Chapter 2
Without realizing it, Katan has moved with his lips, he had really spoken out his last thoughts. And he even didn't notice the present, that appeared behind him. Still in lost in his thoughts, he whispered his questions, gazed up in the deep black sky, there where he know could be either paradise or hell. He watched the blinking stars whispering questions he knew he wouldn't get answered. Neither from God- if he really existed- nor from anyone else. Then he looked down, down on the street, down this really big building where he was standing on the top of. And he saw all this movements of the people, which seemed to be as little as ants. The felt secure in there little world, but they where just some stump little marionettes of powers, they couldn't even imagine. A tortured smile flushed over Katan´s face, as he thought of how little the most human beings really knew. In fact, they were liers, all together. The said that they'd believe in god, but they didn't accept the rules he one gave them. They murdered each other, they damaged their mother earth with every breath they did more and more, and soon the earth won't exist anymore. And there was nearly no true love anywhere. He could understand Rosiel, why he wanted them to be destroyed at least. Because they did not know how special it was, each of their lives. It was a present from God, he gave them their bodies, their souls, their chance to live and to do good to all the others they had to live with. But for them lives doesn't mean anything. It was just worthless. And to see how they throw this wonderful, special gift away really hurted him. It hurted him deep in his heart. Katan sighed. He wouldn't be able to help them. And though if he had been able, he wouldn't have done it. "Dear, god, please, talk to me. " He paused, as if he waited for any answer. "Answer me!" he cried very concerned. He paused again, but longer this time. But nothing happened. Katan felt how anger raised in him. He made fists out of his hands, and shouted: "Forgive or damn me it does´ matter, but please, just tell me is this your plan? To start a battle against the best and purest beings? A war where angels fight against angels? The destruction of the world, of the beings you created after your ideal? Will you let this end in a bloody, senseless murdering?" He whispered nearly toneless sticking his hands together again like if he was going to pray. There was a silence around him now, and though this silence, he realized another aura around him. He looked up surprised. But did not turn around yet. "Who are you talking to?" He heard a very familiar voice behind him. Katan zuckte zusammen. And then he suddenly turned round. "Rosial-sama!" he whispered, and repeated it then with a normal voice. "Answer my question!" Rosiel said with a very hard sounding tone in his voice. "No.. nobody." Katan answered quickly, but he did not feel well by doing it. It was like Rosiel could look through him, as if he exactly knew, what Katan was thinking of. "It sounded like you prayed to him." Rosiel said, an his voice sounded very strange and dangerous, as he gave a short look up to the sky, before his cold, grey eyes locked again with Katan´s. It was a look, that got fully through Katan. "No. I didn´t pray." Katan insisted, but in fact he didn´t even seemed to be convinced of this by himself. Rosiel did a few steps towards Katan. " I ´ve heard lots of the things you´ve said." He began, but now his voice has changed completely. It wasn´t as cold as before any more, no, in the opposite, it was warm, it was full of understanding. "I can imagine, how you feel. You are not sure if you are doing the right thing. But you also know, that you will fight by my side, if you´ll have to. You ´re scared of what will happen. And you´re afraid, that we could lose, that I could be arrested until eternity again and that you won´t be there any longer to rescue me.". He paused and stared at Katan very long. Then he did a last few steps towards him, and laid his arms on Katan´s shoulders. "That´s nothing, I will blame you for. Those feelings are normal. You are an angel. One of the purest beings that god ever created. It´s just natural that you feel sick about thinking of blood, fight and murdering." Then suddenly Rosiel embarrassed Katan, before keeping on speaking. "I trust you, Katan. And you have to trust me." "But I do trust you." "I know. But although you have doubts." He let go of Katan, and turned around. "And as long as you have these doubts you will not be able to trust me and to believe in me, as I do. I know, what I am doing, Katan, and I want you by my side, whatever will happen, you understand?" Katan nodded without saying anything. "Well, good." Rosiel made a little gesture, which showed Katan that he should follow him. When they left the top of the building, Katan froze one moment. He had heard something. It was just a little voice, not more than an little whisper. But it was there. deep inside of himself he could hear it. A whisper in his heart, that would give him the answer, if he would be prepared to get it. But yet, he wasn´t. he didn´t listen to it. He just went on, hurried up an bit, to reach Rosiel again, who walked a few meters in front of him now.
"Your depts will be forgiven." The wind blew from the top of the building. "if you just follow your heart."
