Disclaimer:
Don't own 'em!
Author's Note:
This chapter was written mostly inspired/accompanied whilst listening to Houran No Himitsu from Saiyuki. If you can, try to get a hold on the song. Really nice!
Sorry if the characters seem OOC [out of character]. I'm trying my best to keep them the way they are.
Don't know if I should change the rating though. But anyways... on with the story.
~~~
Sanzo being the driver, Hakkai took his place behind with Gojyo so that if needed to, he could rest more comfortably. The other reason was also to prevent Gojyo and Goku to launch into another one of their rackets. Gojyo told Hakkai that if he needed to, he could lie down but refused. "Iie, Gojyo!" he would reply smiling sheepishly. "Seriously, I'm fine. You've done more than enough for me. I think it is you who needs rest since you hadn't any proper sleep". Sanzo occasionally scrutinized on the two of them through the mirror. At one point, he couldn't stand the little coy game they were playing. Whether or not they were aware, he thought of it as plain pathetic. "Ahem..." Sanzo cleared his throat silencing the two of them. Goku as usual was oblivious to what was happening.
Throughout their journey, Hakkai spent most of his time staring at the passing scenery, quietly drowning himself in his own thoughts. Sporadically he'd close his eyes to regain his strength, napping until at one point or another he was woken up by one of the two 'juveniles'. Goku, whining about his empty stomach, only to be quieted each time by Sanzo's paper fan. As for Gojyo, he screeched at the near deaths he was experiencing when Sanzo almost collided into trees and huge boulders. Complaining at how inexpertly he was handling the jeep.
When Sanzo couldn't take anymore of Gojyo's constant nagging, he stopped the jeep and proceeded to whack Gojyo with his paper fan. Not satisfied, Sanzo pulled out his gun and aimed at Gojyo's head. He shot once purposely missing his ear by an inch and said, "The next one will go through you head if you don't keep your fucking comments to yourself!" Goku only instigated the situation even more by teasing Gojyo. Hakkai watched them fight through blurry eyes. His head was now throbbing from all the noise. He requested his friends to stop arguing but no one seemed to be listening. With no other way out, he quietly asked Hakuryu to transform back into his little dragon form.
With one 'Kyu' accepting his orders from his master, Hakuryu changed; all four of them fell to the ground. "Oww... why did you do that for Hakkai?" Goku rubbed his aching bottom. Sanzo and Gojyo furiously glared at Hakkai. "Sanzo coulda pulled the trigger 'accidentally' and shot my frikin' head you know that??" Gojyo yelled. "Gomen nasai... ", Hakkai replied without any effort, plastering his famous smile. He rubbed that back of his head with one hand and explained, "I had no choice seeing as none of you were listening to me. And because I didn't have enough strength to shout... I had to resort to other measures," he grinned at them, trying not to show how much his head was hurting him to speak.
Sanzo dusted the sand off his robes as he got up. "Let's go!" he ordered. Violet eyes burning with anger, his lips pressed together into one thin line. Hakuryu immediately transformed back into the jeep. Hakkai wobbly trying to stand, blood gushed to his head causing him to see stars. He almost lost his grip and fell whilst climbing into the jeep only to be saved when a hand caught hold of his, pulling Hakkai back into the jeep. He looked surprisingly at Gojyo and thanked him in return. For the rest of the trip the foursome kept quiet, allowing Hakkai to rest slouching in his own seat. He knew that Sanzo was disappointed in him, after all the trouble he'd caused them. Their journey was delayed more than enough as it is. He had really done it after the last stunt he pulled, asking Hakuryu to transform without giving any prior notice to the rest.
With the Gods on their side, for once at least, it didn't rain as Gojyo predicted it to be. However, it wasn't a sunny day either. Just clouds, clouds and more clouds following them, threatening to rain at anytime. It took them the entire day to finally reach the next town. Once checked in, Hakkai wished his traveling mates good night and headed straight for the bedroom he and Gojyo shared for that night. Hakkai yearned for a comfortable bed, to ease his tensed and aching muscles. Knowing what's best for him, Hakkai plopped onto his bed. With only enough strength to remove his shoes, he curled up and knocked out instantly. Falling into a dreamless sleep.
