A/N: This is the sequel to my previous fic, The Marauders' Butt. I highly
recommend you to read my first fic before reading this. But I must warn you
of my 100th degree Insanity level.
Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia belongs to Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights belongs to J.K. Rowling. The Butt and the plot belong to me.
1.1 THE MARAUDER'S BUTT 2: VOLDEMORT STRIKES BACK
1.1.1 Chapter 1: The Two Escapes
One sunny Sunday, Voldemort was sleeping in. It was 11.00am yet he showed no sign of waking up. The guards were relieved that they had some peace and quiet at last.
Suddenly, Voldemort opened his eyes and stared at the wall. It was then that an inspiration hit him.
"I know! I'll rip the strait jacket and escape!" He was so happy that he thought of such a good idea that he forgot that he absolutely couldn't escape from the strait jacket…the one with explosives attached all over it in case he did try to escape.
Since he forgot about the bombs all over him, naturally he did not hesitate to try and rip it off. And it was then that Joyful Place Hospital had a field day.
"BOOM!" A fantastic explosion sounded. The guards all jumped up in shock but couldn't see anything through the black smoke and raging fire. It was chaos. Every patient in the hospital went mad and the poor nurses looked like they were about to collapse.
"There's absolutely no way he could have escaped that explosion," the head guard assured everyone confidently.
Suddenly, through the dark smoke, a tall figure emerged and loomed menacingly over the people. The nurses drew back in fright and the guards gasped. It wasn't possible that he was…alive?
"MUAHAHAHAHA! I'm FREE!" Voldemort screeched in delight, throwing cheesy grins everywhere. He jumped up and down, and clapped his hands together, not noticing that nobody was celebrating with him.
"World, here I COME!" he screamed and ran headfirst for the wall.
"Uh…" the head guard began but it was too late.
A second later, there was a hole in the wall. And Voldemort was gone.
"There's a madman on the loose!" the people of the street screamed in terror. The SWAT team was called in to hunt Voldemort down, but with no avail. Their weapons and helicopters were no match for Voldemort's twisted way of thinking. Meanwhile, Voldemort was having the time of his life at the village pub.
"Vod…k-k-ka…" he squealed as he asked for his fifth bottle of wine. The bartender eagerly handed him a super large bottle, and everyone was curious to see what would happen to the poor miserable madman.
Voldemort gulped down half the bottle in one swig. The customers all cheered. Just then, the doors swung open and a dozen men in armour rushed in and aimed their machine guns at Voldemort.
Voldemort wailed in despair. "NO! I must finish my bottle! Please! Let me finish my bottle! I love it so much!" He cradled the bottle in his arms, tears pouring down his cheeks. "Please! Pretty please! With cherries on top?" He sobbed and sniffed and wailed. He turned his puppy dog eyes up to the surprised soldiers, who reluctantly agreed.
"Thank you, my dear men!" He grabbed the nearest arm causing the soldier who owned it to nearly faint. "I LOVE you all so much! Come, join me!"
With that, he ordered twenty more bottles of vodka and invited the men to sit down and drink to their health.
"CHEERS!" They all shouted in unison and raised their bottles to each other. Meanwhile, the bartender started to play some romantic music in the background.
As Voldemort was in the middle of his ninth super large bottle, he suddenly had the urge to sing.
"SHOULD ALL ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIND?" he screeched at the top of his lungs, not noticing that a few of the windowpanes were severed. The men all joined in heartily and soon the music could be heard from within a few miles' radius.
Unfortunately, it was then when the rest of the SWAT team decided to join them.
"FREEZE!" the leader shouted, aiming his cannon at Voldemort. Everyone froze in mid-song. It was quiet. There was no movement, not even the sound of breathing. Until suddenly…
Voldemort screamed. All the men clapped their hands over their ears in horror as Voldemort screeched and wailed and bounced around. By the time the men dared to remove their hands, he was gone, and there was a huge hole in the wall.
2 One month later…
Peter Pettigrew, or rather known as Wormtail, sat down in the dark, cold cell in Azkaban. Several weeks ago, he received a letter from Voldemort, telling him he will be free. He now thought he would never get out of this darn cell.
