I had to do this one last chapter,just for a laugh. Thanks for your
reviews,everyone.
Aztec-glad it made you laugh...
Jazz-You get not only one more chapter,but TWO!
Silverdreamer-thanks a lot.
Katherine-Here's your answer.
NTS-Monty Python,huh? Hmmmm...
3.
Snape opened his eyes.
He saw the stars first; they looked close enough to touch,on the
other side of the window.
He groaned.
He seemed to be sitting at a long table.
He saw no candles anywhere.
On a whim,he said,"Lights."
The lights came on.
The room was horribly familiar.
Snape saw his reflection in the table.
He nearly fell out of the chair.
Instead of panicking,he took a long look at his reflection in the table. His hair had not been altered,but...
"My eyes...I look like Madame Hooch."
He touched his face...his skin certainly felt real,but there was
a sheen to it-
"I am Data," he whispered.
There was a Starfleet badge on his uniform.
He thumped it. On a whim,he said "Dr. Crusher?"
"Crusher here," he heard. It was not the voice of Gates McFadden.
She sounded more like Poppy Pomfrey.
"What is it,Data?"
"I am not certain," he said. "...I think I...I think I should come
down to sickbay..."
"Data? Are you all right?"
"No,Dr. Pomf...I mean,Crusher...I'm most assuredly NOT all right."
There was a door leading out of the room. When he neared it,it
opened all by itself.
He stepped out of the room; he found himself in a corridor he only
knew from the other side of a television set. Snape usually preferred
to leave Muggle culture alone; usually it scared the wits out of him.
Sometimes,though,he turned in that direction for intellectual
stimulation,and had seen every episode of every STAR TREK series
ever made. It was the writing,he supposed. Now,he stood in one of
the corridors of the Enterprise...but the Enterprise had been
destroyed in GENERATIONS. He decided thinking about it would just
cause problems in the space-time continuum and started off down the
hall.
"Data," a familiar voice called.
He stopped,wondering if Severus Snape had ever existed.
Then he turned.
The man coming toward him was supposed to be Geordi LaForge. However,
he did not remember LaForge having a wooden leg.
Merlin,he thought. It's happening. That's Geordi,but Alastor Moody's
merged with him somehow-
"Can I have a word?"
"What is it?"
"I just talked to Dr. Crusher."
"And what did the good doctor have to say?"
"She said you were mean to her."
"I feel strange," he said. "I must get to the bridge."
He ran away from Geordi; at the end of the hallway,there
was another door marked TURBOLIFT 138.
The doors swished open and he stumbled into the turbolift.
"Bridge," he said.
He felt the sensation of movement. After a moment,it stopped.
The doors opened.
Candles floated over the bridge. The instruments glowed in the
intimate lighting. He stepped out of the turbolift.
"Data?"
One by one,the bridge crew turned to look at him. There was Hagrid,
with the Klingon sash slung over his shoulder; Snape...or Data...or
whoever he was...he tore his eyes away from Hagrid with difficulty.
Hagrid was now a Klingon; he had never seen anything so fearsome or beautiful as Hagrid was right now.
He turned towards the voice. Trelawney. Troi. There was no difference
anymore because they were one.
"Counselor," he said.
"Data-"
"Can it,Troi."
He turned. Professor McGonagall stood on the other side of the
room,the color of her emerald robes appropriated onto her
Starfleet uniform.
McGonagall was Number One.
McGonagall was Riker?
Fortunately,she didn't have a beard.
"Now,now,Number One-"
Picard rose from the Captain's chair.
"-remember,we've repressed all the hostility out of our systems."
It was true. Albus made a great Picard. Even if he still had all
his hair.
"Now,Data,what's the matter?"
He cackled. "I have an OFF switch," he said. He pressed his fingers into his side. "If I find it,I don't want you activating it again."
"Data," McGonagall sighed-"What-"
"My name is NOT Data. None of this is really happening. And as soon as I find my Off switch-oh,WHERE is that BLOODY Off sw
reviews,everyone.