Downstairs in the inn's diner was Goku, Gojyo and Sanzo. Filling up his stomach to his heart's content, Goku was bloated with almost all the food they ordered. He burped to announce that he was finished, Goku made his and his bulging stomach's way up to his room. Gojyo and Sanzo barely ate, most of the time Sanzo looked at Gojyo suspiciously. "What are you and your droopy eyes looking at?" Gojyo took a drag from his cigarette and blew it into Sanzo's face. The monk turned his gaze away and looked at the inviting bar. He didn't answer Gojyo's question, but instead got up and made his way to have a drink. Gojyo joined him a while later, sitting two seats away from Sanzo. The two of them quietly drank and smoked the next couple of hours away, occupying their time in their own thoughts.
"Hey!" a slightly blushing monk had moved to sit next to Gojyo. "What?" Gojyo eyes now half-lidded. Sanzo didn't reply but asked the bartender to pour him another drink. Another hour passed with only the two of them left in the bar... still drinking. "You have a... thing for Hakkai?" the monk suddenly asked. "Huh?" Gojyo asked in a daze. Sanzo pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. Looking blindly for his lighter, Gojyo flicked his own in front of Sanzo, waiting for him to light it. Sanzo took a drag from his cigarette and pursued with his question.
"Do you have feelings for him, you stupid *hic* kappa? Such an easy question you can't even understand," Sanzo asked irritably.
"I'm not stupid okay! That's what your pet is there for. I know what you meant, just... " Gojyo stopped midway of his sentence, unsure of what he was going to say.
"Just what? Didn't think I'd notice?" Sanzo hiccupped again and was now swaying in the barstool.
"What's it to you anyway? Even if I 'did' have anything for him... " Gojyo sighed. "It's not like he would return my... Why am I telling a corrupt monk this for?"
Sanzo closed his eyes as he fell off his seat. Gojyo quickly caught him and lifted him up. Placing one hand around the monk's waist and one of the other's hands around his own neck, Gojyo dragged Sanzo up the stairs. Muttering to himself about how monk's can be so stupid sometimes. "Can't even control his liquor... and then ask me stupid questions. Shit! Damn you Sanzo." Sanzo groaned back at him sleepily.
After placing Sanzo on the bed next to Goku, Gojyo closed their room door and leaned against it for a moment. Thinking about what Sanzo had said. "Ch..." He made his way to the room he shared with Hakkai. He opened the door, squeaking as it moved and quickly closed it quietly. He turned around hoping he didn't wake his friend up, but saw him sitting on his bed, staring at the window outside. It had started to pour.
"Oh, you're awake!" Gojyo walked towards Hakkai's bed and sat down next to him.
Startled at the voice, he answered Gojyo with a smile, "Yes, I had been sleeping for quite awhile now. In fact, I have been sleeping almost the whole day and now I feel quite restless."
Gojyo had many questions for him. He wondered what had happened the last couple of days. Why he had such a nightmarish dream. What was his dream? Why did he say it was his fault when he clearly knew it wasn't? However, the redhead just sat there silently. He didn't know where to begin. Or even how to begin in the first place.
"What's wrong?" he asked finally.
"Hmm? Nothing!" saying it as though he'd practiced that line a couple of hundred times.
"Stop playing games with me. I know you too well... besides, I would have to be blind if I didn't notice something's been brewing in your mind"
"....." Silent. He sat silently not moving, not blinking... perhaps not even breathing.
"Hey? You heard me didn't you?!" he pressed on.
"....." Silent again.
Gojyo rolled his eyes, then got up to stand in front of Hakkai. Hands on his hips, he tapped his foot impatiently, indicating that he was waiting. His anger building. Gojyo had a very short temper, hence why he could act really childishly with Goku at times. "Is it really that difficult for you to-"
"I'm sorry Gojyo... " He looked up at the other seriously "I just... can't!"
"I can't believe this. I just can't believe this!" he raised his voice a little. "Fine. Wonder why should I even bother with you sometimes. Some friendship we have going on here isn't it. I hate it when you do this to me!" Gojyo stomped his way out of the room, slamming the door behind him in rage.
"You've really done it this time. First Sanzo, now Gojyo. Who's next? Goku? You stupid idiot" Hakkai spoke to the empty room, quietly smiling to himself. But it wasn't a happy smile. Nor was it the fake ones he wore constantly. It was a smile mocking his stupidity. He felt a knot in his throat; his chest and shoulders grow heavier. He knew Gojyo wouldn't stay mad at him forever. He knew once the tensed air around them died; Gojyo would eventually behave as though nothing had happened. Even though he has done this to him a couple of times before, how many more times will Gojyo leave him off the hook? How many more times would they have to go through this before their friendship take a turn for the worse? How many more times is he going to hurt his friend until it's too late?
