Chapter 4
"John, you need to calm down. There is no way the Doctor's can release you
in your condition." Bailey informs him, bracing himself for a battle of the
wills. John's eyes have darkened with rage and he watches as the younger
man attempts to yank out his IV. "Don't! Damn it, I'm trying to keep them
from.."
"From locking me in the crazy room?" John screams. "You and Sam are the psychotic ones. You just don't get what you're dealing with. My father will kill you Bailey and I can't live with that."
"He's not going to be able to harm me, John." Bailey begins only to have John look back up at the ceiling.
"I want to see him." John manages to choke out. When he receives nothing but silence, he turns to face Bailey; his blue eyes welling with unshed tears. "Do that for me. Arrange for him to be brought here so that I can speak with him."
"That's not a good idea, John. You shouldn't be worrying about Patrick O'Doyle when you're recovering." Bailey explains as John looks up at him with pleading eyes.
"I'm not worried about him, Bailey. You have no idea the kind of man Patrick is. He is capable of more than you can imagine. I don't care how many psychos' you've tracked down on the Force you haven't come up against my Father. He pushed St. Claire to do this to me. George tells me the guy didn't even have a record before Patrick Fucked with his family. You have to let me handle this. I'm the only one who can. Now, unless you want me to find my own way out of here, bring my father to see me." John lets out the breath he's been holding and watches as Bailey struggles with the request. He can't bring himself to tell his friend that the only reason he wants to see Patrick is to make sure Bailey remains safe. A knock comes to the door and he closes his eyes. Even before the door opens he knows it's Sam. This day can't get any worse.
Bailey chooses to ignore John's request, grateful for the temporary distraction of answering the door. Opening it, he comes face to face with Sam. "He wants to see Patrick." Bailey mumbles only to turn when John angrily yells out.
"I'm not deaf! Stop whispering about me like I'm in a coma or something."
"Hey John." Sam says gently as she approaches the brooding man. "I understand today has been pretty eventful."
"You just couldn't leave it alone could you, Samantha?" He asks bitterly. Her dark blue eyes bore into him and he refuses to meet her gaze. His blood is boiling beneath his skin and the walls of the room seem to be closing in around him. Get control of yourself, he admonishes silently. Bailey is already about to change his mind on committing you. I need to get a marriage of convinance so I can at least have a next of kin who will listen to me. "He told you everything didn't he?"
"Actually, no." Sam admits as Bailey gives her a questioning look. "He admitted to some of the things he did to you but was pretty evasive. Collin has a desire to drag this out. He called your Father."
"I figured as much." John mutters. "Why didn't he just kill me?"
"I believe he planned to, John." Sam answers softly as she takes his hand in hers only to have him jerk it away. The tension in the room is overwhelming. "George is checking into St. Claire's past. I have a hard time believing that someone who was capable of this has never acted out in violence before."
"Patrick O'Doyle can make anyone change." John mutters shooting Bailey a withering glare. "I want to see him and I want to see him now. Are you going to arrange for it, Malone or do I have to break out of here?"
"John, I don't recommend you seeing your Father right now." Sam warns gently. "Considering your history with him.."
"You know NOTHING about my history with my Father!" John hisses through clenched teeth.
"I know enough that he could hurt you emotionally right now." Sam counters, ready to stand firm in the argument. The pain in his eyes shakes her to her core as he shakes his head.
"He will KILL Bailey unless I talk to him. Sam, you have to help me out here. I can't have Bailey's death on my conscience." John pleads, his voice cracking as his fears rise to the surface.
"John, I told you he is locked up. He won't be able to hurt me." Bailey attempts to assure him only to have Sam cut him off.
"Why would Patrick O'Doyle want to kill Bailey?" Sam demands, as John shoots another glare in Bailey's direction.
"Bailey baited Patrick into threatening his life so now he's sitting behind bars. What Malone doesn't seem to understand is that my Father won't go down for a crime hasn't committed. You have to let me see him. I can handle it, I promise." John begs, not caring that he resorted to pleading once again. The longer it takes to see his Father the less likely Bailey's chances of seeing a long healthy life are.
Sam takes in the situation and then turns to Bailey. "You need to bring Patrick here." She states it simply and firmly and when Bailey opens his mouth to argue she raises an eyebrow. "May I see you outside for a moment?"
"How about I just put my finger in my ears and hum and then you guys don't have to waste your energy?" John spits out angrily as his visitors silently leave the room.
