Chapter 2
Snape waited until Dumbledore finished his drink.
"Albus?"
"Yes,Severus?"
"Something's bothering me."
"Really." He moved closer to Snape. "Tell me."
For a moment,he didn't know what to say. He knew Dumbledore would
wait all night,but Snape was not as patient.
"I can't stop thinking about it,Albus...am I..."
"Yes,you are," Dumbledore smiled. "Except,of course, when you aren't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know," Dumbledore said. "I'm just babbling."
"You're not drunk,are you?"
"I can't remember the last time I was drunk. I'm perfectly sober.I've
been drinking water all evening. Is my eccentricity ever a pain?"
"I have nothing but the highest respect for you. There have been times when we've been at odds,but I assume you're well aware of my opinion of you."
"I trust you're aware that I hold you in high esteem."
"I'm still trying to understand why," Snape said. "I suppose,
someday,I'll figure it out...now,can I ask the question?"
"Go ahead. What's troubling you,Severus?"
"You recall the conversation we had on your balcony earlier tonight?"
"I remember every word."
"Well,we never determined which character I am. And now I can't
get the thought out of my head...Albus,am I Q?"
"Hmmm. Well...we agreed that I'm Picard. Sibyl over there is Troi.
Harry-there he is-is Wesley Crusher. Poppy,Beverly Crusher. Hagrid is
Worf-"
"Do you know any Klingonese?"
"You know,I tried learning it once,but I lost the book...I know how
to say ROOF and UNFORTUNATE and EVISCERATE,but that's all. I should
find another copy,really. Alastor is LaForge...we never came up with a Yar-"
"I did," Snape said. "Quirrell."
"Mmm. See,that's why you're most like Data. He wants to be human,
and every day,wether you want to admit it or not,I see that in you.
Every day you wage a battle between good and evil. I wish you could see the things that I see in you."
"Sometimes I wish I could,too. But if I'm not Q,then who is? And
what about Madame Hooch and Professor Sprout and Filius and-"
"Don't strain yourself,Severus. Professor Flitwick is our Miles
O'Brien."
"I forgot about Chief O'Brien."
"How could you forget about Colm Meaney?"
"You're the expert on cinematic culture,Albus."
"I'll have to take you to more films. You really would benefit from
a good cinematic experience. As for Adrianna,I think she would have made a marvelous Lwaxana Troi."
"Although Sprout is nowhere near as annoying as Lwaxana Troi."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.
"What? Professor Sprout has never given me a reason to dislike her. She's fully aware of...who I was...and when she looks at me...well,
the fact that she can look at me and not shake with revulsion is enough for me. I find her company...comforting,somehow."
"I see."
"And Madame Hooch? Simple...K'heylar."
"Worf's wife."
"Absolutely. Before she was murdered,of course."
Snape was silent for a moment. Then he frowned.
"What about Voldemort?" he asked.
"Nagilum."
"I don't remember Nagilum."
"From the episode 'Where Silence Has Lease'. He was this huge
...entity they encountered in a starless void and he wanted to
kill a lot of the crew because he was curious about death."
"Did he kill anyone?"
"He killed one redshirt."
"How did they-"
"They just left him there,alone. Balanced out Good and Evil.
As they did with Armus."
"Armus..."
"Come on,Severus. You remember Armus. 'Skin Of Evil',the creature
that killed Yar. He was made up of negative thoughts and he wanted
to get off the planet and Picard told him-" Dumbledore cleared his
throat-"'I'm not taking you ANYWHERE.' and beamed back to the ship."
"I have vague memories of it."
"First day of vacation," Dumbledore said,"I'm going to lock you
in your chambers with a complete set of NEXT GENERATION videos and
you're going to watch every one of them."
"Well,if I must..."
"You must. The art of storytelling should be indulged in every way. It is an art practiced in both our worlds."
"I should probably learn how to work a VCR,then."
"A daunting task,I assure you."
"But not impossible."
Dumbledore looked at him over those glasses. "Nothing's impossible.
Would you like something to drink?"
"Just some water,Albus."
Dumbledore handed him a glass of water. He drank every last drop.
Then he had a thought.
"What about THE X FILES?"
"One story at a time,Severus."
