Chapter 19: An Insane Conclusion for an Insane Journey
*Samus ship is parked near the shack Popo and Nana call home. Most of the other mascots have already been dropped off. Only Kirby, Fox, Samus, Zelda, Link, Yoshi, Captain Falcon, Peach, Mario, Toad and Shyla remain. Popo waves goodbye as he and Nana enter their home. Kirby waves back enthusiastically. He is in a much better mood now that Pikachu isn't in his presence for the time being. The ship takes off in the direction of the Mushroom Kingdom. The ship lands and Peach, Mario, and Toad exit.*
Peach: *Sigh*
Mario: What's wrong-a Peach?
Peach: I really wanted to take Pikachu home… *sigh*
Mario: Maybe you can-a see him-a tomorrow.
Peach: WHAT THE HELL!?
Mario: What-a?!
*Peach remembers the damage done to the roof of the castle earlier. Half of the roof was still floating in the moat.*
Peach: Toad…start fixing the roof.
Toad: No.
Peach: WHAT?!
Mario: Toad-a, fix-a the roof-a!
Toad: Make me.
Mario: Now is not-a the time to get-a bold-a! Luigi tried-a that-a and-a we don't-a even-a know where he is now!
Toad: This-a and that-a! Why don't you just shut the hell up-a!
Mario: I do not-a appreciate-a being mocked-a!!!
Peach: Toad, how dare you rebel!
*Peach raises her whip and Toad flinches in anticipation of the oncoming attack but begins to back away as he realize that Peach is having another headache.*
Peach: Ugh…
Mario: Peach-a! What's-a wrong-a?!
Peach: Another headache………what am I doing down here?!
*Samus' ship begins to rise into the air and take off.*
Peach: Fox? FOX! Fox is on there! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
Mario: Why are you looking-a for that-a furry bastard-a? He is trash and should-a be avoided-a.
Peach: Don't you ever talk about Fox like that!
*Peach grabs Mario and tosses him into the moat with all of her might causing most of the water to empty out in the process. She turns around and runs in the direction of Samus ship but cannot catch it. She slouches down on the ground in sorrow, as she wouldn't see her Fox again for the rest of the day. She then vowed to herself that she'd see Fox before the day was over and ran in the direction of Samus ship again. Inside the ship, however, was a different story…*
Kirby: *looking out a window* Um…Samus, I think Peach was chasing the ship.
Samus: There is no time to make side-stops. Falcon and I have to get to the restaurant on time.
Fox: Crazy tramp was probably after me again.
Samus: Why are you here anyway? Don't you have an Arwing you could fly back to Corneria?
Fox: Maybe I could fly it to Corneria if it wasn't already IN Corneria.
Samus: Next time, plan ahead. And speaking of Corneria, Shyla, are you going back there or are you going to Yoshi's Island with Yoshi?
Yoshi: She's going back to Corneria.
Shyla: No, I'm going with you.
Yoshi: CORNERIA!
Shyla: YOU!
Yoshi: Corneria!
*Shyla grabs Yoshi by the neck and brings his face inches from her own.*
Shyla: I'm going with you and that's final.
Yoshi: Ugh…neck…hurts…can't breathe!
*Shyla drops Yoshi, who begins to take deep breaths for air. She then grabs him up again but in a hugging motion as she realizes what she has done.*
Shyla: I'm sorry! I can't control my temper!
Yoshi: This could be a problem. Umm…
Zelda: Yoshi, I thought you liked it rough! *Laugh*
Yoshi: I shall have my revenge…Zelda…
*Zelda continued to laugh until she saw the evil look Yoshi was giving her. He was serious about revenge.*
Samus: OUT!
Yoshi: Wha?
Samus: Out, now! We're at Yoshi Island so get out!
Yoshi: Damn this ship is fast!
Samus: Shoo! Be gone!
*Samus starts to push Yoshi and Shyla out of the ship.*
Yoshi: Hey! Wait! My home is on the other side of the island!
Samus: Then you better start walking! You need the exercise.
Yoshi: That's not funny!
Zelda: Yes, Samus. Don't say that. You are starting to sound like that Richard Simmons beast.
*Link shakes his head in disgust.*
*Yoshi gives Zelda an evil glare once again.*
Yoshi: I will have my revenge…you better not take this lightly.
Zelda: Why not? Any and everything that comes from you should be taken lightly. *Laugh*
Yoshi: *growl*
Samus: Well, Yoshi, as my new saying goes…"You flirt, you hurt"…copyright Samus Aran. Now OUT!!!
*Seconds later, the two dinosaurs were hurled out of the craft and into the depths of the island. Samus spent no time in taking off. The ship was gone before Yoshi or Shyla could hit the ground.*
Yoshi: Looks like I'm stuck with you…
Shyla: Yes!
Yoshi: *sigh*
Samus: Kirby, ready to go back to Dreamland? Even if you aren't ready you are going there anyway!
Kirby: Ah…um…change of plans. I'm going to Corneria with Fox.
Samus&Zelda: WHAT? WHY?!
*Link raises a brow.*
Kirby: Um…business.
