Chapter 16: Rapists Suck
*Captain Falcon, Fox, and Peach are all holding onto a rope hanging from the ceiling, clinging on for their very lives. Falcon set off another trap...a lava pit trap.*
Fox: You stupid fawker! I should kick you into the lava!
C.Falcon: I didn't know that the red button was going to open the floor up! I thought it was going to open the door!
Fox: You are the dumbest fawker I have ever met!
Peach: Honey...the button did open the door...so instead of taking your rage out on Falcon, you could please us both by spanking me. *Wink*
Fox: Our arses are hanging on a rope, about to be burnt by a pool of lava and you want me to spank you?!
Peach: The more danger, the more fun it is. *Wink*
C.Falcon: AH! The lava is rising! We have to get in the door!
Peach: That's easy!
*Peach simply jumps from off of the rope and floats over to the door while landing perfectly in the doorway. She turns around to cheer her "baby" on.*
Peach: Come on, honey! You can reach the ledge too!
C.Falcon: Ms. Peach...some of us don't have such jumping skills!
*Fox jumps off of the rope and to the door. He barely makes it, but he manages to grab the ledge. As Fox begins to pull himself up, Falcon jumps off of the rope and to the ledge. He isn't as lucky with his jumping and begins to fall. He grabs Fox's tail, holding on for his life. Pain surges through Fox's body as his tail is being squeezed and pulled on by Captain Falcon.*
Fox: Ugh!
Peach: Honey, what's wrong?!
Fox: The dumb fawker is pulling on my tail! It feels like it's going to fall off!
Peach: FALCON! Let go! I have "plans" for that tail scheduled for tonight!
Fox: You could atleast try helping me up, tramp!
Peach: Oh, right!
*Peach begins to help pull Fox into the door. Fox and Captain Falcon successfully make it into the door. Peach slaps Captain Falcon.*
C.Falcon: Ouch!
Peach: What the hell were you thinking grabbing onto my baby's tail like that?!
C.Falcon: I didn't think he would mind help saving my life!
Peach: If his tail is damaged in anyway...I hope that that galactic bimbo gets raped!
C.Falcon: *Gasp* Samus! I forgot! We have been in here for almost a half hour! She must have been raped by now! DAMN YOU BOWSER!
Fox: *rubbing tail* if it's anyone's fault that she got raped, it's yours! You are a trap magnet! I will never travel anywhere that is trap infested with a dumb fawker like you!
Peach: Honey, is your tail hurt?
Fox: Only a little...not that it's your damn business anyway!
Peach: Aw, don't worry, baby. Your tail will feel better after we put the whipped cream on it later tonight. *Wink*
Fox: WHAT?!
C.Falcon: Why would you put whipped cream on his tail?
Peach: Mind your business, Falcon!
Fox: You are not going to put whipped cream on my tail...or any other part of my body!
Peach: Oh, so you are going to put it on me instead?
Fox: There will be no whipped cream at all!
Peach: I see...well, I have banana pudding! That is probably way more fun than whipped cream!
C.Falcon: How can food be fun?
Fox: *Sigh*
Peach: Honey...what is that?
*Peach points into the depths of the hall as a shadowy figure guards a large red door. The figure is aware of the presence of Falcon, Fox, and Peach. It begins to walk towards them.*
C.Falcon: Bowser! You bastard! I know that's you! Falcon Kick!
*Captain Falcon charges at the figure in a Falcon Kick. The shadowed figure steps into the light, revealing himself to be Donkey Kong. Falcon stops in his tracks before his Falcon Kick collided with the gorilla.*
C.Falcon: Oh...it's just you, DK. Have you seen Samus?
DK: Are you here to take her from Bowser?
C.Falcon: Well, yeah...
*Punch*
*The large gorilla's fist collided with the side of Falcon's head, sending him flying back towards Fox and Peach.*
C.Falcon: What are you doing?! Samus is in trouble!
DK: Bowser has ordered me to beat-up anyone who tries to interrupt his rape session.
