Part Four
A week had passed by, uneventfully. There had been no more reports of any attacks on Mortalists, and all was well at the safe houses. The year was beginning to pass into autumn, the trees were just beginning to change colour, and the evenings were becoming long. It was still pleasant enough to spend some time outside before it got dark, and that was where most people were. From the kitchen window, Reyden watched as some of the others enjoyed what was left of the evening. In particular, he watched Turin, Ayari and Kai. To tell the truth, Reyden was jealous of Turin. To him, Turin seemed to have it all. He had a relatively easy life, even here in hiding. He didn't have to do all the running around. People liked and trusted Turin more than him. But, most of all, he had Ayari.
Reyden wasn't exactly sure of when he had begun thinking of Ayari in that sort of way. Although he was still attached to Leorie, he felt that deep in his heart, he didn't love her in the way he should. The way Turin loved Ayari. He knew what people said about himself behind his back, that he was cold, unfeeling. He knew they wondered how Leorie could even like him, let alone love him. And that hurt him, although he hardly ever admitted it to himself, let alone anyone else. He had always put his jobs first, like making sure that as many Mortalists as possible remained safe. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered, he thought, it often feels like it's thrown back in my face. It was this self-denial and pessimism that drove people away, yet he couldn't help it. He had simply accepted it as part of who he was. Leorie entered the kitchen, and he turned and looked at her.
"Are you alright?" he asked, noticing that she looked a little ashen. Leorie nodded, and came and stood by him. "You don't look it," he continued, touching her face.
"I'm fine, really. Just a little tired," she replied. She sounded a bit weary, so Reyden left it at that. Leorie leant her head against his shoulder, and looked out of the window.
"He's sweet, isn't he?" she said. Reyden looked puzzled.
"Who?"
"Kai, of course. Who did you think I meant?" she smiled at him.
"I don't know," he replied, watching as the little family made their way back towards the house. They came in through the door, Ayari holding Kai's hands and allowing him to mimic walking, much to his delight. Leorie went over to him and picked him up.
"Hello, Kai," she said to him.
"I'm glad I caught you," Ayari said. "I was hoping to ask you if you'd look after him tonight, I'm planning to go and catch up on my observations of the breaks in the shield as it's going to be a clear night. And Turin's going to go off somewhere with Bejan and Dalin."
"Yes, I'd love to," said Leorie.
"Where are you going, Turin?" asked Reyden.
"Just out, nowhere in particular. We weren't planning on going far, for obvious reasons," replied Turin shortly. He disappeared before Reyden could question him further. Leorie handed back Kai, and said,
"Well, I'm going to have a sleep. What time do you want to go?"
"About eight," said Ayari. Leorie nodded, and vanished into the depths of the house, upstairs to the room that she and Reyden had. Ayari began to busy herself with getting Kai his dinner, and didn't notice at first that Reyden was still in the kitchen. When she did, she gave him a half smile, but didn't say anything to him. Reyden, feeling awkward, eventually found his voice.
"Would you like any help?" he asked. Ayari was a little surprised by his offer.
"Oh, er...no thank you, I'm fine," she replied. She sat down next to Kai, but facing him, and began to feed him, although he was nearly there himself. Reyden sat down on the opposite side of the table.
"Leorie's been a bit off colour lately," he said.
"Really? I haven't noticed, but then again, I haven't seen her much for the past week or two," said Ayari, letting Kai take hold of the spoon. "She's been out with you, I've been out with Turin and the others."
"I was wondering if you knew if there was something bothering her," said Reyden. Ayari shook her head, watching Kai make a mess on the table. She grabbed hold of his hand again.
"Do you know where Bejan, Dalin and Turin are going tonight?" he asked.
"I think it's just to look round some of the deserted houses into the city. They're only going about a mile or so, if that."
"To do what?" asked Reyden, curious. Ayari shrugged.
"See if they can find anything useful, I guess. I don't think they'll find much, personally."
"Taking a bit of a risk, aren't they?" Ayari looked at Reyden.
"Turin can take care of himself," she said, coldly. Reyden stiffened slightly.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I just like to be sure that no one had to put themselves into trouble, that's all."
"Perhaps you worry too much," said Ayari. "A lot of the fuss has died down now."
