A/N: Yes, yes. I know. In Chapter 9 there were a few mistakes. Now in this chapter my Insanity Degree has jolted up a little bit more. So every chapter onwards will be insane. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Watch out for my most hilarious chapter that I have planned since Chapter 3! (I think). IT'S DRAWING EVER CLOSER ISN'T IT? I think it's the next chapter. Now how will Harry and the gang find Voldie who is locked up in the very secret, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET, SECRET organization of the SPACE ASYLUM? Find out here.

INSANITY DEGREE: 225.098

Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia belongs to Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights belongs to J. K. Rowling. And again Teletubbies don't belong to me.

Chapter 10

The Space Asylum

The gang walked along the road. They must find out where Voldemort is.

"I can't be sure where it is but he must be here somewhere," said Dumbledore already having motion sickness because of the pogo stick journey.

They continued going up the beach when suddenly they heard a scream and saw smoke from a mountain.

At the Space Asylum...

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!"

"YAHOO!!!!!"

"I told you not to give him another bottle sun lotion!!!!! Now look!!!!! Another FIRE is made!!!!!"

Back at the Miami beach...

"HEY!!! That 'yahoo' sounded more like Voldie's insane voice," said McGonagall.

"IT IS!!!!! IT'S LORD VOLDEMORT!!! HE'S UP THERE!!!!!," shouted Remus with joy.

"WE FOUND HIM!!!" said everybody and they sang the Teletubbies song again as they walked towards the mountain. After some hiking at the hill range they were starting to get tired.

"How much longer?" said Hermione.

"We are almost at the foot of the mountain," replied Dumbledore.

"I bet that word 'almost' means a 100 miles," whispered Sirius to Harry.

Then they heard a hiss. They turned back and they saw a huge, dangerous looking SNAKE!!!!

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!"

They zoomed as fast as they're feet could take them. They looked back to see if the snake is chasing them and BANG!!!!

They got up and saw what they hit into. It was the mountain!!!!! They still were worried whether the snake was chasing them when suddenly they realized that the snake could not see them. They were under the Invisibility Cloak!!!!!

"We found the mountain. Now what?" said Ron.

"Guess we have to climb the mountain," replied Dumbledore.

They were about to start their most tiring leg of the journey when suddenly they saw two doors which to open it, you must slide it apart.

"Hmmm....what do we have here!" said McGonagall.

They approached the doors and tried to open it but failed.

"Look!!! A password panel," said Hermione.

They stared at the panel that had letters and numbers on it. It even had complicated symbols on it.

"I have no idea what the password is," said Harry staring at the panel.

"I KNOW!!!" shouted Sirius as he pulled down his pants and.....(A/N: You know what will happen)

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!" And Hermione fainted *bang*.

Sirius faced the Butt at the panel. He drew his wand out and tapped on the Butt 5 short taps and 3 long taps. POOF!!!! Sulfur gas shot out from the you-know-what. The password panel then beeped. It beeped again and again and again gradually getting faster every time and CRASH!!! The panel broke. Then the doors slid open. IT WAS AN ELEVATOR!!!!

Then Hermione woke up....at an inconvenient time. Dumbledore stuffed another Anti-Faint pill in her mouth.

"Now let me see," said Dumbledore and pulled down a lever.

The doors slid shut and then they heard a booming voice from a speaker.

"BOOSTER ROCKETS ACTIVATING!!!!"

"Booster rock..." said all of them but it was too late.

The elevator shot up the mountain faster than a space shuttle. The gang were all glued to the floor by the force. They could not even scream. Suddenly the elevator, stopped and the gang banged to the ceiling and back down again. All of them saw stars.

The doors opened as they got up. They walked through a corridor and saw a sign that said...

WELCOME TO THE SPACE ASYLUM!!!!!!

"Space Asylum. Wonder why they called it like that?" questioned Ron.

They continued walking along the corridor when they saw a junction. They peeked at the path that leaded to the right of the junction and saw a guard carrying a futuristic gun. They peeked to the left and saw a guard putting a cylinder in his gun.

"Now let me test this out," said the guard. He then pulled the trigger and a laser shot out of the gun and hit the steel wall.

"That is very lethal," whispered Hermione, "One shot and you will be blasted into a thousand smithereens."

They gulped.

"I KNOW!!!!!"

Sirius took out the Butt and tapped it twice. A bag of Dungbombs emerged from the 'ahem' part. He took out two and gave one to Harry. He then whispered the plan. The EVIL plan. They crept forward.

They then revealed themselves by letting go of the Invisibility Cloak and yelled BOO!!!!!

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!" screamed the guards with surprise and shock.

