* * * Disclaimer in part one * * *
A/N: The song 'Stranger in A Car' belongs to the beautifully talented Marc Cohn.
Previous parts of this story, and its predecessor 'The Dark Heart' can be found on Fanficiton.Net under 'PearlyJammer'
* * * * * *
There's a stranger in a car
Driving down your street
Acts like he knows who you are
Slaps his hand on the empty seat and says
"Are you gonna get in
or are you gonna stay out?"
Just a stranger in a car
Might be the one they told you about
Trudging out into the barren Canadian winter is not one of the smartest moves I've ever made. I'm not a total idiot. I know there were risks with hitchhiking, I knew there were risks with a limited cash supply, and I knew the weather was a risk. But none of that seemed comparable to the risk with trusting a single person. Trust means closeness and feelings and getting hurt. Who wants that? Would we ever enter into any type of a relationship with another person if we knew they'd tell you to get your mutant ass out of my sight? I somehow doubt it. And that is what I'll hear. I've never been good enough for anybody except David, and look where it got him. He trusted me; I probably killed him, or at least really damaged him.
So trust is a bad, and dangerous thing. It's possible to live without I'm sure. Never let my guard down, constant vigilance, and don't let anybody close to me. Those three standards are what I decided to live by. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to stick by them for too long. I didn't really have a choice in the matter.
There are only so many chances you get in life. It's an 80-20 ratio. Eighty percent of the time things are going to be shitty. The remaining twenty percent are subdivided into not too bad, all right, and opportunity. The latter is the hardest one to recognize and the least likely to occur. I didn't see it at first, but for once, I can see a Canadian storm did someone some good.
I remember the dull roar of an engine slowly crawling up the highway through the howling wind. I strayed as far off the roadway as I could. I knew it was the guy from the bar, something inside me just knew. He pulled his beat up truck off the road and got off the road. I was happy about being taken off the road, but afraid that it was the guy, and he'd want to talk. It would be easy to talk to him, and soon he'd have leverage to use against me. I kept walking. He caught up with me. "Are you gonna get in the truck, or freeze your ass off?"
He walked back to the truck and got in, I hesitated and he started backing up. I had little choice, so I trotted up and opened the door. The heat stung at first, in a pleasant way. That painful tingle when feeling returns to your limbs. I hadn't been truly warm like that in too long. "What's your name kid?"
"Rogue" I answered quickly, giving him the name I'd assigned myself when I struck out on the road.
"What kind of name is that?" he asked it softly, like he was interested. He obviously didn't think it was my real name. It was strange. Most people that are in the business of picking up hitchhikers don't want too know too much. They play the Good Samaritan, but they don't really want to know what you're running from, or why, or if its illegal.
"What's your name then?"
"Logan." He answered straight away. What was he playing at? This guy was working some kind of angle. Then again, maybe it wasn't his real name and he was just messing with my head. I stayed quite, I wasn't sure what to make of him yet.
"I ain't gonna hurtcha kid. I don't care what it is you're running from, I ain't a cop and I ain't a preacher. Your secrets are yours, you can trust me. I been where you're at before."
"I doubt it." I hadn't realized I'd spoken.
"You'd be surprised kid." he said it so softly, damn that voice. It was so full of sincerity; I wanted to tell him it all, the last eight months of my life and why I'd run in the first place.
"It can wait kid, Rogue."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
Well you never were one for cautiousness
You open the door
He gives you a tender kiss
And you can't even hear them no more-
All the voices of choices
Now only one road remains
And strangers in a car
Two hearts
Two souls
Tonight
Two lanes
I'd been with Logan for two days before my defenses started to crumble. He never pushed me to talk, but he'd tell me a little about himself. Like he was trying to reassure me. It irritated and comforted me at the same time. I know he knew I was struggling with something, but true to his word, he never pushed me.
I learned he was a mutant and that he only remembered the last 15 years of his life or so. He had a dog tag with the word 'Wolverine' on it, but he didn't know anything else about who he was, or where he came from. He didn't know if his real name was Logan, but that was what it was now. His name seemed important too him.
"Marie."
"What?"
"My name, its Marie." it took me all day to work up the courage to tell him that. I watched his reaction carefully. Just the slightest curl of his lip let me know he was happy I'd told him about it. It wasn't that he didn't express emotions, I just got the feeling he was subtle about them for a reason. I couldn't say for sure though if he was aware that's what he did. Logan was hard to figure out sometimes. His motivations were never shady, but sometimes it was hard to pinpoint where they came from.
He was a quiet guy a lot of the time. Silence never bothered him, which was fine since that arrangement suited me. But snow is only interesting for so long, and self-introspection only lasts long enough to nearly drive you insane before you have to get your mind on something else. Besides, I knew about this guy, I knew things that could get him in trouble, and I was still a virtual stranger too him. But, going against my own rules, I needed to confide in somebody. I decided to wait until we were near a stop of sorts. I could tell him, and then split. I'd unload my burden and run away, I was getting good at it.
I just needed an opportunity, an opening to start, whilst of course being strategically to my advantage. It would be on my terms, and I'd have several plans worked out according to the reaction I got from him.
You don't know where you're going
You don't know what you're doing
Hell it might be the highway to heaven
And it might be the road to ruin
But this is a song
For strangers in a car
Baby maybe that's all
We really are
"I killed my best friend. I ran away from home eight months ago. I'm a mutant, and you scare the hell out of me." Shit, that all came out much faster than I anticipated. We were still halfway between Williamsberg and Centerville.
"You kept that bottled up for eight months? That's gotta be tough."
I was floored, he didn't sound mad, or negative, or judgmental, or anything. I had to figure out what his angle was. "I nearly killed a trucker in Rapid City."
Silence. "He attacked me."
"He had it coming then."
"But David, didn't"
"It was an accident I'm sure. Nobody that kills on purpose sounds as guilty about it as you do." Logan said mater- of-factly.
"It was only a kiss. But he died. I'm like a poisonous Snow White or something." For some reason that comment sent me into fits of laughter. It felt so good to get all of this out in the open.
"I miss him a lot"
"Tell me what he was like."
I talked about David for nearly an hour. My cheeks were wet from tears I hadn't realized I'd cried, but it felt good. I could let go. I didn't mean to kill David, but he wouldn't want me to beat myself up so much. He hated people to suffer for things they couldn't control. And this guy Logan, he was s puzzle still, but one that wasn't unsolvable. I knew it would take time to work him out, but eventually I'd get there.
I realized I was starting to do what I said I wouldn't. I was letting myself get close to him. The hurt would come sooner or later. I could cherish this session with Logan, but it needed to be the last. You can't live on the road, and trust people. It just doesn't work.
I was lost. I wanted to trust Logan, I really, really did. But it was terrifying. Besides, we really were still strangers. And you know the old saying, never talk to strangers. But is a guy who knows your deepest secret still a stranger? And which is worse, a stranger, or a friend?
Strangers in a car
Driving down your street
Just strangers in a car
Driving down your street
Strangers in a car