TITLE: The one who saved me.
AUTHOR: Melissa Orr
PAIRING: CJ/Toby
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, never will.
"Toby Ziegler!" CJ ran down into the communications bullpen screaming
"He's not here," Ginger said softly, she could tell CJ wanted to kill someone.
"Where the hell is he?" CJ screamed walking into Toby's office. "I just saw him come in!"
"He, uh, had a meeting," Ginger said quietly again.
"Oh yeah," CJ said sarcastically while walking behind Toby's desk. "Is that right?" CJ grinned a little and kicked as hard as she could under Toby's desk.
"OUCH!" Toby screamed from under his desk, but still didn't move.
"Ginger, please shut the door. I'll deal with you later," CJ screamed.
"Ok!" CJ bent down and grabbed Toby by the shirt and dragged him to his feet.
"That hurts!" Toby screamed.
"Good!" CJ groaned. "But this is nothing compared to the pain your going to be feeling in a minute," CJ screamed.
"I'm right here, you don't have to yell," Toby said just before CJ punched him with all her might in the stomach.
Toby got a small groan out before falling to his knees.
"Next time, stay out of my business!" CJ screamed while walking out of his office. CJ stormed back to her office not even noticing all the people who had gathered outside Toby's office. One of them being Sam, who after CJ stormed out, walked into this bosses office.
"Toby, where are you?" Sam said as he walked in, not seeing Toby right away until he walked closer behind his desk. Toby was lying on his side in a ball. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Toby barley got out.
For the rest of the day, Toby found it hard to move. He knew CJ was strong, but he didn't have any idea she was that strong. He avoided her most of the day. He decided to go to the last briefing of the day. At least she wouldn't go after him there with all the press around. Well, he hoped she wouldn't.
"CJ, one more question. What is this I hear about Toby Ziegler being arrested last night? I have a source that tells me that he spent the night in jail. Could you clarify any of that?"
"Like I said before, we don't comment on the personal lives of the staff. That's all," CJ said all in one breath and walked quickly out of the pressroom.
"Toby was arrested last night?" Carol asked as she caught up to CJ. "What happened?"
"Nothing!" CJ yelled and slammed her office door behind her. Carol took a deep breath and went back to work.
"Hey, what's this I hear about you being arrested last night? They finally catch up with you and all those speeding tickets?" Josh said while coming into Toby's office.
"Go away!" Toby groaned.
"I'm just curious. CJ has really been pissed all day, and she's mostly directing that anger towards you."
"Who the hell are you, her therapist? Go away!" Toby yelled.
"Well, I was just wondering." Josh started but then realized the deadly glare Toby was giving him. ".Where I should off to next. See ya." Josh said quickly while running out of the office.
CJ was lying on her couch when she heard someone knock on the door.
"Yeah?" CJ asked.
"Hey," Carol walked in and shut the door behind her. "Here are the papers you asked for." Carol said quietly.
"Thanks," CJ sat up and took the papers, and then she looked up at Carol. "I'm sorry I yelled at you today."
"Don't worry about it, I'm used to getting the really pissed off CJ," Carol laughed, as did CJ. "You want to talk about it?"
"It's okay," CJ said, but unsurely.
"I'll listen."
CJ smiled and motioned for Carol to sit down.
"Is it Toby?" Carol asked.
"How did you guess?" CJ smiled.
"Well, the first thing you did this morning was run down the hall bellowing his name and then went into his office and yelled at him for something. And you punched him in the stomach. Poor boy hasn't been able to walk normal all day." Carol joked.
"You know the questions the reporter asked today?"
"Yeah. The one about Toby being arrested?"
"Yeah," CJ looked down. "Well. He was."
"For what?" Carol looked surprised.
"He was involved in a bar fight last night."
"Toby Ziegler was in a fight?" Carol asked confused. "Our Toby?"
"Our Toby," CJ answered back.
"I didn't see any marks on him. No black eye or anything."
"That's because the guy he was fighting with didn't even get one punch in," CJ yelled. "So Toby beat the living hell out of the guy, puts him in the hospital, and then calls my ass at three in the morning to bail his ass out," CJ started walking around her office.
"Is that why your mad at him, because you had to get up and bail him out?"
"That's part of it," CJ said quietly. "The rest had a major part in it though."
"Which was?" Carol was now too interested to give up now.
"The guy he beat up used to be my husband," CJ stopped and looked at Carol.
"I never knew you were married."
"I was, for about two days."
"What happened?"
"That part I don't feel comfortable telling many people."
"CJ, who am I going to tell? My cats? You trust me?" Carol smiled.
