* Disclaimer etc. In part one *
Hogwartrs School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: 8: 00 PM. Weekly Staff Meeting
Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the most prestigious wizarding school in all of Europe was not what one could 'typical' in any way. He was good- natured and had a mischievous side that could rival the Weasley twins. It was that characteristic that led him to call a staff meeting in the middle of the week
Professor Flitwick, Madam Poppy, Madam Hooch, Professor Sprout, the ghost of Professor Bins, Professor McGonagal and Hagrid all spilled into the comfortable room curious as to why they were meeting at such a time. The chairs in the room had been arranged into a semi-circle, and a silvery cube had been elevated about a foot off of the ground.
"Ah good you're all here!" Dumbledore said joyfully. "Popcorn?" he offered, his taste for Muggle treats was a great source of amusement to many of the mansion's inhabitants. Flitwick was the only one to take him up on the offer "Now then, if you'll kindly sit down, I've a bit of a surprise for you."
The faculty took their seats in chairs enchanted to accommodate their own personal tastes. "What you are about to see, I trust will not leave this room." He started in a serious tone, before the ever present twinkle in his eye gleamed. "However, the opportunity to watch Severus Snape in the hands of Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, as he shops for clothing is too good to pass up." "Humoriosa" he chanted and the silver cube suddenly came to life with a picture like muggle television, only in 3-D. Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasly and Harry Potter came into view, and the staff sat mesmerized."
Salem Shopping Centre America 2: 00 P.M.
"Remember, Potter, Miss Granger, any attempts to make me look like an imbecile will be severely punished. Discreetness is key here" Severus Snape said in what he hoped was a reproving voice to mask the paranoia he felt.
Harry and Ron fought the urge to laugh uncontrollably. Visions of Snape in golf attire flashed through their heads. Hermione sensed a coming discrepancy and quickly took the decision into her own hands. "Harry, why don't you take Ron into Blue Anchor? Professor Snape and I will be in Eddie Bauer, we'll meet back her in an hour" she said curtly before strolling off to the latter store. The three males stared at her retreating figure before rushing off into opposite directions.
Ron and Harry entered the Blue Anchor. Ron was immediately blown away by the vast array of pants and shorts in front of him. "How do these people live?" he muttered. "What in blazes is khaki?" he wondered aloud.
"It's a particularly hideous shade of tan Ron. Best to avoid it" Harry advised.
"Let's just move over here," he said pointing to a large rack of jeans
"Are you sure we should be picking this out by ourselves?" Ron queried; looking absolutely stunned at the task before them.
"What, would you rather have Hermione pick out everything for you? I've lived in the muggle world for 17 years Ron, I am capable of picking out some jeans and t-shirts I think." Harry stated in an annoyed tone.
Ron looked nonplussed. "Look Ron, everything goes with jeans. Just pick out some jumpers and some t-shirts and you'll be set. Although I suppose we should get something a bit more formal, but this store doesn't seem to cater to that," he said glancing around at the plethora of skateboarding tee's.
Ron sighed in defeat and began picking clothing off of the racks. Harry noticed he wasn't paying any mind whatsoever to the sizes. "Ron, you have to pick clothes according to their size. You have to remember, they're not enchanted to fit the wearer."
"Oh Merlin's balls, Harry! This is impossible."
"Fine, we'll get Hermione then."
The two boys stalked out of the store and ran into Hermione waiting outside the dressing room entrance for Snape. "Hermione, Ron won't listen."Harry whined like a child.
"What, sizeing problems?" she looked critically at Ron for a few seconds, "size 24X28 for trousers, and large-extra large in shirts."
The boys starred. "I worked at a department store between fifth and sixth year." She stated simply.
Harry and Ron scampered off again looking rather sheepish. Severus Snape reappeared a moment later, or rather his voice did. The man in whole refused to leave the dressing room. "Miss Granger, this 'outfit' you've picked out looks absolutely ridiculous."
"Well I won't know that for certain unless you come out here and show it" she began impatiently.
She trailed off as the man reluctantly stepped out of the booth and into view. Hermione had chosen some semi-casual black dress slacks and a blood red button-down shirt. She thought the effect was quite nice. Where had Snape been hiding those broad shoulders and muscular arms all these years? "I don't see a problem" she replied when she was capable of speaking again. Snape chose to snort, in obvious disbelief. He instead choose to bite his tongue and try on the other garments that she had picked out for him. The surealness of the situation hit him hard. Imagine him, Severus Snape relying on a young Gryffindor witch to dress him. He nearly cracked a smile at the very idea; instead he scowled and roughly grabbed his pile of clothes. Hermione was waiting for him outside. "Now all we have left to get you is proper socks, shoes, and um, underwear" she said coloring slightly.
"Underwear? Good heavens girl, whatever for?" he asked too stunned to thrown in his usual vemon.