Aztec-glad it made you laugh...
Jazz-You get not only one more chapter,but TWO!
Silverdreamer-thanks a lot.
Katherine-Here's your answer.
NTS-Monty Python,huh? Hmmmm...
3.
Snape opened his eyes.
He saw the stars first; they looked close enough to touch,on the
other side of the window.
He groaned.
He seemed to be sitting at a long table.
He saw no candles anywhere.
On a whim,he said,"Lights."
The lights came on.
The room was horribly familiar.
Snape saw his reflection in the table.
He nearly fell out of the chair.
Instead of panicking,he took a long look at his reflection in the table. His hair had not been altered,but...
"My eyes...I look like Madame Hooch."
He touched his face...his skin certainly felt real,but there was
a sheen to it-
"I am Data," he whispered.
There was a Starfleet badge on his uniform.
He thumped it. On a whim,he said "Dr. Crusher?"
"Crusher here," he heard. It was not the voice of Gates McFadden.
She sounded more like Poppy Pomfrey.
"What is it,Data?"
"I am not certain," he said. "...I think I...I think I should come
down to sickbay..."
"Data? Are you all right?"
"No,Dr. Pomf...I mean,Crusher...I'm most assuredly NOT all right."
There was a door leading out of the room. When he neared it,it
opened all by itself.
He stepped out of the room; he found himself in a corridor he only
knew from the other side of a television set. Snape usually preferred
to leave Muggle culture alone; usually it scared the wits out of him.
Sometimes,though,he turned in that direction for intellectual
stimulation,and had seen every episode of every STAR TREK series
ever made. It was the writing,he supposed. Now,he stood in one of
the corridors of the Enterprise...but the Enterprise had been
destroyed in GENERATIONS. He decided thinking about it would just
cause problems in the space-time continuum and started off down the
hall.
"Data," a familiar voice called.
He stopped,wondering if Severus Snape had ever existed.
Then he turned.
The man coming toward him was supposed to be Geordi LaForge. However,
he did not remember LaForge having a wooden leg.
Merlin,he thought. It's happening. That's Geordi,but Alastor Moody's
merged with him somehow-
"Can I have a word?"
"What is it?"
"I just talked to Dr. Crusher."
"And what did the good doctor have to say?"
"She said you were mean to her."
"I feel strange," he said. "I must get to the bridge."
He ran away from Geordi; at the end of the hallway,there
was another door marked TURBOLIFT 138.
The doors swished open and he stumbled into the turbolift.
"Bridge," he said.
He felt the sensation of movement. After a moment,it stopped.
The doors opened.
Candles floated over the bridge. The instruments glowed in the
intimate lighting. He stepped out of the turbolift.
"Data?"
One by one,the bridge crew turned to look at him. There was Hagrid,
with the Klingon sash slung over his shoulder; Snape...or Data...or
whoever he was...he tore his eyes away from Hagrid with difficulty.
Hagrid was now a Klingon; he had never seen anything so fearsome or beautiful as Hagrid was right now.
He turned towards the voice. Trelawney. Troi. There was no difference
anymore because they were one.
"Counselor," he said.
"Data-"
"Can it,Troi."
He turned. Professor McGonagall stood on the other side of the
room,the color of her emerald robes appropriated onto her
Starfleet uniform.
McGonagall was Number One.
McGonagall was Riker?
Fortunately,she didn't have a beard.
"Now,now,Number One-"
Picard rose from the Captain's chair.
"-remember,we've repressed all the hostility out of our systems."
It was true. Albus made a great Picard. Even if he still had all
his hair.
"Now,Data,what's the matter?"
He cackled. "I have an OFF switch," he said. He pressed his fingers into his side. "If I find it,I don't want you activating it again."
"Data," McGonagall sighed-"What-"
"My name is NOT Data. None of this is really happening. And as soon as I find my Off switch-oh,WHERE is that BLOODY Off sw