Sirius and Harry threw their Dungbomb at their respective victim's mouth. The guards swallowed it and it exploded in their stomachs. And they fainted *bang*.

"Here's our reliable sources," said Sirius as they dragged the guards to a room.

The gang tied them on a board with ropes. Then Sirius took a huge bucket of greenish brownish slime and poured it over the guards. They then woke up with the slime oozing down their bodies. (A/N: I am really sick).

"WHO ARE YOU??????" yelled the guards struggling to break free of the ropes.

"We are the SNOZZLING GNORES!!!!" said Harry in a creepy voice.

"No! We are the ROBUSTING STICKMEN!!!!!" said Dumbledore.

"NO! We are the HOOPING VOMPOSAURS!!!!!" said Ron.

"YOU ARE ALL WRONG!!!!! We are the CHOMPING CALABOBOS!!!!!" said McGonagall.

"NO NO NO!!!! WE ARE THE VENOMOUS ARITHCONQUES!!!!" said Hermione.

"YOU IDIOTS!!! WE ARE THE SQUEEZING OOZE-JELLIES!!!!!" said Remus.

"NO!!! WE ARE THE SEXY MANIACS!!!!!" said Sirius.

All of them stared at him.

"Hey! I can't make up other names than that!" said Sirius.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!!" said one guard looking terrified.

"We want to know where Voldemort is!"

"Who is Voldemort?"

"A really insane man that has a really, really bald head."

"Oh!!! That alien!"

"That alien?"

"He is a femicadron."

"Femicadron?"

The guard sighed.

"So where is he?"

"I can't tell you. It is against the rules of the Space Asylum."

"FINE THEN!!!! Guess the only way to make you tell us is..."

Remus took out a plate and Sirius took out a fork and a spoon. They then tossed earmuffs at Harry and the gang.

"Wear them. Because it's gonna be a really nasty torture!!!!" said Remus and he screeched the fork and spoon on the plate.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!! STOP THAT NOISE!!!!! IT'S KILLING ME!!!!!!" yelled the guards.

"Then tell us where Voldie is," said Sirius.

"IT'S AGAINST THE LAWS!!!!!!" yelled both guards trying to stand their eardrums from bursting.

"LOUDER!!!!!" said Sirius.

Remus then screeched the plate louder and the terrible sound filled the air.

"TELL US!!!!!!"

"CAN'T TELL!!!!!"

Remus stopped and said to Sirius, "It's not working."

Then Sirius got another idea. He took out 2 feathers from his pocket and gave one to Hermione and one to Ron. They already knew what to do.

"STOP THAT!!!!! THAT TICKLES!!!!! HOOOHOOOO HAHAHAHAHA WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!" yelled the guards as the feathers tickled their feet.

"FASTER!!!!!!" ordered Sirius.

Ron and Hermione tickled the guard's feet at a fast speed.

"WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOOOOO!!!! YAHAHAHAHA!!!! YOW!!!!! AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!! ALALALALALALALALLA!!!!!"

"TELL US!!!!!!!"

"CAN'T TELL!!!!! TOO RISKY!!!!! YAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! WOOOPPPOOOOWOOOP!!!!!!"

Hermione and Ron stopped tickling.

"It won't work!"

"I KNOW!!!!!!"

Sirius took out the Butt and then gave surgical masks *Darth Vader breathing sound* to the others EXCEPT (of course) the guards. Sirius then tapped the Butt with his wand thrice and green gas shot out of the Butt.

"PPPPPEEEWWWWW!!!! WHAT A STINK!!!!!!!! STOP THAT!!! IT IS DISGUSTING!!!!!!!"

And then the guards puked.

"TELL US THEN!!!!!"

"TOO RISKY!!!!!"

Sirius stopped the fart.

"It still is not working!"

"I KNOW!!!!!"

Remus grabbed the Butt and tapped it with his wand 8 short taps and 1 long tap. Then a highly pressurized stream of brown muck shot out from the Butt. Remus then rotated the Butt from one guard to the other guard and back at the first guard again so they can both experience it.

"Stop *gurgle* it *gurgle* you *spit* *gurgle* *censor* *censor* *censor* *censor* *censor* *censor*

Red Scar: CUT!!!!! You censoring technicians!!!! Censor only that swear word!!! Not the other words!!!

Censoring technician 1: What!!!! You told us to censor the swear words! So we censor them!!!!

Censoring technician 2: DUH!!!!

Red Scar: 'Aliens that are extremely torturous' are not swear words.

Censoring technician 1 and 2 : OF COURSE THEY ARE!!!! *giggle*.

Red Scar: I know that giggle!!! YOU ARE FRED AND GEORGE AGAIN!!!!! I told you to go to that studio. BUT NO!!! Instead you took over the censoring panel!!!!