"Muggle clothing and wizarding are very different sir."
"Everywhere?"
"Yes."
"How the bloody hell would you know?" Snape exploded.
Hermione's face colored a bit. "It just is," she said not meeting his eyes. "The packages are located over there, I expect you can find your own" she finished in a tight voice.
Snape's look at her retreating back was one of pure hatred. He was certainly not going to believe her rubbish about the difference. He longed to take 15 points from Gryffindor for her impudence. At the moment he hated Albus Dumbledore for sending him to babysit three disgusting Gryffindors. He scowled at the clerk at the counter, satisfied to see the look of apprehension on the teen's face as he thrust the credit card at him. He hoped his act would cover up the fact that he really wasn't all that familiar with the process. Thankfully the boy simply asked for a signature and stutteringly muttered to "have a nice day." Snape gathered his things and stalked out of the store to where the three aforementioned babies were congregated. It seemed that Potter and Weasley had managed to scrape up enough muggle clothing for at least two other boys. He could only imagine how many Hermione would obtain. He'd heard muggle girls loved to shop, he looked at the clock and saw that it was already 3:00. At this rate they'd surely miss dinner. He strode up to the trio to catch the last bit of an argument.
"Harry don't be so daft! You wouldn't want to wear the same pair of knickers every day would you?"
"No" he answered.
"Bras operate on the same principal!" she hissed at him before walking into a store with a pink and white logo. Who the hell was Victoria Secret?
Harry and Ron exchanged a conspiratory look before trailing their friend. Bloody hell, Severus thought as he realized he'd walked into a women's lingerie shop. The last place he ever expected to be, let alone while supervising three students. Perhaps he'd just stand back by the poorly shaped thing displaying two tiny scraps of fabric.
"Oh, 'Mione, try this little number" Harry said mischievously holding up a medowgold colored underwire."
"Harry James Potter. Don't EVER attempt to pick out my underwear again!" Hermione said, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Yeah, Harry. Red's obviously much more her color," he said before the two fled, daring no more to test Hermione's wrath.
Snape held in a chuckle. That'd teach her to talk to other people about such things. He couldn't help agreeing with Weasly though, red was much more fitting with her. Without saying a word he walked back out to watch the dynamic duo. About 20 minutes later Hermione returned from the Secret shop with two small bags clutched in her hand. Not giving the three males another look she entered a clothing store. Presumably to find clothes to go over whatever she'd just purchased.
Still refusing to speak to either Ron or Harry, Hermione quietly informed Snape that if there was nothing further, they could return to the mansion. He thanked her kindly for her permission and called Xavier. Scott Summers arrived a few minutes later to pick them up. Ron could have sworn he was Percy's long lost twin brother, minus the red hair of course.
**** Hogwarts *****
"Fineted!" Dumbledore cried out and the screen disappeared.
"I would love to ask Severus if he prefers boxers of briefs," Madame Hooch said cheerfully.
"Indeed. Thank you for the entertainment Albus!" professor Flitwick chirped merrily.
"Quite welcome. Now, I'm afraid I must insist we all get some sleep" the cheerful headmaster yawned.
The staff departed and went their separate ways. Dumbledore couldn't resist and conjured up the image of Severus' reaction to underclothing.
"If he retires, could always make that the new entrance to Slytherin" he mused.
The picture faded, and Albus left the staffroom and whistled all the way into his chambers.
****** Xavier's ********
Dinner was relatively uneventful as many of the students were still away on their Summer break. Headmaster Charles Xavier had returned from his visit with Dumbledore and had the four wizards as Jonathan Slytherin, Mia Sensible, Jeffery Redding, and Lee Scarsdale. It was obvious that Dumbledore had influenced the names.
"Jeffery? Who names their child Jeffery?" Ron had complained.
"I see nothing wrong with the name" Hermione said briskly.
"Yes, well you got off with a rather sensible name, didn't you?" Harry quipped.
Hermione rolled her eyes, still slightly annoyed with the boys and headed for the library. The school term was to begin in three days time, and Xavier had gently suggested the wizards spend time adapting themselves to their surroundings and observing the permanent residents of the castle.
Snape had looked sour, as that required him to spend more time in the company of the Gryffindor trio. He had however dutifully complied and had allowed Harry and Hermione to explain how electricity worked and how to use a computer. He found the latter very fascinating indeed. Ron seemed very taken by the big screen television in the den and marveled at the voice controlled locks on some levels of the school. As it turned out, the fifth level under ground was to be theirs for the duration of their stay. Their own chambers had been magically altered to include a hidden passage down into the work area
After the long weekend, the three retired for the night, anxious and ready to greet their new roles as mutants. The students would arrive tomorrow and the masquerade was to begin.
Meanwhile in Hageltonia.................. Evil was still afoot............
**************
School Daze, evil quite afoot, and a few other things........