Samus: Well that's one less stop on my list. Hyrule is close by. Link, Zelda, prepare to leave.
*The ship zoomed over the Marketplace and landed in Hyrule Castle's courtyard. The courtyard was damp and muddy from rain. Link took Zelda's hand and escorted her off of the ship. Link lost his balance slipped on the wet grass, pulling Zelda down with him accidentally into puddle of mud, making a large and loud splash, covering them both with mud. The ship took off and disappeared in a flash. Zelda gave Link an annoyed look after removing mud-covered hair from her face.*
Zelda: Way to go, hero. What do you have to say for yourself?
Link: …
Zelda: WELL?!
Link: …
Zelda: Hmph!
Link: Well excuse me princess but if you hadn't pulled me in the opposite direction we wouldn't have fallen!
Zelda: … (speechless)
*A cloud of dust appeared in the distance. Something seemed to be causing it. Whatever it was, headed towards Link and Zelda at speeds that would put Sonic to shame. The object stopped inches before Link and Zelda. The wind that followed the object caught up with it, colliding into Link and Zelda, almost drying them instantly until the dust cloud caught up, dirtying them again. The object was a frantic Peach.*
Peach: Which way did Samus' ship go?!
Zelda: …
Peach: WELL?!
Zelda: …
Link: They went that way. *Pointing to the direction the ship left*
Peach: Okay! FOX, I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!
*Peach was ready to take off when she realized that something was not right here. She brushed it off and speeded into the direction Link pointed in just as fast as she had come.*
Link: …
Zelda: *gasping for air* LINK! SPEAK AGAIN!
Link: …?
Zelda: I heard you! Speak again!
Link: …?
Zelda: Ugh!
Computer: Now entering Corneria. Permission to dock on the Great Fox: granted.
*Samus lands the ship inside of the Great Fox. The hatch opens and Kirby, followed by Fox, climb out. Samus slides her body halfway through the hatch.*
Samus: Well…it seems we must part ways again.
Kirby: Yeah…
Samus: Who knows when something else will bring us all back together again?
Kirby: I have a feeling that it won't be too long before something else will bring us together.
Samus: I guess I'll cross paths with you again sometime soon-
Fox: Hurry it up wench!
Samus: Later, Kirby. And don't forget to get your rabies shot, Fox. We wouldn't want you getting thrown into a pound or getting put to sleep. *Laugh*
Fox: *Growl*
*Captain Falcon squeezes his head through the hatch.*
C.Falcon: Bye! *Waves* Sorry I got you so mad at me, Kirby!
*Samus pushes Falcon's head back into the ship and closes the hatch. The ship zooms out of the Great Fox. Peppy Hare comes rushing to Fox.*
Peppy: Fox! Some rhino was here earlier. He said that he was going to sue you for damages done to his pub.
Fox: Whatever.
Slippy: FOX! I told Falco not to do it but he did it anyway!
Fox: What did he do, dammit?!
Slippy: He painted your Arwing pink! Then he painted little daffodils with the pink!
Peppy: Ah! *pointing at Kirby*…that thing…is back?
Kirby: I am not a thing!
Fox: Well I have your first job in mind. SCRUB THE ARWING CLEAN!
Kirby: *Rolling eyes* I'll wash it…but I don't do windows!
*Slippy leads Fox to his newly painted Arwing. The paint job was crappy, as if whoever had painted the Arwing had done it in a hurry.*
Slippy: See! Isn't it terrible!?
Fox: God-fawking-damn! I'm going to get that bastard back! The Arwing looks like it belongs to a damn hippie!
Kirby: Heh.
Fox: You shouldn't be laughing. You have to wash it off! *Walks away*
Kirby: …*Grumble*
Slippy: Wait! Fox, where are you going?!
Fox: To find that bastard1 He will not get away with this!
*Fox begins his search of the Great Fox for Falco. Kirby fetches a pail of water (How I loathe that phrase) and sponge. After finding a ladder so he could reach the Arwing, he began to clean it and grumble in the process. A phone nearby began to ring. No one came to answer it. Kirby ignored the silence-clashing ring until it had become a jackhammer in his head. He dropped the sponge in frustration and decided to answer the call so the damned ringing could stop. He jumped off of the ladder, landing with an annoyed "Thud!" and stomped over to the phone, picking it up and answering the call.*
Kirby: What?! Who is it?!
????: Kirby…?
Kirby: Mr. Miyamoto?!
Miyamoto: Kirby, there's something I want you to get for me…
Kirby: O..kay…?
Miyamoto: That's why I told Fox that you would have to do anything he told you to do.
Kirby: So I don't?
Miyamoto: No, you don't. You can leave as soon as you get what I want you to get…if you can distract Fox somehow.
Kirby: Well I have a question…why me?
Miyamoto: Why you? Because you are the most cooperative put of the other mascots. If I had sent someone…say…like Samus, there would be a war on the Great Fox right about now.
Kirby: Heh…so what did you want me to get?
Miyamoto: Plans.
Kirby: Plans?
