::A string of multiple humorous events filled my imagination while I
replayed Castlevania SOTN again, and I decided to put them in order and
paste them up here 'cause.. They're funny. (At least, I think so..) Thus
was born Castlevania: Return to the Nocturnal Symphony, a Fanfic. Anyway,
I don't own Castlevania, Alucard, Dracula, Richter, Maria, Camille, Nathan,
George W. Bush, Lestat, Sephiroth, Marth, Spongebob Squarepants, Obi Wan
Kenobi or pretty much any one else I might end up putting in here, so
please don't sue me! Also, I haven't the faintest as to locations in
Romania, so I made up names for them. This is obvious. Just don't flame
me for it. ::
The catacombs in Themiddleofnowhere, Romania, were just as damp and dark as Alucard had remembered them to be. The moldy air was somewhat suffocating, but he purged on in comfort of the thought that once he was back in his coffin, he could sleep the rest of eternity, sealing his powers once and for all. Of course, he didn't notice how that's what he thought the first time he had done this. But that was a couple hundred years ago, so it would probably turn different this time around. Hopefully, Richter and Maria would return to their village, Thatoneplacetheycamefrom, safely and unharmed, and Dracula was gone. Again. Hopefully for good, but the gleam in the Konami producers' eyes didn't comfort him..
Anyway, he had finally returned to the room he had placed his coffin in to find it was.. Gone. In place were four men in camo outfits, lifting particular coffin-sized box.
"Ahem." The miffed dhampir cleared his throat, hoping to get their attention. "What are you doing?" One of them turned to the seemingly- young man.
"Hmm? Oh! The coffin! This is part of the President's 'Home Security' plan."
".." Alucard brilliantly stated. "..What president..?"
"George W. Bush.?" Another man stated, wondering why Alucard didn't know.
"Who..?"
"George Bush..? The President of the United States..? Leader of the Free World..?"
".." There was a lovely awkward silence. Finally one man left his post from a corner of the box, (letting the entire thing drop and startling/overworking the other three,) and showed Alucard a notice.
"Here. This states that we have the right to take this coffin as part of our 'Home Security' plan for scientific research." Alucard read the notice as the four quickly left out of the catacombs, leaving him coffin-less.
" 'I hereby give my soldiers the right to take whatever they may find in the catacombs of Themiddleofnowhere, Romania, as they see fit. Anyone who opposes this note will suffer the wrath of my newly-made army of rubber duckies I have made for the Home Land Security. Beware. They squeak loud. George W. Bush, December Somethingorother-st, 2002.' ..What are rubber duckies..? Isn't it still 1797??" Alucard turned to ask the four soldiers to find out that he was alone in the room, save some rat that was scuttling along the floor. Sighing, he figured that once again, he would have to travel back to the village of Themiddleofnowhere to find a new one.
Still puzzling over what the heck a 'rubber ducky' was, the young hybrid walked the distance towards the village, when a thick fog set in. The harder he tried to travel in a straight line, the harder it seemed to know if he was succeeding or not. The muddy trail soon became hard and solid, while the bushes and grass along the sides faded away into rocks and pebbles. Alucard became more and more worried that he was no longer on his way to Themiddleofnowhere. The fog suddenly left as fast as it came, leaving in plain view an impressive castle on a cliff above a large body of water.
"Welcome home." He mumbled to himself.
The catacombs in Themiddleofnowhere, Romania, were just as damp and dark as Alucard had remembered them to be. The moldy air was somewhat suffocating, but he purged on in comfort of the thought that once he was back in his coffin, he could sleep the rest of eternity, sealing his powers once and for all. Of course, he didn't notice how that's what he thought the first time he had done this. But that was a couple hundred years ago, so it would probably turn different this time around. Hopefully, Richter and Maria would return to their village, Thatoneplacetheycamefrom, safely and unharmed, and Dracula was gone. Again. Hopefully for good, but the gleam in the Konami producers' eyes didn't comfort him..
Anyway, he had finally returned to the room he had placed his coffin in to find it was.. Gone. In place were four men in camo outfits, lifting particular coffin-sized box.
"Ahem." The miffed dhampir cleared his throat, hoping to get their attention. "What are you doing?" One of them turned to the seemingly- young man.
"Hmm? Oh! The coffin! This is part of the President's 'Home Security' plan."
".." Alucard brilliantly stated. "..What president..?"
"George W. Bush.?" Another man stated, wondering why Alucard didn't know.
"Who..?"
"George Bush..? The President of the United States..? Leader of the Free World..?"
".." There was a lovely awkward silence. Finally one man left his post from a corner of the box, (letting the entire thing drop and startling/overworking the other three,) and showed Alucard a notice.
"Here. This states that we have the right to take this coffin as part of our 'Home Security' plan for scientific research." Alucard read the notice as the four quickly left out of the catacombs, leaving him coffin-less.
" 'I hereby give my soldiers the right to take whatever they may find in the catacombs of Themiddleofnowhere, Romania, as they see fit. Anyone who opposes this note will suffer the wrath of my newly-made army of rubber duckies I have made for the Home Land Security. Beware. They squeak loud. George W. Bush, December Somethingorother-st, 2002.' ..What are rubber duckies..? Isn't it still 1797??" Alucard turned to ask the four soldiers to find out that he was alone in the room, save some rat that was scuttling along the floor. Sighing, he figured that once again, he would have to travel back to the village of Themiddleofnowhere to find a new one.
Still puzzling over what the heck a 'rubber ducky' was, the young hybrid walked the distance towards the village, when a thick fog set in. The harder he tried to travel in a straight line, the harder it seemed to know if he was succeeding or not. The muddy trail soon became hard and solid, while the bushes and grass along the sides faded away into rocks and pebbles. Alucard became more and more worried that he was no longer on his way to Themiddleofnowhere. The fog suddenly left as fast as it came, leaving in plain view an impressive castle on a cliff above a large body of water.
"Welcome home." He mumbled to himself.