Torn
She's so beautiful. It's a wonderful feeling, having her head on my stomach, her beautiful red hair spread out, all over my chest. It's mind-boggling. It still amazes me she's even mine. So innocent, so perfect... Seems like just days ago she stole my heart, now it beats to the same rhythm as hers. Her heart... it's solid gold, you know. She'd never hurt a soul, and it makes me hate Riddle so much for using her like that. She really loved him, you know, in a strange way even I do not understand. He... was like a twin to her, she said. He understood, comforted, and cared for her... or so he claimed. Sometimes I wonder... was she happier with him? If he hadn't opened the chamber, could she have lived happily ever after with out me? If she could have, why am I here? How could this man do that to her? How could he use her, manipulate her... nearly kill her? Why did that happen to her? Could I have done something to stop it?
I can feel her stirring, waking with a soft smile upon her face, a smile which grows wider as her lovely brown eyes flutter open, quickly focusing on mine. I swear she can read my mind sometimes. I think she's reading it now. Her face is easy to read, but it shows me only intrigue and confusion now. None of the passion, or fire from the night before remains, the past has been painted over with the present. She's worried, and she hasn't read it all. She doesn't know what exactly is wrong. I lean in to kiss her, to wipe away her alarm. Ginny's an amazing kisser. She says kissing someone is like lifting the top off their head and looking inside. I, for one, feel light headed.
She pulls away. "You're nervous. What's wrong, lovely?" I am silent. "Please tell me." Her warm chocolate eyes are filled with concern, they melt my soul and I am hers.
"It's... Lord Voldemort." I said, causing Ginny to fill with a strange cocktail of emotions. I see them all, the love, the hate, and the fear... I put an arm around her to try and comfort her. My attempt fails, and I pull away, not wanting to see her cry when I say what I have to say.
"Gin... he's hurt everyone he's ever seen. He's done all sorts of horrible things to them, torturing some, killing others, forcing the rest of us to live in a state of constant fear. The Roberts, Potters, Bones'... Cedric... and you... he hurt you once already. I couldn't bear it if he took you away from me for even an instant, little own a lifetime. After Cedric... it was horrible. I can't go through that again with you. You mean so much more to me than Cedric. I can't imagine life with out you."
"It's okay... nothing will---" Ginny started to reassure, even if she herself was clearly as scared as I. She held me in her arms once more, but I could not stay there.
"No. It's not okay. I can't let anything happen to you. You're too... sweet, gorgeous, brilliant, wonderful, amazing, mind blowingly sexy... you're a work of art. Your sketches... they're beautiful, yes, but you... you're a snowflake. There's no one else in the world like you, as beautiful, as intricate, as soft and delicate..." Ginny started to smile. I briefly smiled back. "I thought about being an Auror, to protect you, and everyone else from that... lousy excuse for a man. But I can't... I can't risk things like that. I know what it's like to lose someone you love, and I can't let you feel that. I can't bear seeing you cry at all, and making you cry... that's... not... not something I could spend eternity knowing I did."
Ginny was silent until I began to cry. She put her arms around me, drawing me near, holding and comforting me, as I did the same for her. This time, I let her stay.