Miyamoto: Yes, plans. They are on indigo colored paper with the Gamecube symbol on it. I sent the plans to the Great Fox because I felt that they would be safer in the Nintendo Universe. They should be in General Pepper's office.
Kirby: Okay…I'll call you when I get back home with the plans…wait…how will I contact you? And how did you contact me?
Miyamoto: That is not of importance. I will contact YOU. *Click*
*Kirby dropped the phone as he heard footsteps approaching. He climbed back up the ladder and pretended to be cleaning the Arwing in case it was Fox who was coming back. Kirby was relieved that it was not Fox, but rather Falco. He was on edge once again, though, from the blast fired from Falco's blaster. He fell off of the ladder and landed on his head.*
Falco: Hey! Don't try to clean that Arwing!
Kirby: Okay, I won't. Just don't shoot at me next time!
Falco: Shut up…hey, you're that thing that was here a while ago. What are you doing here?!
Kirby: Why does everyone insist on me being a "thing"?!
Falco: Well, you are a thing. I don't think you've looked in the mirror lately!
Kirby: I have a name!
Falco: And I am suppose to know that, how, genius?!
Fox: Hah! Found you, bastard!
*Fox was behind Falco, with his blaster pointed straight at him. Falco slowly turned around.*
Falco: Heh…*Sweatdrop* Fox, you must be getting old. Never took you this long to find me…
Fox: Shut up!
Falco: Put the blaster down right now…because we all know you won't do it, Fox.
Kirby: Violence is not the answer!
Fox: Shut up punk!
Falco: Let's stay rational, Fox.
Fox: I'm going to make you eat that can of paint you used to paint my Arwing!
Falco: Damn, I bet Slippy squealed…
Kirby: … Now is my chance to escape!
*Kirby began to tiptoe by the arguing Fox and Falco. They were completely ignorant of his actions. "Home free", Kirby thought to himself. Kirby had gone into a walking motion…until he bumped into Slippy.*
Slippy: Fox! FOX!
Kirby: NO! He is going to squeal!
Fox: What?! I'm busy!
Slippy: General Pepper wants to see you.
Kirby: Phew! Maybe I can still get away!
Falco: What did you do this time?
Fox: I'll deal with you later.
Slippy: Take your…pet…with you, too. I don't think it should be wandering around the Great Fox.
Fox: Damn punk! Can't stay in one place!
Kirby: You…you squealer! That's why your voice is at an even higher pitch than mine!
Falco: It's got you there, Slippy.
Slippy: My voice…*tearing up*…is not at a high pitch! *Sniff*
Fox: Come on, punk! I can't take my eyes off of you.
Kirby: Are you ever going to stop calling me a punk?
Fox: Nope.
Kirby: That's what I thought. *Sigh*
*Fox and Kirby made their way down the hall towards General Pepper's office when they heard something bang up against one of the windows of the Great Fox. On it was Peach, clinging onto it for her life.*
Peach: FOX! I love yoooooooouuuuuuu!!!
Fox: As if I didn't already know that…
Kirby: How did she…?
Peach: Honey, please open the window so I can get in.
Fox: Hm…no.
Peach: Please?!
Kirby: Fox, she could fall into the city below and die!
Fox: …I think I will open the window.
*Fox jerks the window open quickly, causing Peach to lose her grip on the window and fall into the city below.*
Kirby: Ah! I hope she will be okay! *looks out window*
Fox: The tramp shouldn't be following me… *walks off*
*Fox and Kirby arrived at General Pepper's office. Fox slowly opened the door, to find General Pepper talking with the familiar female Fox who was sitting on a chair by the General's desk. Fox quickly cut his eyes at Kirby.*
Kirby: I didn't say a thing!
G.Pepper: Fox, come in and sit down. We have matters to discuss.
Female Fox: You didn't have to drag Fox into this!
G.Pepper: Why not, Iris? It concerns him aswell.
*The female fox, known as Iris, rolled her eyes at her grandfather and stubbornly turned her head to the side with her eyes closed, letting her long her swing to the side. Pepper sighed, and returned to his seat at his desk.*
G.Pepper: Fox…
Fox: Yes, General?
G.Pepper: Why is that thing here again?
Fox: You can't trust this punk. I have to keep my eye on him.
Kirby: Hmph!
Iris: Grandfather, if you are going to bring Fox in here you could at least get to the point!
G.Pepper: Ah, yes! Fox…
*General Pepper had leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. He then closed his eyes (not like anyone could see behind those shades anyway) to show that he was serious about the situation.*
G.Pepper: …Iris has told me that the two of you have slept together…twice, to be exact.
Kirby: Twice?! I thought it was once!
Fox: Twice?
G.Pepper: You don't remember?
Iris: The first time, he was pretty drunk. No big deal, because it was even as fun as the second time! Of course, someone had interrupted us. Kinda looked like that thing *points at Kirby*.
G.Pepper: You lost your virginity with a man who doesn't even remember the night!
Iris: I SAID THAT IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL!
G.Pepper: *ahem* you are as wild or probably even wilder than your mother. She went after that Fox until she forced him to marry her. I told her to stay within her own species!
