17 year old Erin Kelsy Taylor drove her red Honda down her street in her
wonderful hometown of Cedar Rapids, Iowa. She was on her way to the mall,
one of her favorite places to be. She flipped on the radio. From her
favorite station came, "...we are actually having a contest here at the
mall today... but it's not any ordinary contest. This is our Britney Spears
impersonation contest. Good or bad, we have people here ready to
impersonate Britney. Even an extra special guest who will impersonate
her... hurry, the contest begins in fifteen minutes." "Crap!" Erin
exclaimed. She wasn't sure if she could make it. Making sure no cops were
around, Erin hit the gas and sped as fast as she could. Finally she pulled
into the parking lot of the mall and ran inside. The contest was taking
place in the center of the mall. She spotted her best friend Maddissen
Alannah Smith in the crowd and went over to join her. "So who's this extra
special guest I hear about it?" "I think you better sit down," Maddissen
told her. "You're never going to believe it. It's... um... well..." "God,
get to the point already!" Erin practically screamed. "It's Elijah Wood!!!"
Erin almost fell off her chair. Her heart stopped beating, her eyes grew
wide and she was suddenly experiencing a dizziness in her head. As best she
could, she tried to regain her composure and asked in a calm voice, "You're
shitting me, right?" Maddissen laughed. "No, I'm not "shitting" you." Oh my
god, Erin thought. Elijah was her absolute favorite actor on the planet.
She knew that Elijah had been born in Cedar Rapids but she never actually
thought he'd stop by. She laughed at her own stupidity. Of course he'd stop
by. Sooner or later he'd have to, right? Oh well, the point was that he was
there now and he was going to impersonate Britney. "Come on," she told
Maddissen. "I want to get closer to the front." Somehow they amazingly got
up really close. "This is such a great view!" Erin squealed in Maddissen's
ear. The contest began but Erin couldn't focus on the first couple of acts.
She only wanted to see Elijah in the flesh impersonating Britney Spears.
Finally it was time. The announcer began, "Now, the moment you've all been
waiting for. I am happy to present to you our extra special guest who will
be impersonating Britney... Elijah Wood!" "AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" Erin
screamed. "Ok, yeah, I'm gonna need that ear later," Maddissen told her.
"Sorry," Erin whispered. Elijah stepped on stage and Erin began to wonder
if maybe she had died and gone to heaven. He looked even better in person.
Even dressed up as Britney Spears. He was wearing a blonde girl's wig and a
skimpy shirt all tied up like britney usually wore. Then he had jeans on
and a pink thong on over them. Even before his performance, Erin was about
to burst out laughing. The music began. Elijah's voice came through the
speakers as he started singing "I'm A Slave 4 U." He started off, "I know I
may be young, but I've got feelings too..." He said it with such conviction
and he looked so serious. That was probably the funniest thing about it.
Then he got to the chorus and said "I'm a slave for you, I cannot hold it,
I cannot control it...", and like started humping this pole on the stage.
Someone walked out and sprayed water on him (just like they had in her
music video), so now on top of humping a pole he was also dripping with
water and flipping his hair at the same time. He couldn't have done a more
accurate impersonation of Britney, in Erin's opinion. It was so damn funny
she and Maddissen were on the floor convulsing with laughter. "I swear to
God I'm gonna pee my pants," Erin said. "I think I already did," Maddissen
replied, which made Erin snort and caused them both to laugh harder. When
he was done Erin grabbed Maddissen's arm and said, "Come on, we HAVE to go
find him and talk to him. That was just to awesome." They shoved their way
through the throng of people and ended up running right into him. "Hey! I'm
Maddissen and this is Erin," Maddissen said. "Britney should take lessons
from you." "Yeah," Erin agreed. And then because she couldn't resist she
said, "Nice thong." This time Elijah cracked up. "Thanks. It's my sister's.