Upon reaching the front door of the inn, Gojyo grab the knob and jerked the door open roughly, only to be greeted with the slight showers of the rain that flew in his direction. "Damn it!" he muttered. He needed to go for a walk, to get away and blow off some steam. He stepped out into the porch looking around him, the shop sitting opposite the inn a few meters away barely visible. Clenching his hand into a ball, he punched one of the brick walls protecting the inn's front. The paint and cement cracked, crumbling to the floor. He slammed the same fist again, dangerously creating more cracks. Afraid the wall would collapse if he continued, he stopped. Only realizing later the pain that started to crawl up his arm. The skin on his knuckles split, blood trickled from the cuts mixing with the dust particles originally from the now vandalized wall.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Gojyo sat on the steps that lead into the inn, his shoes drenching from the long continuous droplets of the rain than ran from the edge of the roof. He placed his wounded hand under one of the thin streams, flinching as the cool water washed away the traces of blood, at the same time numbing the pain with its coolness. Placing his hands on either side of his head, he stared down at the floor between his legs. Watching the drops of rain bounce in random directions.
He thought about Hakkai. The way he always hid behind a mask. Smiling that idiotic smile every time, covering up his true feelings. Gojyo hated it with a vengeance. Gojyo never demanded anything from Hakkai. He never needed to. Even though he'd taken him in, given him back a life he didn't want and more, he still never asked Hakkai for any favors. He couldn't blame him though. Hakkai never asked to be rescued either.
On tear escaped his eye, joining the rest of the tears the sky shed. He gritted his teeth, feeling the anger pass over him again. Chest and face hot with fury, regardless of the coldness he was in. He struck the side of the same fist against the pillar next to him. This time more tears flowed from the corner of his eyes. It wasn't tears from the pain he inflicted upon himself. But a pain that hurt deeper. A pain that pierced through his heart like a knife slicing it every time he thought about it. Every time he wondered why his friend never fully trusted him. 'What does it take?' he pondered.
He couldn't hate Hakkai forever. Actually, he couldn't hold any grudges towards him for long. No matter how much his best annoyed him at times, he still had a soft spot for him. He is still his best friend. Someone he confides his feelings and problems with more than anyone before. The last thing he'd wanted was to have another argument with him. Especially not in his current vulnerable condition. All Gojyo wanted was to prove that he was capable of being 'there' for him. To be Hakkai's crying shoulder, albeit giving advice wasn't his forte. Maybe it was just an excuse for Gojyo. "Yeah, maybe it's just an excuse to prove to myself I'm worth something to someone" he sighed at his pathetic self.
He thought about his past. About his stepmother. How he had tried everyday to please her but was only scolded in return. Her tears flowing, showing him how much he pained her. He tried to prove to her that he wasn't as bad as she thought he was. Giving her flowers, helping her in the kitchen... asking her for forgiveness for mistakes he never knew he made. He spent days wallowing in his own sorrow whenever she scolded him for no apparent reason. 'Probably for living. Yeah, I should've just died that day. Woulda made her life less miserable. Made the whole world a better place to live in, short one useless person.'
Gojyo looked at the rain falling above him, his eyes welling up with tears again. He couldn't believe how pathetic he could be. It wasn't like him to lose control over his emotions. Gathering whatever courage he had left, he got up and walked into the rain. He was going to settle his problem whether he liked it or not. Besides, he couldn't go back to his room after what had happened. Gojyo yawned expansively. "Yet another night without sleep... heh!" he said to no one in particular, the corner of his lips curving slightly up. Hands in his pockets, head hanging low, he looked at his feet and a few inches beyond it while he walked aimlessly.
Hakkai followed behind Gojyo quietly from a fair amount of distance in the rain, not wanting the other to notice that he was there. Guilt overcame him soon after Gojyo angrily left the room. He felt the need to apologize, to say he was sorry for being selfish. He'd overheard the redhead at the front porch steps. Confessing his need to substantiate himself. Hakkai was blind enough not to notice how much he meant to his friend. It upset him to watch his frustrated friend mutilate his hand, and also the wall. To watch him cry, not knowing what the exact reason was. He'd never seen him done that in all the time he knew him. He always thought of Gojyo as strong and very capable of handling his equanimity... unlike him.