"You can't be complacent though," reminded Reyden. Ayari agreed.
"But," she said, "you know we can't just all stay within our boundaries all the time." They sat in silence for a few
seconds, and Reyden felt that he should go.
"I'll see you later when you leave Kai with Leorie," he said. Ayari nodded, the half smile back on her lips as he left the room.
Later, after it had got dark, Ayari made her way up to the top of the hill. The temperature had dropped, but it wasn't cold enough to make her wear a coat. She carried her telescope, a small book and a rug with her. Once at the top of the hill, she lay the rug down and set up her telescope. Opening the book to the last entry, she dated the top of the next clean page, then lay on her front and peered through the telescope, pointing it skyward to where the biggest break in the shield was. She sketched the rough shape of it, then began to note down the positions of the stars she could see through it. A small gust of wind blew the pages over and she tutted as she found where she was. Gradually, as time passed, the lights back at the house began to go out, until only one or two were left. Ayari liked being out here by herself, and despite Reyden's fears, she never felt in any danger whatsoever. This feeling and the fact that she was absorbed in watching the sky meant that she didn't hear the soft footsteps of someone creeping up behind her. Suddenly, a hand came over her eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, but found that her mouth had been covered by another hand. She tried to struggle, until she heard someone laughing. Her eyes and mouth were uncovered, and she twisted round to see Turin crouching beside her.
"Turin! I hate you!" she hissed. Turin was still laughing as he sat down on the corner of the rug.
"Really?" he said. Ayari recovered herself and smiled at him.
"No, not really. You scared me to death, that's all."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. You were miles away," he grinned. Ayari leaned on her side.
"So, did you find anything interesting?" Turin screwed up his face and shook his head.
"No, but it was nice to be able to take a good look at stuff without Reyden interfering. Seen any more of your little aircraft?"
"Not today, but I wasn't really looking for them. I was concentrating on the stars. I might sneak out to the archives soon to find some old star charts and compare them. Just out of interest." Turin raised an eyebrow.
"I don't know what you find so interesting about peering into the sky," he said, not for the first time. Ayari shrugged, and smiled at him. Turin leaned towards her.
"You're crazy. I might have to take you to the High Council and hand you over," he said.
"You'll have to catch me first," smiled Ayari. She squealed as Turin grabbed her waist, and then there was a flurry of arms and legs, as the two wrestled each other. Turin managed to pin Ayari's wrists down against the grass, and they lay there giggling, half-afraid that someone would hear them, even though they were some distance from the house.
"Looks like you caught me," said Ayari.
"Looks like I did," replied Turin. He kissed her, one hand gently brushing down her side. Ayari closed her eyes as he began to kiss her neck, slowly moving down to her shoulder.
"No, not out here," she murmured.
"Why not?" he replied, moving to the other side of her neck.
"Because..." she began, then gave up. The slight evening chill that had arisen disappeared as she looked over Turin's shoulder at the stars. For some reason, at that moment Ayari knew that her destiny lay amongst those bright points of light.
Sometime later, they crept back into the house, feeling like children who had been up to no good and had got away with it. They went into the living room where Leorie was sat, reading. Kai was fast asleep in his little carrier, a blanket snugly round him. Leorie smiled at them.
"Was he alright?" asked Ayari, as Turin gently lifted the carrier, complete with sleeping Kai.
"Yes, as always," said Leorie.
"Wish he was like that with us," said Turin. Ayari grinned ruefully, and they turned to go, but Leorie called after Ayari.
"Ayari, can I talk to you?" Ayari nodded, and went and sat beside her. Turin disappeared downstairs with Kai, leaving the two women.
"What's the matter?" asked Ayari. Leorie shifted slightly, and looked worried.
"I've just made things worse by leaving it this long," she said.
"What?" said Ayari, puzzled.
"I tried telling him, but couldn't. He knows something's the matter," replied Leorie.
"Who? Reyden? What's wrong? I can't do anything unless you tell me what's going on," said Ayari. Leorie sighed.
"I...I...I'm pregnant," she blurted out, and burst into tears.
"Oh, Leorie," Ayari hugged her, trying to comfort her friend. "How long have you known?"