"Are you insane? The last thing John needs right now is a visit from his psychotic Father!" Bailey hisses in an angry whisper.
"He is worried sick that something is going to happen to you, Bail." Samantha counters. "Don't you get it? You have been the one who's been here since this nightmare began. You were the first one through the door, and the one to help him keep some of his dignity. Bailey, you rode in the ambulance with him, placed yourself as next of kin and have stayed at the hospital ever since he's been admitted. John isn't used to being cared for like that. It's probably the closet thing he's ever experienced to having paternal love with the exception of his Grandfather. The mere idea that something could happen to you while he is stuck in that hospital bed feeling helpless is to much for him to take. Add in the fact that it could be his Father who ends up hurting you and he is going crazy in there."
"I don't want that man tormenting John." Bailey replies, taking her words to heart. "He's already been through Hell."
"He's still going through it and he has a point. No one knows what Patrick O'Doyle is capable of more than John. Let him have this. He won't rest until he has had a chance to confront him. Maybe if he can unleash some of his anger at his Father it will help with his recovery. O'Doyle might even surprise us and not emotionally torment his son." Sam offers. "He rushed over here to see him right? St. Claire made it clear that he tortured John to pay back Patrick. No matter how much animosity there is between John and his Father, that has to be playing on O'Doyle's mind. His son was hurt because of him. Let him see the damage."
"We know that he hurt John too. Why should we even think he would feel sympathy for John now?" Bailey growls. "He's going to taunt him. John knows that his Father will blame him for letting this happen. He's already blaming himself. This could be the straw that sends him over the edge. God, Sam, he's already wished for death more than once." Leaning against the hospital wall, Bailey closes his dark eyes. "There is no other way?"
"No. George is doing everything he can to provide us with all the information there is available on St. Claire and his family. He's also working on information on John and Patrick O'Doyle. All we can do is wait. I'm set to visit Collin again tomorrow. Have Patrick brought here immediately. John isn't going to relax until he can be assured of your safety." Sam reaches out and touches Bailey's face. "I know you feel protective of him, too. We all do, but he's a man, not a boy, and he's strong. You have to believe he can handle this."
"I'll make the call." Bailey relents as Sam smiles at him. "John's right. You never give up."
"No, I don't. Neither of you have any room to criticize. I'm going in to talk to John. Why don't you give us a few minutes and check in with George?" Sam offers before turning back to John's door.
hr "Have you found anything out on St. Claire?" Bailey asks George as he takes a seat next to him in the hospital waiting room. The room is silent except for the sound of the keyboard clicking under George's quick typing.
"So far there is nothing to indicate he was capable of violence like this. There is something interesting though. Collin told Sam it was his younger brother who got killed right?" George asks, momentarily looking up from his laptop.
"Yes."
"They were twins. Collin and Connor St. Claire. Now, the funny thing is Connor St. Claire was born five minutes earlier than Collin." George continues to type into his computer. "Connor also spent a lot of time in and out of prison. Rape; assault with a deadly weapon, and armed robbery. He even has a Juvenile record. Bailey, they were identical." George watches as the rage comes over Bailey's face.
"That sick Son of a Bitch. He took his Brother's identity. Collin probably told whoever kept hassling him over the debts that they had the wrong guy but they didn't believe him." Bailey muses, his mind working over drive.
"Perhaps. What if Collin was trying to save Connor by offering some type of deal? You know an installment plan or something and wouldn't give the location of his brother who was probably hiding from O'Doyle." George suggests as Bailey nods his head.
"So, O'Doyle starts to work both the brother and the father, trying to locate the guy who owed him money and when they refused to talk, he killed them. He probably thought that would bring Connor out from hiding." Bailey clenches his fist as he rises to his feet. "Except Patrick O'Doyle miscalculated. Instead of St. Claire just coming out of hiding he spent some time doing research on John and decided to enforce his own form of revenge. I think it's time I had a talk with Connor St. Claire. Georgie, did they match his fingerprints yet?"
"I'm checking. You know how behind booking can get. It's here, Bailey. He is Connor St. Claire not Collin. He had to of known we would figure this out." George ponders. "That was why he was toying with Sam. He knew she would have to come back. What kind of person allows their twin brother and father to suffer and die for their sins?"
