Disclaimer: Hmm, what do our Lawyers have to say on that one C?
C: No dice.
A: Well it seems we still don't own anything.
Author's Notes: Another chapter, and lo it seems you have donated the power of reviews to us so we might prevent…errr aid B in reading.
B: You know… I should really get around to reading this- *B sits down to read*
C: Whoops looks like the powers out.
*A tosses one of the house's fuses up in the air and catches it*
Pointless Recap (for those of you who read Chapter 3): But soft, it seems Sam has met some crazed camp counselor claiming to be Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, too bad for Sam that she doesn't really remember the Lord Of the Rings saga. At least he's kind of cute, even if he's psycho.
(For those of you who didn't read Chapter 3): The impossible has happened! By the power of Sam's love (even though she never met the guy before in her life) Boromir was brought back from the grave and fell in love with Courtney, a Sith Lord, who happens to be madly in love with Legolas. But Sam loves both Legolas and Boromir, what will she do!? Poor Aragorn was forced into the arms of Celeborn for comfort.
C: Don't you think that joke has gone on long enough?
A: … When the readers start to complain then it's gone on long enough.
[/ sanity]
[fic properties= "parody" chapter= "4" elves= "wood" cosplayer properties(?)= "you.wish"]
[romance= "internal error."]
"It is half a day's walk down this path 'Sam.'" Legolas, who sounded like he was still having trouble with the concept of calling a woman 'Sam,' turned around and motioned in the direction She was headed when they had first 'met.'
"Okay, what are we waiting for?" Sam motioned for him to continue leading the way. "My mother will fillet me if she doesn't hear from me soon!" Legolas looked somewhat shocked at the punishment, but he led on without another word.
The two continued walking, and they came to a group of rather tall trees, taller than most of the others. Sam looked up as they passed under them and could swear she saw people up in platforms built high off the ground. Sam kept looking at the trees and figured she must look like the most paranoid person in the world, but she didn't care. Legolas lead the way through that rather quiet stretch of path, and snickered when they had passed out from under the tallest of the trees.
"What?" Sam looked at him, and blinked.
"It seems the other two have told the town about your fighting and then kidnapping me." Legolas turned slightly but continued walking down the path.
"Town? I thought you worked at Camp Wahoo-zit or whatever it was called." Sam blinked, and Legolas shook his head. Sam was about to say something when Legolas slowed down and pointed to what looked like a cave that had a pair of grandiose gates formed out of living trees.
"We've arrived." Legolas said, and Sam stared at the gates wide eyed and smiling.
"That is some damn impressive gardening…" She clapped a few times and the gates opened. "Wow…functional too… cool." Legolas looked perplexed at her usage of the word 'cool' but shrugged it off as a set of Elves came swiftly out of the palace. "Oh damn…" Sam cringed inwardly as she spotted the two men she had brutally knocked out yesterday. One of them had a shiner that looked like a purple Nerf ball had been surgically implanted over his right eye; the other was hunched over slightly and was walking a tad less gracefully than the others.
"Prince Legolas, you have captured the attacker!" The two injured men glared at her, well one of them glared… the other might have just squinted to see her, Sam wasn't too sure.
"Captured! What have you been smoking!? I captured him and he brought me here to call my Mom!" Sam protested, she hated it when people didn't give her due credit. "Wait- Prince?" She stopped and stared at Legolas.
"Indeed." Legolas nodded at her, and motioned for her to go inside first.
"Oh you'd better not be going back on your word 'Prince.'" She grumbled as she walked through the gates and into the rather cozy and well-lit cave.
Legolas followed Sam, and then the group of rather apprehensive looking men, Sam nearly had a heart attack when the gates slammed behind them with a clang. Which was rather strange considering they were made out of trees. They walked through the rather regal looking cave and Sam was quite impressed, this most definitely didn't look like any summer camp she had ever seen before.