"I think it's just over four months," said Leorie, sitting up and drying her eyes.
"Four months and you never said anything?" exclaimed Ayari, hardly believing her ears.
"I just couldn't," was the reply.
"I think you really should tell Reyden. It won't be long before it starts to show," said Ayari.
"I know I should, but he's busy, so am I, and when we are together, I just couldn't seem to find the chance," sniffed Leorie. Ayari sighed.
"You're just more frightened of what his reaction will be," she said. Leorie's shoulders hunched, and she didn't say anything. Ayari continued. "He has a right to know, and besides, what can he do?"
"He's going to be so angry," said Leorie. Ayari shook her head.
"I don't think so. I think that he's going to be more upset that you didn't say anything earlier. Look, I know what it feels like, it wasn't easy to tell Turin, but things turned out fine."
"But I'm not like you, and Turin isn't like Reyden," said Leorie in a small voice.
"Leorie, you're being silly now. I tell you what, tomorrow morning, you are going to tell Reyden, and if you want I'll wait outside the door in case it doesn't go well. Okay?" There was a pause.
"Okay," said Leorie. Ayari hugged her again, and got up.
"Get a good nights sleep," she said. Leorie smiled a watery smile.
"Thank you," she said. Ayari returned the smile.
"Thank you for looking after Kai," she said, and left.
The next morning Leorie woke with a start. Beside her, Reyden was still asleep. She sat up carefully so as not to disturb him. She slipped on a dressing gown, and quietly left the room. Ayari was nowhere to be seen. Leorie pushed the thought that Ayari wasn't going to show out of her mind, it was early morning after all. She ran a hand through her golden brown hair and sighed. Maybe it was the pregnancy that was making her feel so mixed up. Despite there being quite a few children around amongst the Mortalists, generally speaking they were a rare occurrence on Brunnis 2. There weren't many books left on the subject, the very notion of it being abandoned by the Olds as another danger to their state of health, so prospective mothers relied on each other, else they were pretty much on their own. No one else seemed to be up yet, not even Ayari or Mythia, so she made herself a drink and sat down at the kitchen table. After a few minutes, she heard a noise behind her. Turning round, she saw Ayari with Kai.
"Ready?" asked Ayari sitting down. Leorie shook her head.
"No, but I have to do it," she replied.
"Where's Reyden?"
"Still asleep," said Leorie. She stared at the table in front of her. Ayari said nothing more, and busied herself in making a drink. Ayari had just sat down again and passed Leorie a mug of coffee when Reyden walked in. He smiled at the two women, and walked over to the kettle to make himself a drink. Ayari looked at Leorie, who shook her head.
"So, what's the plan for today?" asked Reyden.
"I was going to take Kai out for a walk and some fresh air, but looking at the weather, I don't think it's a good idea," said Ayari. Reyden looked at the heavily overcast sky outside, and agreed. Leorie kept her eyes on the table. Ayari gestured frantically at her as best she could without drawing Reyden's attention. Leorie glanced up nervously. Annoyed, Ayari stood up.
"Well, I'd better go and shove Turin out of bed," she smiled, and left the kitchen, giving Leorie a look. She stood outside, by the door, but out of sight. Leorie watched her go, and felt even more anxious. Reyden smiled at her.
"What's the matter?" he asked. Leorie avoided his gaze.
"I…I…there's something I need to tell you," she said. Reyden sat down, not knowing what to expect.
"Go on," he said.
"I didn't mean to keep it from you this long…it's just that…I mean…I didn't know how to say it…I wasn't sure…" she broke off, and looked at Reyden who was looking puzzled.
"What I mean to tell you is…is…I'm pregnant."
"What?"
"I'm four months pregnant." There was a pause as the news sank in. Reyden stood up.
"Four months?" he asked Leorie. She nodded. Reyden shook his head and turned and looked out of the window. "Four months. Four months and you haven't said anything?" His voice raised towards the end of the sentence, and Leorie saw his shoulders stiffen.
"I'm sorry," she murmured. Reyden turned and glared at her.
"Sorry? You're sorry?"