"The same kind of person who makes a son suffer for his Father's. Okay I need to confer with Sam and figure out where to go from here. Patrick O'Doyle should be arriving any time now." Bailey informs him through clenched teeth. "I have a feeling John will want the meeting to be in private and I don't think that's a good idea."
"I agree with you, but it's his Father. You know he had a lot of time to think about his Dad while he's been going through this. Maybe he can finally say some of the things he's needed to say to him for some time now." George suggests. "Besides, we're all here. The man isn't going to have a chance to hurt John again."
hr
"How are you feeling?" Sam asks John gently only to receive an annoyed glare. "I guess you are tired of me asking you that."
"I'm tired of people hovering over me like I'm an invalid." John seethes angrily. "Bailey is practically smothering me."
"Do you not want him to stay with you anymore?" Sam questions only to receive silence. Then it hits her. "You're angry with yourself because you do want him to stay."
"Go to Hell." John growls, unable to meet her concerned gaze. Why did she have to be so good at her job? Why did he have to be her newest case? She hit the nail on the nose. As much as he hates having to need anyone, he does sleep better when a member of the team is around. He felt safe when he heard Grace yelling at Patrick. He was calm when Sam stayed with him that first night. His fear was quickly subsided when he realized Bailey hadn't left his bedside and was standing as a barrier between him and anyone who dared to try and come into the room. He longs to see George who he knows is using every hacker trick in the book to help solve this case. It hits him like a ton of bricks. This team is the closet thing he'll ever have to a family and he can't handle needing them so. He needed his Mom and she was taken from him. He even needed his Father once, and never even had a chance to experience that kind of relationship. Damn this to Hell. I can't end up like this. It's not me. I've always depended solely on myself. How can I allow myself to need them so?
"You know it's okay to want help, John. We all care about you and.."
"I can't do this, Sam." John whispers painfully. "I have been on my own for years now. Taking care of myself is my job not anyone else's."
"You can't spend your life never leaning on someone. We love you John and would do anything to help you just like we know you'd do the same for us. You have done the same for us on many occasions." Sam gently reaches out and touches his bruised cheek and is surprised when he doesn't push away her touch. His eyes are so filled with anguish that it breaks her heart and she longs to take away even a little of his pain. "You have been violated, John. I know how hard that is to get through. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful I have you and the rest of the team to help me get through my ordeal with Jack. We are a team, John. We function as a unit and when one of us is hurting we all feel it. We're your Family." She whispers wiping away a tear that slips down his cheek.
"I know." He mumbles. "It's just I haven't had a family in so long that it's hard to know how to deal with it. If any of you were hurt because of me; I wouldn't be able to handle it."
"John, if we end up getting hurt it's not your fault. You can't take responsibility of someone else's actions. It's a painful lesson to learn. I blamed myself for Tom's death for a long time. Then I blamed myself for every person Jack killed in my name." Sam admits and is surprised when he reaches up and takes her hand in his own, offering a tender squeeze.
"None of that was your fault." He assures her and then he offers a weak smile. "I get your point. None of this is my fault either right? I let him take me, Sam. You have no idea how hard it is for me to feel so damn.." His words trail off as he looks into her beautiful eyes.
"It's okay to feel scared, John. It wouldn't be normal not to feel that way." Sam informs him as a knock comes to the door. "I believe that is your Father. Do you want one of us to stay with you?"
"No, I need to see him alone." John mumbles, struggling to fight the rage and fear that suddenly consumes him. He has dreaded this day for so long now that his throat goes dry as the door opens and his Father walks in, handcuffed. Their eyes meet as Sam closes the door behind her and a few moments of silence pass.
Patrick is the first to speak. "You look like Hell."
"Thanks." John mumbles.
"Speak up boy." The elder man scolds. "I always hated when you mumbled. Speak with authority if you expect anyone to listen to you."
"Okay." John states evenly, his voice hard and cold as he stares into his Father's eyes. God, I really do look like him. How could Mom even stand to look at me? "You will NOT harm Bailey Malone or anyone else I work with."
Patrick chuckles as he takes a seat next to his son. "Malone is the one who arrested me for making an attempt on his life. Seems only right that if I should do the time I should do the crime."
"I swear to you, if you hurt him, I'll kill you." John grimaces when a sudden onslaught of pain enraptures his body. Time for his medicine and he doesn't want anyone coming in the room right now.
"Suck it up, Johnny. I would think you would have toughened up some by now." Patrick admonishes. "St. Claire said you just walked into that van with him."