Fred and George: BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!

Red Scar (whose face is very angry now): GO!!!!!!!!!!!

Fred and George: I want my Mummy. *walks out of the studio with gloom*.

"It is not working," remarked Sirius after the guards did not tell after 1 hour of being tortured by several torturous machines, "We have tried from grinders to grounders, squeezers to squashers and crushers to crashers but still NOTHING would work!"

"HEY!!! I KNOW!!!!" said Harry.

Harry took out a huge coffin from his tiny little pocket. He put it on the floor and opened. Everybody screamed when they saw it. It was a pair of...

"NIKE SHOES!!!!!!!!!!" yelled the guards, "TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!!!!"

On the surface of the Moon...

2 astronauts named Doohickey Donkey and Whatchamacallit Walrus landed on the Moon to get rock samples.

"I see a nice rock sample here," said Doohickey as he picked it up.

"WAIT!!! I am hearing voices here. It sounds like somebody screaming in horror. I think it's saying...NIKE SHOES!!!!!!!!" yelled Whatchamacallit.

Both astronauts jumped and ran around screaming at the top of their lungs.

Back at the Space Asylum...

"TAKE IT AWAY!!!!!!!"

"UNTIL YOU TELL US!!!" threatened Harry.

"OK!!!!!"

"See! I told you my plan would work," said Harry.

"That-that-that alien is in-in-in-in cell c-c-cell W s-s-s-seventeen s-s-s-sir," said the guards afraid of the Nike shoes.

"Where is this cell W17?"

"It is at the top-most floor at cell-group W at the end of the right wing, sir.'

"Well we got all we need," said Harry closing the large coffin and stuffing it in his teensy-weensy pocket.

"WAIT!!!" said Remus as they were about to set the guards free, "We cannot trust you. What if the cell is wrong. You may lead us to a trap. And if we set you free, you will tell your boss."

Remus took out a larger coffin from the collar of his shirt and opened it. And there laid a...

"TELEVISION!!! Just what I need. I need to watch the Drew Carey Show now!" said one of the guards with delight.

"But it's not just any show," said Remus smiling and he took out a VCR and a video tape from his pocket.

He inserted the video tape in the VCR and pressed a button called the Loop button. It replays the show on the video tape again and again and again and it won't stop until you press the Stop button.

"Oh good! I hope it is an episode of the Drew Carey Show so I can watch it again and again and again." said a guard.

Remus then giggled then he pressed the Play button. And then the show that appeared on the TV was...

"Teletubbies, Teletubbies..."

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled the guard, "NOT THE TELETUBBIES!!!!!!!"

"Come. Let's go!" said Dumbledore as he put the Invisibility Cloak on all of them and opened the door.

"Can I stay with them and watch the Teletubbies PLEASE?????" said Sirius in a baby voice with those goo-goo eyes.

"No can do," said Dumbledore, "We must continue."

Sirius cried with tears in his eyes, "I WANT MY MUMMY!!!!!!!" And Sirius ended up being dragged by Dumbledore.

In the middle of walking along the corridor McGonagall said, "Now what do we have to get up to the top-most floor. Elevators? Escalators? Or...stairs."

They all saw a flight of stairs in front of them.

"How many floors are there in this building?" asked Hermione.

"Hmmm..." Dumbledore then drew his wand from his pocket and made it touch the wall, "....I'm getting something....9...."

"That's not so bad."

"...6...96 floors"

All of them gazed in horror. They had to walk up the stairs to the 96th floor. They then started to climb up the stairs. They passed many doors at each landing which tells them the floor. As they passed the door labeled 30 (which means they were at the 30th floor) they heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

Sirius took the Butt out and tapped it using his wand 6 short taps 4 long taps. Then they heard a thud. An invisible Dungbomb came out from the you-know-what. Sirius put it on one of the steps of the stairs just as a guard walked down the stairs carrying a gun.

"Down base 45 all clear," said the guard to his two-way radio, "150-Gordo projected at Cell Group S and D6 is clear. Up base 25 at inspection. The Voklodron at cell G8 is restrained and Centre Base 2..."

The guard stepped on the invisible Dungbomb and it exploded. The guard fainted *bang*.

Harry and the gang proceeded. And when they passed 48th floor there was a dead end.

"Now what? We are still only half-way up and there is a dead end!" asked Ron.

"Hmmm...." Sirius took out the Butt and used his wand to tap it 9 short times. Then the Butt turned light green in colour (Hermione fainted *bang* because the Anti-Faint pill did not work). After a while the word 'ANALYZING...' appeared on the Butt. Then a map of the 60 feet radius was written on the Butt. The gang stared at it.

