A/N: This chapter can be really long, so I decided to put this chapter in to three chapters. OK? I warn you, this chapter is like, like a blood-filled pool with mud and *censor*. *Insanity Degree Meter blinks red*
Disclaimer: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. Harry Potter Publishing Rights belong to J. K. Rowling. Insanity Degree Meters (I think I did not write that in the previous chap.....DON'T SUE ME!!!!!!) belongs to BluePrint. AK-47 rifles belong to some weapon company but I know it doesn't belong to me. The other names of weapons are make-ups.
Insanity Degree: *ERROR (Positive Infinity)*
Chapter 14
The Elude (Part 1)
After Harry blasted a hole on the wall, all they had to do was go through the hole. What that greeted them was a great pit right to the bottom. And you know how tall was the Asylum...
"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!" But some soldiers gathered at the bottom with their sniper rifles ready.
A little too late. In a moment, they were squashed by eight familiar people. They just followed the path until...
They reached a junction. A sign above them showed...
WEAPON GALLERY
"Split up and find yourself a weapon." That was Dumbledore's order. All of them except Voldemort (He didn't need a weapon. He had one at his back way down the body but on top of the legs.)
Harry looked at the walls. Guns were displayed in glass cages. But he didn't want just ANY weapon. He turned to Hermione who was identifying every weapon in the shelves.
"GIM Clennold 5.04 haste rifle, Gorge 90 range blastgun, 100 high-range lasergun, 9.88 medium-range Hortemmold shotgun. None of them fits."
She went to the ammunition area.
"Harvote 45.8 ammo Poison Range, Terra X fire ammo medium-high pitch. 67.93 range 400S X-teris 2020, Long fire 77434 IBG ammo Dark Mode, Modium 498 G-Pack Port low-range high-pitch ammo..."
Harry shook his head and looked through the drawers until he came across what seemed to look like an ordinary pistol. He picked it up and examined what was inside the pistol and used as ammo...
And smirked. He placed the pistol inside his pocket.
Meanwhile, Ron was looking for a different weapon all together. He went past the bazookas and crossbows and rocket launchers. But all they made him do was just yawn.
"WHERE IS MY WEAPON????!!!!" He screamed and jumped up and down...
And crashed through the floor....
And found himself in an old store room. But something inside that store room made him smirk.
A sledge-hammer. Ron picked the heavy object and looked for a test subject...
And he found a concrete bar. Ron raised the sledge-hammer and with an insane laugh, he brought it down.
The concrete bar was dust once the sledge-hammer connected with it. Ron smiled, satisfied with the results, and took it with him.
Sirius was also searching the ULTIMATE weapon and searched everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE. On the walls. he even copied Ron's "idea" and tried crashing through the floor. He looked for a secret passage but all that he found was a bra closet.
That was until he looked at the ceiling.
And saw a large steel sword hanging on four chains.
He took a missile launcher and shot at the chains. The sword then spun in the air to the ground.
Sirius took the sword and an instant surge of power zapped his body for a moment. It was made of hard titanium with steel bars inside and a concrete infrastructure. The hilt was made of extremely light golden material. Sirius examined the hilt and found a red button. He pressed it and sparks of electricity shot out.
Sirius smirked and laughed.
"Backlift 4500Z electro-rifle, I M A B B 60020 high-range flameshot twin pitch pistol, Hectagon STC 200 de-boner Poison Blast, Atom-B 500 Class F acid tornado handgun, 5400 I NOT BONKERS 2250 Rocket deflector Launcher Class Y, ESPN AA56 No sweat but odor EASY packgun. Argh! Nothing fits."
Hermione continued to check back the other side.
Sirius then was walking around showing off his sword until he tripped over something.
"What's this?" said Sirius as he picked a long sophisticated rifle.
"An AASTC-500 high-range Invertospeed polarshot!" said Hermione and ran towards him.
"Wow!" said Sirius and he pulled the trigger...but nothing happened.
"No! NO! You must adjust trigger dial to 50" said Hermione.
"OK. Hey nothing happens."
"Switch the ATB lever to Open Fire."
"Still nothing..."
"Turn momentum shot to 6 ammo Regenerate Fire Blast."
"Ok but still..."
"Activate Lens shot with red shot fire ammo and twist electro-ammo shot!"
"Hmmm....Oh I get it....hey, it still doesn't...."
"Recoil battery pack and activate hatch ammo!"
"Still..."
Hermione sighed and snatched the weapon. She then did a lot of complicated things with the polarshot. She twiddled the knobs, turned the dials, opened and closed hatches and pulled triggers and pressed the buttons. she then twisted the nozzle dial slowly until a click was heard.