"Yeah." John forces himself not to react, to not give his father the satisfaction.
"I have thought you were many things, Son, but stupid wasn't one of them." Patrick's voice is cold; emotionless as he takes in the damage inflicted upon his boy. "He also said you begged for death. Only weak men beg."
"I've always been weak in your eyes." The younger man turns away and tries to tune his father's voice out of his head.
"You are weak Johnny and stupid. What kind of man just allows himself to be taken? Did he rape you too? Did you let that happen as well?" Patrick demands. "Answer me, Boy. I have the right to know."
"You don't have the right to anything!" John screams out. "You killed his family and he came after me, you self-righteous bastard. Why are you even here? Why did you come to the hospital in the first place? You don't give a damn about me, you never have."
"I wanted to see what a disgrace you really became. There was a time I was upset that you changed your last name, but now I'm honestly relieved. You never deserved the name O'Doyle." Patrick bitterly replies. "Look at you, a total disgrace to your Mother and me."
"Don't!" John yells. "You never mention her name. You killed her!"
"No, Johnny, you killed her. If you hadn't ran to her whining about a little discipline she would have been safe at home with me rather than driving out there on the streets alone. Don't place your guilt with me, Son, you carry it yourself. Try to at least be a man. St. Claire will pay for what he did, but you can forget about asking me any favors for Malone. No one makes a fool of me and walks away." Patrick rises up and turns to leave when John says angrily.
"I will make you beg for death, you son of a bitch, if anything happens to Bailey." When Patrick turns to look at his son, all he finds his pure hatred in the younger man's blue eyes. "Everything you care about, O'Doyle, I'll rip it away from you piece by piece until you learn what it's like for the people who owe you money. Stay the Hell away from him."
"You'd threaten my life over the life of your boss?" Patrick asks coolly.
"He's more of a Father to me than you could ever be. Touch any of them, Patrick, and I swear on my Mother's grave I will come after you unlike anything you have ever witnessed." John's voice shakes with rage and to his surprise a smile crosses over his father's face.
"I guess you are an O'Doyle after all, Johnny boy." Patrick practically beams with pride. "Fine, you have my word I won't go after your surrogate Father or your little friends. You just see to it that you don't get yourself in a mess like this again. I've always hated cleaning up after you." Without another word, Patrick opens the door and walks out, leaving John shaking on the bed. Once it's shut and he is alone the floodgates open and the hot tears spill down his cheeks.
I'm nothing like you; he tries to convince himself as he pushes all the words his Father has said out of his mind. It doesn't work. All he can feel is guilt over his Mother's death and ignorant for allowing him to be caught. He's right, he thinks to himself. Only weak men beg and all I've been doing lately is begging. I'm a disgrace to my Mother and to my badge. He turns away and looks at the wall across the room when the door opens. It's Bailey and Sam, he knows this without bothering to turn around. No matter how hard he tries, he can't suppress the tears. At least his sobs are quiet and maybe they will give him the dignity to be left alone.
No such a luck. He feels her touch his shoulder and he closes his eyes to try and close himself off. "John, what happened?" She asks as she gently rubs his back, careful not to hurt his wounds.
"He won't hurt any of you." John chokes out. "I need to be alone. Please leave."
Bailey turns to go and Sam quickly follows. Outside, he turns to her. "I told you this was a mistake. He's losing it again."
"He's grieving, Bailey. That's not a bad thing. We'll give him a little bit then maybe he will want to talk. Let's go over what we've found out so far about the St. Claire's with George and Grace. George has all of John and Patrick's records now too." Sam offers as Bailey grimaces. "Yeah, I know. I'm not looking forward to it either, but we have to know. I want to make sure I'm prepared the next time I go in to talk to St. Claire. Bailey, it's been awhile since you profiled anyone, but do you think you can try and get inside of John's head while I'm working with St. Claire. We need to know what he's thinking if we're going to be able to help him."
"I'm already working on it." Bailey admits. "Sam, it's not good either. He's in a real dark place."
"I know, Bail. Make sure you keep a look out for any signs he may try something drastic." Sam points out gently, not wanting to say it.
"You mean I need to be sure he won't try and kill himself right? If he looks like he is heading that way then I'll have to send him to the other ward." Bailey lets out a sigh and then looks at Sam. "He told me he didn't think he would make it out of the psych ward if he were to go in. How accurate do you think that observation is?"