"Wow," She turned around and managed to look rather absurd while she walked backwards and talked to Legolas. "This is really amazing. Sci-Fi and Fantasy Convention?" Legolas nodded as she said amazing, but then his expression went back to his usual mildly amused smile accompanied by the slightly confused look he seemed to have adopted in the brief time since they had met. He was about to respond when one of the guards behind him spoke up in a rather 'snippy' tone.
"Truly this is amazing, it is the Royal Hall of the Wood-Elves." He gave her a rather irritated and distrustful look.
"Woah, touch-y." Sam rolled her eyes, and snickered. "Some fans, get their obsession just a little wrong and they're all over you!" Sam threw up her arms in an exasperated motion and shrugged as she turned around to walk facing forward again. "You know I read the book too!" She said over her shoulder.
'I have got to find where these people get their costumes…' Sam thought as she looked at some of the other people in the halls. The group of guards quietly pulled Legolas off to the side and told him something in another language. Sam noticed, but was too busy examining the craftsmanship on one of the wall torches to really care.
"You guys really suck at secrecy. But the foreign language was a good touch." Sam said nonchalantly as she examined the torch. "Wow, there isn't an electrical switch! This is real… cool." She turned around and was about to make a snide remark about the 'fire marshal' but, judging from the looks she was getting she just let it alone for now.
"So, what's up?" She asked the group of guys surrounding Legolas, they answered her with a blank stare and a few of them even looked up to check and see if it was a trick question of some kind. Sam rolled her eyes and sighed… She might as well play along, after all this was their convention. "How art thou? I beseech you to explain of the goings on." She tried in a fake British accent, she half expected them to get angry but they seemed to have a grasp on what she was saying now.
"Well, as it appears Lady-." Legolas was cut off as Sam shot him a rather irritated look. "Ah, Sam. It appears that my father wishes to have a word with you and the other Trespasser." Sam raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged.
"Whatever." She paused, and the group of men behind Legolas had that horribly confused look again. "… Alright." She said and put her hand to her head in frustration. She was going to have the most terrible headache if these guys didn't get a clue.
Legolas motioned for her to go ahead again, and she made a metal note to trick him into going first at least once before she went home. Sam sighed, and walked ahead of all of them down the hall. Sam came to a halt in front of a pair of large slightly ominous stone doors. The group of men that had been following behind her quickly walked up to the doors and pushed them open. Sam watched them move the doors and tried to see what kind of hinges they could possibly be attached to hold those massive doors, but she saw none.
"You guys really went all out." She smiled and was led into the large hall by the two men she had beaten senseless. Yet again she looked rather absurd because she wasn't really looking forward as she walked and her head was turned around to try and see the doors. They pulled her to a stop and she turned and glared at the one on her right. "Hey, what's you guys' problem?" She shot the guard a look, and then pulled her arms free of the two men to get a better hold on her bags.
"Hey! Watch the merchandise buddy!" Sam leaned forward and turned to see a rather disheveled Courtney being led into the room by another pair of guards.
"YO! Courtney!" Sam chimed, and waved her hands in an exaggerated motion.
"YO! Sammy!" Courtney made the same motion. All the elves seemed to wince as they yelled greetings, one could almost cut the tension in the room with a knife.
"Ahem." One of the other random elves cleared his throat to catch the two teenagers' attention. He then pointed to the front of the room, and fell back into the same stance as the other elves.
Courtney looked up first, and her jaw dropped. Sam gave her a strange look and turned around to see what the random guy had been pointing at. Her eyes went wide and she gasped ahead of them, sitting in an intricately carved wooden throne, with a circlet that looked like holly berries and ivy, was the King Thranduil. Legolas was standing back at the doors with a rather stern look on his face, one that mirrored his father's, and the guards in the room looked like they were going to be roasted alive.
"Oh my god," Sam said in sheer awe. She suddenly broke out into applause and a loud 'Woo Hoo!' Courtney gasped and jumped up and down as Sam clapped. "That has to be the best damned Thranduil Cosplay I have ever seen! In fact, that's the only one I've ever seen!"
"Yeah great job! Most guys just go as Elrond or maybe one of his sons!" Courtney cheered and suddenly wished she had a camera. All of the elves suddenly looked incredibly uneasy, and Thranduil stood up.
