Ere I Say I Do
Disclaimer: If Snape is ever up for sale, I'm digging out my life savings. Until then, I don't own much.
Author's Note: Yes, yes, another Snape fic. I can be rather single-minded, can I not? After Dumbledore's death, Snape leaves the magical world, swearing to never return. But when Voldemort rises once more, can he stay away? Dedicated to Kate, my fellow MELHS Alan Rickman 'fangirl.'
* * *
Prologue
Minerva McGonagall stared solemnly up at the tall, thin figure that stood before her desk. "Are you positive of your decision, Professor?"
He nodded. "Absolutely, Minerva. I cannot stay any longer." He paused, glancing out the window behind the desk. The sun shone merrily through the sparse clouds, in dire contrast to his stormy mood. "I promised Albus when I came back that I would stay as long as he was here. It was my penance for the things I had done, the lives I had taken... a way to show my gratitude to him. But, Albus is..." his voice quavered uncharacteristically for a moment before he regained control of it. "He's... gone now and there is no reason for me to remain."
"But what about the children, the school? We need you now, during these dark times."
He shook his head, cutting her off. "No, you do not need me. Voldemort is gone now, the school is safe." What good would he do to the students? They hated him still, always would. They needed someone they could turn to, not someone to take points from their houses for ruining potions with their tears.
She sighed, clasping her small, thin hands together. "I understand and accept your resignation." With those words, he turned and made his way to the door, his dark robes billowing behind him. "But where will you go?"
He paused, glancing back at her. "I don't know yet."
They maintained eye contact for a few seconds before she stood and turned away from him, gazing out the window. "You will find your way, Severus. You always have."
"Thank you." The words were soft and low, but she heard them before the sound of the door closing covered them.
He strode from the room, his head held high. After all, he was not the type to betray his emotions. He never had been. But if he were, he might have collapsed against the wall, tears streaking his pale face in regret and guilt. He might have pounded the wall with his stony fist, swearing with an intensity that he seldom knew.
But he kept walking. Ignoring the stares directed at him and the whispers that swirled about, he made his way down the stairs and outside, where the cold air struck him as hard as the all-too-clear reality of his situation.
Voldemort was dead, which was something he should rejoice over, were he the type to rejoice. He was dead, but so was Albus Dumbledore. Albus had died to save that damn Potter, which was a fact Snape could not begin to forgive, despite the fact that Albus had taken Voldemort to the grave with him.
He couldn't bring himself to stay in this place. He had fulfilled his promise to Albus. No more was expected of him. Hogwarts would find another Potions professor, just as they would find another headmaster. A pang shot through him. He hadn't imagined he'd see the day when there would be a different headmaster. Albus Dumbledore had seemed so... constant. He had actually let himself believe that the old wizard would always be there, like some childhood folly.
A bitter laugh escaped his lips, and he gathered his cloak more tightly about himself. The winter wind whipped around him, howling mournfully. But in his mind, he only heard the screams of the dead.
He shook his head violently, trying to dispel the horrid memories that threatened to once again overwhelm him. He had to get out of here, or his memories would drive him insane. His pace quickened.
Minerva watched the speck of black move steadily across the courtyard to the gates. Severus Snape had been a loyal professor, ever since his return from the darker side of magic. She shuddered to think of the terrible deeds he had done. But that life was behind him, at least physically. She knew, as did any other professor, that his past still haunted him.
"God speed," she whispered softly. It was a Muggle phrase, she knew, but still, she felt its purpose was never more direly needed. "God speed," she repeated, watching as yet another Hogwarts professor disappeared from her life. Somehow, she knew she would not see him again.
END PROLOGUE
Disclaimer: If Snape is ever up for sale, I'm digging out my life savings. Until then, I don't own much.
Author's Note: Yes, yes, another Snape fic. I can be rather single-minded, can I not? After Dumbledore's death, Snape leaves the magical world, swearing to never return. But when Voldemort rises once more, can he stay away? Dedicated to Kate, my fellow MELHS Alan Rickman 'fangirl.'
* * *
Prologue
Minerva McGonagall stared solemnly up at the tall, thin figure that stood before her desk. "Are you positive of your decision, Professor?"
He nodded. "Absolutely, Minerva. I cannot stay any longer." He paused, glancing out the window behind the desk. The sun shone merrily through the sparse clouds, in dire contrast to his stormy mood. "I promised Albus when I came back that I would stay as long as he was here. It was my penance for the things I had done, the lives I had taken... a way to show my gratitude to him. But, Albus is..." his voice quavered uncharacteristically for a moment before he regained control of it. "He's... gone now and there is no reason for me to remain."
"But what about the children, the school? We need you now, during these dark times."
He shook his head, cutting her off. "No, you do not need me. Voldemort is gone now, the school is safe." What good would he do to the students? They hated him still, always would. They needed someone they could turn to, not someone to take points from their houses for ruining potions with their tears.
She sighed, clasping her small, thin hands together. "I understand and accept your resignation." With those words, he turned and made his way to the door, his dark robes billowing behind him. "But where will you go?"
He paused, glancing back at her. "I don't know yet."
They maintained eye contact for a few seconds before she stood and turned away from him, gazing out the window. "You will find your way, Severus. You always have."
"Thank you." The words were soft and low, but she heard them before the sound of the door closing covered them.
He strode from the room, his head held high. After all, he was not the type to betray his emotions. He never had been. But if he were, he might have collapsed against the wall, tears streaking his pale face in regret and guilt. He might have pounded the wall with his stony fist, swearing with an intensity that he seldom knew.
But he kept walking. Ignoring the stares directed at him and the whispers that swirled about, he made his way down the stairs and outside, where the cold air struck him as hard as the all-too-clear reality of his situation.
Voldemort was dead, which was something he should rejoice over, were he the type to rejoice. He was dead, but so was Albus Dumbledore. Albus had died to save that damn Potter, which was a fact Snape could not begin to forgive, despite the fact that Albus had taken Voldemort to the grave with him.
He couldn't bring himself to stay in this place. He had fulfilled his promise to Albus. No more was expected of him. Hogwarts would find another Potions professor, just as they would find another headmaster. A pang shot through him. He hadn't imagined he'd see the day when there would be a different headmaster. Albus Dumbledore had seemed so... constant. He had actually let himself believe that the old wizard would always be there, like some childhood folly.
A bitter laugh escaped his lips, and he gathered his cloak more tightly about himself. The winter wind whipped around him, howling mournfully. But in his mind, he only heard the screams of the dead.
He shook his head violently, trying to dispel the horrid memories that threatened to once again overwhelm him. He had to get out of here, or his memories would drive him insane. His pace quickened.
Minerva watched the speck of black move steadily across the courtyard to the gates. Severus Snape had been a loyal professor, ever since his return from the darker side of magic. She shuddered to think of the terrible deeds he had done. But that life was behind him, at least physically. She knew, as did any other professor, that his past still haunted him.
"God speed," she whispered softly. It was a Muggle phrase, she knew, but still, she felt its purpose was never more direly needed. "God speed," she repeated, watching as yet another Hogwarts professor disappeared from her life. Somehow, she knew she would not see him again.
END PROLOGUE