Iris: Well my father was a good man!
G.Pepper: Are YOU even sure that Fox was your first?
Iris: Grandfather! I am not a whore! Fox is my first and only!
G.Pepper: Well that still doesn't satisfy me. You could have told me that you were going to sleep with the leader of the Star Fox team!
Iris: It's not like Fox did anything cruel to me! He was quite gentle. He knows how to treat a lady right. *Iris winks and blows a kiss to Fox*
Fox: …eh?
Iris: Actually, I'm glad you brought Fox into this. I have an announcement to make to the both of you, anyway…
G.Pepper: Go ahead…
Iris: I'm…pregnant.
*Fox and General Pepper had fallen out of their seats in shock. Even Kirby stumbled over from the announcement. General Pepper managed to climb back to his feet. He ran over to his granddaughter and felt her stomach.*
G.Pepper: Yes…it has gotten larger since I've last seen you. Are you sure that Fox is the father?
Iris: I SAID THAT I WASN'T A WHORE!
G.Pepper: Hmm…this changes things…
Kirby: …! Ah! I have to get those plans!
*Kirby crept over to General Pepper's empty desk. He quietly opened a small compartment on the desk and shuffled through folders and files.*
Iris: What do you mean?
G.Pepper: This changes things because I thought that Fox could very well disappear from your life forever whenever he wanted to. With a child, he has more of a commitment to you.
Iris: Do you approve of our relationship now?
Fox: Relationship? What?
G.Pepper: Yes, I do…it also gives me something to brag about. My granddaughter is having a child by the leader of the Star Fox Team. I always wanted to be a Great Grandfather!
Iris: Oh, grandfather. *Rolls eyes*
*Kirby found the plans! He grabs them out of the compartment and closes it quietly. But how to hide them from everyone was the new problem? Kirby shoved the plans into his mouth, hoping no one would notice. He quickly moved away from General Pepper's desk before anyone noticed. Pepper helps Fox get back to his feet. He was still shocked from the announcement.*
G.Pepper: Welcome to the family!
Fox: Er…huh…?
G.Pepper: You two kids go discuss your future…I won't hold you up.
Iris: Come on Fox. We've got some planning to do.
*Iris grabs Fox and drags him out of the room. Kirby follows behind them quickly. General Pepper scratches his ear as he remembers that Kirby was in the room during the event. He brushes it off as nothing and returns to his desk to think about what his granddaughter's future may be like with the leader of the Star Fox team as the father of her child…and maybe her future husband. Fox finally breaks free of Iris' grasp in the hallway, letting everything that just happen soak into his head.*
Iris: I think we should buy some things for the baby.
Fox: I refuse to go shopping for baby products!
Iris: You helped make this child; you are going to help me buy things for him. Besides, you are mine now!
Kirby: *Spitting plans out of his mouth* No more picking up random women at the bar, Fox. *Snicker* Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going back home.
Fox: Hey, wait! You can't go anywhere just yet you punk!
*Kirby runs down the hallway. Fox tries to chase after him but is grabbed by Iris.*
Fox: Hey!?
Iris: He is not important, I am! You should be paying more attention to ME!
Fox: *sigh*
*Kirby rides his Warp Star back to his home. Just as he enters his dark house, which is only lit by the moonlight, the phone rings. Kirby walks over and answers the call.*
Kirby: Hello?
Miyamoto: Did you get the plans, Kirby?
Kirby: How did you…ah, well yeah, I got the plans! What was wrong, earlier? You sounded pretty upset.
Miyamoto: Issues with Sony…I'll have to get those plans soon or later. Maybe you could use that device to bring me back one day?
Kirby: Sure…ah! I forgot that Samus still has it! Oh well, its in good hands. I'll get it from her soon.
Miyamoto: Before I forget, Kirby, just for cooperating, I still put in a suggestion for you to get a new game.
Kirby: And?!
Miyamoto: We have all agreed that you will get a new game…there is even a possibility for you to have two games.
Kirby: THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
Miyamoto: KIRBY! You almost destroyed my eardrum.
Kirby: Oh, sorry. I'll celebrate tomorrow. Right now, I just want some rest.
Miyamoto: You deserve it.
Kirby: Okay…bye…
*Kirby sets the plans down by the phone, and creeps into his bed, falling to sleep almost instantly. A figure appears in the shadows of Kirby's house. Hey, that's me!*
Claude: That ends Kirby's Insane Journey to Learn How to Wall Jump…Again! Took me forever to write this thing. 19 chapters…I've overdone myself.
Kirby: *snore* …huh? Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!
Claude: *Sweatdrop* don't worry for you won't remember this meeting!
Kirby: Get out!
*Kirby throws a lamp at Claude, which barely misses his head.*
Claude: Don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for the third installment in the series!
Kirby: Why aren't you out yet?!
*Kirby proceeds to throw objects at Claude. Claude flees the house covering his head as a hurled television set follows him.*
Claude: Kirby's Insane Journey to Find the Two Forbidden Amulets of Light and Darkness! Peace!
THE END
*sniff* Sad to see my own fic end...
