Disclaimer: Nope, last time I looked in a mirror I wasn't James Cameron or anyone else lucky enough to own Dark Angel.
Summary: Sequel to "Then it comes to be." The cult loonies are gone but the transgenics have other problems to deal with, not to mention a whole civilization to build. M/A
Rating: R because of occasional violence and sex.
A/N: The NC-17 version of this story is posted at http://nunswithpens.hyperboards.com/.
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Lydecker leaned back in the chair in Alec's office and stared reflectively at the buff-coloured folder. He fiddled with his cell phone in one hand, turning it end over end, while the fingers of his other hand drummed rhythmically on the desk.
In front of him on Alec's desk lay the proof that his kids were playing a very dangerous game. More dangerous perhaps than they realized. The government wanted the target dead, not merely out of the picture. Did they really think they could just smuggle the man out of the country under an assumed name, and no one would be the wiser?
*A year out of Manticore and they think they know it all.* He snorted. *They need me, damn it, to navigate their way through the political waters. But will they admit that? Hell no.* He seethed with anger as he remembered the humiliating way they'd ignored him while planning this little subterfuge of theirs. Once upon a time they'd jumped to attention at the mere mention of his name. Now they ignored him as if he were old and useless, with nothing to contribute.
Witherspoon would gladly put him back in control if asked. But he'd do it at gunpoint, and he would kill a lot of them just to prove his point. And then he and the committee would be there, always at Deck's shoulder, tugging on the reins of power.
Did the world really need another Manticore? How long would his kids survive without it?
You play with fire, you're going to get burned.
The harsh ring of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts. Hesitantly Deck brought the phone to his ear, his mind still flip-flopping between the desire for power and the need to protect his kids. Lydecker.
Looks like your intuition was wrong, Colonel, Witherspoon said jovially.
Sir?
I've just been informed by our team on the ground that the target has been eliminated. Maybe you don't know your kids as well as you think you do, hmm?
Lydecker stared at the open file in front of him, and grudgingly realized Witherspoon spoke the truth, even though he didn't realize it. *The target HAS been eliminated as a threat.*
Yes, he agreed. As you say, the mission was successful.
The committee appreciates your warning, even though it proved to be unnecessary. Loyalty does not go unrewarded. Witherspoon hung up before Lydecker could form a reply.
"Good choice," Alec said calmly from the shadows.
Startled, Lydecker's head snapped up at the unexpected sound of Alec's voice. He threw himself out of the chair and spun around. Alec stood in the doorway, blocking Deck's retreat. The transgenic crossed his arms and cocked his head to one side. He was watching Deck with a polite smile on his lips, but it didn't touch his eyes.
Deck mastered his shock and adopted an equally blank expression. "You disobeyed a direct order."
"Sometimes orders are wrong. Sometimes they need to be disobeyed." Alec's eyes bored into Lydecker's. The ghost of Rachel Berrisford seemed to hang between them.
Lydecker went on the offensive. "What do you think Witherspoon is going to do when he discovers you double-crossed him?"
Alec shrugged, unconcerned. "The police will identify the body as that of James Miller. So the only way Witherspoon will know the truth is if you tell him. That makes you a liability."
Deck shivered at the bluntness of Alec's words. For the first time, he was actually afraid of one of his kids. As he'd told Witherspoon, this wasn't Manticore. There were no friendly guards outside the door, ready with tazers and the threat of solitary confinement, or worse, Psy Ops. There was only him and Alec, and Alec's hatred.
Alec's eyes glinted with morbid amusement, as if he could hear the thoughts running through Deck's mind. "I think it's time we talked about your role here, Deck. We know Witherspoon expects you to take over sooner or later. And knowing you, you're just itching for the chance. But it isn't going to happen. We won't be your playthings again."
"The government has a vested interest in you. But only if they believe they are in control. Without me, your position is precarious." Deck forced his voice to remain flat and even, with no trace of the fear that churned in his stomach.