"Yeah!"
She pulled the main trigger and an electric ball, with beams of red sparks flying from it, flew slowly from the gun but sped up quickly. The ball then crashed through the wall. The sound of the ball was not heard anymore.........until the gang heard a loud scream.
"My type of weapon!" said Hermione as she recoiled the rifle.
Remus then ran in. "I am DESPERATE for a weapon!!!" He then looked at the hole. "Who made that?"
Hermione answered, "Oh. The Polarshot."
He looked inside the hole. Then, his eyes began to grow big and his mouth began to water.
Sirius smiled, "Okay, so you found another bra cabinet but YOU don't need to drool so please, CARRY ON!!!"
Remus only said, "No. It is the OFFICIAL FIFA WORLD CUP FOOTBALL FEVERNOVA!!!!!!!"
Sirius and Hermione looked inside the hole. At the centre of the secret chamber, there stood a ball inside a glass case.
Remus crashed through the wall and moved as slow as a zombie. He even looked like a zombie.
"Remus? Yoohoo?"
When he finally approached the glass case, he bowed to the glass case as if the ball was an idol or something like that. He walked very slowly and touched the glass case and drooled some more.
"I...must....HAVE IT!!!!!!!!" He took the glass case and shook it and dropped it to the floor Not a crack appeared.
He knocked the case with rifles, bazookas and even Ron's sledge-hammer, but not a single sign that it would break was formed on the exterior.
Sirius remembered something. "I haven't tested my sword yet! Remus, back away! I will break the glass!"
"NO!!!! YOU WILL SLICE MY PRECIOUS BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
But it was too late. Sirius raised his sword high in the air and dropped it onto the case.
"NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
Remus covered his face. He dare not to even look at the sight of it.
SMASH!!!!!
"Yo, Remus! It worked!!"
Remus opened one eye. He saw fragments of glass scattered across the floor. And there, stood the ball, left intact.
He moved slowly towards the ball and touched it. He backed his finger away from it as if the ball was a touch-sensitive mine. But then, he grabbed at the ball and smiled.
"YYYYAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!" He kicked the ball and juggled with his legs and shot at the wall.
It created a hole.
"Wow. I did not guess my strength!"
Hermione looked at the hole and picked up the ball. "No, it's not your strength. I think the ball is not an original."
"YOU MEAN IT'S PIRATED?"
"No, I mean...the Asylum guys must have meddled with the material code and created a titanium-aloid made ball."
"You mean it's...stronger?"
"Yes."
"COOL!!!! I'll have this as my weapon!"
Soon, everyone gathered outside. Harry noticed Dumbledore chose an AK-47 rifle for his weapon. McGonagall had no weapon.
"Where's your weapon, Professor McGonagall?"
"I found none that matches my abilities."
"Let's go."
But as soon as they got out, 2 soldiers jumped down from a bridge.... but fell down into a large pit. BANG!!!! Then, the two soldiers climbed up angrily and aimed their laser rifles at the gang.
"YEEEHAAAA!!!!"
Sirius came forward and sliced the soldier in half while pressing the button, so the soldier had an electric chop didn't he?
"YIKER BONKA!!!!!" shouted the remaining guard and ran away...but Ron ran forward and smashed the soldier's head into pieces with his sledge hammer. The headless guard then fell down. Just for kicks, Sirius sliced it in half.
The gang then continued the journey until they found 3 soldiers jumping from a bridge......but smashed into the wall. When all 3 of them got to their feet. The first tester was coming up.
"BOO!" yelled Dumbledore.
"AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!" yelled a soldier but Dumbledore pulled the trigger of his rifle and it clicked, "Out of ammo?!!!!"
The soldiers laughed.
"SHUT UP!!!!!!"
Dumbledore smashed one of the soldier's head into pieces with his rifle.
"BOBO KERISMA CYROKUKU!!!!"
The 2 soldiers ran away but Hermione came out already. She twisted a few dials and pulled the trigger. The electric ball shot out and hit a soldier.
"BLUEAH HUALCH!!!!!" yelled the soldier and shook all over. He turned green before splitting into two.
"WHOA!!!!!" said Hermione and recoiled the polarshot.
"MAMA WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!!!" yelled the remaining soldier and ran away. Remus came out.
"I will do my Terror Over-the-hill Frontal Inward Roller-wheel Somersault Spinner Shot Kick Trick."