Thunder shook the air around him, causing him to shudder under the rain. His long crimson hair covered the sides of his view, just like a horse with blinders [1]. Eyes still mainly focusing on the muddy ground. His mind lost deep in his own world, he didn't realize that he was now shivering uncontrollably. That his arms had unconsciously wrapped his own body, holding on to any body heat left from escaping, shoulders squeezed closer towards his neck. Carelessly unaware of his surroundings, he walked past a youkai hiding behind the wall of one of the shops. Obscure of it's presence.
The youkai jumped out and landed behind Gojyo. Holding a sword in one hand, it was about to strike the half-youkai. Hakkai who was now only a few meters away saw the youkai and shouted for Gojyo to look out. Gojyo snapped out from his inattentiveness and turned around, only to be received with a blade piercing through his stomach. His eyes widened in shock, gasping for air from the sudden attack. The youkai pulled the sword out of him and was ready to strike again. Gojyo clutched his wounded front and fell to the ground on his knees, coughing out blood as he staggered to breath.
Hakkai ran towards them, shouting Gojyo's name as he formed a Ki ball between his palms and launched it just before the youkai. The youkai disintegrate into dust particles in front of crimson eyes, he saw his friend run to his aid before collapsing onto the ground, almost losing all consciousness.
"Gojyo... Gojyo!! Daijobou desu ka? Gojyo! Can you hear me?" the green-eyed man shouted over the loud sounds of thunder and rain.
Gojyo coughed some more blood in reply.
"I'm sorry Gojyo. It's my fault. If it wasn't for me... Hold on. I'll get you back to the inn!" Hakkai managed to say in the midst of panicking. He lifted Gojyo in his arms and quickly headed back for the inn. "Please hang in there. Please... for me!" he whispered into the injured man's ear.
Gojyo smiled slightly at the man carrying him, holding in the urge to cough up the blood gurgling in his throat. "Don't... worry..." he told him before his face twisted in pain again. Gojyo clutched the wound, trying to tolerate the pain but passed out in his friend's arms.
To be continued...
~~~
Note:
[1] - blinders. I think that's what its called. It's a pair of leather flaps attached to a horse's bridle to curtail side vision.
I sort of uploaded this chapter previously, but removed it and re-did the ending. Hope its better! Pls review. Thanks
Don't own 'em!
Author's Note:
This chapter was written mostly inspired/accompanied whilst listening to Houran No Himitsu from Saiyuki. If you can, try to get a hold on the song. Really nice!
Sorry if the characters seem OOC [out of character]. I'm trying my best to keep them the way they are.
Don't know if I should change the rating though. But anyways... on with the story.
~~~
Sanzo being the driver, Hakkai took his place behind with Gojyo so that if needed to, he could rest more comfortably. The other reason was also to prevent Gojyo and Goku to launch into another one of their rackets. Gojyo told Hakkai that if he needed to, he could lie down but refused. "Iie, Gojyo!" he would reply smiling sheepishly. "Seriously, I'm fine. You've done more than enough for me. I think it is you who needs rest since you hadn't any proper sleep". Sanzo occasionally scrutinized on the two of them through the mirror. At one point, he couldn't stand the little coy game they were playing. Whether or not they were aware, he thought of it as plain pathetic. "Ahem..." Sanzo cleared his throat silencing the two of them. Goku as usual was oblivious to what was happening.
Throughout their journey, Hakkai spent most of his time staring at the passing scenery, quietly drowning himself in his own thoughts. Sporadically he'd close his eyes to regain his strength, napping until at one point or another he was woken up by one of the two 'juveniles'. Goku, whining about his empty stomach, only to be quieted each time by Sanzo's paper fan. As for Gojyo, he screeched at the near deaths he was experiencing when Sanzo almost collided into trees and huge boulders. Complaining at how inexpertly he was handling the jeep.
When Sanzo couldn't take anymore of Gojyo's constant nagging, he stopped the jeep and proceeded to whack Gojyo with his paper fan. Not satisfied, Sanzo pulled out his gun and aimed at Gojyo's head. He shot once purposely missing his ear by an inch and said, "The next one will go through you head if you don't keep your fucking comments to yourself!" Goku only instigated the situation even more by teasing Gojyo. Hakkai watched them fight through blurry eyes. His head was now throbbing from all the noise. He requested his friends to stop arguing but no one seemed to be listening. With no other way out, he quietly asked Hakuryu to transform back into his little dragon form.