"THERE! Do you see that thing there. That is another flight of stairs. All we have to do is to go straight until we see a junction and then turn left and we are at the stairs," said Sirius pointing at the map, "Let's go."

At that time Hermione woke up. They all opened the door. And they found 5 guards talking to each other at the end of the corridor.

"I got an idea," said Harry and he took out 5 Dr. Filibuster's No Heat Wet-Start Fireworks and lighted them up.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!" yelled the guards as they saw the fireworks flying at them. Then it exploded at their faces (OUCH). Then the gang proceeded (A/N: From now on, I will call them the gang.)

They moved forward until they saw a junction. They turned left and saw another flight of steps. They climbed up the steps. After a very tiring climb they made it at the 96th floor. They celebrated by singing the Teletubbies song.

"Now what?" said Ron.

Sirius looked at the Butt that now was a "map".

"All we have to do is go here and turn here in this corridor turn to left base over here to the right..."

All of them looked at him.

"FINE!!! JUST FOLLOW THIS THING!!!!"

They opened Door 96 and the corridor was actually a bridge. A narrow bridge with NO railings. And another bad thing was, the bridge was suspended over a long, LONG, LONG, LONG drop. The gang were in a large chamber. A sign read:

WELCOME TO INTERCROSS-CHAMBER B!!!!!

"Intercross-Chamber B?" said Ron.

"This is maybe the chamber that is located at this section which is called Section B," replied Hermione.

"WAIT!!! How do we know where Voldemort is?" asked Harry.

"Hmmm....the Butt map of course," said Sirius, "SHUSH! A guard is coming."

A guard appeared at the end of the bridge. He was talking to his two-way radio about some Femicadron that suffered from diarrhea.

At Cell W17...

BLLLAAAARRRRRRTTTTT!!!!

"Oh no! He just released wet poo-poo!"

"Told ya not to give anymore of that Sun Lotion!"

At Intercross-Chamber B...

Then Sirius took out the Butt and tapped it twice and threw the whole bag of Dungbombs at the guard.

BOOM!!!! WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

The force of the explosion made the guard fall down the long drop. And a sickening thud filled the air.

"WHO GOES THERE!!!!" said a guard on one of the floors nearby.

"We may have intruders!" yelled a guard and took out his laser gun. The gang began to shake with anxiety until the Invisibility Cloak fell down and revealed the gang.

"THERE!!!!" yelled a guard pointing at the gang. He then released a laser and another laser and soon all the guards were shooting lasers from different places.

While dodging the lasers, Remus managed to reach his bag that was full of grenades and blasted some of the guards.

"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!" they screamed as they joined the previous guard in the long drop.

"Let's go."

They went under the Invisibility Cloak again and crossed the narrow bridge.

After several more of these Intercross-Chambers and guard blasting (AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!), they reached...

"INTERCROSS-CHAMBER W!!! HOORAY!!!"

They reached a three-way crossroad. One leads back to Intercross-Chamber V, which was where they just blasted some robots, another leading to Intercross-Chamber X, which is the next and one leading to Cell Group W.

"NOW WHERE?!" Ron asked.

Suddenly, a group of men, wearing janitor clothes, rushed to another path.

"ALIEN POO CLEANERS ARE HERE!!!!!"

Dumbledore smiled, "That way."

They walked on to a door. McGonagall looked through the keyhole.

"There are more guards in this group than any other!"

"TAKE A LOOK AT THIS!!!"

Remus pointed to an air vent just beside the door to Cell Group W.

"This leads directly to the Cell Group W!"

Sirius smirked and placed the Butt near the air vent. Tapped it three times and gas shot out of it into the vent.

"P U! John, you've farted again!"

"No I haven't!"

"Yes, you did! And it's worse! I'm going to the bathroom."

"Me too!" They heard a door slam.

"Perfect." Sirius took out the Butt. "Just as I predicted."

They opened the door. There was a long corridor with doors on each side. As you know, houses are placed according to numbers. On a straight road, odd-numbered houses are located on one side while all even-numbered houses are placed on the other. That was the same with the cells. Since Voldemort's cell was odd-numbered, they just have to search at the odd-numbered side only.

"9...11...13...15...17!!!!"

They looked at the door with the number 17 painted on it.

"HOORAY!!" They sang the Teletubbies song once more.

Dumbledore took out his wand and said, "Be cautious from now onwards. Sirius, always have the Butt ready. The rest, gets your wands out."

He opened the door.

A/N: There. End of my chappie! Phew! Anywayz, thanks Jiann Meng for that reclassification of my Insanity Degree and Dark Moon, for your support.

NEXT ON MARAUDERS' BUTT 2: What's behind door no. 17? Find out Dumbledore's passion and the mystery behind Cell W17!

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