"Maybe. Maybe not." Alec's calm voice belied the predatory look in his eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, public opinion is changing. We're no longer the monster under the bed."
"You really think the public is going to accept you?" Deck asked in disbelief.
"No. But they may learn to tolerate our existence."
Deck snorted. "Public opinion is a thin shield to hide behind."
"But it'll do for now. Manticore will never exist again. Accept it. The government will, as long as they get what they want. So tell me why we need you."
Although there was no outward sign of it, Deck knew that Alec's muscles were tensed and coiled, like a hunting cat's before it pounces on its prey. He shifted so that his weight was evenly balanced on both feet, knowing even as he did so that he'd never be able to defend himself against the X-5. His eyes never left Alec's. "I have contacts-"
"So do a lot of people," Alec interrupted, thinking of Logan. If everything went according to plan, they'd never have to rely on the hacker again. Provided, of course, that he could keep Deck from stabbing them in the back. "Right now, you're more trouble than you're worth."
"I have answers to questions about your DNA that you haven't even thought to ask yet." Deck could only hope that was still true and that they hadn't yet tracked down Sandeman. From what he'd seen in the medical records, he thought he had a fair chance of bargaining his knowledge for his life.
"Ah, now we're talking." Alec relaxed marginally. "I'm offering you a compromise. A seat at the table, under MY terms, or you're gone."
"And what are your terms, exactly?"
"Isn't it obvious? Pick a side and stick to it. Don't try to play both ends against the middle. You can't defeat us and you can't outsmart us. So play nice."
"You kids are my life," Deck said softly.
Alec snorted. "Don't get all teary-eyed on me, Deck. This isn't a Hollywood movie." He leaned forward menacingly. "Everyone's entitled to one mistake. Warning Witherspoon was yours. Betray us again, and you'll get a first-hand taste of reindoctrination."
Lydecker flinched and instinctively recoiled from the venom in Alec's voice. Alec advanced into the room and Lydecker shifted position, keeping the bulk of the desk between him and Alec. It was a futile gesture and he knew it, since it would barely slow Alec's charge, but hope springs eternal in the human heart.
Alec bared his teeth in a wolfish grin, amused by Lydecker's feeble attempts to prolong what he obviously feared might be his last few seconds of life. *Deck really doesn't know us half as well as he thinks he does.*
Alec threw himself into his desk chair, tilting it backwards at a dangerous angle as he propped his legs on the desk. He cocked his head towards the open door in a clear dismissal. Lydecker gaped at him in surprise and then summoned his dignity and walked slowly across the room. Alec could tell by the stiffness in his neck and shoulders that Lydecker was anticipating a surprise attack while his back was turned.
Alec had never revelled in other people's fear, which he often thought was the fundamental difference between him and his psychotic twin, but still he had to admit it was gratifying to see that fear in Lydecker now. For twenty years the Colonel had held their lives in his hands, to use or shatter as he saw fit. The tables had turned so swiftly and completely that it was dizzying. They were no longer his slaves. They were finally free.
Freedom. It was a strange and elusive thing. Yeah, they were free from Manticore, free to command their own lives, free to discover who and what they wanted to be. But they were still on the outside of things, still confined to base. Tolerating something and embracing it are two very different things. There would never be a transhuman drill team marching proudly down Fifth Avenue.
And yet, he wouldn't exchange the precariousness and uncertainty of their lives for the dubious shelter Manticore had offered. None of them would. They had names now, not just numbers, and a place to call their own in this world. It was all anyone could reasonably ask for out of life. It was more than they deserved, and at the same time, the very least of what they were owed.
Alec yawned and decided it was much too late at night to be pondering the great mysteries of life, destiny, and happiness. He sifted through the damning evidence of their counterplot, automatically ticking each item off on a mental list to make certain none had walked out the door with Lydecker. Satisfied they were all present and accounted for, he swept them off his desk and into the garbage, reminding himself to burn them in the morning.