"Yeah."
"Then please let me know."
CJ sat back down in her chair and leaned back.
"He hit me." CJ said quietly. "Not once, but many, many times. I told people, when they asked about the marks on my face, that I fell down the stairs, or I tripped. I'm a klutz, so they believed me. That is, everyone besides Toby. You see, I have known Toby for about 20 years. He knows everything about me. Either I tell him, or he finds out on his own. That's something else that bothers me, Toby knows every single little thing about me, and I barley know anything about him." CJ tried to change the subject.
"CJ." Carol sat up stunned. "I had no idea."
"No one does, that's why I don't tell a lot of people. I hate people feeling sorry for me. I want to handle things on my own, and when Toby did what he did last night, it just brought back every memory I have been trying to get rid of for the past 10 years. Jack, that's the guy I was married to, he left soon after I left him. See, Toby found out about what was happening and he took me to his place and, well, kidnapped is a good word to use. He locked me in a room because I kept telling him that Jack would change. I had the idea in my head that told me that he was going to change. That one day, he would stop hitting me. Now, I realized Toby was right, as much as I hate to say that, but he was. Jack was never going to change. I know that now. What scares me is what would have happened if I stayed with Jack? What would have happened to me?" CJ felt tears slide down her face. Carol got up and walked over to CJ.
"But that would have never happened. I think Toby would have killed you if you went back to him," Carol smiled. CJ got up and hugged Carol.
"Thanks for putting up with all my crap," CJ laughed.
"Hey, it's pretty good money," Carol joked. "Can I tell you what I think?"
"Of course."
"I think you might want to think about apologizing to Toby." Carol said hoping CJ wouldn't deck her.
"Why would I apologize to that baboon?"
"Think about it," Carol smiled. "Can I go home?"
"Yeah, go ahead," CJ smiled and hugged Carol again. "Thanks again."
"Your welcome. Don't stay to late, get some sleep."
"Yeah, yeah," CJ smiled as Carol walked out and shut the door.
CJ sat down on her couch again and looked at Gail.
"Apologize to moron, for what? Controlling my life yet again!" CJ yelled at herself. "What are you looking at?" CJ yelled at her fish. "I'm not going to," CJ looked at Gail again. "NO!" CJ started packing up her things and saw that Gail was still looking at her. "Fine, fine. I'll do it your way, but I still don't think I should," CJ yelled. "Well, maybe I should, but I don't want to," CJ stopped before walking out. "He did save me, and more then once hasn't he?" CJ whispered to herself. "Damn him!" She yelled while slamming her door.
Toby just finished his dinner and drove back to his house. When he pulled into the driveway, he noticed a car in his spot. He parked behind it and tried to place the car, but couldn't really tell whose it was because it was so dark. He got out and walked over to it, but gave up and started to walk towards the door. He walked up to the door and started to unlock it.
"Hey moron." CJ said. Toby jumped. "Sorry, I scare ya?" CJ said with no enthusiasm.
"Ya think!" Toby put his hand over his heart to calm the fast pace it was now having.
"Sorry," CJ still looked un-enthused.
"What the hell are you doing here, you come to knock me over again. Maybe you want to hit my face this time. Maybe break my nose!" Toby screamed while unlocking the door.
"By the way, you're not invited in my home," Toby smiled quickly.
"Fine, screw you then!" CJ screamed while getting up and walking down the steps.
"Fine!" Toby screamed back.
"Fine!" CJ started walking off when she heard the door slam. "Damn him!"
She walked back up to his door and knocked. He didn't answer, so she started banging.
"I can be out here all night if you want me too," CJ yelled just as Toby flew open the door.
"What!"
"I didn't come here to fight with you, you stubborn ass!"
"Oh, I'm stubborn? Think about that one Claudia!" Toby yelled back.
"Yes, you are stubborn, and so am I! There, I said it. Are you happy?" CJ yelled back. "I came here to say something, and you are making it very hard for me to say it!"
"Just say it so I can get some sleep!"
"Oh, did someone get a lack of sleep last night. Well, SO DID I!!" CJ screamed back and pushed Toby in the chest. "You know something? You are bush-league, egotistical, but most of all, you're a jackass! But for the last twenty years, you have always, always been the one saving me from myself. You make sure I'm always the one being taking of. You try to make sure I get everything I need or want. But for the past ten years, you haven't been able to give me the one and only thing I have wanted and needed, and you have no idea what that is Toby. You have no idea do you?" CJ felt the tears start to form, but wiped them away.
