"It's big!"
"It's really big!"
"It's a … piano?!"
"No, it's an elephant!"
"No, it's a … a … holy SHIT!"
Wondering what all the comotion was, a chubby bald man looked up into the sky.
"Oh crap."
The enormous blue object, having just fallen off the Eiffle tower, was hurling down straight towards him at an alarming rate.
CRASH
Everything went black.
The innocent pedestrians woke up, rubbing bumps on their heads and giving CPR to those who had been less fortunate.
"Mr. Zelgadis!" Shouted a tiny girl dressed in white, slamming into several people as she carened around the corner. She looked around at all the little blue chunks of rock, all that was left over from the huge object that had fallen from the sky.
"Oh, Mr. Zelgadis…" moaned the girl, "I told you you shouldn't have eaten all that chow mein!"
"Yeah!" Agreed the well-known and widely feared Lina Inverse, screeching to a stop behind her friend Amelia. "That was mine!"
"Oh, what'll we do?! What'll we do?!" Sobbed Amelia. "Poor Mr. Zelgadis…" Tears fell from her eyes in rivlets, flooding the road. The ants began to scream as their supply of oxygen ran out and they started to drown.
"Don't worry, Amelia, we'll fix this!" Lina reassured her. "Somehow…"
"I can help!" Said Xellos, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.
Lina yelped, jumping up ten feet in the air. "Don't do that to me!" She screamed, putting him in headlock.
"But Lina-chan!" He protested, "I can help bring back Zelgadis-san! …For a price."
Lina glared. "What do ya want?"
"Only a kiss, Lina-chan!"
"WHAT?! You want me to, to--" she paused, looking thoughtful. "Oh, alright then."
"Excellent!" Exclaimed Xellos.
"But you've gotta bring back Zel first."
"What's wrong, Lina-chan … you don't trust me?"
"No."
"Lina-chan, I'm hurt! You--"
"Just do it already!"
"Alright then."
Xellos waved his arms dramatically, causing thunder to crack and lightning to shine. The little pieces of the dismembered Chimera began to shake, and then to move together.
FLASH!
There was a bright light, and then Zelgadis appeared lying on the ground, back to his old pre-lunch special self.
"Uhn ... what happened?"
"Oh, nothing." Said Lina. "You just fell asleep, is all."
"Mr. Zelgadis!" Shouted Amelia happily, attempting to hug him as he franticly scooted away.
"So Lina-chan, how about that kiss now?"
"Okay!" Said Lina. "Close your eyes!"
Xellos puckered up. His eyes remained closed.
"Here ya go!" Lina cheerfully exclaimed, grabbing Amelia and pressing the startled brunette's lips to those of the purple-haired mazoku.
"GAAAHHH!" They exclaimed, leaping apart and tearfully scrubbing at their faces.
"Ew! Yuck!" Said Amelia with no small amount of disgust.
"Uhh … Lina-chan…" started Xellos nervously.
"What?!" She inquired. "You asked for a kiss … but you didn't say it had to be from me!"
Everyone sweatdropped and fell to the ground.
"Come on, Lina." Said Zelgadis, grabbing Lina's arm. They walked off together towards the edge of town.
"Hey, wait a minute!" Protested Xellos, racing after them.
"Don't forget about me!" Said Amelia, following suit.
"Say, whatever happened to Gourry?"
"Uhhh…"
In Le Restaurante de Eiffle:
"Ahhh…" said the Swordsman of Light, finally finishing his meal at the towns only remaining all-you-can-eat buffet. "Done! Are you guys ready to go? Guys? Guys?!…