The only item left on his desk was a folded-over scrap of paper. Curious, he flipped it open to reveal a message scrawled in Dix's messy handwriting. Leda wants to see you.
Alec went still as stone and stared at the five simple words that had the power to change his world. They seemed to leap off the page at him and dance before his eyes. He fiddled with the sheet, turning it this way and that, as if it were an omen he could decipher if only he found the right way to read it.
Temptation bit hard. It was late. It would be so easy to wait until morning and keep Max for one last night before either of them had to face the fact that she now had a choice.
*Coward,* he mocked himself bitterly. *What are you so afraid of? You've been on intimate terms with Grief and Loss for years now. Pain and Loneliness are practically your brothers. So get it over already. Rip the band aid off with one swift yank.*
He sighed once and then forced his body into motion. He tossed the crumpled note into the garbage and marched resolutely out of his office and across Terminal City. The windows of the infirmary blazed with light, beckoning him to his fate. He hesitated for a heartbeat on the doorstep, and then forced himself inside.
Leda was hunched over her microscope, peering intently at whatever was on the slide. Whole sections of her hair had spilled from her ponytail to fall untidily around her face. She impatiently blew a strand out of her eyes in a puff of air. She seemed impossibly young to have solved the riddle of the love bug virus.
"I got your message," Alec said quietly, his voice bland and carefully controlled.
Leda looked up and nodded. She watched him for several seconds in silence before twisting around on her stool to reach behind her for a small syringe. She held it out to Alec, her expression solemn.
Despite knowing it was coming, Alec was still taken aback to see it right in front of him. "You found it already? It's been what, 3 days?" Even as he asked the question he knew he was stalling.
"Less. What can I say? I'm smarter than the average bear." Leda saw Alec hesitate in the act of reaching out, his arm straying only a few inches from his side. "Do you want me to give it to her?" she asked gently.
"No." His arm snapped up and he took the syringe from her outstretched hand. He shoved it in his jacket pocket and spun on his heel to leave, but he paused with his hand on the doorknob. "You sure it'll work?" he asked without turning around.
"Yeah. It'll work. No more imminent death on contact."
He nodded once, and then marched out of the infirmary. Without thinking about it he headed across TC to the solitude of his office. He shut his office door softly and then collapsed into his chair. He set the syringe precisely in the middle of his desk and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on the edge of the desk, and stared at the answer to all Max's prayers.
His trance was disturbed by the sound of Max calling his name softly. Whether it was a long while or a short while later, Alec didn't know. He scooped up the syringe and hid it in his jacket pocket, and then slid out of his office to join her in the hallway.
"I take it our friend made it safely to the border?"
"Yeah," Max answered dully.
Alec pulled her into a loose embrace. "Hey, what's with the frown?"
Max sidestepped the question. "I need to go for a drive. Come with me?"
He knew without being told that she wanted to stand on the top of the Needle, needing the perspective its great height always brought to her problems. He nodded and fell into step beside her. It was only fitting that the High Place should serve as the backdrop for this. They'd forged their friendship there. It was where they'd both gone to mourn their losses and lick their wounds. Where they'd found a measure of peace, and someone to share their burdens with.
Max drove them on her Ninja. Alec wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes, and lost himself in the sensation of her body pressed tightly against his, probably for the last time. Neither spoke as they trooped up the stairs. Max sank down onto the cold metal, but Alec paced nervously along the rim, staring out at the city.
She sighed and hugged her knees to her chest. "Tonight sucked."
Alec glanced over his shoulder at her. "You have a strange definition of sucks. We saved an innocent man's life tonight. I think that counts as a victory."
"Is this what our lives are gonna be? Cross and double-cross, always trying to stay 3 steps ahead of Witherspoon?"
"Well, it shouldn't be too hard considering we're twice as smart as him. Look on the bright side, Max. At least we're not enemies of the state anymore."