CRASH!
There was a huge hole on the wall in his cell and Voldemort had finally arrived.
"WORMTAIL! How good to see you again! Be a joyful fella!"
He now faced the bars and clenched them. In a fraction of a second, he began to bend the extremely tough bars until they broke.
Then, he saw a Dementor walking towards him. He immediately said, "Ah, Dementors! Emotionless, and never joyful. They live to be foul creatures. But now, they won't! Come, give me a hug." Soon, he gave a surprise bear hug to the Dementor. In an instant, the tight hug squished it into a billion specks of dust.
"Poor thing. Look here! Another Dementor. Look here. You're emotionless and foul! But this Dementor changed!" he said, pointing to the pile of dust. "He sacrificed his life for me! Poor creature. And you will join him soon. Now, what's the spell to tickle, Wormtail? I think it is Crucio."
"But isn't it supposed to be Rictu…"
But even before Wormtail could complete the word…
"CRUCIO!!!"
There was a high screech in the air as the Dementor collapsed to the ground and wriggling and tossing itself about.
"See, Wormtail? Another triumph! See how this Dementor screams with laughter, joy and happiness. Cool, huh? Anyway…"
He then looked around him. He saw two empty cells. He sighed, "Ah, I believe this cell used to have Karkaroff in it. Even though he was a bloody coward, I still miss him; do you, Wormtail? I always wanted to hug and kiss him again. And this one had Bartemius Crouch. He's too loyal and ambitious. He really deserved that stupid Kiss."
"But, master. You said he was loyal and deserved to be second-in- command next to you."
"Him? I told him not to kill Potter and leave it to me and guess what? THAT BASTARD ACTUALLY ATTEMPTED TO CURSE HIM! Hmph. Come. Let's leave this lonely place and make the world a joyful place!" He quickly held Wormtail's hand and ran headfirst to the wall. Wormtail quickly said, "Errr…" But, soon, there was another hole on the wall and they were gone in the waters.
A/N: There will be more chapters soon. HINT: The next chapter will involve Voldemort's latest "feats" and underwear. Thank you.
Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia belongs to Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights belongs to J.K. Rowling. The Butt and the plot belong to me.
1.1 THE MARAUDER'S BUTT 2: VOLDEMORT STRIKES BACK
1.1.1 Chapter 1: The Two Escapes
One sunny Sunday, Voldemort was sleeping in. It was 11.00am yet he showed no sign of waking up. The guards were relieved that they had some peace and quiet at last.
Suddenly, Voldemort opened his eyes and stared at the wall. It was then that an inspiration hit him.
"I know! I'll rip the strait jacket and escape!" He was so happy that he thought of such a good idea that he forgot that he absolutely couldn't escape from the strait jacket…the one with explosives attached all over it in case he did try to escape.
Since he forgot about the bombs all over him, naturally he did not hesitate to try and rip it off. And it was then that Joyful Place Hospital had a field day.
"BOOM!" A fantastic explosion sounded. The guards all jumped up in shock but couldn't see anything through the black smoke and raging fire. It was chaos. Every patient in the hospital went mad and the poor nurses looked like they were about to collapse.
"There's absolutely no way he could have escaped that explosion," the head guard assured everyone confidently.
Suddenly, through the dark smoke, a tall figure emerged and loomed menacingly over the people. The nurses drew back in fright and the guards gasped. It wasn't possible that he was…alive?
"MUAHAHAHAHA! I'm FREE!" Voldemort screeched in delight, throwing cheesy grins everywhere. He jumped up and down, and clapped his hands together, not noticing that nobody was celebrating with him.
"World, here I COME!" he screamed and ran headfirst for the wall.
"Uh…" the head guard began but it was too late.
A second later, there was a hole in the wall. And Voldemort was gone.
"There's a madman on the loose!" the people of the street screamed in terror. The SWAT team was called in to hunt Voldemort down, but with no avail. Their weapons and helicopters were no match for Voldemort's twisted way of thinking. Meanwhile, Voldemort was having the time of his life at the village pub.
