I don't own anyone so don't sue me. The great Gwen gave my idea for the
end. So ummmm have a nice day.
I went over to Matt's house because I needed someone to talk to. I took the long walk across town just to get to his house and find that Trish was there.
"Why..why does this always happen to me!" I screamed in the middle of the street. I guess that I was loud because Matt heard me from inside.
"Lita, is that you." Matt grabbed his jacket before running out and putting it around me.
"What are you doing out here, its raining cats and dogs."
"I.I"
"Forget it just get in the house!" he putt his arm around me and pulled me into the house. Trish was sitting down on the floor watching TV. She went and got a towel when she saw me.
"Lita here take this you need to get warm."
"Thanx?"Matt came into the room with some of his cloths in his hand.
"What where you doing out there. You know this isn't the best part of town." He started yelling at me. I could tell that he wasn't trying to be mean but that he was just concerned.
"Matt." Trish said, "Stop It." she said looking at the tears running down my face.
"I love you Lita!" Matt said as he stood next to me. "Trish can you let us talk for a few minutes."
"No problem" Trish walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Matt took my hand and pulled me in to his room. Now his room is not big. I mean you have just about enough room to put a bed and dresser. Matt told me to get changed and he would be right back. He gave me some black baggy pants and his Sublime shirt. He came back in with some hot chocolate.
"All right batch" he said with a smile "what wrong, I love you." no matter how mad or sad I was at the world Matt could always make me smile. When he saw that my face didn't move he got concerned. "Hey hottie what wrong." He sat down next to me. There was only one word I could think to say.
"Everything"
"Ummm elaborate." the tears fell from my eyes "oi, oi"
"Love that's the matter" I looked down I couldn't look him in the eye. How can you tell one of your best friend that he's the one that making you cry. He knelt down next to the bed and wiped the tears from my eyes.
"What happen" I stood up. The pain is too much. I can't go on like this.
"Nothing.it doesn't matter nothing I want will come to me!"
"Lire."
"Oh yeah, then the one person I really love why can't I have." I went to open his door and walk out but he grabbed my hand.
"Who?"
"Matt. I can't tell you" I managed to get loss of his grip but he shut the door right in front of me.
" You wont tell me of all people..Come on dude." I love you is that what you want to hear. You know you don't, who could ever love me. Your happy you should stay that way.
"Matt you know I would and will let you know but I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry I came over her." He wrapped his arm around me. Jesus this is to good. This is a dream I know it.
" But.come on dude when else do I talk to you like this, I know it blows but shit. I wanna try to help even in the slightest." He set me back down on the bed, still in his arms.
"Matt.you can't!" he placed a hand on my head and started to run his fingers over my hair. Kiss me, please just do that, kiss me and let this all be over with.
"I'm sure you can dear you have the power to do most anything." He stopped and looked into my eyes. How could he not know? Can't he see what he is doing to me?
"I can't please just go hang out with your girlfriend."
"I don't know what to say to you.you never talk about crap like this in person, now you're here and you refuse. What am I supposed to do..GOD. I want to help you being sad is no fucking good I hate that. Please let me help you."
" I promises next time I see you I will tell you all about It." he broke eye contact.
"You'll "forget" and you know me I wont bring it up being the timid fraddy cat that I tend to be." I stood up and stared walking around the room.
"Matt, I will bring is up but I really don't want to think about it. I'm going to need to tell you but not now.not here." I managed to make it out in the hall this time but he still stopped me.
"Your being an ass you know that. Will you just give it up tell me what's going on.please" I felt a sudden pain not one that could be help by anyone but him. A kind of pain of anger and frustration, love and passion.
"Fine I fell for a guy that has a girlfriend that he is now crazy about." I thought that the pain would go away but it just made it worse. I realized what I might say if I stayed there. How many thing I might just come out and tell him.
"Who?"
"I can't Matt I don't' want to hurt the two of them."
"And why would telling me hurt the two of them?" I put my head down in shame almost. How could I ever tell him? How could I tell him that he's the one that's making me cry? Hes to happy . " Please..I promises I will tell you, but I can't right now. I'm going to need to but I can't right now!"
"Lita! Stop playing these fucked up games. What the fuck is it1" his fist hit the wall in an act of anger. So hard that the bandanna on his head fell to the floor.