With one 'Kyu' accepting his orders from his master, Hakuryu changed; all four of them fell to the ground. "Oww... why did you do that for Hakkai?" Goku rubbed his aching bottom. Sanzo and Gojyo furiously glared at Hakkai. "Sanzo coulda pulled the trigger 'accidentally' and shot my frikin' head you know that??" Gojyo yelled. "Gomen nasai... ", Hakkai replied without any effort, plastering his famous smile. He rubbed that back of his head with one hand and explained, "I had no choice seeing as none of you were listening to me. And because I didn't have enough strength to shout... I had to resort to other measures," he grinned at them, trying not to show how much his head was hurting him to speak.
Sanzo dusted the sand off his robes as he got up. "Let's go!" he ordered. Violet eyes burning with anger, his lips pressed together into one thin line. Hakuryu immediately transformed back into the jeep. Hakkai wobbly trying to stand, blood gushed to his head causing him to see stars. He almost lost his grip and fell whilst climbing into the jeep only to be saved when a hand caught hold of his, pulling Hakkai back into the jeep. He looked surprisingly at Gojyo and thanked him in return. For the rest of the trip the foursome kept quiet, allowing Hakkai to rest slouching in his own seat. He knew that Sanzo was disappointed in him, after all the trouble he'd caused them. Their journey was delayed more than enough as it is. He had really done it after the last stunt he pulled, asking Hakuryu to transform without giving any prior notice to the rest.
With the Gods on their side, for once at least, it didn't rain as Gojyo predicted it to be. However, it wasn't a sunny day either. Just clouds, clouds and more clouds following them, threatening to rain at anytime. It took them the entire day to finally reach the next town. Once checked in, Hakkai wished his traveling mates good night and headed straight for the bedroom he and Gojyo shared for that night. Hakkai yearned for a comfortable bed, to ease his tensed and aching muscles. Knowing what's best for him, Hakkai plopped onto his bed. With only enough strength to remove his shoes, he curled up and knocked out instantly. Falling into a dreamless sleep.
Downstairs in the inn's diner was Goku, Gojyo and Sanzo. Filling up his stomach to his heart's content, Goku was bloated with almost all the food they ordered. He burped to announce that he was finished, Goku made his and his bulging stomach's way up to his room. Gojyo and Sanzo barely ate, most of the time Sanzo looked at Gojyo suspiciously. "What are you and your droopy eyes looking at?" Gojyo took a drag from his cigarette and blew it into Sanzo's face. The monk turned his gaze away and looked at the inviting bar. He didn't answer Gojyo's question, but instead got up and made his way to have a drink. Gojyo joined him a while later, sitting two seats away from Sanzo. The two of them quietly drank and smoked the next couple of hours away, occupying their time in their own thoughts.
"Hey!" a slightly blushing monk had moved to sit next to Gojyo. "What?" Gojyo eyes now half-lidded. Sanzo didn't reply but asked the bartender to pour him another drink. Another hour passed with only the two of them left in the bar... still drinking. "You have a... thing for Hakkai?" the monk suddenly asked. "Huh?" Gojyo asked in a daze. Sanzo pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. Looking blindly for his lighter, Gojyo flicked his own in front of Sanzo, waiting for him to light it. Sanzo took a drag from his cigarette and pursued with his question.
"Do you have feelings for him, you stupid *hic* kappa? Such an easy question you can't even understand," Sanzo asked irritably.
"I'm not stupid okay! That's what your pet is there for. I know what you meant, just... " Gojyo stopped midway of his sentence, unsure of what he was going to say.
"Just what? Didn't think I'd notice?" Sanzo hiccupped again and was now swaying in the barstool.
"What's it to you anyway? Even if I 'did' have anything for him... " Gojyo sighed. "It's not like he would return my... Why am I telling a corrupt monk this for?"
Sanzo closed his eyes as he fell off his seat. Gojyo quickly caught him and lifted him up. Placing one hand around the monk's waist and one of the other's hands around his own neck, Gojyo dragged Sanzo up the stairs. Muttering to himself about how monk's can be so stupid sometimes. "Can't even control his liquor... and then ask me stupid questions. Shit! Damn you Sanzo." Sanzo groaned back at him sleepily.
After placing Sanzo on the bed next to Goku, Gojyo closed their room door and leaned against it for a moment. Thinking about what Sanzo had said. "Ch..." He made his way to the room he shared with Hakkai. He opened the door, squeaking as it moved and quickly closed it quietly. He turned around hoping he didn't wake his friend up, but saw him sitting on his bed, staring at the window outside. It had started to pour.
