Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. That would violate Anti-Slavery laws.
The next day, all thoughts of Hannah were driven out of Ron and Harry's minds as they entered the Divination classroom. "Firenze!" cried Harry. Sure enough, Firenze was at the head of the class. Ron looked around hopefully, and then disgustedly said, "Dang. That old bat's still here."
Harry moaned in disappointment, and Professor Trelawney addressed the class. "Welcome back to Divination. I must say, I've seen some interesting things over the summer. However," her voice turned slightly bitter, "Dumbledore has seen fit to supplement my instruction. For half of the class period, Firenze here will be instructing you on the various ways centaurs divine the future." Trelawney looked extremely upset; most of the class was looking excited – They'd have a teacher that actually knew about divination!
Professor Trelawney must have noticed this, because she said, "Firenze, you can leave now. I will be done 30 minutes from now." Firenze smiled, and left by another exit at the front of the class. Harry supposed it must have been put in there specifically for the Centaur.
"Today, class, we're going to be learning an advanced method called Phyllorhodomancy." What? Harry thought, How do you spell that? He looked over and noticed that Ron seemed to be as confused as Harry. Trelawney spotted the blank looks and explained, "Phyllorhodomancy is the study of the future based on the sound of roses hitting your hand." After saying this, Trelawney opened a box of roses, and handed three to each student. "Turn to page 80," she instructed, "Of your 'Diput's guide to Seeing'. We will use this to determine what the sounds mean."
Harry sat there, trying to determine the difference between a crisp and brittle sound, thinking This is stupid. This is so stupid! He looked over at Ron, who had a gleam in his eye.
"No!" whispered Harry, guessing what Ron wanted to do. Ron's face turned into a grin, and Harry desperately hissed, "At least don't do a death omen!"
Ron lost the smile, and Harry knew the act was about to start. "No!" cried Ron. The class sniggered, and Harry moaned. Trelawney immediately came over, obviously hoping for someone to confirm her vision of Harry's untimely demise.
"Do you hear death, dear?" Trelawney asked. Harry could swear he heard a hopeful tint there.
"No," whispered Ron, "But the roses told me that Harry will lose an arm due to a violent Griffin!" At this, most of the class burst into laughter. Harry almost did to, when he saw Patil and Brown looking frightened at him.
Concentrating on keeping a straight face, Harry fake-remonstrated the class, "How dare you all laugh at my dis-arming!" The class howled with laughter, and Trelawney patted Harry softly on the back.
Before Harry could pay back the favor and predict an encounter with Professor Lockhart for Ron, he heard a knocking on the new door in the front of the class. Trelawney sighed, and said, "Come in."
Firenze walked in, and said, "I'll be done in a half hour," gesturing at the trap door. Trelawney ground her teeth, and left the classroom. Everyone sat forward in their poof chairs, looking forward to hearing what the centaur would teach.
"I suppose you are all wondering why I am up here teaching instead of living in the Forbidden Forest," Firenze spoke. After a few mute nods, he continued, "Well, an… unfortunate event happened last year, which prevents me from living with the rest of the centaurs. I…" Firenze trailed off; Harry looked down guiltily at the centaur's legs. Sure enough, one was missing a hoof, and his leg had been extended slightly to make it roughly the same length as the others. Firenze seemed momentarily at a loss for words, and decided to start the class.
"Where is Venus tonight?" Firenze asked. He was rewarded with blank looks from the class. "Surely," he said, "you all know what part of the sky Mars is in now?" Firenze grew alarmed as everyone shook their head. The centaur waved his hand and the ceiling became transparent. Harry gasped – he didn't know centaurs were capable of magic!
After pointing out the locations of Venus and Mars, Firenze asked, "Who knows what it means?"
Parvati hesitantly raised her hand and ventured, "It means a general misfortune to anyone with green eyes?" Harry and Ron burst into laughter, and Firenze looked at Parvati very oddly.
"This is 6th year Divination, right?" asked Firenze. After seeing nods, he asked, "And you can't even tell what that planetary alignment means?" Firenze shook his head, and began to teach Astrology from the beginning, every once in awhile muttering, "Foolish Bat!" Harry and Ron sniggered, while Parvati and Lavender grew annoyed at the centaur.
Towards the end of class, Firenze called out, "Ok, we're going to do a class activity. One month ago, the planetary alignment was like this." He then handed out a small diagram to each of the students, and continued, "Tell me what it says."
