Mills and Kit kept walking neither saying anything until they were well
past the house. Kit was the first to speak, "Why does everything have to be
so complicated Mills?"
"Don't know baby but Ise sure it will work out eventually. Least dat is what Cray said."
Kit smiled, "Yeah Cray is the eternal optimist. Mills do you want to live her for the rest of your life?"
"What brought dat on?" Mills asked as they stood on the edge of a wheat field. Kit shrugged, "I don't know but do you?"
"Well Ise would be happy ta live in the middle of a desert if dat meant Cray would be there."
Kit smiled but quickly sobered. "But to be a farmers wife the rest of your life. Live out here away from cities with only your family and maybe a neighbor or two for company? I thought you liked the city."
"Kit Ise think Ise could use a bit of solitude. My entire life Ise been surrounded by people. Me Mam and Da lived on a farm at some point but I don't remember it. Me first memory was da flat in Dublin livin wit me grandparent, two sets of aunts and uncles and a whole bunch of little cousins. Den when Ise 8 Da got passage on a ship to America. Problem was Mam was pregnant wit a barrin.
But wes went on dat boat in a cargo hold no bigger than a bunkroom with 200 other people. Da and Shawn were sicker den two dogs and Mam gave birth to Joey and gave up da ghost in da process, but some how dat baby survived. Da said he was destined for grand things, but he died not four years later. Well Da got us an apartment in da Bronx which Ise never saw da outside of for two years, Ise too busy raising a barrin and two little goils. Da died when Ise ten and we got sent to me Uncle Shamus's. My Aunt Ellen wasn't a cruel woman but da rooms just seemed smaller during her moods. She'd be happy one moment den cursing us out da next.
By the time I turned 13 Ise liven on da street, de entire family, cept Bryon dead and buried. Den came da Refuge, Kit youse lucky never ta get sent there. Every movement youse make is watched, one step out of line adds time to youse sentence. Ise saw 8 year-old children turn 80 over a matter of months. After Ise got out Ise vowed never ta go back. Then Ise joined the newsies in Manhattan ta be close to Bryon, least wise dat was why Ise stayed. It meant 30 half-grown men and me sharing one washroom.
So no Kit Ise not gonna miss the city. Ise couldn't miss it if I tried. Sure Ise gonna miss me friends. But sooner or later dey is gonna want out. And I'll be here waiting ta show them all this." Mills said with a sweeping motion. "Kit youse got youse stars and Ise love being able to breath with out tasting smoke from the factories that took me family. That is what Ise want, Nothing more nothing less. But what do you want Kit? What is it that youse can't live without?"
Kit paused for a moment before answering to gather her thoughts. Then they came out in one big rush. "I want to find somewhere new with no memories. I want to forget all the bad things that have happened, all the guys who have take a part of me and left their scars. I want to start new and not have to worry about whispers or comments made behind my back. I want freedom." She stopped for a moment then began again in a low voice. "And I want to be loved no questions asked. I want to look into the eyes of a guy and not see questions or doubts or scorn. I want to be free of my own doubts and cares and just for one moment know pure happiness."
She stopped again to take in a large breath, and smiled as she continued. "I think I've found it. Even with everything I have told Spot, all the things I kept back and then came to light so quickly and violently; he still looks at me the same way he did the first time we kissed. If he wanted to sail to Australia I would find the boat and go with him. If he wanted to go back to New York I'd be next to him on the train, and if he wanted to stay here and grow old, I would be sitting on the porch with him in forty years. I just want to be able to feel safe." Kit spun around a few times her arms wide open, before sitting on the ground, "And if he wanted to leave me behind I think I would end up wasting away to nothing."
Both girls knelt in the tall grass not moving, or speaking, drawing on the presence of the other's company for strength. They seemed to be two statues incapable of movement until the lunch bell sounded from the main house. "Kit Ise will always be here if youse ever need me." Mills said pulling Kit into a hug. Kit nodded silently as Mills slowly stood up and walked away.
Kit sat in the grass slowly collecting her shattered soul together, piece by piece. Then after long moments she got up and headed back to the way she and Mills came. Ready to face the demons she had with an open smile and a clear mind.