C.Falcon: Why would you work for him, anyway?
DK: I get a ton of bananas!
Fox: Figures...
DK: ARGH!
*DK charges towards Falcon, Peach, and Fox. DK comes flying forward with a punch. Falcon backs up against the wall to avoid it, Fox hops over the head of DK, kicking it while in the process. DK stumbles over towards Peach. She jumps back to avoid being the gorilla's cushion. Falcon and Fox take this as an opportunity to kick and stomp DK while he's down. DK gets up with a spin, knocking Falcon and Fox down. Peach begins to throw turnips at the gorilla, but they bounce off of his chest like a paper ball.*
Peach: Uh...honey? Would now be a good time to throw the harpoon?
Fox: No, that's for Bowser!
DK: ...honey? HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peach: Do you find our relationship funny?!
Fox: WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!?!
DK: You...and him? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peach: That is not funny!
*Peach pulls another turnip from the ground. The face of the turnip instantly changes to a "NO I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!"-like face as she stuffs a bob-bomb into the mouth of the turnip. She chucks the turnip at DK who is gasping for air from his laughing fit. A loud explosion echoes through the hall as DK ricochets off of the small walls of the hallway and crashes through the red door he was once guarding. Falcon, Fox, and Peach enter Bowser's throne room to find an unconscious DK and a surprised Troopa guarding the bedroom door.*
Troopa: Um...HALT!
C.Falcon: Where is armored muffin!?
Troopa: Who?
C.Falcon: SAMUS!
Troopa: Oh, it's you guys...and...PEACH?! Bowser will be pleased!
Peach: Where is that bastard anyway? I'm tired of carrying this harpoon!
Troopa: Definitely not in here! *steps infront of bedroom door*
*Thump*
*Squeak*
C.Falcon: What's that noise?
*Inside the bedroom*
Samus: OUCH!
Bowser: It wouldn't hurt so much if you took the suit off!
Samus: Never!
*thwack*
Bowser: Ouch...that cannon is hard!
Samus: Don't make me screw you!
Bowser: SCREW ME BABY!
*Samus does the screw attack straight into Bowser sending him into the wall. She launches her grappling beam and slings him across the room. She then finishes him off with a missile sending him through the door of the bedroom. He flies into the throne room landing ontop of Troopa. Samus walks out of the bedroom with her cannon pointed at Bowser.*
C.Falcon: Armored muffin! You're not raped!
Fox: The harpoon! Now!
Peach: Right, honey!
*Peach launches the harpoon at Bowser's crotch...and misses by a mile. The harpoon flies out of the window of the throne room.*
Fox: YOU CAN'T THROW WORTH SHYTE!
Peach: Sorry, honey. I'm only good with turnips. Now what are we going to destroy Bowser's crotch with?
Samus: Destroy his crotch?
Bowser: Destroy my crotch?
*Samus smiles evilly behind her visor. She launches a missile directly at Bowser's crotch. He pulls Troopa out from under him and blocks the missile. He then flings the burned Troopa at Samus, who flings in away with ease with the swing of her cannon. Bowser gets up and runs over pushes a button on his throne. The ceiling opens revealing several glowing goombas.*
Bowser: I like to call these super goombas.
Samus: What's so "super" about them?
Bowser: You'll see...but first, Peach, I might not have you just yet, but I will have you in the future. Admit it, you enjoyed the last time we met!
Peach: Actually...I've had better.
Bowser: WHAT?!
Peach: A man has handled me roughly a lot better then you ever could! Or, will handle me soon. *She turns, smiling at Fox*
Fox: Huh? What?
Bowser: You...you...you unappreciative byatch!
Peach: Fox! Did you here what he called me?!
Fox: Yeah, so?
*Bowser taps the button again and the "super" goombas are released. They begin to bounce around the room at tremendous speeds causing heavy damage. One bounces off of Captain Falcons head, causing him to fall over. The others begin to flee the room before the super goombas smack into them.