"I don't know, and I hope we don't have to find out." Sam informs him as they join George and Grace.
"From locking me in the crazy room?" John screams. "You and Sam are the psychotic ones. You just don't get what you're dealing with. My father will kill you Bailey and I can't live with that."
"He's not going to be able to harm me, John." Bailey begins only to have John look back up at the ceiling.
"I want to see him." John manages to choke out. When he receives nothing but silence, he turns to face Bailey; his blue eyes welling with unshed tears. "Do that for me. Arrange for him to be brought here so that I can speak with him."
"That's not a good idea, John. You shouldn't be worrying about Patrick O'Doyle when you're recovering." Bailey explains as John looks up at him with pleading eyes.
"I'm not worried about him, Bailey. You have no idea the kind of man Patrick is. He is capable of more than you can imagine. I don't care how many psychos' you've tracked down on the Force you haven't come up against my Father. He pushed St. Claire to do this to me. George tells me the guy didn't even have a record before Patrick Fucked with his family. You have to let me handle this. I'm the only one who can. Now, unless you want me to find my own way out of here, bring my father to see me." John lets out the breath he's been holding and watches as Bailey struggles with the request. He can't bring himself to tell his friend that the only reason he wants to see Patrick is to make sure Bailey remains safe. A knock comes to the door and he closes his eyes. Even before the door opens he knows it's Sam. This day can't get any worse.
Bailey chooses to ignore John's request, grateful for the temporary distraction of answering the door. Opening it, he comes face to face with Sam. "He wants to see Patrick." Bailey mumbles only to turn when John angrily yells out.
"I'm not deaf! Stop whispering about me like I'm in a coma or something."
"Hey John." Sam says gently as she approaches the brooding man. "I understand today has been pretty eventful."
"You just couldn't leave it alone could you, Samantha?" He asks bitterly. Her dark blue eyes bore into him and he refuses to meet her gaze. His blood is boiling beneath his skin and the walls of the room seem to be closing in around him. Get control of yourself, he admonishes silently. Bailey is already about to change his mind on committing you. I need to get a marriage of convinance so I can at least have a next of kin who will listen to me. "He told you everything didn't he?"
"Actually, no." Sam admits as Bailey gives her a questioning look. "He admitted to some of the things he did to you but was pretty evasive. Collin has a desire to drag this out. He called your Father."
"I figured as much." John mutters. "Why didn't he just kill me?"
"I believe he planned to, John." Sam answers softly as she takes his hand in hers only to have him jerk it away. The tension in the room is overwhelming. "George is checking into St. Claire's past. I have a hard time believing that someone who was capable of this has never acted out in violence before."
"Patrick O'Doyle can make anyone change." John mutters shooting Bailey a withering glare. "I want to see him and I want to see him now. Are you going to arrange for it, Malone or do I have to break out of here?"
"John, I don't recommend you seeing your Father right now." Sam warns gently. "Considering your history with him.."
"You know NOTHING about my history with my Father!" John hisses through clenched teeth.
"I know enough that he could hurt you emotionally right now." Sam counters, ready to stand firm in the argument. The pain in his eyes shakes her to her core as he shakes his head.
"He will KILL Bailey unless I talk to him. Sam, you have to help me out here. I can't have Bailey's death on my conscience." John pleads, his voice cracking as his fears rise to the surface.
"John, I told you he is locked up. He won't be able to hurt me." Bailey attempts to assure him only to have Sam cut him off.
"Why would Patrick O'Doyle want to kill Bailey?" Sam demands, as John shoots another glare in Bailey's direction.
"Bailey baited Patrick into threatening his life so now he's sitting behind bars. What Malone doesn't seem to understand is that my Father won't go down for a crime hasn't committed. You have to let me see him. I can handle it, I promise." John begs, not caring that he resorted to pleading once again. The longer it takes to see his Father the less likely Bailey's chances of seeing a long healthy life are.
Sam takes in the situation and then turns to Bailey. "You need to bring Patrick here." She states it simply and firmly and when Bailey opens his mouth to argue she raises an eyebrow. "May I see you outside for a moment?"
"How about I just put my finger in my ears and hum and then you guys don't have to waste your energy?" John spits out angrily as his visitors silently leave the room.
"Are you insane? The last thing John needs right now is a visit from his psychotic Father!" Bailey hisses in an angry whisper.