***interlude
For the next two weeks life when non stop. Kit, Mills and Tack worked as a team preparing meals, caring for the children and helping Rose care for both Sid and the animals on the farm. The guys were up at dawn every morning first feeding the livestock, then spending every daylight hour possible bringing in the crops. The only break in the day came at noon.
Then Kit, Mills and Tack would gather the children together and troupe down to the fields and feed the men their sandwiches. Conversation was minimal but laughter at the children's antics came out with ease. Then it was back to work until evening when Spot, Swan and Cray would come up and do the evening chores while the other three put the day's harvest into the silos or barn. Activities only stopped at dark when all 6 men would fall into their beds only to wake up early and do it again. Each day found Kit smiling a bit quicker, laughing a bit longer and brooding a bit less.
***End of interlude
The Sundays in harvest meant a break from the backbreaking work of the week. At noon the whole tribe would trek up to the main house for a large dinner and a time to sit and relax over pumpkin pie and coffee. Kit found that no one disturbed her during those times and would spend hours curled up on the floor reading a favorite book. She still would answer a question or two from the children but it was very peaceful.
The conversation would ebb and flow around her and every once in a while she and Spot would lock eyes and he would smile that easy smile that made her toes curl. This particular Sunday was a celebration, the harvest was totally in except for some of the pumpkins that could sit out in the field a bit longer. The rain had held off until that afternoon and it was now pouring down in sheets. So when Spot came and knelt in front of Kit she was moderately surprised.
"Kit wes need to talk." Kit looked up from her book, Spot's face was a mask no emotion whatsoever was showing. Kit stood slowly as she felt her stomach plummet to her feet. When they reached the door he handed her a shawl and wrapped an old rain cloth around the two of them as they stepped out into the rain.
They walked for a while in silence, the raindrops splattering around them. Kit finally turned to Spot. "What do you need to talk about?"
Instead of answering straight away Spot looked into her eyes before leaning in and kissing her. When they brook apart Kit looked into Spot's eyes as rain streamed down his face, a few of the drops caught on his eyelashes before streaking down like tears as he began to speak. "Ise gonna go back to Brooklyn tomorrow."
Kit took a step back and pulled her shawl over her hair. "What do you mean you are going back to Brooklyn tomorrow?"
"Ise gonna take the train back to Brooklyn and Ise want youse and da twins to stay here until Ise get back."
Kit felt tears fill her eyes, "Stay here? Why do you want us to stay here?"
"Because Ise gonna need a reason to tell everyone to leave Brooklyn again." Spot said placing a hand on her cheek.
Kit turned her face away. "Why can't we go with you? Why do we need to stay here? Why do we even have to leave Brooklyn?"
Spot turned her face back so their eyes met, "Because this is youse home. Ise can't take youse to live in Brooklyn for da rest of youse life. Youse would wither away with out da sun and fresh air dat youse get here. Youse need dis place. It's in youse blood. Da boys need this place. They's growing up too fast in Brooklyn. Here theys can go ta school and get an education and be something. In Brooklyn wes all just street rats begging for money for bread to survive so one day wes can work in da factories till we die. Ise got a chance to get youse and me out of it and Ise gonna take it."
"So you are gonna leave Brooklyn and all your friends? For what?" Kit asked confused.
"Ise leaving it for me. For the boys." Spot stopped and lifted her eyes up to meet his again. "Ise leaving if for you. Youse can't hide it. Youse happy here. Happier than youse ever were selling papes on Coney Island. And the twins love it here. They is able to play and not worry where their next meal is gonna come from."
"But what about you? Brooklyn and being a newsie is all you know." Kit pulled away again.
"Don't mean Ise can't learn this. Kit it ain't like Ise beggin for food no more. Ise working for it and hard too, but at da end of da day Ise the one puttin it on the table. Ise only answer to me here. Ise don't have ta answer to Hearst or Pulitzer or Kosei or Cryder or anybody. Just me. So Ise gonna go back to Brooklyn and Take car of a few things. Then Ise gonna come back. Ise want to make sure Ise ain't gonna come back to a dream."
Kit was silent. Spot put a hand on either side of her face and gently kissed her again. This time the kiss was bittersweet, as if all the emotions from his words were poured into the kiss. As he stepped back again he looked into her eyes, "Kit Ise love you and Ise asking dat youse wait for me."
Kit was speechless, but slowly she nodded, "I'll wait as long as I hafta till you come back."