*Samus ship is parked near the shack Popo and Nana call home. Most of the other mascots have already been dropped off. Only Kirby, Fox, Samus, Zelda, Link, Yoshi, Captain Falcon, Peach, Mario, Toad and Shyla remain. Popo waves goodbye as he and Nana enter their home. Kirby waves back enthusiastically. He is in a much better mood now that Pikachu isn't in his presence for the time being. The ship takes off in the direction of the Mushroom Kingdom. The ship lands and Peach, Mario, and Toad exit.*
Peach: *Sigh*
Mario: What's wrong-a Peach?
Peach: I really wanted to take Pikachu home… *sigh*
Mario: Maybe you can-a see him-a tomorrow.
Peach: WHAT THE HELL!?
Mario: What-a?!
*Peach remembers the damage done to the roof of the castle earlier. Half of the roof was still floating in the moat.*
Peach: Toad…start fixing the roof.
Toad: No.
Peach: WHAT?!
Mario: Toad-a, fix-a the roof-a!
Toad: Make me.
Mario: Now is not-a the time to get-a bold-a! Luigi tried-a that-a and-a we don't-a even-a know where he is now!
Toad: This-a and that-a! Why don't you just shut the hell up-a!
Mario: I do not-a appreciate-a being mocked-a!!!
Peach: Toad, how dare you rebel!
*Peach raises her whip and Toad flinches in anticipation of the oncoming attack but begins to back away as he realize that Peach is having another headache.*
Peach: Ugh…
Mario: Peach-a! What's-a wrong-a?!
Peach: Another headache………what am I doing down here?!
*Samus' ship begins to rise into the air and take off.*
Peach: Fox? FOX! Fox is on there! FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!!!!
Mario: Why are you looking-a for that-a furry bastard-a? He is trash and should-a be avoided-a.
Peach: Don't you ever talk about Fox like that!
*Peach grabs Mario and tosses him into the moat with all of her might causing most of the water to empty out in the process. She turns around and runs in the direction of Samus ship but cannot catch it. She slouches down on the ground in sorrow, as she wouldn't see her Fox again for the rest of the day. She then vowed to herself that she'd see Fox before the day was over and ran in the direction of Samus ship again. Inside the ship, however, was a different story…*
Kirby: *looking out a window* Um…Samus, I think Peach was chasing the ship.
Samus: There is no time to make side-stops. Falcon and I have to get to the restaurant on time.
Fox: Crazy tramp was probably after me again.
Samus: Why are you here anyway? Don't you have an Arwing you could fly back to Corneria?
Fox: Maybe I could fly it to Corneria if it wasn't already IN Corneria.
Samus: Next time, plan ahead. And speaking of Corneria, Shyla, are you going back there or are you going to Yoshi's Island with Yoshi?
Yoshi: She's going back to Corneria.
Shyla: No, I'm going with you.
Yoshi: CORNERIA!
Shyla: YOU!
Yoshi: Corneria!
*Shyla grabs Yoshi by the neck and brings his face inches from her own.*
Shyla: I'm going with you and that's final.
Yoshi: Ugh…neck…hurts…can't breathe!
*Shyla drops Yoshi, who begins to take deep breaths for air. She then grabs him up again but in a hugging motion as she realizes what she has done.*
Shyla: I'm sorry! I can't control my temper!
Yoshi: This could be a problem. Umm…
Zelda: Yoshi, I thought you liked it rough! *Laugh*
Yoshi: I shall have my revenge…Zelda…
*Zelda continued to laugh until she saw the evil look Yoshi was giving her. He was serious about revenge.*
Samus: OUT!
Yoshi: Wha?
Samus: Out, now! We're at Yoshi Island so get out!
Yoshi: Damn this ship is fast!
Samus: Shoo! Be gone!
*Samus starts to push Yoshi and Shyla out of the ship.*
Yoshi: Hey! Wait! My home is on the other side of the island!
Samus: Then you better start walking! You need the exercise.
Yoshi: That's not funny!
Zelda: Yes, Samus. Don't say that. You are starting to sound like that Richard Simmons beast.
*Link shakes his head in disgust.*
*Yoshi gives Zelda an evil glare once again.*
Yoshi: I will have my revenge…you better not take this lightly.
Zelda: Why not? Any and everything that comes from you should be taken lightly. *Laugh*
Yoshi: *growl*
Samus: Well, Yoshi, as my new saying goes…"You flirt, you hurt"…copyright Samus Aran. Now OUT!!!
*Seconds later, the two dinosaurs were hurled out of the craft and into the depths of the island. Samus spent no time in taking off. The ship was gone before Yoshi or Shyla could hit the ground.*
Yoshi: Looks like I'm stuck with you…
Shyla: Yes!
Yoshi: *sigh*
Samus: Kirby, ready to go back to Dreamland? Even if you aren't ready you are going there anyway!
Kirby: Ah…um…change of plans. I'm going to Corneria with Fox.
Samus&Zelda: WHAT? WHY?!
*Link raises a brow.*
Kirby: Um…business.
Samus: Well that's one less stop on my list. Hyrule is close by. Link, Zelda, prepare to leave.
