Cray walked toward the front room with Kit trailing behind him. He motioned
for her to sit down on the couch before sitting down next to her. He took
her hand and raised her chin so that she was looking him in the eye.
"Amelia you and Jeremy need to talk. He needs to know everything. You can't
keep this all bottled up, you are going to explode like a summer thunder
storm if you aren't careful."
Kit moved her chin out of Cray's hand and looked at her hands thinking. When she spoke it was so low that Cray had to strain to hear her, "I can't talk to him right now. I'd be opening up old wounds and it hurts too much."
"Kit you have let this fester for over a year now. You remember when I was 10? That was the summer Pop and your pa were putting in the loft in the barn. We were told not to go anywhere near the barn if we didn't have on boots, remember?" Kit nodded slightly. "Well I didn't listen and I was goofing off near there and cut my foot on a nail. I knew I wasn't supposed to be there so I didn't tell Ma or Pop and it got infected. It was so bad that I couldn't walk on it.
Well Ma found out about it and even though my foot had sort of healed up Ma took a knife and cut it open. When she did all this junk came out. It hurt for awhile, but you know it stopped hurting and my foot healed. I have a scar, you've seen it but Ma told me at the time that if we hadn't drained my foot of the bad stuff I could have lost my leg.
Kit let yourself heal with out taking care of this problem so it has festered up. I know talking to Jeremy about it is going to hurt just like it hurt when Ma cut my foot again. But talking will get all the bad stuff out and maybe you can heal right this time and you'll feel better."
Kit didn't say anything after Cray had finished, instead she kept her thoughts to herself letting a few tears trickle down her cheek, not wiping them away. Cray gave her a hug and got up, preparing to leave her with her thoughts, "Kit you don't have to talk to him today, since we are leaving to go to the farm. But mention that you two have something to talk about before we leave so he'll stick around till we get back."
Kit nodded and Cray smiled then left the room. Kit watched him leave then curled up on the couch as the tears fell. This entire year had messed something fierce with her emotions. She had gone from being a happy girl to an emotional wreck. She thought she had gotten over the worse, the nightmares had stopped and she was happy again, that was until they had gotten to Nebraska. All of a sudden all the things she had thought she had left behind had come to the surface and now she was dealing with them again. She hated it. Why couldn't she have stayed in Brooklyn? She would have been just fine never seeing Jeremy or Josh again. Yes she missed her siblings but they could have come out to visit her.
Footsteps in the hallway broke through the unnaturally quietness of the house and Kit looked up to see Bait standing the doorway. "Kit youse okay?"
She got up wiping her eyes, "Yeah Bait, I'm fine. Do you need something?"
Bait nodded, "Cray wanted me to tell you wes leaving now."
"I'll be right out." Kit straighten her clothing and smoothed out her hair. Bait hadn't moved, "So how do I look?"
Bait looked at her seriously, "Horrible."
Kit smiled, "Well thanks for being so honest. Go tell Cray I'll be right out." She ruffled his hair as he went out and up the stairs.
Bait nodded and scampered off shouting, "Cray she'll be right out."
Kit stopped on the stairs and shook her head before continuing u the stairs and into the room she had slept in the night before. She looked in the mirror and saw that Bait had been right. She looked horrible. She untied her braid and combed her fingers through her hair before rebraiding it and retying the end. She then poured some water into the basin and took a wash cloth, and cleaned up her face. She took a breath and turned around, then jumped. "My lord, Josh how long have you been there?"
Josh rolled up onto his elbow and looked at her from his position on the bed. "I've been here all the time. You better get going or you'll get to the farm after dark."
Kit nodded and edged her way out of the room, waiting for Josh to do something. She then rushed down the stairs and outside.
When she got outside she saw that everyone was ready to go. Cray motioned for her to get into the back of the wagon before, turning to Joel, "Well Joel, Karen, thanks for letting us stay the night. We'll see you when we come back to return the wagon."
Kit climbed up into the wagon bed with the help of Tack and Spot. She waved to Karen and the children before sitting down between Spot and Bait. Wil and the girls had decided to go out to the farm for a weekend and were along for the ride. Kit was grateful because the other four children had millions of questions about the surrounding country side and the girls were happy to answer then. Kit felt her eyes get heavy and before long she had laid her head onto Spot's shoulder and was dosing off.