"No, I have no idea. I'm sorry. Why am I supposed to know everything CJ? You never told me about Jack, I had to walk in on it. You remember that? I wanted to kill him, but I knew that I had to get you out of there more. So when I walked in on him on top of you, hitting you, I grabbed you and carried you to my car and drove you to my place. I wanted to kill him, but my main priority was getting you safe. You kept telling me that he was going to change. I hated hearing you say that. I hated the fact that you didn't tell me this."
"I thought you would kill him!" CJ screamed.
"I would have, but keeping you safe would have been first on my list CJ. Just like you did ten years ago, you made me as the villain with the whole Qumar thing! I had to apologize for that, which I did. But god CJ! You make it so difficult. I try so hard to protect you, which maybe I shouldn't because it's not my job. But for the last twenty years, you have been the only thing consistent in my life. And I didn't want to loose that. I never do." Toby yelled back. "CJ, I need you in my life. If I don't have you, then that one thing that is constant stops. And for the life of me CJ, I can't handle another change like that. I lost Andy, and I thought I would have lost it. But you gave me the strength to move on. CJ, I have never forgot about that. I never will."
"Why me? Why did you pick me to take care of?"
"Because I fell in love with you CJ. I fell in love with your life. And if I can keep that, even for a little bit, I know I will survive," Toby lowered his voice and stood in the middle of his door way.
"That one thing you never gave me. That one thing that I've always needed and wanted. Is you."
"CJ." Toby started as CJ stepped closer to Toby and wrapped her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
"I've always loved you Toby," CJ said while resting her forehead on his own.
"I've always loved you too," Toby smiled and kissed CJ's nose.
"Am I allowed in now?" CJ smiled shyly.
"I think I'll let this be an exception."
Toby started walking upstairs, but was stopped when CJ grabbed his arm.
"I never remember saying thank you."
"For what?"
"For last night, and for everything," CJ smiled.
"I'm sorry for the pain I caused you in the past."
"You helped me Toby, it wasn't pain. It was just learning that maybe I really can't do everything on my own that bugged the hell out of me." CJ joked.
"Are you okay with that now?"
"Yeah, I think I am," CJ smiled and walked upstairs with Toby. "Just one thing."
"What's that?"
"I want to know you like you know me, and I want you to be the one that tells me. Is that fair?" CJ smiled.
"I think I can handle that one Claudia Jean." Toby smiled and then led CJ into the bedroom.
The End
"Toby Ziegler!" CJ ran down into the communications bullpen screaming
"He's not here," Ginger said softly, she could tell CJ wanted to kill someone.
"Where the hell is he?" CJ screamed walking into Toby's office. "I just saw him come in!"
"He, uh, had a meeting," Ginger said quietly again.
"Oh yeah," CJ said sarcastically while walking behind Toby's desk. "Is that right?" CJ grinned a little and kicked as hard as she could under Toby's desk.
"OUCH!" Toby screamed from under his desk, but still didn't move.
"Ginger, please shut the door. I'll deal with you later," CJ screamed.
"Ok!" CJ bent down and grabbed Toby by the shirt and dragged him to his feet.
"That hurts!" Toby screamed.
"Good!" CJ groaned. "But this is nothing compared to the pain your going to be feeling in a minute," CJ screamed.
"I'm right here, you don't have to yell," Toby said just before CJ punched him with all her might in the stomach.
Toby got a small groan out before falling to his knees.
"Next time, stay out of my business!" CJ screamed while walking out of his office. CJ stormed back to her office not even noticing all the people who had gathered outside Toby's office. One of them being Sam, who after CJ stormed out, walked into this bosses office.
"Toby, where are you?" Sam said as he walked in, not seeing Toby right away until he walked closer behind his desk. Toby was lying on his side in a ball. "What the hell happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Toby barley got out.
For the rest of the day, Toby found it hard to move. He knew CJ was strong, but he didn't have any idea she was that strong. He avoided her most of the day. He decided to go to the last briefing of the day. At least she wouldn't go after him there with all the press around. Well, he hoped she wouldn't.
"CJ, one more question. What is this I hear about Toby Ziegler being arrested last night? I have a source that tells me that he spent the night in jail. Could you clarify any of that?"
"Like I said before, we don't comment on the personal lives of the staff. That's all," CJ said all in one breath and walked quickly out of the pressroom.
"Toby was arrested last night?" Carol asked as she caught up to CJ. "What happened?"
"Nothing!" CJ yelled and slammed her office door behind her. Carol took a deep breath and went back to work.
"Hey, what's this I hear about you being arrested last night? They finally catch up with you and all those speeding tickets?" Josh said while coming into Toby's office.
