A/N: I'm BACK!!! Anywayz how are you? I hope you're turning insane just like me. This time, I will turn SANE for a moment. I know it seems impossible but maybe...

Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights belong to J. K. Rowling. Renzokuken and Terra Break belong to FFVIII which belongs to Squaresoft. Inc. Insanity degree meters belong to BluePrint.

Insanity Degree: 2.35 (Blasted downwards by an atomic nuclear bomb that totally hit the economy down the well with all the bloody stuff and snot came shooting out of their eyes and.......+*Insanity Degree Meter blinks red*)

Chapter 13

The DEADLY Clash of the Titans

Inn D. Pink moved a few steps backwards and raised his hand. A purple cloud appeared beneath his feet and swirled to form to a huge portal, possibly from Hell. He moved his hand down and the portal glowed and out from it, came...

A beast of monstrous horns and purple body. Its red eyes glowed angrily towards the gang and its black wings flapped slowly. Its claws were razor-sharp. No legs were visible. There was no mouth, only a golden duck-bill.

By the look of the height (Give ya a hint, two thirds of the Washington Monument) and size, it was quite obvious it was the most dangerous beast anyone could have came across.

"Have you met my guardian, Marvellando?" Inn said as he patted the beast's head. "I haven't used it for quite a time now..."

Harry gulped. The beast looked EXTREMELY hungry.

"ATTACK!!!!!"

Marvellando, at the sound of the command, loomed over the gang. Sirius got ready his Light Element and stood in attacking position.

Marverllando swooped down and attempted to scratch McGonagall. But her defense was unbelievable. At the last moment, she swung her light beam, thus blocking the attack. Dumbledore rushed forward and slashed at the enemy. Harry, Ron and Hermione instead went to the glass cage and cast the Reducto spell at vulnerable places. Voldemort wasn't helping. Herm was shot with brown muck 15 times.

After Voldemort was free, Harry cast his Elemental Attack on the fiend. Getting the idea, every one of them, did their Elemental Attacks on Marvellando. McGonagall, of Earth, did her Terra Break. But of course, since the enemy was flying, it was pretty useless. Dumbledore, of Poison, did his Needle Attack. Whenever the fiend attacks, it will become weaker and weaker.

"15 MINUTES TO SELF-DESTRUCT!!!!!"

That was the sound of the detonator. Dumbledore wondered, this battle must have been really long.

At last, it was hopeless. They seemed to be tired out and the beast wasn't sweating.

That was, until Voldemort came in. He aimed his big, fat buttocks at the huge Marvellando and shot his diarrhea, thus blinding the beast.

Now, it can't attack because...it can't aim properly.

Dumbledore held his wand and golden flashes formed on the ground. He said the magic word...

RENZOKUKEN!!!!!

Dumbledore rushed towards Marvellando and swerved his wand at the enemy. Sparks flew from the wand. Deafening sounds filled the room. He swung the wand upwards, downwards, to the right, to the left. It was as if he was using a sword. He made a swift diagonal slash before retreating. But that was not over yet.

DARK STAR!!!!!

Dumbledore quickly flew towards the fiend for his finishing blow. He swooped up and drew something in the air with his wand. A green smoke trailed his wand forming a strange symbol. It then turned red and Dumbledore used his wand and blasted the symbol downwards at a tremendous speed. It then formed into a large orb and crushed Marvellando.

At first, the beast was vibrating and all of the sudden, flashes of light burst out and it collapsed to the ground. The corpse disintegrated into dust and flew everywhere.

Inn was shocked when he saw his monster guardian died. "But it ain't over yet, fools! You haven't seen my Phoenix Guardian yet!"

"We're ready."

At Dumbledore's answer, Inn waved his hand. Another purple portal appeared in the air, revealing a purple phoenix. Its body parts were purple from head to legs but its eyes...its eyes were a menacing green. It was Dark Phoenix.

Dumbledore whispered to Hermione, "I already taught you Elemental Attack, now it is time for you to learn your ELEMENTAL DEFENSE."

"Elemental Defense?"

"Pretty simple actually. All you got to do is just think of the Star in the OPPOSITE position of the symbol."

Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated on the symbol.

When she opened her eyes, out of her palms, came some watery stuff. The water twisted about and spread around the gang, forming a hemisphere of pure water surrounding them.

The Dark Phoenix formed a Fire Ball and shot it towards them but when it hit the shield, it totally dissolved.

Dumbledore then formed another portal of yellow and red. Out of it, came a Phoenix of golden colour and red eyes. He ordered, "Fawkes, go."

Fawkes passed through the shield and faced its arch-enemy.

Inn raised his hand. "ATTACK!!!!!!"

At the same time, Dumbledore ordered his Phoenix, "ATTACK!!!"