Spot smiled and pulled her close into a hug, and murmured into her hair, "Good."
"Don't know baby but Ise sure it will work out eventually. Least dat is what Cray said."
Kit smiled, "Yeah Cray is the eternal optimist. Mills do you want to live her for the rest of your life?"
"What brought dat on?" Mills asked as they stood on the edge of a wheat field. Kit shrugged, "I don't know but do you?"
"Well Ise would be happy ta live in the middle of a desert if dat meant Cray would be there."
Kit smiled but quickly sobered. "But to be a farmers wife the rest of your life. Live out here away from cities with only your family and maybe a neighbor or two for company? I thought you liked the city."
"Kit Ise think Ise could use a bit of solitude. My entire life Ise been surrounded by people. Me Mam and Da lived on a farm at some point but I don't remember it. Me first memory was da flat in Dublin livin wit me grandparent, two sets of aunts and uncles and a whole bunch of little cousins. Den when Ise 8 Da got passage on a ship to America. Problem was Mam was pregnant wit a barrin.
But wes went on dat boat in a cargo hold no bigger than a bunkroom with 200 other people. Da and Shawn were sicker den two dogs and Mam gave birth to Joey and gave up da ghost in da process, but some how dat baby survived. Da said he was destined for grand things, but he died not four years later. Well Da got us an apartment in da Bronx which Ise never saw da outside of for two years, Ise too busy raising a barrin and two little goils. Da died when Ise ten and we got sent to me Uncle Shamus's. My Aunt Ellen wasn't a cruel woman but da rooms just seemed smaller during her moods. She'd be happy one moment den cursing us out da next.
By the time I turned 13 Ise liven on da street, de entire family, cept Bryon dead and buried. Den came da Refuge, Kit youse lucky never ta get sent there. Every movement youse make is watched, one step out of line adds time to youse sentence. Ise saw 8 year-old children turn 80 over a matter of months. After Ise got out Ise vowed never ta go back. Then Ise joined the newsies in Manhattan ta be close to Bryon, least wise dat was why Ise stayed. It meant 30 half-grown men and me sharing one washroom.
So no Kit Ise not gonna miss the city. Ise couldn't miss it if I tried. Sure Ise gonna miss me friends. But sooner or later dey is gonna want out. And I'll be here waiting ta show them all this." Mills said with a sweeping motion. "Kit youse got youse stars and Ise love being able to breath with out tasting smoke from the factories that took me family. That is what Ise want, Nothing more nothing less. But what do you want Kit? What is it that youse can't live without?"
Kit paused for a moment before answering to gather her thoughts. Then they came out in one big rush. "I want to find somewhere new with no memories. I want to forget all the bad things that have happened, all the guys who have take a part of me and left their scars. I want to start new and not have to worry about whispers or comments made behind my back. I want freedom." She stopped for a moment then began again in a low voice. "And I want to be loved no questions asked. I want to look into the eyes of a guy and not see questions or doubts or scorn. I want to be free of my own doubts and cares and just for one moment know pure happiness."
She stopped again to take in a large breath, and smiled as she continued. "I think I've found it. Even with everything I have told Spot, all the things I kept back and then came to light so quickly and violently; he still looks at me the same way he did the first time we kissed. If he wanted to sail to Australia I would find the boat and go with him. If he wanted to go back to New York I'd be next to him on the train, and if he wanted to stay here and grow old, I would be sitting on the porch with him in forty years. I just want to be able to feel safe." Kit spun around a few times her arms wide open, before sitting on the ground, "And if he wanted to leave me behind I think I would end up wasting away to nothing."
Both girls knelt in the tall grass not moving, or speaking, drawing on the presence of the other's company for strength. They seemed to be two statues incapable of movement until the lunch bell sounded from the main house. "Kit Ise will always be here if youse ever need me." Mills said pulling Kit into a hug. Kit nodded silently as Mills slowly stood up and walked away.
Kit sat in the grass slowly collecting her shattered soul together, piece by piece. Then after long moments she got up and headed back to the way she and Mills came. Ready to face the demons she had with an open smile and a clear mind.
***interlude
For the next two weeks life when non stop. Kit, Mills and Tack worked as a team preparing meals, caring for the children and helping Rose care for both Sid and the animals on the farm. The guys were up at dawn every morning first feeding the livestock, then spending every daylight hour possible bringing in the crops. The only break in the day came at noon.