Remus threw his ball in the air and he jumped up. He spun 500 times, somersaulted and kicked the ball. The ball hit the soldier causing him to fall down. The ball bounced back to the landing Remus and did a bicycle kick and blasted the ball to the soldier and Remus slammed on him. The ball shot up and Remus punched it on the guard's *ahem*. The ball flew off the wall and Remus somersaulted and did a header and rolled in the air and bicycle kicked the ball to the other end of the room. It bounced off the wall just as Remus ran forward and bicycle kicked the ball towards the guard at high speed and it ripped off his head from his neck.
"Just for kicks I will do my Smash Crash Dash Shot-Down the Showdown Bash Playoff!!!!"
Remus somersaulted in the air and threw his ball and blasted the ball onto the floor. The force made it bounce off and he punched the ball at the headless guard's *ahem* and the guard flew off and crashed through the wall.
And you know that the wall was the side of the Space Asylum and you know that the building was on top of a tall mountain so.....
BANG!!!!!!
Now he's really dead.
Voice: HE IS NOT DEAD!!!! HE IS NOT DEAD!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Red Scar: SHUT UP FRED AND GEORGE AND YOU AIN'T GOT NO NOTHING TO DON'T DIDN'T FIX THAT RADIO AMPLIFIER WITH YOUR NOT NO LOUD MICROPHONE WITH THAT NOT NO LOUD VOICE AND GET YOUR NOT NO BLOODY BODIES OUT OF THIS NOT NO NICE STUDIO.
Fred and George: How many negatives are there in that sentence anyway?
Red Scar: I AIN'T DON'T CARE AND AIN'T DON'T KNOW HOW MANY NOT NO NEGATIVES IN THAT NOT NO NEGATIVE SENTENCE.
Fred and George: Red Scar is kinda getting multiple negative today huh? *walks out of the door*
Red Scar: DON'T NO GET OUT OF THIS NO NOT BIG STUDIO WHICH IS USED FOR MY NOT NO INSANE STORY THAT IS NOT NO ABOUT NO NOTHING.
Fred and George: Bye!
Red Scar: YOU DON'T KNOW I DON'T DIDN'T NEVER AIN'T GOT NOT NO NOTHING!!!!!!
Ron asked, "Hey, Harry. What's your weapon?"
Harry replied, "Erm...well, hey! McGonagall hasn't shown her weapon yet!"
At the same time, two soldiers jumped out of a cliff.......and landed head-first in front of them. Suddenly, McGonagall jumped and kicked at a soldier. "HIYA!!!!!!" She looked around and found a concrete pipe near the wall. She invincibly and majestically BROKE the pipe and swung at the two. She pushed one to the wall and keep on knocking the concrete pipe on his head until his head broke to pieces. She swung at the other soldier and hit his *ahem* and the guy screamed like hell. She took both legs and cracked them, thus paralyzing him. Holding the legs, she swung the soldier round and round in the air as if she was de-gnoming or something like that and threw him out of the building.
Ron looked at Harry, "I wonder what kind of detention she will be giving us next year."
But it was found another soldier decided to join the testing room. Harry quickly lunged for a lever and pulled it. An emergency shutter dropped near the soldier thus trapping him. Harry took out his pistol and aimed.
"W-Who are you?"
"Name's Potter," he replied as he recoiled the pistol, loading it with the "dangerous" ammo.
"Harry Potter."
He pulled the trigger and instantly, an underwear with a white background and red-polka dots shot out and wrapped itself round the soldier's head. Ron immediately took the chance and sledge-hammered his head.
After doing so, he told Harry, "I want that weapon!"
"No, it's mine! I found it first so it's mine!" He stuck out his tongue.
Dumbledore said, "Now, no quarreling. I got an empty rifle. Go on."
Suddenly, Dumbledore found a long and wide rifle on the floor.
"A Glenn 90600 ATV Nobel Super-horror MISSILE LAUNCHER!!!!!!" exclaimed a Granger who had a humungous memory of everything.
"I see," said Dumbledore as he picked it up, "Let me see....there is no recoiling or anything is there?"
Hermione sighed and said, "The Glenn 90600 ATV Nobel Super-horror Missile Launcher does not have anything hard. Just pull the trigger. Really, all of you must take Muggle Studies."
Dumbledore pulled the trigger.
A small rocket shot out from the nozzle but then enlarged into a full-sized missile before it activated its booster rockets and zoomed through the wall and crashed more walls on the other rooms until its sound was not heard again......until a loud scream and an EXTREMELY loud boom.
"WHOA!!!!"
Debris flew out of the holes followed by screaming people on fire.
"My type of powerful weapon," said Dumbledore and spun his weapon by the trigger.
