Welcome to Part Three of our Hogwarts Holiday extravaganza!
Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything here. Bow to J.K. Rowling.
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(Clad in winter caroling gear, the entire house of Gryffindor files onstage.)
Lee Jordan (as Cheesy M.C.) :
"And now, to the Tune of that golden holiday favourite: 'Santa Claus is Comin' to Town',
The Hogwarts Carolers proudly present our tribute to their Potion Master,
PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE!"
(Two pairs of hands that look supiciously like Dumbledore and McGonagall's shove a reluctant Sevviekins into a blinding spotlight in front of the carolers. He is dressed in his usual black, but someone has forced a Santa Clause had atop his head. He gives a sideways glare offstage, muttering fiercely)
Snape: What the hell do you want me to do?
Albus: (offstage) /Dance/ to the music, my dear professor
Snape: (stiffly) I do /not/ dance...
Albus: You doubt yourself Severus...TARANTAGELLA!
(As the band starts up the introduction, Professor Snape begins to softshoe wildly about the stage. The crowd cheers, and Sev mutters several four letter words beneath his breath throughout)
GRYFFINDOR CHORUS:
You better not talk,
You'll pray that you'll pass,
There's no room for fun in this Potions class,
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
He's cranky and pissed,
He checks for fault twice,
His students all laugh when asked if he's nice,
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
Detention if you're sleepin',
Ten points when you're awake,
He blatantly hates Gryffindors
So behave for Godric's sake!
So, you'd better watch out,
He's had a bad day,
And he's sure to punish you either way
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
His hair is limp and greasy,
His nose is hooked and curled,
Still fanfic authors will insist,
He's the sex god of the world!
Oh, you'd better look out,
He's checkin' your asile,
You'd better add more armadillo bile,
'Cause old Snapie's comin',
Dear old Snapie's comin',
And old Snape is inclined....to frown!
Snape: (dancing off stage to a multitude of encore screams) THAT'S IT! 100 POINTS FROM EACH OF YOU! TRY HAVING A BLOODY HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS NOW!
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Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything here. Bow to J.K. Rowling.
**************************************************************
(Clad in winter caroling gear, the entire house of Gryffindor files onstage.)
Lee Jordan (as Cheesy M.C.) :
"And now, to the Tune of that golden holiday favourite: 'Santa Claus is Comin' to Town',
The Hogwarts Carolers proudly present our tribute to their Potion Master,
PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE!"
(Two pairs of hands that look supiciously like Dumbledore and McGonagall's shove a reluctant Sevviekins into a blinding spotlight in front of the carolers. He is dressed in his usual black, but someone has forced a Santa Clause had atop his head. He gives a sideways glare offstage, muttering fiercely)
Snape: What the hell do you want me to do?
Albus: (offstage) /Dance/ to the music, my dear professor
Snape: (stiffly) I do /not/ dance...
Albus: You doubt yourself Severus...TARANTAGELLA!
(As the band starts up the introduction, Professor Snape begins to softshoe wildly about the stage. The crowd cheers, and Sev mutters several four letter words beneath his breath throughout)
GRYFFINDOR CHORUS:
You better not talk,
You'll pray that you'll pass,
There's no room for fun in this Potions class,
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
He's cranky and pissed,
He checks for fault twice,
His students all laugh when asked if he's nice,
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
Detention if you're sleepin',
Ten points when you're awake,
He blatantly hates Gryffindors
So behave for Godric's sake!
So, you'd better watch out,
He's had a bad day,
And he's sure to punish you either way
Professor Snape's inclined to frown
His hair is limp and greasy,
His nose is hooked and curled,
Still fanfic authors will insist,
He's the sex god of the world!
Oh, you'd better look out,
He's checkin' your asile,
You'd better add more armadillo bile,
'Cause old Snapie's comin',
Dear old Snapie's comin',
And old Snape is inclined....to frown!
Snape: (dancing off stage to a multitude of encore screams) THAT'S IT! 100 POINTS FROM EACH OF YOU! TRY HAVING A BLOODY HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS NOW!
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