Disclaimer: "Are you dreaming?", "Nope," "I wish," "In another lifetime"
and "Yeah, right. As if." What do those sayings have in common, you ask?
Well, they're all the answer to the question of whether or not I am in any
way affiliated with "So Weird."
Author's Note: I truly appreciate the reviews! Thank you again! And please, R & R!
*Carey's POV *
'There is a strong possibility that you might not be able to walk again. Or even play the guitar. I'm really sorry.'
Those words ran screaming by in my mind, repeating themselves like a broken record for what seemed like the billionth time. I mean, I heard those words- --they rang loud and clear---and on some level I understood the implications. And yet at the same time, there was no way I could allow myself to process them, to believe them.
'You're very lucky to be alive,' the doctor told me.
Well, people's definition of 'lucky' varies. To be alive and live life is not merely going through the motions of living day in, day out. Sometimes you breathe, but you're really dead inside.
And right now, that is exactly how I feel right now. Dead.
"Carey," Irene whispered softly. She had been sitting by the hospital bed for hours now, her normally sparkly eyes rimmed with red and brimming with tears. Her oldest son lay motionless on the bed, unrecognisable beneath the casts, bandages, cuts and bruises that marked his body.
Carey's eyes fluttered softly as he awoke and saw his mother's face. He felt a sense of guilt, seeing how tired and scared she looked, knowing that he caused all that.
"How are you doing, sweetie?" Irene asked, a lump forming in her throat.
"A little sore, but still in one piece," Carey said, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.
"That's good," Irene said, commanding herself mentally to pull herself together. She couldn't allow herself to break down in front of him. She had to be strong and set an example. Otherwise, if she lost hope, Carey would, too. She just couldn't let him give up. Not now. Not ever.
"Where's everybody?" Carey inquired, gingerly craning his neck around to see an empty, stark white room.
"Your dad and Molly are out looking for another doctor as we speak," Irene told her son as she caressed his cheek gently. "You know, for a second opinion? As for Clu, he's around the hospital somewhere. Do you want me to go look for him?"
Carey gently shook his head. "No, that's okay. You don't have to do that. I just---I just need to be alone right now."
Irene bit her lip as Carey's words sank in. Her son was hurting, and there was nothing she could do about it. What kind of a mother was she? She couldn't even protect her son!
"Okay," she whispered, and slowly walked out of the door. "I'll be back soon, I promise."
Irene watched as Little Boy Blue closed his eyes again, and then gently closed the door.
Outside, in the hall, away from her broken child, Irene allowed herself to break down and cry, crying for all that has happened.
'I did this to him,' she thought. 'If it wasn't for me forcing them to drop off the guitars, then all this wouldn't have happened.'
Irene sank down to the ground and cried, tears streaming down her cheeks like a river.
She cried.
Because it was all she could do.
'I did this to him.'
*Clu's POV *
I feel so guilty. Here I am, walking away from the accident with a few scratches, and Carey is---He's in a bad shape, that's for sure. He hurt his arm and his legs. The doctors aren't even sure if he can ever play the guitar or even walk again. Heck, they're not even 100% sure if he'll make it through the night. The damage was extensive.
I can't help but think, you know? If only I didn't insist on talking that short cut, then maybe the accident wouldn't have happened, and Carey would be fine. I was in a hurry, waiting for that phone call from Bleu, and I never even took into consideration that little word called 'safety.'
Mum and Dad---They blame me, I can tell. After all, I was driving. Oh, they never said anything to my face, but I could see it in their eyes. I'm such a screw up. I'm the airheaded disappointment in the family.
If something happens to Carey---God! I will never be able to forgive myself, and I'm sure neither will my parents or anyone else.
Carey might not be able to play the guitar, and music is his life.
Carey might not be able to walk again.
Carey might not live.
And if he doesn't, it's all on me.
All on me.
I'm the only person to blame.
"What do you mean you're leaving tonight?" Ryan asked, pacing across Fi's room in the tiny off-campus apartment Fi and Lucy shared. "We're supposed to be at that art show tonight. Remember? The one that took me months to get the tickets for?"
Fi bristled, then continued to stuff clothes, books, toiletries and what- not in her luggage. "I have to go to Hope Springs NOW!"
"But why?" Ryan had rushed over as soon as he received the enigmatic phone call from Fi, telling him that she was sorry, but she had to cancel their date tonight so she could fly to Hope Springs a.s.a.p. Fi offered little to no explanation, simply saying that there was an emergency she had to attend to back home.
"I told you, it's an emergency," Fi told him patiently, then proceeded to unearth another luggage from her closet. "I have to be home."
"Is it Molly?" Ryan asked.
"No."
"Something to do with Jack, then?"
"Jack's still in Hawaii," Fi told him, unzipping her second luggage and throwing more stuff in haphazardly.
"Well, what emergency is it, then?" Ryan asked, trying not to lose his patience. He spent over three hundred dollars for the tickets to the art show, and there had better be a good explanation as to why Fi couldn't go.