"Vod…k-k-ka…" he squealed as he asked for his fifth bottle of wine. The bartender eagerly handed him a super large bottle, and everyone was curious to see what would happen to the poor miserable madman.
Voldemort gulped down half the bottle in one swig. The customers all cheered. Just then, the doors swung open and a dozen men in armour rushed in and aimed their machine guns at Voldemort.
Voldemort wailed in despair. "NO! I must finish my bottle! Please! Let me finish my bottle! I love it so much!" He cradled the bottle in his arms, tears pouring down his cheeks. "Please! Pretty please! With cherries on top?" He sobbed and sniffed and wailed. He turned his puppy dog eyes up to the surprised soldiers, who reluctantly agreed.
"Thank you, my dear men!" He grabbed the nearest arm causing the soldier who owned it to nearly faint. "I LOVE you all so much! Come, join me!"
With that, he ordered twenty more bottles of vodka and invited the men to sit down and drink to their health.
"CHEERS!" They all shouted in unison and raised their bottles to each other. Meanwhile, the bartender started to play some romantic music in the background.
As Voldemort was in the middle of his ninth super large bottle, he suddenly had the urge to sing.
"SHOULD ALL ACQUAINTANCE BE FORGOT AND NEVER BROUGHT TO MIND?" he screeched at the top of his lungs, not noticing that a few of the windowpanes were severed. The men all joined in heartily and soon the music could be heard from within a few miles' radius.
Unfortunately, it was then when the rest of the SWAT team decided to join them.
"FREEZE!" the leader shouted, aiming his cannon at Voldemort. Everyone froze in mid-song. It was quiet. There was no movement, not even the sound of breathing. Until suddenly…
Voldemort screamed. All the men clapped their hands over their ears in horror as Voldemort screeched and wailed and bounced around. By the time the men dared to remove their hands, he was gone, and there was a huge hole in the wall.
2 One month later…
Peter Pettigrew, or rather known as Wormtail, sat down in the dark, cold cell in Azkaban. Several weeks ago, he received a letter from Voldemort, telling him he will be free. He now thought he would never get out of this darn cell.
CRASH!
There was a huge hole on the wall in his cell and Voldemort had finally arrived.
"WORMTAIL! How good to see you again! Be a joyful fella!"
He now faced the bars and clenched them. In a fraction of a second, he began to bend the extremely tough bars until they broke.
Then, he saw a Dementor walking towards him. He immediately said, "Ah, Dementors! Emotionless, and never joyful. They live to be foul creatures. But now, they won't! Come, give me a hug." Soon, he gave a surprise bear hug to the Dementor. In an instant, the tight hug squished it into a billion specks of dust.
"Poor thing. Look here! Another Dementor. Look here. You're emotionless and foul! But this Dementor changed!" he said, pointing to the pile of dust. "He sacrificed his life for me! Poor creature. And you will join him soon. Now, what's the spell to tickle, Wormtail? I think it is Crucio."
"But isn't it supposed to be Rictu…"
But even before Wormtail could complete the word…
"CRUCIO!!!"
There was a high screech in the air as the Dementor collapsed to the ground and wriggling and tossing itself about.
"See, Wormtail? Another triumph! See how this Dementor screams with laughter, joy and happiness. Cool, huh? Anyway…"
He then looked around him. He saw two empty cells. He sighed, "Ah, I believe this cell used to have Karkaroff in it. Even though he was a bloody coward, I still miss him; do you, Wormtail? I always wanted to hug and kiss him again. And this one had Bartemius Crouch. He's too loyal and ambitious. He really deserved that stupid Kiss."
"But, master. You said he was loyal and deserved to be second-in- command next to you."
"Him? I told him not to kill Potter and leave it to me and guess what? THAT BASTARD ACTUALLY ATTEMPTED TO CURSE HIM! Hmph. Come. Let's leave this lonely place and make the world a joyful place!" He quickly held Wormtail's hand and ran headfirst to the wall. Wormtail quickly said, "Errr…" But, soon, there was another hole on the wall and they were gone in the waters.
A/N: There will be more chapters soon. HINT: The next chapter will involve Voldemort's latest "feats" and underwear. Thank you.