Hogwartrs School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: 8: 00 PM. Weekly Staff Meeting
Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of the most prestigious wizarding school in all of Europe was not what one could 'typical' in any way. He was good- natured and had a mischievous side that could rival the Weasley twins. It was that characteristic that led him to call a staff meeting in the middle of the week
Professor Flitwick, Madam Poppy, Madam Hooch, Professor Sprout, the ghost of Professor Bins, Professor McGonagal and Hagrid all spilled into the comfortable room curious as to why they were meeting at such a time. The chairs in the room had been arranged into a semi-circle, and a silvery cube had been elevated about a foot off of the ground.
"Ah good you're all here!" Dumbledore said joyfully. "Popcorn?" he offered, his taste for Muggle treats was a great source of amusement to many of the mansion's inhabitants. Flitwick was the only one to take him up on the offer "Now then, if you'll kindly sit down, I've a bit of a surprise for you."
The faculty took their seats in chairs enchanted to accommodate their own personal tastes. "What you are about to see, I trust will not leave this room." He started in a serious tone, before the ever present twinkle in his eye gleamed. "However, the opportunity to watch Severus Snape in the hands of Hermione Granger and Harry Potter, as he shops for clothing is too good to pass up." "Humoriosa" he chanted and the silver cube suddenly came to life with a picture like muggle television, only in 3-D. Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasly and Harry Potter came into view, and the staff sat mesmerized."
Salem Shopping Centre America 2: 00 P.M.
"Remember, Potter, Miss Granger, any attempts to make me look like an imbecile will be severely punished. Discreetness is key here" Severus Snape said in what he hoped was a reproving voice to mask the paranoia he felt.
Harry and Ron fought the urge to laugh uncontrollably. Visions of Snape in golf attire flashed through their heads. Hermione sensed a coming discrepancy and quickly took the decision into her own hands. "Harry, why don't you take Ron into Blue Anchor? Professor Snape and I will be in Eddie Bauer, we'll meet back her in an hour" she said curtly before strolling off to the latter store. The three males stared at her retreating figure before rushing off into opposite directions.
Ron and Harry entered the Blue Anchor. Ron was immediately blown away by the vast array of pants and shorts in front of him. "How do these people live?" he muttered. "What in blazes is khaki?" he wondered aloud.
"It's a particularly hideous shade of tan Ron. Best to avoid it" Harry advised.
"Let's just move over here," he said pointing to a large rack of jeans
"Are you sure we should be picking this out by ourselves?" Ron queried; looking absolutely stunned at the task before them.
"What, would you rather have Hermione pick out everything for you? I've lived in the muggle world for 17 years Ron, I am capable of picking out some jeans and t-shirts I think." Harry stated in an annoyed tone.
Ron looked nonplussed. "Look Ron, everything goes with jeans. Just pick out some jumpers and some t-shirts and you'll be set. Although I suppose we should get something a bit more formal, but this store doesn't seem to cater to that," he said glancing around at the plethora of skateboarding tee's.
Ron sighed in defeat and began picking clothing off of the racks. Harry noticed he wasn't paying any mind whatsoever to the sizes. "Ron, you have to pick clothes according to their size. You have to remember, they're not enchanted to fit the wearer."
"Oh Merlin's balls, Harry! This is impossible."
"Fine, we'll get Hermione then."
The two boys stalked out of the store and ran into Hermione waiting outside the dressing room entrance for Snape. "Hermione, Ron won't listen."Harry whined like a child.
"What, sizeing problems?" she looked critically at Ron for a few seconds, "size 24X28 for trousers, and large-extra large in shirts."
The boys starred. "I worked at a department store between fifth and sixth year." She stated simply.
Harry and Ron scampered off again looking rather sheepish. Severus Snape reappeared a moment later, or rather his voice did. The man in whole refused to leave the dressing room. "Miss Granger, this 'outfit' you've picked out looks absolutely ridiculous."
"Well I won't know that for certain unless you come out here and show it" she began impatiently.
She trailed off as the man reluctantly stepped out of the booth and into view. Hermione had chosen some semi-casual black dress slacks and a blood red button-down shirt. She thought the effect was quite nice. Where had Snape been hiding those broad shoulders and muscular arms all these years? "I don't see a problem" she replied when she was capable of speaking again. Snape chose to snort, in obvious disbelief. He instead choose to bite his tongue and try on the other garments that she had picked out for him. The surealness of the situation hit him hard. Imagine him, Severus Snape relying on a young Gryffindor witch to dress him. He nearly cracked a smile at the very idea; instead he scowled and roughly grabbed his pile of clothes. Hermione was waiting for him outside. "Now all we have left to get you is proper socks, shoes, and um, underwear" she said coloring slightly.
"Underwear? Good heavens girl, whatever for?" he asked too stunned to thrown in his usual vemon.
"Muggle clothing and wizarding are very different sir."