Without realizing it, Katan has moved with his lips, he had really spoken out his last thoughts. And he even didn't notice the present, that appeared behind him. Still in lost in his thoughts, he whispered his questions, gazed up in the deep black sky, there where he know could be either paradise or hell. He watched the blinking stars whispering questions he knew he wouldn't get answered. Neither from God- if he really existed- nor from anyone else. Then he looked down, down on the street, down this really big building where he was standing on the top of. And he saw all this movements of the people, which seemed to be as little as ants. The felt secure in there little world, but they where just some stump little marionettes of powers, they couldn't even imagine. A tortured smile flushed over Katan´s face, as he thought of how little the most human beings really knew. In fact, they were liers, all together. The said that they'd believe in god, but they didn't accept the rules he one gave them. They murdered each other, they damaged their mother earth with every breath they did more and more, and soon the earth won't exist anymore. And there was nearly no true love anywhere. He could understand Rosiel, why he wanted them to be destroyed at least. Because they did not know how special it was, each of their lives. It was a present from God, he gave them their bodies, their souls, their chance to live and to do good to all the others they had to live with. But for them lives doesn't mean anything. It was just worthless. And to see how they throw this wonderful, special gift away really hurted him. It hurted him deep in his heart. Katan sighed. He wouldn't be able to help them. And though if he had been able, he wouldn't have done it. "Dear, god, please, talk to me. " He paused, as if he waited for any answer. "Answer me!" he cried very concerned. He paused again, but longer this time. But nothing happened. Katan felt how anger raised in him. He made fists out of his hands, and shouted: "Forgive or damn me it does´ matter, but please, just tell me is this your plan? To start a battle against the best and purest beings? A war where angels fight against angels? The destruction of the world, of the beings you created after your ideal? Will you let this end in a bloody, senseless murdering?" He whispered nearly toneless sticking his hands together again like if he was going to pray. There was a silence around him now, and though this silence, he realized another aura around him. He looked up surprised. But did not turn around yet. "Who are you talking to?" He heard a very familiar voice behind him. Katan zuckte zusammen. And then he suddenly turned round. "Rosial-sama!" he whispered, and repeated it then with a normal voice. "Answer my question!" Rosiel said with a very hard sounding tone in his voice. "No.. nobody." Katan answered quickly, but he did not feel well by doing it. It was like Rosiel could look through him, as if he exactly knew, what Katan was thinking of. "It sounded like you prayed to him." Rosiel said, an his voice sounded very strange and dangerous, as he gave a short look up to the sky, before his cold, grey eyes locked again with Katan´s. It was a look, that got fully through Katan. "No. I didn´t pray." Katan insisted, but in fact he didn´t even seemed to be convinced of this by himself. Rosiel did a few steps towards Katan. " I ´ve heard lots of the things you´ve said." He began, but now his voice has changed completely. It wasn´t as cold as before any more, no, in the opposite, it was warm, it was full of understanding. "I can imagine, how you feel. You are not sure if you are doing the right thing. But you also know, that you will fight by my side, if you´ll have to. You ´re scared of what will happen. And you´re afraid, that we could lose, that I could be arrested until eternity again and that you won´t be there any longer to rescue me.". He paused and stared at Katan very long. Then he did a last few steps towards him, and laid his arms on Katan´s shoulders. "That´s nothing, I will blame you for. Those feelings are normal. You are an angel. One of the purest beings that god ever created. It´s just natural that you feel sick about thinking of blood, fight and murdering." Then suddenly Rosiel embarrassed Katan, before keeping on speaking. "I trust you, Katan. And you have to trust me." "But I do trust you." "I know. But although you have doubts." He let go of Katan, and turned around. "And as long as you have these doubts you will not be able to trust me and to believe in me, as I do. I know, what I am doing, Katan, and I want you by my side, whatever will happen, you understand?" Katan nodded without saying anything. "Well, good." Rosiel made a little gesture, which showed Katan that he should follow him. When they left the top of the building, Katan froze one moment. He had heard something. It was just a little voice, not more than an little whisper. But it was there. deep inside of himself he could hear it. A whisper in his heart, that would give him the answer, if he would be prepared to get it. But yet, he wasn´t. he didn´t listen to it. He just went on, hurried up an bit, to reach Rosiel again, who walked a few meters in front of him now.
"Your depts will be forgiven." The wind blew from the top of the building. "if you just follow your heart."