Or maybe Orlando's," he joked. "Listen, believe it or not, I'm pretty much
free the rest of the day. Since you girls enjoyed my performance so much,
and you both seem to be pretty cool, how about we go do something?" Elijah
asked. "Sure, that'd be great," Maddissen said. Even though Erin couldn't
believe this was happening to her, she didn't wait a second. "Of course. As
long as I get to keep the thong." Erin was only half serious, but Elijah
didn't seem to mind. "All right," Elijah laughed, "it's a deal. Just let me
change first." He ran into the nearest bathroom. Luckily Maddissen and Erin
didn't have to wait long. Elijah quickly emerged from the bathroom. "Think
fast!" he yelled to Erin, and threw her the thong. She caught it and tossed
it into her purse. When he caught up to them Erin asked, "So what did you
have in mind for us to do?" All of a sudden Maddissen gasped. "I just
thought of something. Paintball!" she exclaimed. Erin wasn't sure where
Maddissen had gotten the idea but it sounded cool to her. "Oh man, that'd
be great," Elijah agreed. "Oh shit!" "What is it Maddissen?" Erin asked.
"God, I can't believe I forgot! Today is my cousin's birthday. She's
turning 11. I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to go and leave you guys to play
paintball alone." "Damn, that's too bad," Elijah said sincerely. "Yeah.
Well I guess... bye," Erin said. Maddissen hugged Erin and Elijah and then
she left. Erin turned to Elijah. "So are we still up for paintball?" "Sure,
but how about we get some pizza first. I am so hungry." "No prob. I'm kinda
hungry myself." They took Elijah's red Ferrari and headed for the closest
Pizza Hut. When they got there they ordered a large pepperoni pizza and
split it. "Hey do you have any quarters?" Erin asked. "I wanna go play a
song from the juke box." "Here ya go." Elijah handed her some money. She
walked over to the juke box and flipped around to see which cd she wanted
to play. One of The Beatles cd's caught her eye. She looked at it and
noticed that it had her favorite Beatles song on there, Love Me Do. She
knew that Elijah loved The Beatles too. She inserted her money and the song
began to play. She went back to her seat. Elijah smiled. "So you like The
Beatles?" "Yeah, this is my favorite song by them. But I have to admit that
I played it also because I know you like them too." "That's ok," Elijah
said. Erin looked into his blue eyes. They were so intense and so
beautiful. They seemed to have so much to say. Erin had always believed
that everyone had a story, you just had to give them a chance to tell it.
Now that she was here with her favorite actor ever, she definitely wanted
to know his story. "So why exactly did you want to impersonate Britney?"
she asked. Elijah laughed. "Well, it kind of all started on the set of Try
Seventeen. See, Mandy doesn't exactly like Britney either. So whenever we
had some free time she would get one of her shirts, tie it up, and parade
around the set acting like Britney. Franka even joined her once. They
wanted me to be Justin Timberlake. I wouldn't do it at first but then I
decided I would do it once just for kicks, so I like went out and bought
this humongous 'fro. When I got back to the set I put it on and
Mandy, Franka and I all went driving around in my Ferrari with Britney
playing in the stereo. It was crazy. I think a few people actually believed
us, especially when we stopped at a red light and Mandy liked jumped on top
of me and we pretended to make out. Anyway, so that's why when I passed
through here and heard about the contest I decided it would be to great of
an opportunity to pass up." Erin was in shock. "You never cease to amaze
me," she laughed. "What are your feelings on Britney?" he asked. "Well, I
did like her a lot pretty much up until this year. I don't know... now
Avril Lavigne is my favorite singer. I think she is really awesome." "Yeah,
she's ok," Elijah said. They had finished most of their pizza so Elijah
paid for it and than they headed to his car. On their way to the paintball
field she asked Elijah if he had ever played before. "Yeah a couple of
times." "I haven't ever played before," Erin admitted. "I've always wanted
to though, so I'm really glad that Maddissen suggested it." She felt so
cool riding with Elijah in his Ferrari. She knew there was absolutlely no
where else she'd rather be. "I can turn on the radio right?" she asked
Elijah. "Sure. You don't have to ask. You know I don't care." She flipped
on the radio and her favorite song came on right at that moment. It was
"Don't Mess With My Man" by Nivea featuring two guys from Jagged Edge. "Oh
my god, I love this song!" Erin exclaimed. She instantly started singing
along, actually forgetting for a few seconds that Elijah was next to her.
"You have a great voice," Elijah said after a minute. Erin blushed.