"Go away!" Toby groaned.
"I'm just curious. CJ has really been pissed all day, and she's mostly directing that anger towards you."
"Who the hell are you, her therapist? Go away!" Toby yelled.
"Well, I was just wondering." Josh started but then realized the deadly glare Toby was giving him. ".Where I should off to next. See ya." Josh said quickly while running out of the office.
CJ was lying on her couch when she heard someone knock on the door.
"Yeah?" CJ asked.
"Hey," Carol walked in and shut the door behind her. "Here are the papers you asked for." Carol said quietly.
"Thanks," CJ sat up and took the papers, and then she looked up at Carol. "I'm sorry I yelled at you today."
"Don't worry about it, I'm used to getting the really pissed off CJ," Carol laughed, as did CJ. "You want to talk about it?"
"It's okay," CJ said, but unsurely.
"I'll listen."
CJ smiled and motioned for Carol to sit down.
"Is it Toby?" Carol asked.
"How did you guess?" CJ smiled.
"Well, the first thing you did this morning was run down the hall bellowing his name and then went into his office and yelled at him for something. And you punched him in the stomach. Poor boy hasn't been able to walk normal all day." Carol joked.
"You know the questions the reporter asked today?"
"Yeah. The one about Toby being arrested?"
"Yeah," CJ looked down. "Well. He was."
"For what?" Carol looked surprised.
"He was involved in a bar fight last night."
"Toby Ziegler was in a fight?" Carol asked confused. "Our Toby?"
"Our Toby," CJ answered back.
"I didn't see any marks on him. No black eye or anything."
"That's because the guy he was fighting with didn't even get one punch in," CJ yelled. "So Toby beat the living hell out of the guy, puts him in the hospital, and then calls my ass at three in the morning to bail his ass out," CJ started walking around her office.
"Is that why your mad at him, because you had to get up and bail him out?"
"That's part of it," CJ said quietly. "The rest had a major part in it though."
"Which was?" Carol was now too interested to give up now.
"The guy he beat up used to be my husband," CJ stopped and looked at Carol.
"I never knew you were married."
"I was, for about two days."
"What happened?"
"That part I don't feel comfortable telling many people."
"CJ, who am I going to tell? My cats? You trust me?" Carol smiled.
"Yeah."
"Then please let me know."
CJ sat back down in her chair and leaned back.
"He hit me." CJ said quietly. "Not once, but many, many times. I told people, when they asked about the marks on my face, that I fell down the stairs, or I tripped. I'm a klutz, so they believed me. That is, everyone besides Toby. You see, I have known Toby for about 20 years. He knows everything about me. Either I tell him, or he finds out on his own. That's something else that bothers me, Toby knows every single little thing about me, and I barley know anything about him." CJ tried to change the subject.
"CJ." Carol sat up stunned. "I had no idea."
"No one does, that's why I don't tell a lot of people. I hate people feeling sorry for me. I want to handle things on my own, and when Toby did what he did last night, it just brought back every memory I have been trying to get rid of for the past 10 years. Jack, that's the guy I was married to, he left soon after I left him. See, Toby found out about what was happening and he took me to his place and, well, kidnapped is a good word to use. He locked me in a room because I kept telling him that Jack would change. I had the idea in my head that told me that he was going to change. That one day, he would stop hitting me. Now, I realized Toby was right, as much as I hate to say that, but he was. Jack was never going to change. I know that now. What scares me is what would have happened if I stayed with Jack? What would have happened to me?" CJ felt tears slide down her face. Carol got up and walked over to CJ.
"But that would have never happened. I think Toby would have killed you if you went back to him," Carol smiled. CJ got up and hugged Carol.
"Thanks for putting up with all my crap," CJ laughed.
"Hey, it's pretty good money," Carol joked. "Can I tell you what I think?"
"Of course."
"I think you might want to think about apologizing to Toby." Carol said hoping CJ wouldn't deck her.
"Why would I apologize to that baboon?"
"Think about it," Carol smiled. "Can I go home?"
"Yeah, go ahead," CJ smiled and hugged Carol again. "Thanks again."
"Your welcome. Don't stay to late, get some sleep."
"Yeah, yeah," CJ smiled as Carol walked out and shut the door.
CJ sat down on her couch again and looked at Gail.
"Apologize to moron, for what? Controlling my life yet again!" CJ yelled at herself. "What are you looking at?" CJ yelled at her fish. "I'm not going to," CJ looked at Gail again. "NO!" CJ started packing up her things and saw that Gail was still looking at her. "Fine, fine. I'll do it your way, but I still don't think I should," CJ yelled. "Well, maybe I should, but I don't want to," CJ stopped before walking out. "He did save me, and more then once hasn't he?" CJ whispered to herself. "Damn him!" She yelled while slamming her door.