The two sped towards each other. When they met, a blinding flash appeared.

Outside the building, it seemed like the end of the world as the two Titans clashed. Lightning flashed through the skies. The waves became more violent than usual. Earthquakes began to happen all over the world. Mt. Fuji, which was thought to be extinct, suddenly erupted again. Mt. Everest began to shrink. Tornadoes formed out of nowhere.

Dumbledore commanded, "SONIC HURRICANE!!!!"

Fawkes then flapped its wings and winds started to head towards the enemy. Finally, Fawkes blew on the enemy and a large tornado formed with Dark Phoenix in the middle. Then Fawkes blew once more and the tornado exploded.

Inn with shock commanded his Phoenix, "HYPER INTENSITY!!!!"

Dark Phoenix then flew towards Fawkes and slowly from its head flew into Fawkes' heart. Green flashes blinded everyone and suddenly a loud explosion occurred. Fawkes then collapsed weakly on the ground.

Dumbledore went forward and commanded, "MEGA REPAIRER!!!!!"

Blue beams zoomed towards Fawkes on all sides and yellow stars appeared on the top of its head. Fawkes opened its eyes and flew back into the sky.

Dumbledore immediately ordered, "ULTIMATE STRIKE!!!!!"

Fawkes gathered up red beams and its eyes turned light blue. It blew a tunnel of red towards the enemy and blurred everyone's sight. Fawkes zoomed through the tunnel and was about to make a collision with Dark Phoenix until...

"OMEGA SHIELD!!!!!" Inn commanded.

A dark sphere surrounded Dark Phoenix and symbols appeared on the on the sphere. Dark Phoenix was only seen as a wavy blur.

'DEFEND!!!!" Inn yelled.

The symbols on the sphere turned red and the sphere exploded just as Fawkes was about to ram it. Fawkes was blasted backwards and it landed sliding across the room and hit the wall. Fawkes again turned weak.

"NO!!!!"

Inn smiled, "AIDS!!!!"

"What the..."

Before Dumbledore knew anything, the Dark Phoenix shot a red ball towards Fawkes.

But Dumbledore remained calm. "OMEGA SHIELD!!!"

Fawkes shot back and created a shiny sphere around itself.

Inn was sweating. Dumbledore was using the same cheat.

"DEFEND!!!"

The symbols on Fawkes' shield turned red and the red ball rebounded back onto the Dark Phoenix.

Now, to start the AIDS.

"ICE STRIKE!!!!"

Fawkes flapped its wings once and small particles of ice began to form into sharp icicles and head towards the enemy. They shot in and out of the Phoenix and after 15 times, the icicles floated around and joined together to form one huge arrow of ice and shot through the Dark Phoenix. And if you're unsure about AIDS, AIDS is actually a disease which decreases the Immunity Power of the patient. So, which would mean...

BOOM!!!!

Yellow and purple flashes shot out of the Phoenix as it gave a shriek of pain. Then, the Phoenix exploded, its purple feathers floated around from the impact.

Dumbledore caught one of the feathers and tore it in front of Inn. "Game Over," he said to Inn. But, it wasn't over yet. Dumbledore still had his last command to Fawkes...

"PETRIFY ATTACK!!!"

Fawkes' beak began to turn grey and it pecked Inn with it. "ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!" Inn D. Pink was a statue in 5 seconds.

After dismissing Fawkes, Dumbledore said to them, "Let's go."

He looked at the Detonator. On its digital screen, showed the number 5.00.

"5 minutes to detonation time?!!!" Ron yelled.

"Oh no!!!" Sirius said.

"Yikes!!!" Remus said with shock.

"We have been fighting for quite a time," said Dumbledore calmly.

Harry's eyes opened and turned around to Hermione. He saw her taking out a calculator and she was pressing the buttons quickly. Harry could see she was sweating. Suddenly, she pressed the = button and she lifted her head up.

"RUN!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone zoomed out of the door at supersonic speed.

A/N: Very short. My Insanity Degree has of course dropped tremendously but on the nest chapter you will find that it will...well....*takes out a calculator*. *Hermione storms in*. "GIVE ME BACK MY CALCULATOR OR I WILL KARATE YOU!!!!!!" *Red Scar sticks out his tongue and continues pressing the buttons*. PUNCH!!!!!! *Red Scar has black eye*. *Hermione storms out*. THAT HURTS!!!!! Oh and by the way, on the next chapter....Insanity Degree will be blasted up by a fiery rocket with all the bloody things and urine on it!!!! *Insanity Degree Meter blinks red*.

NEXT ON MARAUDER'S BUTT 2: Will the gang make it out on time? Can they survive? Is Inn D. Pink really dead? Find out more on the next snot-filled chapter *Insanity Degree Meter blinks red*.