*Captain Falcon, Fox, and Peach are all holding onto a rope hanging from the ceiling, clinging on for their very lives. Falcon set off another trap...a lava pit trap.*
Fox: You stupid fawker! I should kick you into the lava!
C.Falcon: I didn't know that the red button was going to open the floor up! I thought it was going to open the door!
Fox: You are the dumbest fawker I have ever met!
Peach: Honey...the button did open the door...so instead of taking your rage out on Falcon, you could please us both by spanking me. *Wink*
Fox: Our arses are hanging on a rope, about to be burnt by a pool of lava and you want me to spank you?!
Peach: The more danger, the more fun it is. *Wink*
C.Falcon: AH! The lava is rising! We have to get in the door!
Peach: That's easy!
*Peach simply jumps from off of the rope and floats over to the door while landing perfectly in the doorway. She turns around to cheer her "baby" on.*
Peach: Come on, honey! You can reach the ledge too!
C.Falcon: Ms. Peach...some of us don't have such jumping skills!
*Fox jumps off of the rope and to the door. He barely makes it, but he manages to grab the ledge. As Fox begins to pull himself up, Falcon jumps off of the rope and to the ledge. He isn't as lucky with his jumping and begins to fall. He grabs Fox's tail, holding on for his life. Pain surges through Fox's body as his tail is being squeezed and pulled on by Captain Falcon.*
Fox: Ugh!
Peach: Honey, what's wrong?!
Fox: The dumb fawker is pulling on my tail! It feels like it's going to fall off!
Peach: FALCON! Let go! I have "plans" for that tail scheduled for tonight!
Fox: You could atleast try helping me up, tramp!
Peach: Oh, right!
*Peach begins to help pull Fox into the door. Fox and Captain Falcon successfully make it into the door. Peach slaps Captain Falcon.*
C.Falcon: Ouch!
Peach: What the hell were you thinking grabbing onto my baby's tail like that?!
C.Falcon: I didn't think he would mind help saving my life!
Peach: If his tail is damaged in anyway...I hope that that galactic bimbo gets raped!
C.Falcon: *Gasp* Samus! I forgot! We have been in here for almost a half hour! She must have been raped by now! DAMN YOU BOWSER!
Fox: *rubbing tail* if it's anyone's fault that she got raped, it's yours! You are a trap magnet! I will never travel anywhere that is trap infested with a dumb fawker like you!
Peach: Honey, is your tail hurt?
Fox: Only a little...not that it's your damn business anyway!
Peach: Aw, don't worry, baby. Your tail will feel better after we put the whipped cream on it later tonight. *Wink*
Fox: WHAT?!
C.Falcon: Why would you put whipped cream on his tail?
Peach: Mind your business, Falcon!
Fox: You are not going to put whipped cream on my tail...or any other part of my body!
Peach: Oh, so you are going to put it on me instead?
Fox: There will be no whipped cream at all!
Peach: I see...well, I have banana pudding! That is probably way more fun than whipped cream!
C.Falcon: How can food be fun?
Fox: *Sigh*
Peach: Honey...what is that?
*Peach points into the depths of the hall as a shadowy figure guards a large red door. The figure is aware of the presence of Falcon, Fox, and Peach. It begins to walk towards them.*
C.Falcon: Bowser! You bastard! I know that's you! Falcon Kick!
*Captain Falcon charges at the figure in a Falcon Kick. The shadowed figure steps into the light, revealing himself to be Donkey Kong. Falcon stops in his tracks before his Falcon Kick collided with the gorilla.*
C.Falcon: Oh...it's just you, DK. Have you seen Samus?
DK: Are you here to take her from Bowser?
C.Falcon: Well, yeah...
*Punch*
*The large gorilla's fist collided with the side of Falcon's head, sending him flying back towards Fox and Peach.*
C.Falcon: What are you doing?! Samus is in trouble!
DK: Bowser has ordered me to beat-up anyone who tries to interrupt his rape session.