Toby just finished his dinner and drove back to his house. When he pulled into the driveway, he noticed a car in his spot. He parked behind it and tried to place the car, but couldn't really tell whose it was because it was so dark. He got out and walked over to it, but gave up and started to walk towards the door. He walked up to the door and started to unlock it.
"Hey moron." CJ said. Toby jumped. "Sorry, I scare ya?" CJ said with no enthusiasm.
"Ya think!" Toby put his hand over his heart to calm the fast pace it was now having.
"Sorry," CJ still looked un-enthused.
"What the hell are you doing here, you come to knock me over again. Maybe you want to hit my face this time. Maybe break my nose!" Toby screamed while unlocking the door.
"By the way, you're not invited in my home," Toby smiled quickly.
"Fine, screw you then!" CJ screamed while getting up and walking down the steps.
"Fine!" Toby screamed back.
"Fine!" CJ started walking off when she heard the door slam. "Damn him!"
She walked back up to his door and knocked. He didn't answer, so she started banging.
"I can be out here all night if you want me too," CJ yelled just as Toby flew open the door.
"What!"
"I didn't come here to fight with you, you stubborn ass!"
"Oh, I'm stubborn? Think about that one Claudia!" Toby yelled back.
"Yes, you are stubborn, and so am I! There, I said it. Are you happy?" CJ yelled back. "I came here to say something, and you are making it very hard for me to say it!"
"Just say it so I can get some sleep!"
"Oh, did someone get a lack of sleep last night. Well, SO DID I!!" CJ screamed back and pushed Toby in the chest. "You know something? You are bush-league, egotistical, but most of all, you're a jackass! But for the last twenty years, you have always, always been the one saving me from myself. You make sure I'm always the one being taking of. You try to make sure I get everything I need or want. But for the past ten years, you haven't been able to give me the one and only thing I have wanted and needed, and you have no idea what that is Toby. You have no idea do you?" CJ felt the tears start to form, but wiped them away.
"No, I have no idea. I'm sorry. Why am I supposed to know everything CJ? You never told me about Jack, I had to walk in on it. You remember that? I wanted to kill him, but I knew that I had to get you out of there more. So when I walked in on him on top of you, hitting you, I grabbed you and carried you to my car and drove you to my place. I wanted to kill him, but my main priority was getting you safe. You kept telling me that he was going to change. I hated hearing you say that. I hated the fact that you didn't tell me this."
"I thought you would kill him!" CJ screamed.
"I would have, but keeping you safe would have been first on my list CJ. Just like you did ten years ago, you made me as the villain with the whole Qumar thing! I had to apologize for that, which I did. But god CJ! You make it so difficult. I try so hard to protect you, which maybe I shouldn't because it's not my job. But for the last twenty years, you have been the only thing consistent in my life. And I didn't want to loose that. I never do." Toby yelled back. "CJ, I need you in my life. If I don't have you, then that one thing that is constant stops. And for the life of me CJ, I can't handle another change like that. I lost Andy, and I thought I would have lost it. But you gave me the strength to move on. CJ, I have never forgot about that. I never will."
"Why me? Why did you pick me to take care of?"
"Because I fell in love with you CJ. I fell in love with your life. And if I can keep that, even for a little bit, I know I will survive," Toby lowered his voice and stood in the middle of his door way.
"That one thing you never gave me. That one thing that I've always needed and wanted. Is you."
"CJ." Toby started as CJ stepped closer to Toby and wrapped her hand behind his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.
"I've always loved you Toby," CJ said while resting her forehead on his own.
"I've always loved you too," Toby smiled and kissed CJ's nose.
"Am I allowed in now?" CJ smiled shyly.
"I think I'll let this be an exception."
Toby started walking upstairs, but was stopped when CJ grabbed his arm.
"I never remember saying thank you."
"For what?"
"For last night, and for everything," CJ smiled.
"I'm sorry for the pain I caused you in the past."
"You helped me Toby, it wasn't pain. It was just learning that maybe I really can't do everything on my own that bugged the hell out of me." CJ joked.
"Are you okay with that now?"
"Yeah, I think I am," CJ smiled and walked upstairs with Toby. "Just one thing."
"What's that?"
"I want to know you like you know me, and I want you to be the one that tells me. Is that fair?" CJ smiled.
"I think I can handle that one Claudia Jean." Toby smiled and then led CJ into the bedroom.
The End