"He is worried sick that something is going to happen to you, Bail." Samantha counters. "Don't you get it? You have been the one who's been here since this nightmare began. You were the first one through the door, and the one to help him keep some of his dignity. Bailey, you rode in the ambulance with him, placed yourself as next of kin and have stayed at the hospital ever since he's been admitted. John isn't used to being cared for like that. It's probably the closet thing he's ever experienced to having paternal love with the exception of his Grandfather. The mere idea that something could happen to you while he is stuck in that hospital bed feeling helpless is to much for him to take. Add in the fact that it could be his Father who ends up hurting you and he is going crazy in there."
"I don't want that man tormenting John." Bailey replies, taking her words to heart. "He's already been through Hell."
"He's still going through it and he has a point. No one knows what Patrick O'Doyle is capable of more than John. Let him have this. He won't rest until he has had a chance to confront him. Maybe if he can unleash some of his anger at his Father it will help with his recovery. O'Doyle might even surprise us and not emotionally torment his son." Sam offers. "He rushed over here to see him right? St. Claire made it clear that he tortured John to pay back Patrick. No matter how much animosity there is between John and his Father, that has to be playing on O'Doyle's mind. His son was hurt because of him. Let him see the damage."
"We know that he hurt John too. Why should we even think he would feel sympathy for John now?" Bailey growls. "He's going to taunt him. John knows that his Father will blame him for letting this happen. He's already blaming himself. This could be the straw that sends him over the edge. God, Sam, he's already wished for death more than once." Leaning against the hospital wall, Bailey closes his dark eyes. "There is no other way?"
"No. George is doing everything he can to provide us with all the information there is available on St. Claire and his family. He's also working on information on John and Patrick O'Doyle. All we can do is wait. I'm set to visit Collin again tomorrow. Have Patrick brought here immediately. John isn't going to relax until he can be assured of your safety." Sam reaches out and touches Bailey's face. "I know you feel protective of him, too. We all do, but he's a man, not a boy, and he's strong. You have to believe he can handle this."
"I'll make the call." Bailey relents as Sam smiles at him. "John's right. You never give up."
"No, I don't. Neither of you have any room to criticize. I'm going in to talk to John. Why don't you give us a few minutes and check in with George?" Sam offers before turning back to John's door.
hr "Have you found anything out on St. Claire?" Bailey asks George as he takes a seat next to him in the hospital waiting room. The room is silent except for the sound of the keyboard clicking under George's quick typing.
"So far there is nothing to indicate he was capable of violence like this. There is something interesting though. Collin told Sam it was his younger brother who got killed right?" George asks, momentarily looking up from his laptop.
"Yes."
"They were twins. Collin and Connor St. Claire. Now, the funny thing is Connor St. Claire was born five minutes earlier than Collin." George continues to type into his computer. "Connor also spent a lot of time in and out of prison. Rape; assault with a deadly weapon, and armed robbery. He even has a Juvenile record. Bailey, they were identical." George watches as the rage comes over Bailey's face.
"That sick Son of a Bitch. He took his Brother's identity. Collin probably told whoever kept hassling him over the debts that they had the wrong guy but they didn't believe him." Bailey muses, his mind working over drive.
"Perhaps. What if Collin was trying to save Connor by offering some type of deal? You know an installment plan or something and wouldn't give the location of his brother who was probably hiding from O'Doyle." George suggests as Bailey nods his head.
"So, O'Doyle starts to work both the brother and the father, trying to locate the guy who owed him money and when they refused to talk, he killed them. He probably thought that would bring Connor out from hiding." Bailey clenches his fist as he rises to his feet. "Except Patrick O'Doyle miscalculated. Instead of St. Claire just coming out of hiding he spent some time doing research on John and decided to enforce his own form of revenge. I think it's time I had a talk with Connor St. Claire. Georgie, did they match his fingerprints yet?"
"I'm checking. You know how behind booking can get. It's here, Bailey. He is Connor St. Claire not Collin. He had to of known we would figure this out." George ponders. "That was why he was toying with Sam. He knew she would have to come back. What kind of person allows their twin brother and father to suffer and die for their sins?"
"The same kind of person who makes a son suffer for his Father's. Okay I need to confer with Sam and figure out where to go from here. Patrick O'Doyle should be arriving any time now." Bailey informs him through clenched teeth. "I have a feeling John will want the meeting to be in private and I don't think that's a good idea."
