Back in the White House, Josh was still in his office. He had asked Donna
to leave him alone for a little while, which she did. But she was staying
close to his office just in case he called for her. She wanted to be there
for him.
Josh kept thinking about that morning. Seeing Sam that way. Seeing Toby that way. He had never seen Toby cry. Josh had always thought that Toby was going to be the strongest one if something like this happened. But in the end, he winded up being the weakest one.
Josh found himself still on the floor crying. He missed his best friend. They had a pact that they would die together. They made the pact after Josh was shot. Sam never left his side. Sam made sure he was going to be okay.
"I let him die," Josh kept saying to himself over and over again. He was on his knees rocking back and forth. He didn't know if he was going to be able to get through this. Especially without Sam there helping him.
"Josh," Donna opened the door slowly. "Can I get you anything?" She said softly.
"No. I just." Josh stood up and faced the window. "I have to call his mom."
"I can do that if you want Josh," Donna came in and shut the door.
"Thanks, but I think I need to be the one to call," Josh said wiping away some more tears.
"You want me to stay here with you when you call," Donna said, trying to hide the pain she was feeling.
"It's okay." Josh said quietly.
"Josh."
"I killed him. I made him come with me to join the campaign."
"He wanted to come," Donna tried to calm him down.
"NO! He wouldn't have come if I had stayed away. I have had two best friends in my life Donna. And they both died because of me. The first one was babysitting me, and the second one, I made take this job," Josh was now yelling, but still crying harder then before.
"Josh, it wasn't you're fault Joanie died. It was an accident."
"She was stuck up-stairs. Screaming for me to get out. Sam was stuck up- stairs. Yelling for help," Josh fell against the door.
"Josh."
"I need to call Sam's mom," Josh whispered. He was looking straight ahead, but not at anything in particular.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Donna asked quietly.
"Yeah," Josh was still staring off into space.
"I'll be right outside if you need me," Donna started walking out, but felt Josh's hand grab her elbow. She turned around.
"Thank you," Josh looked down.
"I'm here for you Josh," Donna kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked out. Shutting the door behind her.
Josh walked over to his desk and sat in his chair. He took a couple of deep breaths before picking up the phone. He dialed the number slowly. He waited as it rang, thinking how to tell Sam's mom that her son had died.
"Hello," A voice picked up at the other end.
"Yes, is Sharon Seaborn there?" Josh tried to speak in a reassuring voice.
"This is."
"It's Josh."
"Little Joshua Lyman, it's so good to here your voice sweetheart," Sharon said.
"Thank you ma'am."
"Call me Sharon, Josh, please. Ma'am makes me feel so old," She joked.
"Yeah," Josh felt the tears falling again, and the crying was starting to affect his voice.
"What's wrong Josh, you sound distant. Is my boy driving you crazy?" She laughed lightly.
"I'm sorry," Josh said softly. "Something happened this morning."
"What happened?" She asked, now concerned.
"There was an accident this morning at Sam's apartment building," Josh pulled the phone away as he tried to calm himself down for her.
"Josh? What happened?" She spoke loudly.
"There was a fire, and." Josh could tell Sharon must have been hearing him crying, because she started.
"Josh, is he okay?" She cried.
"I'm sorry, but."
"Don't you tell me this Josh, don't you dare tell me this!" She screamed in the phone.
"I'm sorry," Josh barley got out, he was crying to heavy now.
"No, not my son," Sharon cried as she dropped the phone. She fell to the ground and screamed.
"I'm sorry," Josh couldn't think of anything to say, even if he did, he was crying so hard he probably couldn't say it. For the next few minutes, all the two of them did was cry. Sharon kept screaming no as Josh kept saying how sorry he was.
"How could this happen Josh?" She cried in the phone.
"I don't know. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I wanted."
"Josh, don't you blame yourself, don't you dare. This was not your fault," She screamed.
"Yes ma'am."
"I mean it Josh, this is not your fault. My boy." Sharon couldn't say anymore.
"I wanted to call and tell you myself."
"Thank you Josh. I'll get arrangements to come up there."
"I can make them. I'll get a ticket ready for you."
"It's okay Josh, I want you to deal with things there for me until I get there. Please."
"I will."
"Thank you. I'll get a flight out tonight. I should be there tomorrow."
"Okay, I'll make arrangements for you here."
"Thank you Josh," Sharon said. "I should go get my things together."
"Okay," Josh said quietly.
"Bye Josh," said after she hung up. He kept the phone to his ear and began to cry loudly again. He put his head on his desk and screamed for his friend to come back. Even though, Josh knew that would never happen.