"Everywhere?"
"Yes."
"How the bloody hell would you know?" Snape exploded.
Hermione's face colored a bit. "It just is," she said not meeting his eyes. "The packages are located over there, I expect you can find your own" she finished in a tight voice.
Snape's look at her retreating back was one of pure hatred. He was certainly not going to believe her rubbish about the difference. He longed to take 15 points from Gryffindor for her impudence. At the moment he hated Albus Dumbledore for sending him to babysit three disgusting Gryffindors. He scowled at the clerk at the counter, satisfied to see the look of apprehension on the teen's face as he thrust the credit card at him. He hoped his act would cover up the fact that he really wasn't all that familiar with the process. Thankfully the boy simply asked for a signature and stutteringly muttered to "have a nice day." Snape gathered his things and stalked out of the store to where the three aforementioned babies were congregated. It seemed that Potter and Weasley had managed to scrape up enough muggle clothing for at least two other boys. He could only imagine how many Hermione would obtain. He'd heard muggle girls loved to shop, he looked at the clock and saw that it was already 3:00. At this rate they'd surely miss dinner. He strode up to the trio to catch the last bit of an argument.
"Harry don't be so daft! You wouldn't want to wear the same pair of knickers every day would you?"
"No" he answered.
"Bras operate on the same principal!" she hissed at him before walking into a store with a pink and white logo. Who the hell was Victoria Secret?
Harry and Ron exchanged a conspiratory look before trailing their friend. Bloody hell, Severus thought as he realized he'd walked into a women's lingerie shop. The last place he ever expected to be, let alone while supervising three students. Perhaps he'd just stand back by the poorly shaped thing displaying two tiny scraps of fabric.
"Oh, 'Mione, try this little number" Harry said mischievously holding up a medowgold colored underwire."
"Harry James Potter. Don't EVER attempt to pick out my underwear again!" Hermione said, her eyes flashing dangerously.
"Yeah, Harry. Red's obviously much more her color," he said before the two fled, daring no more to test Hermione's wrath.
Snape held in a chuckle. That'd teach her to talk to other people about such things. He couldn't help agreeing with Weasly though, red was much more fitting with her. Without saying a word he walked back out to watch the dynamic duo. About 20 minutes later Hermione returned from the Secret shop with two small bags clutched in her hand. Not giving the three males another look she entered a clothing store. Presumably to find clothes to go over whatever she'd just purchased.
Still refusing to speak to either Ron or Harry, Hermione quietly informed Snape that if there was nothing further, they could return to the mansion. He thanked her kindly for her permission and called Xavier. Scott Summers arrived a few minutes later to pick them up. Ron could have sworn he was Percy's long lost twin brother, minus the red hair of course.
**** Hogwarts *****
"Fineted!" Dumbledore cried out and the screen disappeared.
"I would love to ask Severus if he prefers boxers of briefs," Madame Hooch said cheerfully.
"Indeed. Thank you for the entertainment Albus!" professor Flitwick chirped merrily.
"Quite welcome. Now, I'm afraid I must insist we all get some sleep" the cheerful headmaster yawned.
The staff departed and went their separate ways. Dumbledore couldn't resist and conjured up the image of Severus' reaction to underclothing.
"If he retires, could always make that the new entrance to Slytherin" he mused.
The picture faded, and Albus left the staffroom and whistled all the way into his chambers.
****** Xavier's ********
Dinner was relatively uneventful as many of the students were still away on their Summer break. Headmaster Charles Xavier had returned from his visit with Dumbledore and had the four wizards as Jonathan Slytherin, Mia Sensible, Jeffery Redding, and Lee Scarsdale. It was obvious that Dumbledore had influenced the names.
"Jeffery? Who names their child Jeffery?" Ron had complained.
"I see nothing wrong with the name" Hermione said briskly.
"Yes, well you got off with a rather sensible name, didn't you?" Harry quipped.
Hermione rolled her eyes, still slightly annoyed with the boys and headed for the library. The school term was to begin in three days time, and Xavier had gently suggested the wizards spend time adapting themselves to their surroundings and observing the permanent residents of the castle.
Snape had looked sour, as that required him to spend more time in the company of the Gryffindor trio. He had however dutifully complied and had allowed Harry and Hermione to explain how electricity worked and how to use a computer. He found the latter very fascinating indeed. Ron seemed very taken by the big screen television in the den and marveled at the voice controlled locks on some levels of the school. As it turned out, the fifth level under ground was to be theirs for the duration of their stay. Their own chambers had been magically altered to include a hidden passage down into the work area
After the long weekend, the three retired for the night, anxious and ready to greet their new roles as mutants. The students would arrive tomorrow and the masquerade was to begin.
Meanwhile in Hageltonia.................. Evil was still afoot............
**************
School Daze, evil quite afoot, and a few other things........