Sixth grade is strange.  One weekend the boys and girls will be at a party wanting to play stupid kissing games like Spin-the-Bottle.  The very next Monday those same boys won't let the girls join their soccer game at recess because, "Girls aren't any good at playing soccer."  And they won't take the time to talk to the girls about anything because they're too busy arguing with each other about whether or not the Angels are going to make the playoffs this year.  It doesn't make much sense.

I guess that's kind of what happened with Ruthie and me after that party.  Kind of, but not quite.  It's not like I purposely tried to avoid her, more like I couldn't find the right words to say to her.  We went for most of the rest of the school year not saying much to each other in the halls.  We would see each other, and we would exchange looks, or smiles, but usually not words.  Just looks and smiles, although my heart wanted so much more than that.

It feels weird for me to say that.  I had never really wanted something in my heart before.  You know, I had wanted stuff before, like a GameCube or a Tony Hawk skateboard, but I just wanted those things, like, in my brain or someplace like that.  It wasn't something I felt in my heart.  But with Ruthie I knew, after that day I danced with her, I knew I just…felt different.  Like something hurt inside me because I wanted to be with her but she didn't seem to want to speak to me anymore, but I kept holding onto that feeling in my heart that maybe someday she would talk to me again or maybe I would find the right words to say to her and then we could be together.

And so I never took the twenty dollars from Maria for dancing with Ruthie because I didn't want to spoil the way I felt about her.  So stupid.

***

Summer arrived, and I played a lot of Little League and went swimming and surfing with my friends.  I barely thought about Ruthie at all, except sometimes when I was alone in my bed at night.  Thinking about her made it hard to sleep.  It made me feel even more alone just knowing she was out there, with her silky straight hair and her perfect shiny lips, out there and probably not thinking of me at all.  I was just some boy she had used at a party to make herself look better in front of another girl.

"Jakey, be nice to Ruthie tonight, OK?"  That's what Maria had asked me to do on the way to that party.  I guess Simon hadn't bothered to tell Ruthie the same thing.  She stole my heart.  That wasn't very nice.

***

I got a surprise toward the end of the summer when she called me.  It was so unexpected; I couldn't believe it was her at first.

"Ruthie Camden?"

"Yeah, it's me.  How's your summer?"

"Great, except it's almost over.  How's yours?"

"Boring.  Until now."

My heart pounded.  What did she mean by that?  "Oh?  What's up, Ruthie?"

"Well, it would be a huge favor for me if you could come over to my house.  I need your help with a plan I have.  See, I'm trying to convince my father he needs to let me do something."

I tried not to let my voice crack over my excitement at the idea of going over to her house.  "Sure.  What do you need me to do?"

"I'll explain it all when you get here."

"Um, OK.  I'll get Maria to drive me over."

Maria was more than happy to escort me to the Camdens' house.  She was hoping she might catch Simon and talk to him, because she never could understand why he never called her back or talked to her again after that Valentine's date they had.  I didn't know what to tell her.  Guys can be weird like that sometimes, for any number of reasons.

Ruthie acted weird too when she answered the door.  She sneaked me into the living room and there was a freaking monkey sitting on the couch.  Or a chimpanzee or something like that.  It was her neighbor's from across the street, and she was just taking care of it.  Whatever.  And she was all like, "You've gotta pretend you're my boyfriend."

Pretend to be her boyfriend?  I could live with that.  So what if there was a chimp sitting on her couch?

She led me over and we sat next to the chimp, and then Ruthie's father came into the living room.  He just sat down across from us and started staring at us.  Everything was so weird.  Still, it was easy for me to "pretend" I was Ruthie's boyfriend, considering all the time I had spent fantasizing about it.

Mrs. Camden came in after a few minutes and asked for Reverend Camden's help in the kitchen.  That's when Ruthie told me to put my arm around her.  I found myself hoping deep down that, even though Ruthie had said this was just "pretend", maybe she really did want to be with me.  After all, she could have called any other boy to be her "pretend" boyfriend, right?  But she chose me.

Reverend Camden returned from the kitchen and before I could pull my arm away from Ruthie, she started kissing me.  She kissed me!  I thought I was having an attack, my heart was racing so fast.

Her father yelled at us to break it up though.  Somehow he knew she was scheming, and once he had figured it out she asked me to leave.  I guess she had been pretending I was her boyfriend so that her father wouldn't think that her having a pet would be so bad.  Kind of like a bait-and-switch.

I lay awake in bed those last few nights of summer before school started, wishing Ruthie thought of me as more than just bait.