*The ship zoomed over the Marketplace and landed in Hyrule Castle's courtyard. The courtyard was damp and muddy from rain. Link took Zelda's hand and escorted her off of the ship. Link lost his balance slipped on the wet grass, pulling Zelda down with him accidentally into puddle of mud, making a large and loud splash, covering them both with mud. The ship took off and disappeared in a flash. Zelda gave Link an annoyed look after removing mud-covered hair from her face.*
Zelda: Way to go, hero. What do you have to say for yourself?
Link: …
Zelda: WELL?!
Link: …
Zelda: Hmph!
Link: Well excuse me princess but if you hadn't pulled me in the opposite direction we wouldn't have fallen!
Zelda: … (speechless)
*A cloud of dust appeared in the distance. Something seemed to be causing it. Whatever it was, headed towards Link and Zelda at speeds that would put Sonic to shame. The object stopped inches before Link and Zelda. The wind that followed the object caught up with it, colliding into Link and Zelda, almost drying them instantly until the dust cloud caught up, dirtying them again. The object was a frantic Peach.*
Peach: Which way did Samus' ship go?!
Zelda: …
Peach: WELL?!
Zelda: …
Link: They went that way. *Pointing to the direction the ship left*
Peach: Okay! FOX, I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!
*Peach was ready to take off when she realized that something was not right here. She brushed it off and speeded into the direction Link pointed in just as fast as she had come.*
Link: …
Zelda: *gasping for air* LINK! SPEAK AGAIN!
Link: …?
Zelda: I heard you! Speak again!
Link: …?
Zelda: Ugh!
Computer: Now entering Corneria. Permission to dock on the Great Fox: granted.
*Samus lands the ship inside of the Great Fox. The hatch opens and Kirby, followed by Fox, climb out. Samus slides her body halfway through the hatch.*
Samus: Well…it seems we must part ways again.
Kirby: Yeah…
Samus: Who knows when something else will bring us all back together again?
Kirby: I have a feeling that it won't be too long before something else will bring us together.
Samus: I guess I'll cross paths with you again sometime soon-
Fox: Hurry it up wench!
Samus: Later, Kirby. And don't forget to get your rabies shot, Fox. We wouldn't want you getting thrown into a pound or getting put to sleep. *Laugh*
Fox: *Growl*
*Captain Falcon squeezes his head through the hatch.*
C.Falcon: Bye! *Waves* Sorry I got you so mad at me, Kirby!
*Samus pushes Falcon's head back into the ship and closes the hatch. The ship zooms out of the Great Fox. Peppy Hare comes rushing to Fox.*
Peppy: Fox! Some rhino was here earlier. He said that he was going to sue you for damages done to his pub.
Fox: Whatever.
Slippy: FOX! I told Falco not to do it but he did it anyway!
Fox: What did he do, dammit?!
Slippy: He painted your Arwing pink! Then he painted little daffodils with the pink!
Peppy: Ah! *pointing at Kirby*…that thing…is back?
Kirby: I am not a thing!
Fox: Well I have your first job in mind. SCRUB THE ARWING CLEAN!
Kirby: *Rolling eyes* I'll wash it…but I don't do windows!
*Slippy leads Fox to his newly painted Arwing. The paint job was crappy, as if whoever had painted the Arwing had done it in a hurry.*
Slippy: See! Isn't it terrible!?
Fox: God-fawking-damn! I'm going to get that bastard back! The Arwing looks like it belongs to a damn hippie!
Kirby: Heh.
Fox: You shouldn't be laughing. You have to wash it off! *Walks away*
Kirby: …*Grumble*
Slippy: Wait! Fox, where are you going?!
Fox: To find that bastard1 He will not get away with this!
*Fox begins his search of the Great Fox for Falco. Kirby fetches a pail of water (How I loathe that phrase) and sponge. After finding a ladder so he could reach the Arwing, he began to clean it and grumble in the process. A phone nearby began to ring. No one came to answer it. Kirby ignored the silence-clashing ring until it had become a jackhammer in his head. He dropped the sponge in frustration and decided to answer the call so the damned ringing could stop. He jumped off of the ladder, landing with an annoyed "Thud!" and stomped over to the phone, picking it up and answering the call.*
Kirby: What?! Who is it?!
????: Kirby…?
Kirby: Mr. Miyamoto?!
Miyamoto: Kirby, there's something I want you to get for me…
Kirby: O..kay…?
Miyamoto: That's why I told Fox that you would have to do anything he told you to do.
Kirby: So I don't?
Miyamoto: No, you don't. You can leave as soon as you get what I want you to get…if you can distract Fox somehow.
Kirby: Well I have a question…why me?
Miyamoto: Why you? Because you are the most cooperative put of the other mascots. If I had sent someone…say…like Samus, there would be a war on the Great Fox right about now.
Kirby: Heh…so what did you want me to get?
Miyamoto: Plans.
Kirby: Plans?
Miyamoto: Yes, plans. They are on indigo colored paper with the Gamecube symbol on it. I sent the plans to the Great Fox because I felt that they would be safer in the Nintendo Universe. They should be in General Pepper's office.
