Disclaimers: The song is Fiona's, the boys belong to some production company somewhere, not making any money from this, you know the routine.
Spoilers: none (I hope!)
Notes:
Feedback: Pretty please? With little chibis on top? (You pick which ones ~_^) Post here, or you can e-mail me at insanewritinggirl@yahoo.com.
Never Let You Go
Chapter 17
by quelirain
| 'Cause I suddenly feel like a different person
from the roots of my soul comes a gentle coercion and I ran my hand over a strange inversion A vacancy that just did not belong The child is gone --Fiona Apple, "The Child is Gone" |
Wearing a soft grey silk pantsuit and matching blouse, Relena stood in front of her dresser, brushing out her still slightly-damp hair.
She'd never really considered her work at the ministry a duty. The word implied a routine of chores, done unwillingly, instead of the unification of people and ideas that she'd come to associate with her position. She had chosen to take on the responsibility of creating and maintaining peace; she did not deny that. But duty... duties were done, regardless of preference or choice.
Wufei had made the distinction clear to her. His respect for Heero, Duo, and Quatre made him take on being responsible for her. But it was duty that had sparked the conversation on the plane and the one they'd had less than fifteen minutes ago.
She pulled her hair back into her trademark low and loose ponytail, binding it with a gold band that had been wrapped around the handle of her brush. She set the brush on the dresser, glancing in the mirror at her pale, makeup-less face. She scowled. That was what duty looked like. Dull, flat, and unattractive.
The dark circles were still under her eyes, so she reached for the concealer.
Her earlier moment of despondency had surprised her. She had endured a war, held on to the ideal of peace without compromise, and help maintain that peace every day. She knew that death didn't solve anything. Neither did running away, as your problems always caught up to you.
She blended the concealer, then began applying the rest of her makeup--lipstick, mascara, liner for both eye and lip, blush. When she was done, she looked almost normal. Milliardo wouldn't notice anything. It was Wufei's duty to fill Milliardo in, but... perhaps he wouldn't. Or perhaps he would view it as his responsibility to ensure that she didn't kill herself.
Of course, once you were dead, there was very little that could be done to fix problems; she knew that and accepted it, and with it accepted the fact that if she were dead, she could never apologize to Quatre, Duo, and Heero for what she'd put them through. She owed them that much. It was a duty, but one that she now fully understood, accepted, and chose. And that was enough to move her apologies, and remaining alive, to the realm of responsbility.
She reached for a piece of grey silk to tie in a bow around the binder, slipped on a pair of grey shoes, then opened her room door. Wufei was waiting there. He looked her over and nodded.
"Ready, then."
He led her from the living quarters into the office she used when working from the estate. Milliardo was waiting, staring out the large window behind her desk, his arms bracing his upper body as he leaned forward, gazing blankly. The glass was bulletproof, shatterproof, and one-way. It was the only way Heero would consider letting her have windows in her office. The round oak table in the corner of the office was surrounded by four chairs that rolled; underneath the spot designated for Relena, back to a wall as always, was a panic button.
Relena glanced at Wufei, who nodded.
Silently, Relena crossed the carpet between herself and her brother, wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight squeeze. He froze, then responded in kind, turning in her embrace to rest his nose in her hair. They stood together like that, Milliardo's hair curtaining Relena's face, until the tendrils tickled her nose. She sneezed, and Milliardo laughed and pulled back, one hand reaching to brush his hair behind his shoulder.
"Sorry about that. It always gets in the--"
Relena silenced him by pushing up to her toes and gently kissing his cheek. When she stepped back, he looked down at her curiously, almost... shyly.
"I'm not sure what that was for, Relena, but I must say I'm surprised that you're being so... affectionate," he said, blushing slightly as he said the word.
"I'm glad to see you again," she said softly.
Milliardo blinked, then laughed nervously. "What did you all do to her while she was with you?" Milliardo asked Wufei, but his eyes were bright and wide, far from teasing.
"Nothing that you wouldn't have approved," Wufei replied, looking expectantly at Relena. She sat at the table in her usual place and waited for the men to join her.
"The situation here is extremely sensitive right now," Milliardo began, setting a pile of papers that had been hidden behind him on her desk on the table. He and Wufei sat. "The press office is fielding calls from everywhere about the interview this morning, although I do agree with Wufei's decision to remove you from the program..." Wufei smiled, but his face turned serious at Milliardo's next words. "Rumors are still flying about what you're hiding, Relena, and frankly, I'm not sure what to tell them."
Relena felt Wufei's eyes on her as Milliardo spoke. She let her stare fall to her hands, loosely folded in her lap, then reached up to touch the cross beneath her blouse. "Milliardo..."
"The press office is stonewalling, but that's not going to work forever," he continued, reaching for a legal pad buried underneath the paperwork, pen in hand. "The longer we wait to come clean, the more the public is going to question you. We've used some questionable tactics to buy you time; I'm afraid that those come at a cost."
"Milliardo..." Relena raised her head and met her brother's eyes. "Did--" She swallowed, then glanced at Wufei. He was watching her. "Did Heero-- did he hurt anyone when he found out I was gone?"
Milliardo paused.
"I have to know." She gripped the cross, crushing her blouse around it. "Were more people hurt in my name?"
"Relena..." He looked down at the notepad. "Yes. There were injuries." He sighed. "Heero was furious, as we'd expected. We took measures to ensure that he wouldn't follow you--"
"Measures?" Relena continued to stare at Milliardo. "What kind of measures?"
"We had prepared some tranquilizers, just to calm him. In case he became violent." Milliardo set the pen and notepad down on the table, then met Relena's gaze. "It was a last resort, which we had to use."
"Drugs, in Heero's system, cause unanticipated results," Wufei added flatly. "Similar to throwing a stick of dynamite into a munitions dump."
Relena blinked, then glanced at Wufei, her hand loosening around shirt-wrapped cross. He was studying her brother now, who was flushing. "Yes," Milliardo replied. "We found that out. He became rather... paranoid. He sealed off security and interrogated two of your staff before we got there; then he escaped."
It wasn't hard for Relena to imagine Heero's interrogation techniques. She'd seen him interview new security staff members; that was bad enough. She let her hands fall into her lap, her gaze following them. "How long would the tranquilizers have been in his system?" she asked. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Wufei nod again.
"We're not certain."
Relena took a deep breath, then let it out slowly and stood. "I would like to speak with the injured," she said. "Where are they?"
Milliardo's eyebrows raised and his chin dropped. "Most were discharged the day after; two are still hospitalized. They're going to be fine. We should concentrate on taking care of you."
Ignoring him, Relena continued, "I'll need a list from you of all who were injured in this incident, but in the meantime, I would like to speak with those who are hospitalized." She drew herself up straight and stared at him. "Let's go."
Milliardo glanced at Wufei, as if asking for support. Wufei stood as well. "I will play decoy; I have some things to take care of," he said. "Whenever you are ready, princess."
"Now, then." She slid out from behind the table and headed for the door.
~owari chapter 17~