"I agree with you, but it's his Father. You know he had a lot of time to think about his Dad while he's been going through this. Maybe he can finally say some of the things he's needed to say to him for some time now." George suggests. "Besides, we're all here. The man isn't going to have a chance to hurt John again."
hr
"How are you feeling?" Sam asks John gently only to receive an annoyed glare. "I guess you are tired of me asking you that."
"I'm tired of people hovering over me like I'm an invalid." John seethes angrily. "Bailey is practically smothering me."
"Do you not want him to stay with you anymore?" Sam questions only to receive silence. Then it hits her. "You're angry with yourself because you do want him to stay."
"Go to Hell." John growls, unable to meet her concerned gaze. Why did she have to be so good at her job? Why did he have to be her newest case? She hit the nail on the nose. As much as he hates having to need anyone, he does sleep better when a member of the team is around. He felt safe when he heard Grace yelling at Patrick. He was calm when Sam stayed with him that first night. His fear was quickly subsided when he realized Bailey hadn't left his bedside and was standing as a barrier between him and anyone who dared to try and come into the room. He longs to see George who he knows is using every hacker trick in the book to help solve this case. It hits him like a ton of bricks. This team is the closet thing he'll ever have to a family and he can't handle needing them so. He needed his Mom and she was taken from him. He even needed his Father once, and never even had a chance to experience that kind of relationship. Damn this to Hell. I can't end up like this. It's not me. I've always depended solely on myself. How can I allow myself to need them so?
"You know it's okay to want help, John. We all care about you and.."
"I can't do this, Sam." John whispers painfully. "I have been on my own for years now. Taking care of myself is my job not anyone else's."
"You can't spend your life never leaning on someone. We love you John and would do anything to help you just like we know you'd do the same for us. You have done the same for us on many occasions." Sam gently reaches out and touches his bruised cheek and is surprised when he doesn't push away her touch. His eyes are so filled with anguish that it breaks her heart and she longs to take away even a little of his pain. "You have been violated, John. I know how hard that is to get through. Not a day goes by that I am not grateful I have you and the rest of the team to help me get through my ordeal with Jack. We are a team, John. We function as a unit and when one of us is hurting we all feel it. We're your Family." She whispers wiping away a tear that slips down his cheek.
"I know." He mumbles. "It's just I haven't had a family in so long that it's hard to know how to deal with it. If any of you were hurt because of me; I wouldn't be able to handle it."
"John, if we end up getting hurt it's not your fault. You can't take responsibility of someone else's actions. It's a painful lesson to learn. I blamed myself for Tom's death for a long time. Then I blamed myself for every person Jack killed in my name." Sam admits and is surprised when he reaches up and takes her hand in his own, offering a tender squeeze.
"None of that was your fault." He assures her and then he offers a weak smile. "I get your point. None of this is my fault either right? I let him take me, Sam. You have no idea how hard it is for me to feel so damn.." His words trail off as he looks into her beautiful eyes.
"It's okay to feel scared, John. It wouldn't be normal not to feel that way." Sam informs him as a knock comes to the door. "I believe that is your Father. Do you want one of us to stay with you?"
"No, I need to see him alone." John mumbles, struggling to fight the rage and fear that suddenly consumes him. He has dreaded this day for so long now that his throat goes dry as the door opens and his Father walks in, handcuffed. Their eyes meet as Sam closes the door behind her and a few moments of silence pass.
Patrick is the first to speak. "You look like Hell."
"Thanks." John mumbles.
"Speak up boy." The elder man scolds. "I always hated when you mumbled. Speak with authority if you expect anyone to listen to you."
"Okay." John states evenly, his voice hard and cold as he stares into his Father's eyes. God, I really do look like him. How could Mom even stand to look at me? "You will NOT harm Bailey Malone or anyone else I work with."
Patrick chuckles as he takes a seat next to his son. "Malone is the one who arrested me for making an attempt on his life. Seems only right that if I should do the time I should do the crime."
"I swear to you, if you hurt him, I'll kill you." John grimaces when a sudden onslaught of pain enraptures his body. Time for his medicine and he doesn't want anyone coming in the room right now.
"Suck it up, Johnny. I would think you would have toughened up some by now." Patrick admonishes. "St. Claire said you just walked into that van with him."
"Yeah." John forces himself not to react, to not give his father the satisfaction.
