Recoome's Candy Shop of Doom
This is a story of a little boy (Goten) who goes to a candy shop with his father to get a lollipop, where they meet a quite undead "super villain", and more adding to the list as the fic continues. ^_^ Hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ, any of its characters, any of the quotes, or anything else I may mention in my fic (EXCEPT THE LOLLIPOPS!!!).
"Daddy, Daddy, here's the store!" A little boy came running into the candy shop that day to see a man smiling at him.
"My name is Recoome, and it rhymes with doom! How may I help you?"
"Um…" Goten looked the manager of the store up and down. He wore a re apron and a red hat with two white stripes running along the sides. He also wore a red, rectangular button with black text that said "Recoome" in capital letters.
"Goten, wait-" Goku spotted the man behind the counter. "Recoome!?"
"Hiya, Goku!" Recoome greeted Goten's father. "Where have you been all these years?!"
"Around," Goku told him. "How come you're not dead…?"
"Well, you know how us *super*-" Recoome flexed his muscles. "-villains just keep coming back!"
"Oh, right," Goku nodded. "Say, Recoome, you got any lollipops?"
"Sure! How about the lollipop…" Recoome pulled a *huge* lollipop out and set it down on the counter with a "thud". He stared into Goten's eyes and said: "Of *death*!"
Goten grabbed Goku's pant leg and leaned backwards a bit. "No, I don't think that's any good." Goku said, looking at the lollipop in a puzzled way.
"You're a smart man, I can tell!" Recoome told Goku, pointing at him. Goku smiled. "So why don't you try-" Recoome pulled an even *bigger* lollipop onto the counter. "-the one *ton* lollipop of death!"
Goku and Goten stared as Recoome looked back and forth between the two, mouth slightly open. He swallowed and pointed back and forth between the two. "I can tell you two are related. Same…*dull* expression…"
Recoome looked beneath the counter, then back up at the two to see they were still staring. He cleared his throat and looked beneath the counter again. "Yeah, definitely…" He glanced at them and nodded. "Related!"
"Now how about-" Recoome pulled a lollipop even *bigger* than the first two put together onto the counter. "-the *ten* ton lollipop of death!"
The father and son continued staring. Recoome leaned forward, hand cupped to his mouth, and whispered: "Now I'm gonna tell you a secret: this baby-" He patted the ten ton lollipop. "-lasts for *fifteen* years!"
"Whoa!" Goten reached forward to take it, when his father held him back.
"Don't touch it, child," Goku told his son. "It's evil!"
"Then maybe you'd be interested in the *fifteen* ton lollipop of death!" Goku and Goten groaned.
*~*~*
"You *still* aren't through?" Goku asked.
"Hang on, now, I'm almost through!" Recoome told them, holding up a finger. Goku sighed. "Now, for the *grand* finale!" Recoome declared. "The-" Recoome grunted as he pulled on something behind the counter. "The-" Recoome smiled at his clients as he panted. "Hang on a second! FRIEZA!!!!!!"
"What!?" They all turned to see a very ticked off looking Frieza. He wore the same apron, with the same hat, and *would* be wearing the same button if his said "Recoome" instead of "Frieza".
"I need some help!" Recoome told his employee. Not wanting to get fired, Frieza sighed and walked over to help.
"You pick it up like this!" Frieza pulled up n a long, white lollipop stick. It didn't budge. "Well!" Frieza shifted his weight and tried to lift it again. No such luck.
"See?" Recoome asked.
"Hang on a sec," Frieza told him. He disappeared, then reappeared with another man a second later.
"Raditz!?" Goku stared.
"Heya, bro!" Raditz said, waving. He wore the *same* dorky uniform as Frieza and Recoome. He turned to his employer. "Now what seems to be the problem?"
"I can't lift the lollipop!"
"Really? Weird…" Goten looked up at Goku.
"Daddy, I just want a normal lollipop," Goten told his father. "Is that too much to ask?"
"I don't know, Goten," Goku said. He shook his head and looked back up at the candy shop workers. "I *don't* know…"
*~*~*
"On three!" Frieza told them all. The group was made of Jeice, Burter, Raditz, Frieza, Recoome, Nappa, Captain Ginyu, and Dodoria. (A/n: oh, Dende, if I forgot anyone, they're working at Babidi's Gas Station! *gets idea* hey…)
"One! Two!" They were all counting down. "Thr-"
"Five!" They all slowly turned and looked at Nappa. "…what!?"
They all sighed and shook their head. "Guys, if this is too much trouble-"
"Oh, there's *no* such thing!" Recoome told them. "We'll be done in a second or two!"
"LIFT!!!" Raditz commanded. They all lifted the *gigantic* lollipop into the air and set it down on the counter. The counter shattered like glass under the lollipop's tremendous weight, and they all stared down at the unscathed lollipop.