Exasperated, Fi slammed her luggage shut and glared at Ryan. "It's Care, okay? Carey and Clu were in a vehicular accident. Clu's okay, but Carey's in ICU as we speak!"
At the mention of the mousse-loving blonde's name, Ryan's heart sank faster than the Titanic. It all made sense now.
"Fi, why can't it wait? You're not a doctor, and there's nothing you can do to help-''
"Yes, there is, Ryan!" Fi suddenly screamed, lips quivering. "I may not be a *scientist * like you, but I can help Carey! I can be there for him!"
Ryan cringed at the obvious sarcasm in the word 'scientist,' but chose to ignore it. "That's not what I meant, Fi. I'm just saying that leaving now is illogical and irrational when you can leave tomorrow."
"Irrationa!" Fi screamed, outraged. "Illogical! There is nothing irrational or illogical about wanting to support your friend in his time of need!"
"Fiona," Ryan held up both hands in frustration. "You're taking this all the wrong way. I am merely trying to say---"
"I'm leaving today, and that's that!" Fi told him defiantly.
"What difference does a few hours make?" Ryan asked softly, trying to calm her down.
Tears streamed down Fi's cheeks. "Everything! It makes a HUGE difference! I could lose Carey! Don't you get that? My best friend could die!"
With that, Fi sank on her knees and began to cry huge, gulping sobs that racked her petite body. "I can't lose him."
Ryan wrapped his arms around her. "I know, Fi, I know. I'm sorry."
As he held her in his arms, Ryan Ollman had a sinking feeling that he was going to lose Fi soon.
Today would be the day his dream would end. Reality has set in, and Ryan knew that Fi would inevitably choose Carey over him.
Inevitably.
*Fi's POV *
I could see the pain in Ryan's eyes when I told him that I was leaving early because of Carey. Through the years, I had a feeling that he knew of my feelings for Carey. I feel bad, knowing that I hurt him badly, but the thing is, you can't help who you love.
I never wanted to admit it before, even to myself, but I love Carey. I always have and I probably always will. My love for him---it goes beyond the surface. I love him so deeply that sometimes it hurts too much to even think of him.
There were a lot of times when I wanted so badly to tell Carey how I felt, but I stopped myself. You see, I'm afraid of losing him. You know, the way that I lost my dad? I'm afraid that something bad will happen to Carey because I love him. What if that old curse was right? What if my love would cause people to die? What if the O'Shiannan women really were cursed?
My mum loved my dad so much, and well, we all know how that ended; with heartbreak.
Will it end in heartbreak for me, too?
One thing is for sure; I'm coming home.
I'm coming home, Carey.
Please hold on.
Author's Note: I truly appreciate the reviews! Thank you again! And please, R & R!
*Carey's POV *
'There is a strong possibility that you might not be able to walk again. Or even play the guitar. I'm really sorry.'
Those words ran screaming by in my mind, repeating themselves like a broken record for what seemed like the billionth time. I mean, I heard those words- --they rang loud and clear---and on some level I understood the implications. And yet at the same time, there was no way I could allow myself to process them, to believe them.
'You're very lucky to be alive,' the doctor told me.
Well, people's definition of 'lucky' varies. To be alive and live life is not merely going through the motions of living day in, day out. Sometimes you breathe, but you're really dead inside.
And right now, that is exactly how I feel right now. Dead.
"Carey," Irene whispered softly. She had been sitting by the hospital bed for hours now, her normally sparkly eyes rimmed with red and brimming with tears. Her oldest son lay motionless on the bed, unrecognisable beneath the casts, bandages, cuts and bruises that marked his body.
Carey's eyes fluttered softly as he awoke and saw his mother's face. He felt a sense of guilt, seeing how tired and scared she looked, knowing that he caused all that.
"How are you doing, sweetie?" Irene asked, a lump forming in her throat.
"A little sore, but still in one piece," Carey said, his voice barely above a hoarse whisper.
"That's good," Irene said, commanding herself mentally to pull herself together. She couldn't allow herself to break down in front of him. She had to be strong and set an example. Otherwise, if she lost hope, Carey would, too. She just couldn't let him give up. Not now. Not ever.
"Where's everybody?" Carey inquired, gingerly craning his neck around to see an empty, stark white room.
"Your dad and Molly are out looking for another doctor as we speak," Irene told her son as she caressed his cheek gently. "You know, for a second opinion? As for Clu, he's around the hospital somewhere. Do you want me to go look for him?"
Carey gently shook his head. "No, that's okay. You don't have to do that. I just---I just need to be alone right now."
Irene bit her lip as Carey's words sank in. Her son was hurting, and there was nothing she could do about it. What kind of a mother was she? She couldn't even protect her son!
"Okay," she whispered, and slowly walked out of the door. "I'll be back soon, I promise."
Irene watched as Little Boy Blue closed his eyes again, and then gently closed the door.
Outside, in the hall, away from her broken child, Irene allowed herself to break down and cry, crying for all that has happened.