"Yeah, I suppose," she said glumly. "It still sucks."
"Don't tell me you prefer your crappy, minimum wage job to this. Cuz if that's what it is, I could toss in a few 'bip bip bips' now and then."
"Don't even think about it," she warned with a small smile on her lips.
Alec stuck his hands in his pockets and fingered the syringe. He looked over at her, his expression serious.
Max sensed the shift in his mood. She cocked her head and examined him, trying to read his expression in the dim starlight. "Alec, talk to me. Something's up."
Rather than answer, he simply pulled the syringe out of his pocket and held it towards her on his open palm as an offering.
She stared at it, and then slowly rose to her feet and walked over to join him, her eyes never leaving his hand. "The cure?" she whispered in disbelief. Her face was blank with shock. "How did you…Where did you…" Her voice trailed off. She wondered if somehow she'd fallen asleep and this was only a dream, like all the others that had plagued her sleep for months after returning for Manticore. She and Logan had searched for this for so long, waiting and hoping and praying for this moment, that it felt unreal. "How?" she whispered.
"Leda's been working on it."
Alec's voice sounded like it came from far away. *Leda? Leda found the cure?* she thought in disbelief. She nearly slapped her forehead at her own stupidity. *Duh. She was trained by Manticore. Why didn't we think of that? All those months searching for a human tech, when she was right in front of us. God, what a waste.*
"You asked her to," she said. It was a statement, not a question. Finally she looked up at him, confusion clearly written in her eyes. "Why did you do this?"
"Don't you want it?" he asked, dodging her question with his own.
"Well, yeah. The world's a better place with Eyes Only in it, and I don't want to kill him if we accidentally touch." Her eyes lit up with genuine delight as the reality of it finally penetrated her muddled brain. She smiled as the tears slid down her face, not knowing whether to cry in relief or laugh with glee. With this cure, Logan's would be one less death she'd have on her head. One less life she'd be held accountable for.
"Thank you for doing this," she whispered. She reached out with one trembling hand and took the syringe from him. She curled her fingers around it and clutched it close to her chest.
Alec felt his heart splinter at the look of joy and relief in her eyes. He turned away, back towards the city lights, but he couldn't see them through the tears that filled his eyes and threatened to spill down his face. *Soldier's don't cry,* he told himself fiercely. He took a deep breath and forced his voice steady. "I'll find my own way home."
"What?" Max said, baffled. Her head whipped up to look at Alec.
"Well, don't you want to go to him? Now that you can?"
Max could see that his entire body was tense, as if he were bracing himself against a blow he knew was coming but couldn't see. It didn't make any sense to her. *What the hell is going on? Why does he look so afraid?*, she wondered. *Doesn't he know things are over between me and Logan? Or is there something else he's not telling me?*
She looked at him in bewilderment. Alec was usually so easy to read, but for once she had no idea what he was feeling. "I'm not in love with him. That's not what this is about." But her confusion made her voice more tentative than that sort of denial required.
Alec flinched at her tone, mistaking her confusion for a lack of conviction. He refused to turn and look at her, not wanting to see her make her choice and walk away.
"Alec, I mean it. I'm in love with YOU, not him." Suddenly something terrible occurred to her, a thought so horrid that it left her weak and trembling. Maybe Alec was tired of her. Maybe he didn't really love her, didn't want to be with her, and giving her the cure was his way of telling her to go be with Logan. She trembled and choked back a sob.
"Is this some kind of a message?" She swallowed hard and forced the words out past the lump in her throat. "Do you want me to go back to him? Is that what this is all about?"
He hunched over as if he'd been punched in the stomach. He whirled around and looked at her, his eyes wide with panic. "No!" he whimpered. "The thought of you with him kills me."
Relief coursed through her and stilled her trembling. Anger followed in its wake. "Then why?" she demanded.
He shrugged. "It's complicated."