Kit moved her chin out of Cray's hand and looked at her hands thinking. When she spoke it was so low that Cray had to strain to hear her, "I can't talk to him right now. I'd be opening up old wounds and it hurts too much."
"Kit you have let this fester for over a year now. You remember when I was 10? That was the summer Pop and your pa were putting in the loft in the barn. We were told not to go anywhere near the barn if we didn't have on boots, remember?" Kit nodded slightly. "Well I didn't listen and I was goofing off near there and cut my foot on a nail. I knew I wasn't supposed to be there so I didn't tell Ma or Pop and it got infected. It was so bad that I couldn't walk on it.
Well Ma found out about it and even though my foot had sort of healed up Ma took a knife and cut it open. When she did all this junk came out. It hurt for awhile, but you know it stopped hurting and my foot healed. I have a scar, you've seen it but Ma told me at the time that if we hadn't drained my foot of the bad stuff I could have lost my leg.
Kit let yourself heal with out taking care of this problem so it has festered up. I know talking to Jeremy about it is going to hurt just like it hurt when Ma cut my foot again. But talking will get all the bad stuff out and maybe you can heal right this time and you'll feel better."
Kit didn't say anything after Cray had finished, instead she kept her thoughts to herself letting a few tears trickle down her cheek, not wiping them away. Cray gave her a hug and got up, preparing to leave her with her thoughts, "Kit you don't have to talk to him today, since we are leaving to go to the farm. But mention that you two have something to talk about before we leave so he'll stick around till we get back."
Kit nodded and Cray smiled then left the room. Kit watched him leave then curled up on the couch as the tears fell. This entire year had messed something fierce with her emotions. She had gone from being a happy girl to an emotional wreck. She thought she had gotten over the worse, the nightmares had stopped and she was happy again, that was until they had gotten to Nebraska. All of a sudden all the things she had thought she had left behind had come to the surface and now she was dealing with them again. She hated it. Why couldn't she have stayed in Brooklyn? She would have been just fine never seeing Jeremy or Josh again. Yes she missed her siblings but they could have come out to visit her.
Footsteps in the hallway broke through the unnaturally quietness of the house and Kit looked up to see Bait standing the doorway. "Kit youse okay?"
She got up wiping her eyes, "Yeah Bait, I'm fine. Do you need something?"
Bait nodded, "Cray wanted me to tell you wes leaving now."
"I'll be right out." Kit straighten her clothing and smoothed out her hair. Bait hadn't moved, "So how do I look?"
Bait looked at her seriously, "Horrible."
Kit smiled, "Well thanks for being so honest. Go tell Cray I'll be right out." She ruffled his hair as he went out and up the stairs.
Bait nodded and scampered off shouting, "Cray she'll be right out."
Kit stopped on the stairs and shook her head before continuing u the stairs and into the room she had slept in the night before. She looked in the mirror and saw that Bait had been right. She looked horrible. She untied her braid and combed her fingers through her hair before rebraiding it and retying the end. She then poured some water into the basin and took a wash cloth, and cleaned up her face. She took a breath and turned around, then jumped. "My lord, Josh how long have you been there?"
Josh rolled up onto his elbow and looked at her from his position on the bed. "I've been here all the time. You better get going or you'll get to the farm after dark."
Kit nodded and edged her way out of the room, waiting for Josh to do something. She then rushed down the stairs and outside.
When she got outside she saw that everyone was ready to go. Cray motioned for her to get into the back of the wagon before, turning to Joel, "Well Joel, Karen, thanks for letting us stay the night. We'll see you when we come back to return the wagon."
Kit climbed up into the wagon bed with the help of Tack and Spot. She waved to Karen and the children before sitting down between Spot and Bait. Wil and the girls had decided to go out to the farm for a weekend and were along for the ride. Kit was grateful because the other four children had millions of questions about the surrounding country side and the girls were happy to answer then. Kit felt her eyes get heavy and before long she had laid her head onto Spot's shoulder and was dosing off.