"I couldn't make myself tell you. Ayari…"
"Oh, Ayari knew, did she? I suppose she made you tell me?" interrupted Reyden. Leorie only nodded, tears beginning to trickle down her face. Reyden stormed on. "So, if she hadn't, when would I have known? When it was born? Its tenth birthday?"
"I would have told you sooner, but I just couldn't." said Leorie. Reyden scowled.
"For God's sake, Leorie, we're in a relationship. If you can't tell me something like that…" he trailed off, unable to finish. The only sound was Leorie sobbing. She spoke up.
"You just never gave me the chance. You were always busy with running things here, meeting up with other people."
"Don't be ridiculous. I spend plenty of time with you," snapped Reyden. Something snapped in Leorie. She stood up to face Reyden.
"A few minutes here and there isn't plenty of time," she said. "You never want to talk much when I do see you because you're too tired, or there's too much to do."
"So I've been a bit busy recently," said Reyden.
"You're always 'a bit busy'. We never do anything together anymore. For the past month it's like I've been living by myself."
"Well, we must do something together else you wouldn't be pregnant. Unless it's not mine after all. Which would make sense given that when I've tried to show any kind of affection to you recently it's been shrugged off." snarled Reyden. "Don't give me that crap about not doing anything together."
The sound of Leorie's hand hitting Reyden's cheek echoed round the hallway outside the kitchen, making Ayari wince. Inside, it was deadly silence. Reyden just stood clutching the side of his face, his eyes wide with surprise, while Leorie stood glaring at him, her sudden burst of anger subsiding. As quickly as it had come, it disappeared, giving way to tears again. Leorie sank down onto the kitchen floor, sobbing. Reyden, his cheek scarlet and still throbbing, seemed to have come to his senses, for he knelt down beside Leorie, and put his arms round her. Leorie clung to him as he kissed her on her face.
"Leorie, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." Leorie nodded in acknowledgement, though she still sobbed. Outside, Ayari turned some people away from the kitchen. Turin came along, and before he could say anything, Ayari took his arm and pulled him into an empty room nearby. She put Kai down to wander around the room, and then turned to face Turin.
"What's going on?" he asked, curiously.
"Leorie and Reyden have just been arguing," she replied.
"Oh?" said Turin, still curious. Ayari peeked out of the door, then looked back at Turin.
"Leorie's pregnant," she said. Turin's eyes widened in surprise.
"Really?"
"Four months gone, and she's only just told Reyden," said Ayari. Turin raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.
"Well, I don't blame him for being angry if that's how long it took her to tell him," he said.
"Turin…" began Ayari, but he cut her short.
"Look, he's not the easiest man in the world to talk to, I know, but keeping that from him was mean," replied Turin. He turned to grab Kai's hand away from an ornament, then continued. "If you had done that to me when you knew you were pregnant with Kai…" he trailed off.
"But he was furious, Turin. I've never seen him so angry before," Ayari told him.
"He was probably deeply hurt," argued Turin. Ayari was about to reply, but then shook her head. She leaned her head on Turin's chest, put her arms round him, and sighed.
"There's no use us arguing about someone else's argument," she said. Turin ran his hand through her long dark hair.
"I'll look after Kai if you want to talk to Leorie," he said. Ayari agreed. Turin smiled at her, and went to chase Kai, who, realising his father was after him, decided that it was time for a game of hide and seek. Ayari giggled.
"Will you be going anywhere?" she asked.
"I was going to go out along the old Main Gate with Bejan. I can still take Kai with us," said Turin, pretending to look for Kai behind a cupboard.
"Are you sure that's going to be safe?" Ayari asked.
"Yeah, it'll be fine. There's Bejan to help look after him," said Turin. Ayari looked slightly sceptical, but let it pass.
"Make sure he's wrapped up warm," said Ayari.
"Who, Bejan? That's his business," said Turin cheekily. Ayari rolled her eyes, and left the room. She peered into the kitchen, but it was empty. She decided to go up to Leorie and Reyden's room. It was near the bathroom, so she could always pretend to go in there if need be. She disappeared up the staircase. As she got near the top, the bedroom door opened, and Reyden came out. He ignored her completely, and disappeared down the stairs. Nervously, Ayari knocked on Leorie's door.
"Ayari?"
"Yes."