"Oh, you're awake!" Gojyo walked towards Hakkai's bed and sat down next to him.
Startled at the voice, he answered Gojyo with a smile, "Yes, I had been sleeping for quite awhile now. In fact, I have been sleeping almost the whole day and now I feel quite restless."
Gojyo had many questions for him. He wondered what had happened the last couple of days. Why he had such a nightmarish dream. What was his dream? Why did he say it was his fault when he clearly knew it wasn't? However, the redhead just sat there silently. He didn't know where to begin. Or even how to begin in the first place.
"What's wrong?" he asked finally.
"Hmm? Nothing!" saying it as though he'd practiced that line a couple of hundred times.
"Stop playing games with me. I know you too well... besides, I would have to be blind if I didn't notice something's been brewing in your mind"
"....." Silent. He sat silently not moving, not blinking... perhaps not even breathing.
"Hey? You heard me didn't you?!" he pressed on.
"....." Silent again.
Gojyo rolled his eyes, then got up to stand in front of Hakkai. Hands on his hips, he tapped his foot impatiently, indicating that he was waiting. His anger building. Gojyo had a very short temper, hence why he could act really childishly with Goku at times. "Is it really that difficult for you to-"
"I'm sorry Gojyo... " He looked up at the other seriously "I just... can't!"
"I can't believe this. I just can't believe this!" he raised his voice a little. "Fine. Wonder why should I even bother with you sometimes. Some friendship we have going on here isn't it. I hate it when you do this to me!" Gojyo stomped his way out of the room, slamming the door behind him in rage.
"You've really done it this time. First Sanzo, now Gojyo. Who's next? Goku? You stupid idiot" Hakkai spoke to the empty room, quietly smiling to himself. But it wasn't a happy smile. Nor was it the fake ones he wore constantly. It was a smile mocking his stupidity. He felt a knot in his throat; his chest and shoulders grow heavier. He knew Gojyo wouldn't stay mad at him forever. He knew once the tensed air around them died; Gojyo would eventually behave as though nothing had happened. Even though he has done this to him a couple of times before, how many more times will Gojyo leave him off the hook? How many more times would they have to go through this before their friendship take a turn for the worse? How many more times is he going to hurt his friend until it's too late?
Upon reaching the front door of the inn, Gojyo grab the knob and jerked the door open roughly, only to be greeted with the slight showers of the rain that flew in his direction. "Damn it!" he muttered. He needed to go for a walk, to get away and blow off some steam. He stepped out into the porch looking around him, the shop sitting opposite the inn a few meters away barely visible. Clenching his hand into a ball, he punched one of the brick walls protecting the inn's front. The paint and cement cracked, crumbling to the floor. He slammed the same fist again, dangerously creating more cracks. Afraid the wall would collapse if he continued, he stopped. Only realizing later the pain that started to crawl up his arm. The skin on his knuckles split, blood trickled from the cuts mixing with the dust particles originally from the now vandalized wall.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Gojyo sat on the steps that lead into the inn, his shoes drenching from the long continuous droplets of the rain than ran from the edge of the roof. He placed his wounded hand under one of the thin streams, flinching as the cool water washed away the traces of blood, at the same time numbing the pain with its coolness. Placing his hands on either side of his head, he stared down at the floor between his legs. Watching the drops of rain bounce in random directions.
He thought about Hakkai. The way he always hid behind a mask. Smiling that idiotic smile every time, covering up his true feelings. Gojyo hated it with a vengeance. Gojyo never demanded anything from Hakkai. He never needed to. Even though he'd taken him in, given him back a life he didn't want and more, he still never asked Hakkai for any favors. He couldn't blame him though. Hakkai never asked to be rescued either.
On tear escaped his eye, joining the rest of the tears the sky shed. He gritted his teeth, feeling the anger pass over him again. Chest and face hot with fury, regardless of the coldness he was in. He struck the side of the same fist against the pillar next to him. This time more tears flowed from the corner of his eyes. It wasn't tears from the pain he inflicted upon himself. But a pain that hurt deeper. A pain that pierced through his heart like a knife slicing it every time he thought about it. Every time he wondered why his friend never fully trusted him. 'What does it take?' he pondered.