"Thanks. I never really thought I did but I guess maybe I do." Erin looked
around. "I think we are." Elijah pulled into the parking lot. "Ready to get
your ass whooped?" Erin asked. "We'll see about that." "Please," Erin
grinned playfully, "just because you are Elijah Wood doesn't mean that you
can do everything." "And just because you are Erin Taylor doesn't mean you
can do everything," he shot back. "Come on, let's go." They decided to
throw the paintballs by hand instead of using a gun. "It'll spare you the
pain," Elijah remarked. "Oh, god." Erin rolled her eyes. Erin was ready to
show Elijah what she was made of. And it wasn't all sugar and spice and
everything nice. Whenever they had all their equipment and paintballs Erin
asked Elijah casually, "So, what's your favorite color?" "Blue," he
replied. Erin grinned big and threw a blue paintball at him. "Yeah," she
snorted, "it matches your eyes." She hurled a green one at him. "But then
again, green works for you too." Elijah started charging after her. "Oh
shit!" Elijah hit her with a red and orange one. They kept hitting each
other and they seemed to be tied. She would hit Elijah with one and then
he'd hit her back. Finally they both became so exhausted they collapsed on
the ground. "Too bad Maddissen isn't here. She would have creamed your ass
too." "You keep telling yourself that. Maybe one day it will be true. I
won, and you know it. Besides, if Maddissen were here it wouldn't be fair
competition." Erin smiled. "Yeah, it would. You could have called up Mandy
to be on your team," she laughed. "Good point," Elijah said. "Naw, on
second thought I should have called up somebody from Lord of the Rings.
They really could have helped me beat your ass." "Nope," Erin said. "They
would have been to blinded by my beauty to do anything." Elijah grabbed her
hand and helped her up. "We
better get going." When they got in the car Erin was surprised to see that
it was almost 7:30. "Where are we going?" Erin asked. Elijah smiled slyly.
"You'll see." It was silent while they rode to wherever Elijah was taking
them. Erin didn't mind though, because it gave her a change to reflect on
everything that had happened that day. She knew that she was probably the
luckiest girl on earth at that moment. It was hard to believe how his one
performance at the mall could have led to this. She glanced at him. He
seemed deep in thought, too. She sighed lightly. God, he was so hot no
matter what he did. And she couldn't believe how nice he was! It took her a
minute to realize that the car had stopped. "We're here," Elijah announced.
They were pulled over on the side of the road, with nothing but the stars
of the night surrounding them. They got out and layed on the hood of the
car. "Wow," Erin said. "Today was great. This has seriously been the best
day of my life. Do you do this all the time?" she asked. Elijah laughed.
"Well, not ALL the time. Just when the mood strikes." This time Erin was
the one to laugh. "Why did you decide to spend time with me and Maddissen
instead of somebody else?" "I don't know, I just noticed you guys up front
and afterwards I was thinking of talking to both of you, and obviously you
guys had the same idea too. You just stood out and I needed to have some
fun today. You guys seemed like the perfect people to have fun with, even
though Maddissen isn't here. I'm glad I chose you and not anybody else."
"Thanks," Erin said. "That really means a lot to me. And you have no idea
how glad I am that I had the opportunity to spend time with my favorite
actor and get to know you. Not many people get to do this." She looked over
at Elijah. He turned to face her. "Not
many people get to do this either..." and he leaned over and kissed her. It
wasn't Erin's first kiss but it was without a doubt the best one she had
ever received. And not just because it was coming from Elijah. He really
was a good kisser. It was soft and gentle and just all around perfect. They
stayed and talked a little while longer and then he took her home. She got
out of the car and walked up the steps to her house. Before she entered she
turned around and said, "Goodbye, Elijah!" She saw his brilliant smile and
then he turned and waved back and replied, "Bye, Erin!"
The next day Erin called Maddissen and told her to meet her at the
mall so she could tell her everything that happened. She got there and
began telling her her story. By the time she was done Maddissen was in
shock. "Wow. You are so lucky girl." Erin just smiled. Then Maddissen
laughed. "I still can't believe he gave you that thong. Since he made out
with you, can I have it?" Erin cracked up. "Well, I wouldn't mind giving it
to you, but there's just one problem." "What's that?" "Well..." Erin
paused. "I'm wearing it right now." And once again the girls burst into a
fit of laughter.