"I will tell you everything you want to know in time." I guess Trish heard him hit the wall because she came running in.
"Hey! Com down Matt." She said as she pushed him aside. "Go sit down in the other room, let me talk to her." She pushed me back into Matt's room as he went down the hall. She came in and sat on the bed.
"Ok, what wrong babe?"
"I told you but I can't say the hole thing. Cuz I don't even know!" She placed a hand on mine.
"Lita, no worries. This guy is probably an asshole anyway." HA! Your going out with him you of all people should know how in love you could get.
"He's anything but."
"Well what's he like." I looked at her
"Everything could ever want."
"Does he know you like him?" GOD this is killing me. Why.why do you get to have him? huh! What makes you so damn great? Why do I have to sit here and cry over him everyday when you get everything I could ever want?
"Yes and no"
"Well did you tell him?"
"I can't!" I yelled
"Why?" I got up and stood in front of her.
"Don't you get it? He doesn't love me. He has a girlfriend and I don't want there to be bad feels between us.
"Is he worth the sadness." The anger turned to sadness in less then a second.
"Yes, but I can't think of being with out him."
"Lita, what's his name?" I choked on my tears.
"Stop bringing that up.please. I'm sorry I can't talk about this anymore." I got out in the hallway before she pulled me back in.
"Hey Lita is it Matt." I turned and walked down the hall.
"No." I saw Matt in the kitchen. He got up and gave me a hug
"I'm sorry for yelling at you."
"Its all right, I'v got work I have to go..goodbye Matt" I walked out and took the long walk home. "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need to talk again." I looked at him one last time. "Goodbye Matt."
Now I'm here, here in this hell. I know that I will never get what I want. So I'm telling you this now. Matt I love you. I always have, from the every first time I saw you. I want to you live a great life and I never want to be sad and never want your life to come to this, you're my love. And that will never end. I dropped the note to the floor. As tears of love ran down my face I thought about everything and knew what I had to do. It only took a second, there was no pain. My body lied there for a day without anyone knowing I was there. Till.Matt and Trish went for a walk in the wood and happened to find me. Cold, stiff, lifeless..DEAD
I went over to Matt's house because I needed someone to talk to. I took the long walk across town just to get to his house and find that Trish was there.
"Why..why does this always happen to me!" I screamed in the middle of the street. I guess that I was loud because Matt heard me from inside.
"Lita, is that you." Matt grabbed his jacket before running out and putting it around me.
"What are you doing out here, its raining cats and dogs."
"I.I"
"Forget it just get in the house!" he putt his arm around me and pulled me into the house. Trish was sitting down on the floor watching TV. She went and got a towel when she saw me.
"Lita here take this you need to get warm."
"Thanx?"Matt came into the room with some of his cloths in his hand.
"What where you doing out there. You know this isn't the best part of town." He started yelling at me. I could tell that he wasn't trying to be mean but that he was just concerned.
"Matt." Trish said, "Stop It." she said looking at the tears running down my face.
"I love you Lita!" Matt said as he stood next to me. "Trish can you let us talk for a few minutes."
"No problem" Trish walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Matt took my hand and pulled me in to his room. Now his room is not big. I mean you have just about enough room to put a bed and dresser. Matt told me to get changed and he would be right back. He gave me some black baggy pants and his Sublime shirt. He came back in with some hot chocolate.
"All right batch" he said with a smile "what wrong, I love you." no matter how mad or sad I was at the world Matt could always make me smile. When he saw that my face didn't move he got concerned. "Hey hottie what wrong." He sat down next to me. There was only one word I could think to say.
"Everything"
"Ummm elaborate." the tears fell from my eyes "oi, oi"
"Love that's the matter" I looked down I couldn't look him in the eye. How can you tell one of your best friend that he's the one that making you cry. He knelt down next to the bed and wiped the tears from my eyes.
"What happen" I stood up. The pain is too much. I can't go on like this.
"Nothing.it doesn't matter nothing I want will come to me!"
"Lire."
"Oh yeah, then the one person I really love why can't I have." I went to open his door and walk out but he grabbed my hand.
"Who?"
"Matt. I can't tell you" I managed to get loss of his grip but he shut the door right in front of me.