'I did this to him,' she thought. 'If it wasn't for me forcing them to drop off the guitars, then all this wouldn't have happened.'
Irene sank down to the ground and cried, tears streaming down her cheeks like a river.
She cried.
Because it was all she could do.
'I did this to him.'
*Clu's POV *
I feel so guilty. Here I am, walking away from the accident with a few scratches, and Carey is---He's in a bad shape, that's for sure. He hurt his arm and his legs. The doctors aren't even sure if he can ever play the guitar or even walk again. Heck, they're not even 100% sure if he'll make it through the night. The damage was extensive.
I can't help but think, you know? If only I didn't insist on talking that short cut, then maybe the accident wouldn't have happened, and Carey would be fine. I was in a hurry, waiting for that phone call from Bleu, and I never even took into consideration that little word called 'safety.'
Mum and Dad---They blame me, I can tell. After all, I was driving. Oh, they never said anything to my face, but I could see it in their eyes. I'm such a screw up. I'm the airheaded disappointment in the family.
If something happens to Carey---God! I will never be able to forgive myself, and I'm sure neither will my parents or anyone else.
Carey might not be able to play the guitar, and music is his life.
Carey might not be able to walk again.
Carey might not live.
And if he doesn't, it's all on me.
All on me.
I'm the only person to blame.
"What do you mean you're leaving tonight?" Ryan asked, pacing across Fi's room in the tiny off-campus apartment Fi and Lucy shared. "We're supposed to be at that art show tonight. Remember? The one that took me months to get the tickets for?"
Fi bristled, then continued to stuff clothes, books, toiletries and what- not in her luggage. "I have to go to Hope Springs NOW!"
"But why?" Ryan had rushed over as soon as he received the enigmatic phone call from Fi, telling him that she was sorry, but she had to cancel their date tonight so she could fly to Hope Springs a.s.a.p. Fi offered little to no explanation, simply saying that there was an emergency she had to attend to back home.
"I told you, it's an emergency," Fi told him patiently, then proceeded to unearth another luggage from her closet. "I have to be home."
"Is it Molly?" Ryan asked.
"No."
"Something to do with Jack, then?"
"Jack's still in Hawaii," Fi told him, unzipping her second luggage and throwing more stuff in haphazardly.
"Well, what emergency is it, then?" Ryan asked, trying not to lose his patience. He spent over three hundred dollars for the tickets to the art show, and there had better be a good explanation as to why Fi couldn't go.
Exasperated, Fi slammed her luggage shut and glared at Ryan. "It's Care, okay? Carey and Clu were in a vehicular accident. Clu's okay, but Carey's in ICU as we speak!"
At the mention of the mousse-loving blonde's name, Ryan's heart sank faster than the Titanic. It all made sense now.
"Fi, why can't it wait? You're not a doctor, and there's nothing you can do to help-''
"Yes, there is, Ryan!" Fi suddenly screamed, lips quivering. "I may not be a *scientist * like you, but I can help Carey! I can be there for him!"
Ryan cringed at the obvious sarcasm in the word 'scientist,' but chose to ignore it. "That's not what I meant, Fi. I'm just saying that leaving now is illogical and irrational when you can leave tomorrow."
"Irrationa!" Fi screamed, outraged. "Illogical! There is nothing irrational or illogical about wanting to support your friend in his time of need!"
"Fiona," Ryan held up both hands in frustration. "You're taking this all the wrong way. I am merely trying to say---"
"I'm leaving today, and that's that!" Fi told him defiantly.
"What difference does a few hours make?" Ryan asked softly, trying to calm her down.
Tears streamed down Fi's cheeks. "Everything! It makes a HUGE difference! I could lose Carey! Don't you get that? My best friend could die!"
With that, Fi sank on her knees and began to cry huge, gulping sobs that racked her petite body. "I can't lose him."
Ryan wrapped his arms around her. "I know, Fi, I know. I'm sorry."
As he held her in his arms, Ryan Ollman had a sinking feeling that he was going to lose Fi soon.
Today would be the day his dream would end. Reality has set in, and Ryan knew that Fi would inevitably choose Carey over him.
Inevitably.
*Fi's POV *
I could see the pain in Ryan's eyes when I told him that I was leaving early because of Carey. Through the years, I had a feeling that he knew of my feelings for Carey. I feel bad, knowing that I hurt him badly, but the thing is, you can't help who you love.
I never wanted to admit it before, even to myself, but I love Carey. I always have and I probably always will. My love for him---it goes beyond the surface. I love him so deeply that sometimes it hurts too much to even think of him.
There were a lot of times when I wanted so badly to tell Carey how I felt, but I stopped myself. You see, I'm afraid of losing him. You know, the way that I lost my dad? I'm afraid that something bad will happen to Carey because I love him. What if that old curse was right? What if my love would cause people to die? What if the O'Shiannan women really were cursed?
My mum loved my dad so much, and well, we all know how that ended; with heartbreak.
Will it end in heartbreak for me, too?
One thing is for sure; I'm coming home.
I'm coming home, Carey.
Please hold on.