They ran into an elevator. Taking the chance, they boarded the elevator. When they arrived at the top, they found themselves in a place that looked a lot like a control room. (Wait a second. It was a control room.)
Buttons and screens filled the area, but only one thing caught the eye of the gang.
A black joystick. Dumbledore examined it and looked through the large glass window. He saw a large red missile launcher. He twirled the joystick around to see whether the joystick actually controlling the missile launcher.
The launcher moved the same direction as the joystick.
Nearby, a screen was showing the World Map. Two red dots were blinking at the same location as the Space Asylum.
Sirius noticed, "Hey! They have been tracking us all the time!"
"Or should I say," Dumbledore corrected him. "Harry and I only, since we were in space during that time."
Remus looked at the map closely. "This map must have been operated by satellites. About four of them."
Dumbledore found an idea. "Remus, could you make the map of the satellites' location?"
Remus Lupin, the well-known control-hacker (During his time, the Marauders always asked his help to hack into the Slytherin common room to plant some Dungbombs.), punched in some buttons and at a large screen, plopped in the image of the Earth and four blue dots located near the image. The satellites, Dumbledore presumed.
He looked at the image of the Earth closely and looked for his position in the map. Then, using Mental Algebra, he twirled the joystick until the launcher was roughly aiming for the first satellite and finally, he pressed the red button on the joystick.
A missile was launched into the sky and above, they saw a small mid-air explosion. Part of the World Map dissolved and one of the blue dots on the other map disappeared.
Dumbledore dissolved two other satellites until there was one more. He did not explode that satellite.
He explained, "I devised another theory on how to make the Muggles around the world forget about "aliens". But just for the moment..."
He looked at a giant satellite dish near the control room. "Sirius, what will happen if I Obliviate the satellite dish?"
"Well, the satellite dish will be erm...obliviated?"
"Exactly. Now, what will happen to the signals the satellite dish sends?"
"The signals the dish will send will be replaced with Obliviated signals and sent through the air. Pretty simple."
"What happens to those signals?"
"The satellite you did not destroy will pick up the signals."
"And will be therefore..."
"Obliviated."
"And the signals it will send back will be obliviated as well and will jam most of the computers here. Every single electronic thing here will send the obliviated signals and anyone who see or hear them will be obliviated."
"Now, what happens to the OTHER satellites orbiting the Earth at the same time?"
"The signals the Obliviated satellite sends will also interfere with the other satellites so the other satellites will pick up the signals...and become obliviated?"
"I see you're catching up with my plan. Now, the satellites will send more signals to the Earth, right?"
"Yes, and the TV and radio stations will pick them up and sent through cable, right into Muggle homes."
"Now, this is the final part of the plan. What will happen to every single Muggle who happens to be hearing the radio or watching the TV?"
"They will become OBLIVIATED!!! BRILLIANT PLAN, PROFESSOR! BRILLIANT! But, will it work?"
Dumbledore sighed. "I don't know. But we must try."
He looked at Harry and Ron. "Harry, you will have to go an type a message. It doesn't have to be logic. The objective of the message is to make the satellite dish send something through the air so that the signals can be replaced. Got it?"
"Got it!"
Harry and Ron rushed to a nearby computer and started typing about Hermione Granger, the Living Brain. Ron was enjoying himself. "Harry! Take a look at this!" He typed very slowly four letters into the screen.
"Hey! You typed in the F WORD!!!"
"But no one is going to see the message. It's going to be replaced, ya know."
"Remember, Harry," Dumbledore said. "When I say Obliviate, you press the Submit button. Clear?"
He aimed his wand at the satellite dish and very slowly, he said. "OBLIVIATE!!!!!"
At the same time, Harry pushed the "SUBMIT" button.
A green laser beam shot from his wand and crashed through the window. It went further until it hit the dish.
"It's over."
Harry was shocked. "That quick?"
"The waves will travel as fast as the speed of light," Dumbledore explained.
Suddenly, Dumbledore's digital watch made an alarm. He looked at it. A message came out:
OVERTIME
"Overtime?" Dumbledore wondered. "What overtime?"
A/N: Oooohhhh. How I LOVE cliffhangers. They are so FUN!!! I will not put any previews for the next part to make this story SO EXCITING!!!!!! The readers of this story will enter excessive severe suspense that they will go MAD to see the next parts! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *censor* What do you think, guys? Guys? *sees people carrying axes and tridents walking towards Red Scar with signs saying "WE KILL CLIFFHANGER AUTHORS!"* Uh, oh. That looks like trouble. Erm...bye! *runs from scene as protestors fire grenades at him* *EXTREMELY LOUD CENSOR from protestors*