TBC
Josh kept thinking about that morning. Seeing Sam that way. Seeing Toby that way. He had never seen Toby cry. Josh had always thought that Toby was going to be the strongest one if something like this happened. But in the end, he winded up being the weakest one.
Josh found himself still on the floor crying. He missed his best friend. They had a pact that they would die together. They made the pact after Josh was shot. Sam never left his side. Sam made sure he was going to be okay.
"I let him die," Josh kept saying to himself over and over again. He was on his knees rocking back and forth. He didn't know if he was going to be able to get through this. Especially without Sam there helping him.
"Josh," Donna opened the door slowly. "Can I get you anything?" She said softly.
"No. I just." Josh stood up and faced the window. "I have to call his mom."
"I can do that if you want Josh," Donna came in and shut the door.
"Thanks, but I think I need to be the one to call," Josh said wiping away some more tears.
"You want me to stay here with you when you call," Donna said, trying to hide the pain she was feeling.
"It's okay." Josh said quietly.
"Josh."
"I killed him. I made him come with me to join the campaign."
"He wanted to come," Donna tried to calm him down.
"NO! He wouldn't have come if I had stayed away. I have had two best friends in my life Donna. And they both died because of me. The first one was babysitting me, and the second one, I made take this job," Josh was now yelling, but still crying harder then before.
"Josh, it wasn't you're fault Joanie died. It was an accident."
"She was stuck up-stairs. Screaming for me to get out. Sam was stuck up- stairs. Yelling for help," Josh fell against the door.
"Josh."
"I need to call Sam's mom," Josh whispered. He was looking straight ahead, but not at anything in particular.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" Donna asked quietly.
"Yeah," Josh was still staring off into space.
"I'll be right outside if you need me," Donna started walking out, but felt Josh's hand grab her elbow. She turned around.
"Thank you," Josh looked down.
"I'm here for you Josh," Donna kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked out. Shutting the door behind her.
Josh walked over to his desk and sat in his chair. He took a couple of deep breaths before picking up the phone. He dialed the number slowly. He waited as it rang, thinking how to tell Sam's mom that her son had died.
"Hello," A voice picked up at the other end.
"Yes, is Sharon Seaborn there?" Josh tried to speak in a reassuring voice.
"This is."
"It's Josh."
"Little Joshua Lyman, it's so good to here your voice sweetheart," Sharon said.
"Thank you ma'am."
"Call me Sharon, Josh, please. Ma'am makes me feel so old," She joked.
"Yeah," Josh felt the tears falling again, and the crying was starting to affect his voice.
"What's wrong Josh, you sound distant. Is my boy driving you crazy?" She laughed lightly.
"I'm sorry," Josh said softly. "Something happened this morning."
"What happened?" She asked, now concerned.
"There was an accident this morning at Sam's apartment building," Josh pulled the phone away as he tried to calm himself down for her.
"Josh? What happened?" She spoke loudly.
"There was a fire, and." Josh could tell Sharon must have been hearing him crying, because she started.
"Josh, is he okay?" She cried.
"I'm sorry, but."
"Don't you tell me this Josh, don't you dare tell me this!" She screamed in the phone.
"I'm sorry," Josh barley got out, he was crying to heavy now.
"No, not my son," Sharon cried as she dropped the phone. She fell to the ground and screamed.
"I'm sorry," Josh couldn't think of anything to say, even if he did, he was crying so hard he probably couldn't say it. For the next few minutes, all the two of them did was cry. Sharon kept screaming no as Josh kept saying how sorry he was.
"How could this happen Josh?" She cried in the phone.
"I don't know. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. I wanted."
"Josh, don't you blame yourself, don't you dare. This was not your fault," She screamed.
"Yes ma'am."
"I mean it Josh, this is not your fault. My boy." Sharon couldn't say anymore.
"I wanted to call and tell you myself."
"Thank you Josh. I'll get arrangements to come up there."
"I can make them. I'll get a ticket ready for you."
"It's okay Josh, I want you to deal with things there for me until I get there. Please."
"I will."
"Thank you. I'll get a flight out tonight. I should be there tomorrow."
"Okay, I'll make arrangements for you here."
"Thank you Josh," Sharon said. "I should go get my things together."
"Okay," Josh said quietly.
"Bye Josh," said after she hung up. He kept the phone to his ear and began to cry loudly again. He put his head on his desk and screamed for his friend to come back. Even though, Josh knew that would never happen.
TBC