Snape waited until Dumbledore finished his drink.
"Albus?"
"Yes,Severus?"
"Something's bothering me."
"Really." He moved closer to Snape. "Tell me."
For a moment,he didn't know what to say. He knew Dumbledore would
wait all night,but Snape was not as patient.
"I can't stop thinking about it,Albus...am I..."
"Yes,you are," Dumbledore smiled. "Except,of course, when you aren't."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know," Dumbledore said. "I'm just babbling."
"You're not drunk,are you?"
"I can't remember the last time I was drunk. I'm perfectly sober.I've
been drinking water all evening. Is my eccentricity ever a pain?"
"I have nothing but the highest respect for you. There have been times when we've been at odds,but I assume you're well aware of my opinion of you."
"I trust you're aware that I hold you in high esteem."
"I'm still trying to understand why," Snape said. "I suppose,
someday,I'll figure it out...now,can I ask the question?"
"Go ahead. What's troubling you,Severus?"
"You recall the conversation we had on your balcony earlier tonight?"
"I remember every word."
"Well,we never determined which character I am. And now I can't
get the thought out of my head...Albus,am I Q?"
"Hmmm. Well...we agreed that I'm Picard. Sibyl over there is Troi.
Harry-there he is-is Wesley Crusher. Poppy,Beverly Crusher. Hagrid is
Worf-"
"Do you know any Klingonese?"
"You know,I tried learning it once,but I lost the book...I know how
to say ROOF and UNFORTUNATE and EVISCERATE,but that's all. I should
find another copy,really. Alastor is LaForge...we never came up with a Yar-"
"I did," Snape said. "Quirrell."
"Mmm. See,that's why you're most like Data. He wants to be human,
and every day,wether you want to admit it or not,I see that in you.
Every day you wage a battle between good and evil. I wish you could see the things that I see in you."
"Sometimes I wish I could,too. But if I'm not Q,then who is? And
what about Madame Hooch and Professor Sprout and Filius and-"
"Don't strain yourself,Severus. Professor Flitwick is our Miles
O'Brien."
"I forgot about Chief O'Brien."
"How could you forget about Colm Meaney?"
"You're the expert on cinematic culture,Albus."
"I'll have to take you to more films. You really would benefit from
a good cinematic experience. As for Adrianna,I think she would have made a marvelous Lwaxana Troi."
"Although Sprout is nowhere near as annoying as Lwaxana Troi."
Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.
"What? Professor Sprout has never given me a reason to dislike her. She's fully aware of...who I was...and when she looks at me...well,
the fact that she can look at me and not shake with revulsion is enough for me. I find her company...comforting,somehow."
"I see."
"And Madame Hooch? Simple...K'heylar."
"Worf's wife."
"Absolutely. Before she was murdered,of course."
Snape was silent for a moment. Then he frowned.
"What about Voldemort?" he asked.
"Nagilum."
"I don't remember Nagilum."
"From the episode 'Where Silence Has Lease'. He was this huge
...entity they encountered in a starless void and he wanted to
kill a lot of the crew because he was curious about death."
"Did he kill anyone?"
"He killed one redshirt."
"How did they-"
"They just left him there,alone. Balanced out Good and Evil.
As they did with Armus."
"Armus..."
"Come on,Severus. You remember Armus. 'Skin Of Evil',the creature
that killed Yar. He was made up of negative thoughts and he wanted
to get off the planet and Picard told him-" Dumbledore cleared his
throat-"'I'm not taking you ANYWHERE.' and beamed back to the ship."
"I have vague memories of it."
"First day of vacation," Dumbledore said,"I'm going to lock you
in your chambers with a complete set of NEXT GENERATION videos and
you're going to watch every one of them."
"Well,if I must..."
"You must. The art of storytelling should be indulged in every way. It is an art practiced in both our worlds."
"I should probably learn how to work a VCR,then."
"A daunting task,I assure you."
"But not impossible."
Dumbledore looked at him over those glasses. "Nothing's impossible.
Would you like something to drink?"
"Just some water,Albus."
Dumbledore handed him a glass of water. He drank every last drop.
Then he had a thought.
"What about THE X FILES?"
"One story at a time,Severus."