Kirby: Okay…I'll call you when I get back home with the plans…wait…how will I contact you? And how did you contact me?
Miyamoto: That is not of importance. I will contact YOU. *Click*
*Kirby dropped the phone as he heard footsteps approaching. He climbed back up the ladder and pretended to be cleaning the Arwing in case it was Fox who was coming back. Kirby was relieved that it was not Fox, but rather Falco. He was on edge once again, though, from the blast fired from Falco's blaster. He fell off of the ladder and landed on his head.*
Falco: Hey! Don't try to clean that Arwing!
Kirby: Okay, I won't. Just don't shoot at me next time!
Falco: Shut up…hey, you're that thing that was here a while ago. What are you doing here?!
Kirby: Why does everyone insist on me being a "thing"?!
Falco: Well, you are a thing. I don't think you've looked in the mirror lately!
Kirby: I have a name!
Falco: And I am suppose to know that, how, genius?!
Fox: Hah! Found you, bastard!
*Fox was behind Falco, with his blaster pointed straight at him. Falco slowly turned around.*
Falco: Heh…*Sweatdrop* Fox, you must be getting old. Never took you this long to find me…
Fox: Shut up!
Falco: Put the blaster down right now…because we all know you won't do it, Fox.
Kirby: Violence is not the answer!
Fox: Shut up punk!
Falco: Let's stay rational, Fox.
Fox: I'm going to make you eat that can of paint you used to paint my Arwing!
Falco: Damn, I bet Slippy squealed…
Kirby: … Now is my chance to escape!
*Kirby began to tiptoe by the arguing Fox and Falco. They were completely ignorant of his actions. "Home free", Kirby thought to himself. Kirby had gone into a walking motion…until he bumped into Slippy.*
Slippy: Fox! FOX!
Kirby: NO! He is going to squeal!
Fox: What?! I'm busy!
Slippy: General Pepper wants to see you.
Kirby: Phew! Maybe I can still get away!
Falco: What did you do this time?
Fox: I'll deal with you later.
Slippy: Take your…pet…with you, too. I don't think it should be wandering around the Great Fox.
Fox: Damn punk! Can't stay in one place!
Kirby: You…you squealer! That's why your voice is at an even higher pitch than mine!
Falco: It's got you there, Slippy.
Slippy: My voice…*tearing up*…is not at a high pitch! *Sniff*
Fox: Come on, punk! I can't take my eyes off of you.
Kirby: Are you ever going to stop calling me a punk?
Fox: Nope.
Kirby: That's what I thought. *Sigh*
*Fox and Kirby made their way down the hall towards General Pepper's office when they heard something bang up against one of the windows of the Great Fox. On it was Peach, clinging onto it for her life.*
Peach: FOX! I love yoooooooouuuuuuu!!!
Fox: As if I didn't already know that…
Kirby: How did she…?
Peach: Honey, please open the window so I can get in.
Fox: Hm…no.
Peach: Please?!
Kirby: Fox, she could fall into the city below and die!
Fox: …I think I will open the window.
*Fox jerks the window open quickly, causing Peach to lose her grip on the window and fall into the city below.*
Kirby: Ah! I hope she will be okay! *looks out window*
Fox: The tramp shouldn't be following me… *walks off*
*Fox and Kirby arrived at General Pepper's office. Fox slowly opened the door, to find General Pepper talking with the familiar female Fox who was sitting on a chair by the General's desk. Fox quickly cut his eyes at Kirby.*
Kirby: I didn't say a thing!
G.Pepper: Fox, come in and sit down. We have matters to discuss.
Female Fox: You didn't have to drag Fox into this!
G.Pepper: Why not, Iris? It concerns him aswell.
*The female fox, known as Iris, rolled her eyes at her grandfather and stubbornly turned her head to the side with her eyes closed, letting her long her swing to the side. Pepper sighed, and returned to his seat at his desk.*
G.Pepper: Fox…
Fox: Yes, General?
G.Pepper: Why is that thing here again?
Fox: You can't trust this punk. I have to keep my eye on him.
Kirby: Hmph!
Iris: Grandfather, if you are going to bring Fox in here you could at least get to the point!
G.Pepper: Ah, yes! Fox…
*General Pepper had leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. He then closed his eyes (not like anyone could see behind those shades anyway) to show that he was serious about the situation.*
G.Pepper: …Iris has told me that the two of you have slept together…twice, to be exact.
Kirby: Twice?! I thought it was once!
Fox: Twice?
G.Pepper: You don't remember?
Iris: The first time, he was pretty drunk. No big deal, because it was even as fun as the second time! Of course, someone had interrupted us. Kinda looked like that thing *points at Kirby*.
G.Pepper: You lost your virginity with a man who doesn't even remember the night!
Iris: I SAID THAT IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL!
G.Pepper: *ahem* you are as wild or probably even wilder than your mother. She went after that Fox until she forced him to marry her. I told her to stay within her own species!
Iris: Well my father was a good man!