"So explain it to me." She planted her hands on her hips to keep from reaching out and shaking him. She could see him closing down, shutting her out. It terrified her. "Don't slam the door on me, Alec. Let me in. Tell me what's going on."
Alec dropped his gaze and ran a nervous hand through his hair. He sighed and then said in a deadened voice, "if I'm gonna lose you, I'd rather see it coming. I don't wanna wake up every morning wondering if today's the day you're gonna leave me. It's killing me."
She gaped at him, shocked that he harboured such doubts. She opened to mouth to voice an automatic denial, but no words came out. With a flash of guilt she admitted to herself that she'd never given him a reason not to expect the worst. The truth was she'd always been a bitch to him. No wonder he had difficulty believing that she truly loved him for himself. After several long seconds she finally found her voice. "I'm not going anywhere, Alec. I finally found my home. I love you."
"Why? Why do you love me? Cuz I can't figure it out. I'm a screw up. A mistake." He stared at her, his eyes haunted and dark with pain.
Max closed her eyes against the self-loathing in his voice as he tossed her words back at her. All the insults she showered at him echoed in her head, hammering at her. Can't you do anything right? You're a screw-up. A mistake. I'm sorry I inflicted you on the world.
Hot tears of shame filled her eyes and flowed unchecked down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Alec. Oh god, I'm so sorry." Her heart felt like it would break. She'd wounded him terribly, poisoned him against himself, and all because she'd been too afraid to admit her feelings for him. The words she should have said came pouring out of her in a torrent.
"I had no right to call you that. God knows I've made more mistakes than you have. You are NOT a screw-up, or a mistake. I was wrong. You are the strongest, sweetest, best person I know. No one else could hold us together and make it work."
He shook his head in denial but she cut across before he could voice an objection. "No, damn it, listen to me," she insisted. "You've always been there. You've saved my life more times than I can count. No matter what stupid thing I did, you were there to watch my back and save my ass. You've never let me lie to myself. You've always forced me to face the truth. Even when I didn't want to hear it."
Alec's gaze remained stubbornly fixed on his shoes. She moved closer and laid her hands on either side of his face, forcing him to look at her, forcing herself to meet his eyes when all she wanted to do was run away in shame. "I love you. You take me for what I am. You've never asked me to change, become someone else. Do you know how precious that is? I do."
She gave him a tremulous smile. "I can't promise you I won't get hurt or killed. Our lives are too dangerous for that. But I promise I will never walk away. How could I? You complete me."
Alec crushed her to him and buried his face in her hair. She burrowed into his arms, not caring in the least that his embrace threatened to crack her ribs. She turned her head and pressed her wet cheek against his. "I love you," she repeated. "I choose you."
She felt his body shudder at her words and she whimpered softly, her guilt like a scourge inside, hot and painful. He stroked her hair, offering her comfort even in the midst of his own pain. Putting her needs before his, as always. *I don't deserve such a gift.* She clutched him tighter.
The moon travelled the sky while they held onto each other.
Much later he pulled away. Gently he reached for her hand and turned it palm up. Her fingers uncurled to reveal the syringe. Dark eyes met hazel.
"I don't need it," she said softly. "I'm not going back to him. Throw it away."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "Seattle needs Eyes Only."
She anxiously scanned his face. The pain had faded from his eyes. Whether he believed her or not she couldn't tell, but it was clear he'd found a measure of peace. She nodded slowly and then shrugged out of her jacket and pushed up the sleeve. Alec took the syringe from her and uncapped it. They both watched as the sharp point pricked the thin skin of her elbow. She sighed softly as the cure slid into her vein.
She held out her hand and Alec and linked his fingers in hers.
"Take me home," she whispered.
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A/N: And that's it folks. AtC is now officially COMPLETE. Maybe someday I'll come back to it (if and when inspiration strikes) but for now it's done. Thanks to everyone who read this, and particularly to those who reviewed. You guys are great!
And don't forget, for more great fics check out NWP!!!