"…the two thousand ton lollipop of death!" Recoome declared after a moment of silence.
"Oh, *please*!" All of the employees walked off muttering things under their breath.
"Yeah, you guys go and order another one!" Recoome cleared his throat. "Yeah!" Recoome turned to his customers. "So what'll it be?"
"Um, sir? U just want a *regular* lollipop!" Goten told him. Recoome stared for a moment.
"A *regular* lollipop!?" Recoome said suddenly, causing his two customers to jump. "What the heck ya want a *regular* lollipop for when you can have a F300!?"
"An 'F300'?" Goten repeated, completely clueless.
"The F300," Recoome said, holding up a normal sized lollipop. "It combusts when ya lick it!" The two were silent. Recoome sighed at their oblivious stares. "It catches on fire, ya'll. It catches on fire."
"Oh!" They nodded in unison, finally understanding what an F300 was.
"Well," Goten began. "My mom tells me not to play with fire…"
"Your mom's wrong, son," Recoome told him." Your momma's *wrong*…" Recoome spotted Goku's evil glare and quickly covered: "But she's right! She's *completely* right!"
"Mr. Recoome, you aren't making any sense-"
"Shut up, child! You don't know what yer talkin about!" Recoome threw the F300 across the shop, making it land about five feet down the aisle behind his customers. "If you can't play with fire, how about you try an B500?"
"An 'B500'?" This time, both of the patrons repeated it.
"The B500-" Recoome held up another regular sized lollipop. "-blows up when you lick it. Give it to one of your friends and-" Recoome went wide-eyed. "-poof! It blows up in their faces!"
Recoome started laughing. "Come on, Goten, it's time to go!"
"These things get the *greatest* expressions!" Recoome exclaimed through his laughter. He realized they were leaving. "Now ya'll come back soon!" Recoome waved. He went back to laughing as soon as they left.
*~*~*
"The *candy* shop!!!" Another little boy came running into his shop that day, not knowing he would be leaving with nightmares. Just joking!
"Just remember your mother said you and I could have *one* lollipop *each*!"
"Okay!" The boy started to run up and down the aisles, trying to find a lollipop he liked. His father came walking in behind him, looking very disgruntled.
"Stupid candy is ruining my boy's health!" He picked up a bag of Jelly Beans. "Nasty little innutritious beans!"
He threw them down in disgust. "Vegeta!?"
"Hm?" Vegeta looked up to see Recoome standing there with a big grin. Vegeta screamed and shielded his face: "AH! Get away from me!"
"So how may I help you?" Recoome asked.
"Oh, right," Vegeta quickly regained his composure. "I need the biggest, the heaviest, and *hardest* lollipop there is."
"Then that would be the two thousand ton lollipop of death!" Recoome told him, gesturing at the gigantic lollipop on the floor. Vegeta smirked.
"Excellent!" Vegeta handed Recoome a handful of money and picked it up with ease. "I'll take it!"
"Dad! Dad! I got a lollipop-" Trunks spotted the two thousand ton lollipop and dropped his normal sized one. He grinned. "*I* want one!"
"Gimme! Give! Give! Give!" Trunks started hopping around below Vegeta, trying to grab the lollipop.
"No! Trunks! This is bad for your health!" Vegeta told his son as he continued hopping around below.
"I want one! I want one!" Trunks declared, still trying to grab the lollipop.
"I have plenty out-"
"SHHHH!!!!" Vegeta hushed Recoome. While Vegeta wasn't looking, Trunks had grabbed a hold of the lollipop's stick. But he had no idea it would *weigh* so much! Suddenly, all of the weight was lifted from Vegeta's arms and there was the sound of shattering glass. They all looked down at Trunks.
"Oopsies…" Trunks said, looking down at the shattered lollipop.
"YOU FOOL!" Vegeta scolded his son, grabbing his ear.
"Ow ow ow!" Trunks cried. THE PAIN!!!!!
"Now I can't drop it on Kakarott's head! Just you wait until your mother gets a hold of you! *She'll* get you for this!"
"Um, bye!" Recoome waved after them. He sighed and flipped through the money Vegeta had handed him before picking up the lollipop. He smiled. "At least now I've got tips for everybody!"
"Guys! Guys!" Recoome ran into the back of his shop, waving the money around.
"What???" Came angry voices.
"Look at what *I* have!!!"
"GET HIM!!!" There was the sound of thuds, 'ouches', punching, kicking, and all sorts of domestic violence happening in the storage room of Recoome's Candy Shop of Doom.
The End
I don't think that's *quite* as funny as I thought it would be... but, then again, maybe it was! You guys review and tell me what you think!
Special Thanks to: Sister, brothers, and fans.