G.Pepper: Are YOU even sure that Fox was your first?
Iris: Grandfather! I am not a whore! Fox is my first and only!
G.Pepper: Well that still doesn't satisfy me. You could have told me that you were going to sleep with the leader of the Star Fox team!
Iris: It's not like Fox did anything cruel to me! He was quite gentle. He knows how to treat a lady right. *Iris winks and blows a kiss to Fox*
Fox: …eh?
Iris: Actually, I'm glad you brought Fox into this. I have an announcement to make to the both of you, anyway…
G.Pepper: Go ahead…
Iris: I'm…pregnant.
*Fox and General Pepper had fallen out of their seats in shock. Even Kirby stumbled over from the announcement. General Pepper managed to climb back to his feet. He ran over to his granddaughter and felt her stomach.*
G.Pepper: Yes…it has gotten larger since I've last seen you. Are you sure that Fox is the father?
Iris: I SAID THAT I WASN'T A WHORE!
G.Pepper: Hmm…this changes things…
Kirby: …! Ah! I have to get those plans!
*Kirby crept over to General Pepper's empty desk. He quietly opened a small compartment on the desk and shuffled through folders and files.*
Iris: What do you mean?
G.Pepper: This changes things because I thought that Fox could very well disappear from your life forever whenever he wanted to. With a child, he has more of a commitment to you.
Iris: Do you approve of our relationship now?
Fox: Relationship? What?
G.Pepper: Yes, I do…it also gives me something to brag about. My granddaughter is having a child by the leader of the Star Fox Team. I always wanted to be a Great Grandfather!
Iris: Oh, grandfather. *Rolls eyes*
*Kirby found the plans! He grabs them out of the compartment and closes it quietly. But how to hide them from everyone was the new problem? Kirby shoved the plans into his mouth, hoping no one would notice. He quickly moved away from General Pepper's desk before anyone noticed. Pepper helps Fox get back to his feet. He was still shocked from the announcement.*
G.Pepper: Welcome to the family!
Fox: Er…huh…?
G.Pepper: You two kids go discuss your future…I won't hold you up.
Iris: Come on Fox. We've got some planning to do.
*Iris grabs Fox and drags him out of the room. Kirby follows behind them quickly. General Pepper scratches his ear as he remembers that Kirby was in the room during the event. He brushes it off as nothing and returns to his desk to think about what his granddaughter's future may be like with the leader of the Star Fox team as the father of her child…and maybe her future husband. Fox finally breaks free of Iris' grasp in the hallway, letting everything that just happen soak into his head.*
Iris: I think we should buy some things for the baby.
Fox: I refuse to go shopping for baby products!
Iris: You helped make this child; you are going to help me buy things for him. Besides, you are mine now!
Kirby: *Spitting plans out of his mouth* No more picking up random women at the bar, Fox. *Snicker* Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going back home.
Fox: Hey, wait! You can't go anywhere just yet you punk!
*Kirby runs down the hallway. Fox tries to chase after him but is grabbed by Iris.*
Fox: Hey!?
Iris: He is not important, I am! You should be paying more attention to ME!
Fox: *sigh*
*Kirby rides his Warp Star back to his home. Just as he enters his dark house, which is only lit by the moonlight, the phone rings. Kirby walks over and answers the call.*
Kirby: Hello?
Miyamoto: Did you get the plans, Kirby?
Kirby: How did you…ah, well yeah, I got the plans! What was wrong, earlier? You sounded pretty upset.
Miyamoto: Issues with Sony…I'll have to get those plans soon or later. Maybe you could use that device to bring me back one day?
Kirby: Sure…ah! I forgot that Samus still has it! Oh well, its in good hands. I'll get it from her soon.
Miyamoto: Before I forget, Kirby, just for cooperating, I still put in a suggestion for you to get a new game.
Kirby: And?!
Miyamoto: We have all agreed that you will get a new game…there is even a possibility for you to have two games.
Kirby: THIS IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
Miyamoto: KIRBY! You almost destroyed my eardrum.
Kirby: Oh, sorry. I'll celebrate tomorrow. Right now, I just want some rest.
Miyamoto: You deserve it.
Kirby: Okay…bye…
*Kirby sets the plans down by the phone, and creeps into his bed, falling to sleep almost instantly. A figure appears in the shadows of Kirby's house. Hey, that's me!*
Claude: That ends Kirby's Insane Journey to Learn How to Wall Jump…Again! Took me forever to write this thing. 19 chapters…I've overdone myself.
Kirby: *snore* …huh? Who are you?! What are you doing in my house?!
Claude: *Sweatdrop* don't worry for you won't remember this meeting!
Kirby: Get out!
*Kirby throws a lamp at Claude, which barely misses his head.*
Claude: Don't forget to keep your eyes peeled for the third installment in the series!
Kirby: Why aren't you out yet?!
*Kirby proceeds to throw objects at Claude. Claude flees the house covering his head as a hurled television set follows him.*
Claude: Kirby's Insane Journey to Find the Two Forbidden Amulets of Light and Darkness! Peace!
THE END
*sniff* Sad to see my own fic end...