"I have thought you were many things, Son, but stupid wasn't one of them." Patrick's voice is cold; emotionless as he takes in the damage inflicted upon his boy. "He also said you begged for death. Only weak men beg."
"I've always been weak in your eyes." The younger man turns away and tries to tune his father's voice out of his head.
"You are weak Johnny and stupid. What kind of man just allows himself to be taken? Did he rape you too? Did you let that happen as well?" Patrick demands. "Answer me, Boy. I have the right to know."
"You don't have the right to anything!" John screams out. "You killed his family and he came after me, you self-righteous bastard. Why are you even here? Why did you come to the hospital in the first place? You don't give a damn about me, you never have."
"I wanted to see what a disgrace you really became. There was a time I was upset that you changed your last name, but now I'm honestly relieved. You never deserved the name O'Doyle." Patrick bitterly replies. "Look at you, a total disgrace to your Mother and me."
"Don't!" John yells. "You never mention her name. You killed her!"
"No, Johnny, you killed her. If you hadn't ran to her whining about a little discipline she would have been safe at home with me rather than driving out there on the streets alone. Don't place your guilt with me, Son, you carry it yourself. Try to at least be a man. St. Claire will pay for what he did, but you can forget about asking me any favors for Malone. No one makes a fool of me and walks away." Patrick rises up and turns to leave when John says angrily.
"I will make you beg for death, you son of a bitch, if anything happens to Bailey." When Patrick turns to look at his son, all he finds his pure hatred in the younger man's blue eyes. "Everything you care about, O'Doyle, I'll rip it away from you piece by piece until you learn what it's like for the people who owe you money. Stay the Hell away from him."
"You'd threaten my life over the life of your boss?" Patrick asks coolly.
"He's more of a Father to me than you could ever be. Touch any of them, Patrick, and I swear on my Mother's grave I will come after you unlike anything you have ever witnessed." John's voice shakes with rage and to his surprise a smile crosses over his father's face.
"I guess you are an O'Doyle after all, Johnny boy." Patrick practically beams with pride. "Fine, you have my word I won't go after your surrogate Father or your little friends. You just see to it that you don't get yourself in a mess like this again. I've always hated cleaning up after you." Without another word, Patrick opens the door and walks out, leaving John shaking on the bed. Once it's shut and he is alone the floodgates open and the hot tears spill down his cheeks.
I'm nothing like you; he tries to convince himself as he pushes all the words his Father has said out of his mind. It doesn't work. All he can feel is guilt over his Mother's death and ignorant for allowing him to be caught. He's right, he thinks to himself. Only weak men beg and all I've been doing lately is begging. I'm a disgrace to my Mother and to my badge. He turns away and looks at the wall across the room when the door opens. It's Bailey and Sam, he knows this without bothering to turn around. No matter how hard he tries, he can't suppress the tears. At least his sobs are quiet and maybe they will give him the dignity to be left alone.
No such a luck. He feels her touch his shoulder and he closes his eyes to try and close himself off. "John, what happened?" She asks as she gently rubs his back, careful not to hurt his wounds.
"He won't hurt any of you." John chokes out. "I need to be alone. Please leave."
Bailey turns to go and Sam quickly follows. Outside, he turns to her. "I told you this was a mistake. He's losing it again."
"He's grieving, Bailey. That's not a bad thing. We'll give him a little bit then maybe he will want to talk. Let's go over what we've found out so far about the St. Claire's with George and Grace. George has all of John and Patrick's records now too." Sam offers as Bailey grimaces. "Yeah, I know. I'm not looking forward to it either, but we have to know. I want to make sure I'm prepared the next time I go in to talk to St. Claire. Bailey, it's been awhile since you profiled anyone, but do you think you can try and get inside of John's head while I'm working with St. Claire. We need to know what he's thinking if we're going to be able to help him."
"I'm already working on it." Bailey admits. "Sam, it's not good either. He's in a real dark place."
"I know, Bail. Make sure you keep a look out for any signs he may try something drastic." Sam points out gently, not wanting to say it.
"You mean I need to be sure he won't try and kill himself right? If he looks like he is heading that way then I'll have to send him to the other ward." Bailey lets out a sigh and then looks at Sam. "He told me he didn't think he would make it out of the psych ward if he were to go in. How accurate do you think that observation is?"
"I don't know, and I hope we don't have to find out." Sam informs him as they join George and Grace.