This is a story of a little boy (Goten) who goes to a candy shop with his father to get a lollipop, where they meet a quite undead "super villain", and more adding to the list as the fic continues. ^_^ Hope you enjoy!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own DBZ, any of its characters, any of the quotes, or anything else I may mention in my fic (EXCEPT THE LOLLIPOPS!!!).
"Daddy, Daddy, here's the store!" A little boy came running into the candy shop that day to see a man smiling at him.
"My name is Recoome, and it rhymes with doom! How may I help you?"
"Um…" Goten looked the manager of the store up and down. He wore a re apron and a red hat with two white stripes running along the sides. He also wore a red, rectangular button with black text that said "Recoome" in capital letters.
"Goten, wait-" Goku spotted the man behind the counter. "Recoome!?"
"Hiya, Goku!" Recoome greeted Goten's father. "Where have you been all these years?!"
"Around," Goku told him. "How come you're not dead…?"
"Well, you know how us *super*-" Recoome flexed his muscles. "-villains just keep coming back!"
"Oh, right," Goku nodded. "Say, Recoome, you got any lollipops?"
"Sure! How about the lollipop…" Recoome pulled a *huge* lollipop out and set it down on the counter with a "thud". He stared into Goten's eyes and said: "Of *death*!"
Goten grabbed Goku's pant leg and leaned backwards a bit. "No, I don't think that's any good." Goku said, looking at the lollipop in a puzzled way.
"You're a smart man, I can tell!" Recoome told Goku, pointing at him. Goku smiled. "So why don't you try-" Recoome pulled an even *bigger* lollipop onto the counter. "-the one *ton* lollipop of death!"
Goku and Goten stared as Recoome looked back and forth between the two, mouth slightly open. He swallowed and pointed back and forth between the two. "I can tell you two are related. Same…*dull* expression…"
Recoome looked beneath the counter, then back up at the two to see they were still staring. He cleared his throat and looked beneath the counter again. "Yeah, definitely…" He glanced at them and nodded. "Related!"
"Now how about-" Recoome pulled a lollipop even *bigger* than the first two put together onto the counter. "-the *ten* ton lollipop of death!"
The father and son continued staring. Recoome leaned forward, hand cupped to his mouth, and whispered: "Now I'm gonna tell you a secret: this baby-" He patted the ten ton lollipop. "-lasts for *fifteen* years!"
"Whoa!" Goten reached forward to take it, when his father held him back.
"Don't touch it, child," Goku told his son. "It's evil!"
"Then maybe you'd be interested in the *fifteen* ton lollipop of death!" Goku and Goten groaned.
*~*~*
"You *still* aren't through?" Goku asked.
"Hang on, now, I'm almost through!" Recoome told them, holding up a finger. Goku sighed. "Now, for the *grand* finale!" Recoome declared. "The-" Recoome grunted as he pulled on something behind the counter. "The-" Recoome smiled at his clients as he panted. "Hang on a second! FRIEZA!!!!!!"
"What!?" They all turned to see a very ticked off looking Frieza. He wore the same apron, with the same hat, and *would* be wearing the same button if his said "Recoome" instead of "Frieza".
"I need some help!" Recoome told his employee. Not wanting to get fired, Frieza sighed and walked over to help.
"You pick it up like this!" Frieza pulled up n a long, white lollipop stick. It didn't budge. "Well!" Frieza shifted his weight and tried to lift it again. No such luck.
"See?" Recoome asked.
"Hang on a sec," Frieza told him. He disappeared, then reappeared with another man a second later.
"Raditz!?" Goku stared.
"Heya, bro!" Raditz said, waving. He wore the *same* dorky uniform as Frieza and Recoome. He turned to his employer. "Now what seems to be the problem?"
"I can't lift the lollipop!"
"Really? Weird…" Goten looked up at Goku.
"Daddy, I just want a normal lollipop," Goten told his father. "Is that too much to ask?"
"I don't know, Goten," Goku said. He shook his head and looked back up at the candy shop workers. "I *don't* know…"
*~*~*
"On three!" Frieza told them all. The group was made of Jeice, Burter, Raditz, Frieza, Recoome, Nappa, Captain Ginyu, and Dodoria. (A/n: oh, Dende, if I forgot anyone, they're working at Babidi's Gas Station! *gets idea* hey…)
"One! Two!" They were all counting down. "Thr-"
"Five!" They all slowly turned and looked at Nappa. "…what!?"
They all sighed and shook their head. "Guys, if this is too much trouble-"
"Oh, there's *no* such thing!" Recoome told them. "We'll be done in a second or two!"
"LIFT!!!" Raditz commanded. They all lifted the *gigantic* lollipop into the air and set it down on the counter. The counter shattered like glass under the lollipop's tremendous weight, and they all stared down at the unscathed lollipop.