He couldn't hate Hakkai forever. Actually, he couldn't hold any grudges towards him for long. No matter how much his best annoyed him at times, he still had a soft spot for him. He is still his best friend. Someone he confides his feelings and problems with more than anyone before. The last thing he'd wanted was to have another argument with him. Especially not in his current vulnerable condition. All Gojyo wanted was to prove that he was capable of being 'there' for him. To be Hakkai's crying shoulder, albeit giving advice wasn't his forte. Maybe it was just an excuse for Gojyo. "Yeah, maybe it's just an excuse to prove to myself I'm worth something to someone" he sighed at his pathetic self.
He thought about his past. About his stepmother. How he had tried everyday to please her but was only scolded in return. Her tears flowing, showing him how much he pained her. He tried to prove to her that he wasn't as bad as she thought he was. Giving her flowers, helping her in the kitchen... asking her for forgiveness for mistakes he never knew he made. He spent days wallowing in his own sorrow whenever she scolded him for no apparent reason. 'Probably for living. Yeah, I should've just died that day. Woulda made her life less miserable. Made the whole world a better place to live in, short one useless person.'
Gojyo looked at the rain falling above him, his eyes welling up with tears again. He couldn't believe how pathetic he could be. It wasn't like him to lose control over his emotions. Gathering whatever courage he had left, he got up and walked into the rain. He was going to settle his problem whether he liked it or not. Besides, he couldn't go back to his room after what had happened. Gojyo yawned expansively. "Yet another night without sleep... heh!" he said to no one in particular, the corner of his lips curving slightly up. Hands in his pockets, head hanging low, he looked at his feet and a few inches beyond it while he walked aimlessly.
Hakkai followed behind Gojyo quietly from a fair amount of distance in the rain, not wanting the other to notice that he was there. Guilt overcame him soon after Gojyo angrily left the room. He felt the need to apologize, to say he was sorry for being selfish. He'd overheard the redhead at the front porch steps. Confessing his need to substantiate himself. Hakkai was blind enough not to notice how much he meant to his friend. It upset him to watch his frustrated friend mutilate his hand, and also the wall. To watch him cry, not knowing what the exact reason was. He'd never seen him done that in all the time he knew him. He always thought of Gojyo as strong and very capable of handling his equanimity... unlike him.
Thunder shook the air around him, causing him to shudder under the rain. His long crimson hair covered the sides of his view, just like a horse with blinders [1]. Eyes still mainly focusing on the muddy ground. His mind lost deep in his own world, he didn't realize that he was now shivering uncontrollably. That his arms had unconsciously wrapped his own body, holding on to any body heat left from escaping, shoulders squeezed closer towards his neck. Carelessly unaware of his surroundings, he walked past a youkai hiding behind the wall of one of the shops. Obscure of it's presence.
The youkai jumped out and landed behind Gojyo. Holding a sword in one hand, it was about to strike the half-youkai. Hakkai who was now only a few meters away saw the youkai and shouted for Gojyo to look out. Gojyo snapped out from his inattentiveness and turned around, only to be received with a blade piercing through his stomach. His eyes widened in shock, gasping for air from the sudden attack. The youkai pulled the sword out of him and was ready to strike again. Gojyo clutched his wounded front and fell to the ground on his knees, coughing out blood as he staggered to breath.
Hakkai ran towards them, shouting Gojyo's name as he formed a Ki ball between his palms and launched it just before the youkai. The youkai disintegrate into dust particles in front of crimson eyes, he saw his friend run to his aid before collapsing onto the ground, almost losing all consciousness.
"Gojyo... Gojyo!! Daijobou desu ka? Gojyo! Can you hear me?" the green-eyed man shouted over the loud sounds of thunder and rain.
Gojyo coughed some more blood in reply.
"I'm sorry Gojyo. It's my fault. If it wasn't for me... Hold on. I'll get you back to the inn!" Hakkai managed to say in the midst of panicking. He lifted Gojyo in his arms and quickly headed back for the inn. "Please hang in there. Please... for me!" he whispered into the injured man's ear.
Gojyo smiled slightly at the man carrying him, holding in the urge to cough up the blood gurgling in his throat. "Don't... worry..." he told him before his face twisted in pain again. Gojyo clutched the wound, trying to tolerate the pain but passed out in his friend's arms.
To be continued...
~~~
Note:
[1] - blinders. I think that's what its called. It's a pair of leather flaps attached to a horse's bridle to curtail side vision.
I sort of uploaded this chapter previously, but removed it and re-did the ending. Hope its better! Pls review. Thanks