Ron groaned, but began going through the material they had covered for the day. Five minutes later, he hesitantly raised his hand and said, "In the future, for the future, there will be two instead of one?"
Firenze smiled broadly, and said, "Good job, Weasley. You might be a seer after all." Before he could say any more, Trelawney burst into the room and said, "Class time is over. You are all dismissed."
As Harry and Ron left the tower, Ron said excitedly, "Imagine, Divination isn't bad – it was just Trelawney all along!"
Harry said, "The best part is, the prediction came true!"
Ron turned and asked, "It did? It didn't even make sense to me."
Harry replied, "Ron, you prat! Firenze was showing off. 'In the future, for the future, there will be two instead of one.' One month ago, right now is 'in the future'. 'For the future' means divination class. He was saying that one month ago they could tell there would be two teachers for divination!"
Ron grew amazed and whispered, "You know, maybe I won't need to make up any death omens at all this year!"
Harry and Ron made it back to the commons, and sat looking into the fire. Hermione was sitting in a dark corner of the Gryffindor commons, apparently reading a book. Every minute or so, she'd cast nervous glances around the room, hoping no one would notice her. Harry sniggered; he was beginning to like Lee Jordan as prefect.
Fred and George came down the stairs from the 7th years' dorms and Hermione immediately tucked the book behind her back. Fred saw her nervous expression and asked, "What are you doing, Hermione?"
Hermione was anxious, and said, "Er, Nothing. I was just, er, thinking of some curses to use against Slytherin."
George walked over and pulled the book behind her back. "What's this?" he asked, "Well, well, if it isn't The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 6)."
Fred called out in a loud voice, "Hear Hear! I need everyone's attention!"
Lee Jordan came down and asked, "What is up, dear Fred and George?"
Fred called, "We have a studious witch!"
"A studious witch?" asked Lee.
"A studious witch!" sang Fred and George.
"And what do we do with studious witches?" asked Lee.
Fred yelled, "Burn them!"
George added loudly, "Burn them at the stake!"
Hermione was looking extremely uncomfortable, and muttered, "Loons."
Lee asked, "Surely you are aware these are serious accusations, sirs Fred and George?"
"Aye, my liege," said Fred in a nasally voice.
"We have evidence," continued George. At this, George made a large show of handing Lee Jordan the school book.
Ron appeared to be getting in on the fun as well. "No," he gasped, "Not my dear Hermione. I ask of you, have mercy!" and fell upon his knees mockingly in front of Lee. Hermione gave him an evil look, and Ron grinned even wider.
Lee Jordan commanded in an important voice, "Bring forth the accused!" Fred and George half dragged Hermione, who was angrier than Harry had ever seen her, up to Lee.
"Miss Hermione Granger," intoned Lee, "I have not seen the likes of such a heinous crime in my good many days as a prefect! However, seeing as how this is your very first crime, I shall dispense mercy and belay the burning."
At these words, Fred, George, and Ron cried out, "Surely, justice must be served. Burn Her!"
"Silence!" commanded Lee, "Justice will be served. Brave Fred and George, I must call upon you. We have need of a dungbomb with the strength to match the foul industrious air which has permeated the 6th year girls' dormitories. I suspect it has addled Miss Granger's senses."
"As you wish, my lord," intoned Fred and George; both ran up to their room with huge smiles on their faces.
"You wouldn't dare," Hermione growled at Lee.
Fred and George returned with what looked like a dungbomb. But it was far larger than an ordinary dungbomb, and Harry was willing to bet it was far more potent as well.
"No!" cried Hermione.
"Silence!" ordered Lee, "Hermione Granger, you stand before us condemned for your nefarious misdeeds. May God have mercy upon your soul. Commence the bombing!"
Fred tossed the bomb up the stairs into Hermione's dorm room. Immediately, Parvati and Lavender came running and screaming out of the room. Harry actually felt the flow of air from the room upstairs and turned green as he caught a waft of it up his nose.
The last thing Harry heard before he ran out of the Gryffindor commons with everyone else was Hermione hissing, "I'll get you for this Jordan. Just wait."
---
Are you glad I made Lee prefect? I hope I portrayed the mock-witch-burning ok.
Well, this is it until December 1st. I'll see you all then!
Please Review!