Scene: Dungeon (classroom). Senate is sitting.
[Enter Lauren]
Lauren: Steven tells me you spilled nuclear waste around the classroom. Is that what that green ooze is on the floor?
Senate: I don't want to talk about it. Go away.
Lauren: Come on, Harry, we really should talk about this. All couples need to discuss it when one partner seriously threatens the lives of their entire workplace it's best for us to talk. Let's talk, talk. Talk?
Senate: Beat it.
Lauren: Rather than leave, I'm going to stand here plaintively for a few minutes. Talk?
Senate: Get lost.
Lauren: We should talk about how you won't talk.
Senate: Go away.
Lauren: Why do you want for me to go away? Let's discuss it.
Senate: I'm just going to continue to be rude to you, just as I have been throughout our entire relationship. You see, even though I'm nothing but a closed off person to you, you wanted to go out with me anyway. Or something.
Lauren: I'm going to leave and look hurt.
Senate: Later.
[Exit Lauren]
[Enter Scott]
Scott: MISTER! SENATE! Bark bark bark bark bark.
Senate: Whatever, you jackass.
Scott: Bark bark bark!
Senate: Stop hyperventilating, guy.
Scott: You're fired!!
Senate: You can't fire me, you've only done that to characters who were going to leave the show anyway. Plus, I have license to be as rude to you as I want, because that's the way this relationship works on the show. Interestingly, I can also be gruff to Lauren and she'll still like me.
Scott: Bark!
Senate: Is that all you're going to say?
Scott: No, I'm also going to mention that the author of this piece has the email address funnyhatus@yahoo.com, and the website is www.geocities.com/funnyhatus.
Senate: Ok. Get lost.
[Exit Scott]
[Enter Harvey]
Harvey: Oh my! My pants have been stolen! I can't find my eyeglasses! I've misplaced my brain!
Senate: What do you want, Harvey!
Harvey: What's all this green stuff on the floor?
Senate: I spilled some nuclear waste on the floor.
Harvey: Hmm. I can't really think of anything to say about that that will be offensive to ethnic groups. That's pretty much my thing.
Senate: Hmm, I can't think of anything either. Want to go on the town to see if we can pick up some young alumnae from this school, or perhaps even some seniors who are 18?
Harvey: What?
Senate: I just figured, since all the other teachers in this school have done it, you might want a turn.
Harvey: You thought I would want to go pick up 18 year old women? I'm nearly 80!
Senate: So?
Harvey: Ok, I'll give it a go.
[Exit Harvey, Senate]
[Enter Lauren]
Lauren: Steven tells me you spilled nuclear waste around the classroom. Is that what that green ooze is on the floor?
Senate: I don't want to talk about it. Go away.
Lauren: Come on, Harry, we really should talk about this. All couples need to discuss it when one partner seriously threatens the lives of their entire workplace it's best for us to talk. Let's talk, talk. Talk?
Senate: Beat it.
Lauren: Rather than leave, I'm going to stand here plaintively for a few minutes. Talk?
Senate: Get lost.
Lauren: We should talk about how you won't talk.
Senate: Go away.
Lauren: Why do you want for me to go away? Let's discuss it.
Senate: I'm just going to continue to be rude to you, just as I have been throughout our entire relationship. You see, even though I'm nothing but a closed off person to you, you wanted to go out with me anyway. Or something.
Lauren: I'm going to leave and look hurt.
Senate: Later.
[Exit Lauren]
[Enter Scott]
Scott: MISTER! SENATE! Bark bark bark bark bark.
Senate: Whatever, you jackass.
Scott: Bark bark bark!
Senate: Stop hyperventilating, guy.
Scott: You're fired!!
Senate: You can't fire me, you've only done that to characters who were going to leave the show anyway. Plus, I have license to be as rude to you as I want, because that's the way this relationship works on the show. Interestingly, I can also be gruff to Lauren and she'll still like me.
Scott: Bark!
Senate: Is that all you're going to say?
Scott: No, I'm also going to mention that the author of this piece has the email address funnyhatus@yahoo.com, and the website is www.geocities.com/funnyhatus.
Senate: Ok. Get lost.
[Exit Scott]
[Enter Harvey]
Harvey: Oh my! My pants have been stolen! I can't find my eyeglasses! I've misplaced my brain!
Senate: What do you want, Harvey!
Harvey: What's all this green stuff on the floor?
Senate: I spilled some nuclear waste on the floor.
Harvey: Hmm. I can't really think of anything to say about that that will be offensive to ethnic groups. That's pretty much my thing.
Senate: Hmm, I can't think of anything either. Want to go on the town to see if we can pick up some young alumnae from this school, or perhaps even some seniors who are 18?
Harvey: What?
Senate: I just figured, since all the other teachers in this school have done it, you might want a turn.
Harvey: You thought I would want to go pick up 18 year old women? I'm nearly 80!
Senate: So?
Harvey: Ok, I'll give it a go.
[Exit Harvey, Senate]