"…the two thousand ton lollipop of death!" Recoome declared after a moment of silence.
"Oh, *please*!" All of the employees walked off muttering things under their breath.
"Yeah, you guys go and order another one!" Recoome cleared his throat. "Yeah!" Recoome turned to his customers. "So what'll it be?"
"Um, sir? U just want a *regular* lollipop!" Goten told him. Recoome stared for a moment.
"A *regular* lollipop!?" Recoome said suddenly, causing his two customers to jump. "What the heck ya want a *regular* lollipop for when you can have a F300!?"
"An 'F300'?" Goten repeated, completely clueless.
"The F300," Recoome said, holding up a normal sized lollipop. "It combusts when ya lick it!" The two were silent. Recoome sighed at their oblivious stares. "It catches on fire, ya'll. It catches on fire."
"Oh!" They nodded in unison, finally understanding what an F300 was.
"Well," Goten began. "My mom tells me not to play with fire…"
"Your mom's wrong, son," Recoome told him." Your momma's *wrong*…" Recoome spotted Goku's evil glare and quickly covered: "But she's right! She's *completely* right!"
"Mr. Recoome, you aren't making any sense-"
"Shut up, child! You don't know what yer talkin about!" Recoome threw the F300 across the shop, making it land about five feet down the aisle behind his customers. "If you can't play with fire, how about you try an B500?"
"An 'B500'?" This time, both of the patrons repeated it.
"The B500-" Recoome held up another regular sized lollipop. "-blows up when you lick it. Give it to one of your friends and-" Recoome went wide-eyed. "-poof! It blows up in their faces!"
Recoome started laughing. "Come on, Goten, it's time to go!"
"These things get the *greatest* expressions!" Recoome exclaimed through his laughter. He realized they were leaving. "Now ya'll come back soon!" Recoome waved. He went back to laughing as soon as they left.
*~*~*
"The *candy* shop!!!" Another little boy came running into his shop that day, not knowing he would be leaving with nightmares. Just joking!
"Just remember your mother said you and I could have *one* lollipop *each*!"
"Okay!" The boy started to run up and down the aisles, trying to find a lollipop he liked. His father came walking in behind him, looking very disgruntled.
"Stupid candy is ruining my boy's health!" He picked up a bag of Jelly Beans. "Nasty little innutritious beans!"
He threw them down in disgust. "Vegeta!?"
"Hm?" Vegeta looked up to see Recoome standing there with a big grin. Vegeta screamed and shielded his face: "AH! Get away from me!"
"So how may I help you?" Recoome asked.
"Oh, right," Vegeta quickly regained his composure. "I need the biggest, the heaviest, and *hardest* lollipop there is."
"Then that would be the two thousand ton lollipop of death!" Recoome told him, gesturing at the gigantic lollipop on the floor. Vegeta smirked.
"Excellent!" Vegeta handed Recoome a handful of money and picked it up with ease. "I'll take it!"
"Dad! Dad! I got a lollipop-" Trunks spotted the two thousand ton lollipop and dropped his normal sized one. He grinned. "*I* want one!"
"Gimme! Give! Give! Give!" Trunks started hopping around below Vegeta, trying to grab the lollipop.
"No! Trunks! This is bad for your health!" Vegeta told his son as he continued hopping around below.
"I want one! I want one!" Trunks declared, still trying to grab the lollipop.
"I have plenty out-"
"SHHHH!!!!" Vegeta hushed Recoome. While Vegeta wasn't looking, Trunks had grabbed a hold of the lollipop's stick. But he had no idea it would *weigh* so much! Suddenly, all of the weight was lifted from Vegeta's arms and there was the sound of shattering glass. They all looked down at Trunks.
"Oopsies…" Trunks said, looking down at the shattered lollipop.
"YOU FOOL!" Vegeta scolded his son, grabbing his ear.
"Ow ow ow!" Trunks cried. THE PAIN!!!!!
"Now I can't drop it on Kakarott's head! Just you wait until your mother gets a hold of you! *She'll* get you for this!"
"Um, bye!" Recoome waved after them. He sighed and flipped through the money Vegeta had handed him before picking up the lollipop. He smiled. "At least now I've got tips for everybody!"
"Guys! Guys!" Recoome ran into the back of his shop, waving the money around.
"What???" Came angry voices.
"Look at what *I* have!!!"
"GET HIM!!!" There was the sound of thuds, 'ouches', punching, kicking, and all sorts of domestic violence happening in the storage room of Recoome's Candy Shop of Doom.
The End
I don't think that's *quite* as funny as I thought it would be... but, then again, maybe it was! You guys review and tell me what you think!
Special Thanks to: Sister, brothers, and fans.