C.Falcon: Why would you work for him, anyway?
DK: I get a ton of bananas!
Fox: Figures...
DK: ARGH!
*DK charges towards Falcon, Peach, and Fox. DK comes flying forward with a punch. Falcon backs up against the wall to avoid it, Fox hops over the head of DK, kicking it while in the process. DK stumbles over towards Peach. She jumps back to avoid being the gorilla's cushion. Falcon and Fox take this as an opportunity to kick and stomp DK while he's down. DK gets up with a spin, knocking Falcon and Fox down. Peach begins to throw turnips at the gorilla, but they bounce off of his chest like a paper ball.*
Peach: Uh...honey? Would now be a good time to throw the harpoon?
Fox: No, that's for Bowser!
DK: ...honey? HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peach: Do you find our relationship funny?!
Fox: WHAT RELATIONSHIP?!?!
DK: You...and him? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Peach: That is not funny!
*Peach pulls another turnip from the ground. The face of the turnip instantly changes to a "NO I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!"-like face as she stuffs a bob-bomb into the mouth of the turnip. She chucks the turnip at DK who is gasping for air from his laughing fit. A loud explosion echoes through the hall as DK ricochets off of the small walls of the hallway and crashes through the red door he was once guarding. Falcon, Fox, and Peach enter Bowser's throne room to find an unconscious DK and a surprised Troopa guarding the bedroom door.*
Troopa: Um...HALT!
C.Falcon: Where is armored muffin!?
Troopa: Who?
C.Falcon: SAMUS!
Troopa: Oh, it's you guys...and...PEACH?! Bowser will be pleased!
Peach: Where is that bastard anyway? I'm tired of carrying this harpoon!
Troopa: Definitely not in here! *steps infront of bedroom door*
*Thump*
*Squeak*
C.Falcon: What's that noise?
*Inside the bedroom*
Samus: OUCH!
Bowser: It wouldn't hurt so much if you took the suit off!
Samus: Never!
*thwack*
Bowser: Ouch...that cannon is hard!
Samus: Don't make me screw you!
Bowser: SCREW ME BABY!
*Samus does the screw attack straight into Bowser sending him into the wall. She launches her grappling beam and slings him across the room. She then finishes him off with a missile sending him through the door of the bedroom. He flies into the throne room landing ontop of Troopa. Samus walks out of the bedroom with her cannon pointed at Bowser.*
C.Falcon: Armored muffin! You're not raped!
Fox: The harpoon! Now!
Peach: Right, honey!
*Peach launches the harpoon at Bowser's crotch...and misses by a mile. The harpoon flies out of the window of the throne room.*
Fox: YOU CAN'T THROW WORTH SHYTE!
Peach: Sorry, honey. I'm only good with turnips. Now what are we going to destroy Bowser's crotch with?
Samus: Destroy his crotch?
Bowser: Destroy my crotch?
*Samus smiles evilly behind her visor. She launches a missile directly at Bowser's crotch. He pulls Troopa out from under him and blocks the missile. He then flings the burned Troopa at Samus, who flings in away with ease with the swing of her cannon. Bowser gets up and runs over pushes a button on his throne. The ceiling opens revealing several glowing goombas.*
Bowser: I like to call these super goombas.
Samus: What's so "super" about them?
Bowser: You'll see...but first, Peach, I might not have you just yet, but I will have you in the future. Admit it, you enjoyed the last time we met!
Peach: Actually...I've had better.
Bowser: WHAT?!
Peach: A man has handled me roughly a lot better then you ever could! Or, will handle me soon. *She turns, smiling at Fox*
Fox: Huh? What?
Bowser: You...you...you unappreciative byatch!
Peach: Fox! Did you here what he called me?!
Fox: Yeah, so?
*Bowser taps the button again and the "super" goombas are released. They begin to bounce around the room at tremendous speeds causing heavy damage. One bounces off of Captain Falcons head, causing him to fall over. The others begin to flee the room before the super goombas smack into them.