"That is quite enough." He said in a rather deep booming voice, Sam and Courtney immediately froze and wondered what they said to upset him. "You seem to know each other rather well, therefore I will only ask this of once. Who are you?" There was an uneasy silence. Thranduil's eyes narrowed and Sam decided to answer.
"Well then, if Courtney isn't going to speak up I suppose I will." Sam said and set her hands on her hips. " My name is Samantha Williams, and that cowering blonde yonder is Courtney Smith." Sam received a glare from Courtney; she bowed to Thranduil and smiled.
"Indeed." Thranduil shifted his gaze to Courtney for a moment, and then went back to Sam. "I take it this is the one that attacked you two and kidnapped my son."
"Yes Sir." The man with the horrible shiner bowed and Thranduil nodded.
"In all fairness, they shot at me first." Sam spoke up and Thranduil gave her an impatient look. "And about the Kidnapping, well… I just wanted him to tell me where I could contact my mother…" Sam smiled nervously and got the feeling Thranduil didn't exactly care why she beat up two men and kidnapped his son.
Thranduil made a hand motion and a few of the guards in the room walked up to him and began reporting things in the same strange foreign language. Sam looked over and Courtney and whispered to her.
"Yo, what should we do?" Sam said and leaned over towards Courtney.
"I don't know man." Courtney replied and leaned towards her as well. "I think we might have-like screwed up a 're-enactment' or something…"
"Man, I really don't want to end up in a prison cell tonight dude." Sam said and shot her a look.
"Damned if I want a police record." Courtney sighed, and gulped as the guards left Thranduil and he turned his attention on the two girls again.
"It seems that we are at a stand still. You appear to be quite dangerous, while your friend does not. Yet your friend appears to be skilled at infiltrating heavily guarded areas." Thranduil shot a look at Courtney and she tried to shrink. "I know not what do with you, therefore, you will be kept under guard until a solution can be reached." Thranduil sat back down.
"Oh crap." Sam leaned her head back and imagined what her mother was going to do to her, especially if she had to pay bail.
"Friggin' 'ell…" Courtney nearly swore under her breath.
"Sir, before you call the police might I ask what charges you're going to press? Just for good measure." Thranduil was about to dismiss them into the custody of palace guards when Sam raised her hand and spoke up. Thranduil gave her a rather confused looked and Sam could have screamed.
"Call the 'Police'?" Thranduil looked at them rather strangely and Sam gave up on all her patience.
"GAHH! What is wrong with you people!?" Sam yelled up at the ceiling and tried not to rip out any hair. Courtney nearly jumped out of her skin, along with everyone else in the room, when Sam had her outburst. "We're in Winchesterton Central Park! Why don't you just give up the charade and talk like normal people!"
"I know not of what you speak, but you are most certainly not in any Park." Thranduil was rather irritated with her outburst. "You have passed into our woods, attacked our men, attempted to steal out of the royal treasury, and you question us!" Thranduil was significantly 'miffed.' He waved his hand, and the guards took both of Sam's bags.
"Hey, what the-?" Sam barely had time to protest before they took both her and Courtney out of the room and down a few long halls. Finally the guards that had a hold on either of them stopped and opened a large wooden door. The two girls were 'placed' inside the room and then the door was shut and locked.
[/fic]
[ Court: M.E./OFUM/Elrond= "subpoena" rehab= "imminent" straight jacket properties= "fixed" size= "7"]
Misc: If you read this fic, hoping it would be anything like the summary, please forgive out deception. You can even review your outrage- we just like to know we made a difference. What scares me the most is we have five reviewers, and the secondary recap is startlingly similar to a story I have read.
Information: If you would like to contact the Authors for any reason at all, please feel free to send an e-mail to gambit_gurl_isis@hotmail.com . After all, we don't bite…normally…unless you smell like Barbeque Sauce.
Donate reviews to prevent B from actually reading this fic. Those who read and review will not be fed to my faithful Mini-Balrog (courtesy of Miss Cam), Gandulf.
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