Then Kit, Mills and Tack would gather the children together and troupe down to the fields and feed the men their sandwiches. Conversation was minimal but laughter at the children's antics came out with ease. Then it was back to work until evening when Spot, Swan and Cray would come up and do the evening chores while the other three put the day's harvest into the silos or barn. Activities only stopped at dark when all 6 men would fall into their beds only to wake up early and do it again. Each day found Kit smiling a bit quicker, laughing a bit longer and brooding a bit less.
***End of interlude
The Sundays in harvest meant a break from the backbreaking work of the week. At noon the whole tribe would trek up to the main house for a large dinner and a time to sit and relax over pumpkin pie and coffee. Kit found that no one disturbed her during those times and would spend hours curled up on the floor reading a favorite book. She still would answer a question or two from the children but it was very peaceful.
The conversation would ebb and flow around her and every once in a while she and Spot would lock eyes and he would smile that easy smile that made her toes curl. This particular Sunday was a celebration, the harvest was totally in except for some of the pumpkins that could sit out in the field a bit longer. The rain had held off until that afternoon and it was now pouring down in sheets. So when Spot came and knelt in front of Kit she was moderately surprised.
"Kit wes need to talk." Kit looked up from her book, Spot's face was a mask no emotion whatsoever was showing. Kit stood slowly as she felt her stomach plummet to her feet. When they reached the door he handed her a shawl and wrapped an old rain cloth around the two of them as they stepped out into the rain.
They walked for a while in silence, the raindrops splattering around them. Kit finally turned to Spot. "What do you need to talk about?"
Instead of answering straight away Spot looked into her eyes before leaning in and kissing her. When they brook apart Kit looked into Spot's eyes as rain streamed down his face, a few of the drops caught on his eyelashes before streaking down like tears as he began to speak. "Ise gonna go back to Brooklyn tomorrow."
Kit took a step back and pulled her shawl over her hair. "What do you mean you are going back to Brooklyn tomorrow?"
"Ise gonna take the train back to Brooklyn and Ise want youse and da twins to stay here until Ise get back."
Kit felt tears fill her eyes, "Stay here? Why do you want us to stay here?"
"Because Ise gonna need a reason to tell everyone to leave Brooklyn again." Spot said placing a hand on her cheek.
Kit turned her face away. "Why can't we go with you? Why do we need to stay here? Why do we even have to leave Brooklyn?"
Spot turned her face back so their eyes met, "Because this is youse home. Ise can't take youse to live in Brooklyn for da rest of youse life. Youse would wither away with out da sun and fresh air dat youse get here. Youse need dis place. It's in youse blood. Da boys need this place. They's growing up too fast in Brooklyn. Here theys can go ta school and get an education and be something. In Brooklyn wes all just street rats begging for money for bread to survive so one day wes can work in da factories till we die. Ise got a chance to get youse and me out of it and Ise gonna take it."
"So you are gonna leave Brooklyn and all your friends? For what?" Kit asked confused.
"Ise leaving it for me. For the boys." Spot stopped and lifted her eyes up to meet his again. "Ise leaving if for you. Youse can't hide it. Youse happy here. Happier than youse ever were selling papes on Coney Island. And the twins love it here. They is able to play and not worry where their next meal is gonna come from."
"But what about you? Brooklyn and being a newsie is all you know." Kit pulled away again.
"Don't mean Ise can't learn this. Kit it ain't like Ise beggin for food no more. Ise working for it and hard too, but at da end of da day Ise the one puttin it on the table. Ise only answer to me here. Ise don't have ta answer to Hearst or Pulitzer or Kosei or Cryder or anybody. Just me. So Ise gonna go back to Brooklyn and Take car of a few things. Then Ise gonna come back. Ise want to make sure Ise ain't gonna come back to a dream."
Kit was silent. Spot put a hand on either side of her face and gently kissed her again. This time the kiss was bittersweet, as if all the emotions from his words were poured into the kiss. As he stepped back again he looked into her eyes, "Kit Ise love you and Ise asking dat youse wait for me."
Kit was speechless, but slowly she nodded, "I'll wait as long as I hafta till you come back."
Spot smiled and pulled her close into a hug, and murmured into her hair, "Good."