"Come in." Ayari pushed open the door, and went in to see Leorie lying on the bed. She sat up as Ayari came over, her face still tear stained.
"Did you hear?" she said.
"What happened in the kitchen? Yes, I did," said Ayari.
"He's calmed down a lot now, but he's still angry," said Leorie. "I've really made a mess of everything."
"It's done now. You'll just have to work on making something out of the mess," said Ayari. Leorie nodded, but the tears began to well up again. Ayari put an arm round her.
"It'll be alright," she said. "Things always have a way of working out. You've had the bad bit, it can only get better from here."
"I hope you're right," said Leorie, quietly.
Meanwhile, Turin had eventually caught Kai, gone back to their room to get a coat for him, then had gone into the kitchen to finally get the breakfast he had originally come up to get. He sat Kai on a chair, with a toy that happened to be lying around, and made himself some toast. He sat down next to Kai, and gave him a bit. Turin munched away on a piece of his own, while Kai mushed the toast into pieces with his hand.
"Eat it Kai, it's not a toy." Turin watched Kai nibble what was left of the toast, and proceeded to finish his own. Bejan came into the kitchen.
"I've been looking for you. We were supposed to meet five minutes ago."
"I'm sorry, something happened. Just let me get Kai cleaned up, then we'll be going," said Turin, and stood up to get a cloth. Bejan sighed, and stood with his arms folded, watching Turin wipe Kai's face and hands. Turin lifted Kai into his arms.
"Come on then, lets go before it gets much later," he said. Bejan's jaw dropped as they went out towards the front door.
"You're not bringing him, are you? Isn't Ayari around?"
"Something came up. I'll explain later when we're out of here. He won't be a problem, we're not going far," said Turin, stopping by the front door to put Kai's coat on.
"We're not going on some family walk," said Bejan, as they stepped outside.
"We're not in any hurry, are we?" asked Turin, closing the door behind them as they walked away from the house.
"Well…no," admitted Bejan. Turin smiled at him.
"Then there isn't a problem then," he said. Neither of them noticed Reyden leaning against the wall of the house watching them go, then setting off in the opposite direction.
He needed to clear his head, and burn off some of the anger he still had. Above, the dull clouds looked like they may rain sometime soon, but Reyden didn't care about getting wet. At first, he followed the road that would take him back into the main city, but then decided to go out into the countryside. As he stomped along, he contemplated the events of the morning. The thought that was most at the back of his mind was why. Surely I can't be that awful, he thought to himself. But then again, she didn't even tell Ayari until last night. Reyden climbed over a fence, and jumped down into a muddy patch. He looked down at the mud on his boots, but then continued on his way. Out where it was exposed, the wind whipped across the land, blowing stray locks of hair all over the place. He trudged over the grass, not looking back. At least some things had been explained, but her behaviour was still odd. When he had taken Leorie up to their room, he had tried to get her to talk to him, but she could only say she was sorry. So he had given up, and decided to leave her to it. They both needed to calm down. Reyden's cheek had stopped stinging, but the shock was still fresh in his mind. But that had been his own fault, he'd admit that. It hadn't been the first time he had said things in the heat of the moment, and it wouldn't be the last. He put Leorie out of his mind. He didn't want to think about her any more if he could help it. He turned his thoughts to becoming a father. He'd never been keen on having any children, as he didn't particularly like them. He had learned to tolerate the ones that lived in the safe house, as he had no other choice, he couldn't avoid everyone. He couldn't avoid this, either. It was going to have to be another thing to live with. Reyden was not sure how good a father he could be, as it was never a role he'd imagined himself in seriously. Sometimes in his daydreams about Ayari, he would take the place of Turin, and it would all be as easy as Turin made it out to be. Despite his resentment and jealousy, Reyden realised that Turin would probably be the best person to talk to about the impeding situation. Although usually a very private person, Reyden needed to talk to someone this time. For once, he felt utterly lost. One thing that he was sure of was that he would stand by Leorie. Despite her fears, he wasn't about to walk out on her, which was an impossible scenario even if he had wanted to, given their situation. He cared about Leorie still, even if he no longer was in love with her. He looked up at the sky, and felt rain on his face. It was only when he looked back in front of him he realised that it wasn't raining at all. He was crying.