" You wont tell me of all people..Come on dude." I love you is that what you want to hear. You know you don't, who could ever love me. Your happy you should stay that way.
"Matt you know I would and will let you know but I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry I came over her." He wrapped his arm around me. Jesus this is to good. This is a dream I know it.
" But.come on dude when else do I talk to you like this, I know it blows but shit. I wanna try to help even in the slightest." He set me back down on the bed, still in his arms.
"Matt.you can't!" he placed a hand on my head and started to run his fingers over my hair. Kiss me, please just do that, kiss me and let this all be over with.
"I'm sure you can dear you have the power to do most anything." He stopped and looked into my eyes. How could he not know? Can't he see what he is doing to me?
"I can't please just go hang out with your girlfriend."
"I don't know what to say to you.you never talk about crap like this in person, now you're here and you refuse. What am I supposed to do..GOD. I want to help you being sad is no fucking good I hate that. Please let me help you."
" I promises next time I see you I will tell you all about It." he broke eye contact.
"You'll "forget" and you know me I wont bring it up being the timid fraddy cat that I tend to be." I stood up and stared walking around the room.
"Matt, I will bring is up but I really don't want to think about it. I'm going to need to tell you but not now.not here." I managed to make it out in the hall this time but he still stopped me.
"Your being an ass you know that. Will you just give it up tell me what's going on.please" I felt a sudden pain not one that could be help by anyone but him. A kind of pain of anger and frustration, love and passion.
"Fine I fell for a guy that has a girlfriend that he is now crazy about." I thought that the pain would go away but it just made it worse. I realized what I might say if I stayed there. How many thing I might just come out and tell him.
"Who?"
"I can't Matt I don't' want to hurt the two of them."
"And why would telling me hurt the two of them?" I put my head down in shame almost. How could I ever tell him? How could I tell him that he's the one that's making me cry? Hes to happy . " Please..I promises I will tell you, but I can't right now. I'm going to need to but I can't right now!"
"Lita! Stop playing these fucked up games. What the fuck is it1" his fist hit the wall in an act of anger. So hard that the bandanna on his head fell to the floor.
"I will tell you everything you want to know in time." I guess Trish heard him hit the wall because she came running in.
"Hey! Com down Matt." She said as she pushed him aside. "Go sit down in the other room, let me talk to her." She pushed me back into Matt's room as he went down the hall. She came in and sat on the bed.
"Ok, what wrong babe?"
"I told you but I can't say the hole thing. Cuz I don't even know!" She placed a hand on mine.
"Lita, no worries. This guy is probably an asshole anyway." HA! Your going out with him you of all people should know how in love you could get.
"He's anything but."
"Well what's he like." I looked at her
"Everything could ever want."
"Does he know you like him?" GOD this is killing me. Why.why do you get to have him? huh! What makes you so damn great? Why do I have to sit here and cry over him everyday when you get everything I could ever want?
"Yes and no"
"Well did you tell him?"
"I can't!" I yelled
"Why?" I got up and stood in front of her.
"Don't you get it? He doesn't love me. He has a girlfriend and I don't want there to be bad feels between us.
"Is he worth the sadness." The anger turned to sadness in less then a second.
"Yes, but I can't think of being with out him."
"Lita, what's his name?" I choked on my tears.
"Stop bringing that up.please. I'm sorry I can't talk about this anymore." I got out in the hallway before she pulled me back in.
"Hey Lita is it Matt." I turned and walked down the hall.
"No." I saw Matt in the kitchen. He got up and gave me a hug
"I'm sorry for yelling at you."
"Its all right, I'v got work I have to go..goodbye Matt" I walked out and took the long walk home. "Ok. I'll see you tomorrow. Call me if you need to talk again." I looked at him one last time. "Goodbye Matt."
Now I'm here, here in this hell. I know that I will never get what I want. So I'm telling you this now. Matt I love you. I always have, from the every first time I saw you. I want to you live a great life and I never want to be sad and never want your life to come to this, you're my love. And that will never end. I dropped the note to the floor. As tears of love ran down my face I thought about everything and knew what I had to do. It only took a second, there was no pain. My body lied there for a day without anyone knowing I was there. Till.Matt and Trish went for a walk in the wood and happened to find me. Cold, stiff, lifeless..DEAD