Part 2
WARNING: If you haven't seen up to Buffy Season 7 and Angel season 4 (specifically up to "Conversations with Dead People" and "Rain of Fire") then you might not want to read this story just yet…
Author: Immaturelittlegirl
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and all those important people do. I'm just a kid, I own nothing.
Rating: PG-13 (except I used one really bad word in this part, but only once!)
Summary: Buffy goes to Angel hoping to get help for Spike but gets sort of sidetracked during her mission. B/A, a little b/s and a/c too.
Part 2
Buffy sat quietly staring at the file in front of her, unable to actually concentrate on her work. She was supposed to be reading up on a student she had a meeting scheduled with later that day, but she couldn't seem to focus her attention on anything, other than Angel, since her visit to LA a week ago.
Forcing her attention back to the page in front of her, Buffy began reading about Abby Tyler, a senior this year who had recently had a drop in her perfect grades. Principal Wood had asked Buffy to hold a meeting with her and hopefully find out why Abby was falling behind, but Buffy was beginning to wonder if she could honestly offer any guidance to someone when she was feeling rather lost herself.
Closing the file, Buffy tossed it aside figuring that if she was going to learn anything about this girl, it wasn't going to be written in the file. If that were the case, Principal Wood wouldn't have needed Buffy to talk to her. Leaning back in her chair, Buffy decided to just sit back and wait for Abby to arrive before she started her little investigation. More than likely, the girl would open up after a few minutes of coaxing, if she intended to at all.
As Buffy waited, idly strumming her fingers on the desk, her thoughts traveled right back to Angel again. She had gotten over him years ago, or so she thought, but one night together and he was back to the forefront of her mind. She was still unable to understand why she had actually slept with him. She had so easily given in, as if the world ending meant nothing to her. The prospect of being with Angel had been enough for her to throw the world and it's consequences out the window. But hadn't his words rung true in her ears? Every time an apocalypse is averted, another comes along shortly after. And what compensation had she ever been awarded? Nothing. She hadn't even been able to enjoy her death. But then Angel had offered her the easy way out, to just forget responsibility and take what she wanted, and she had accepted this proposal, without even casting a thought to how it would affect humanity. The guilt that she had almost ended the world only a week beforehand was still weighing heavily on her shoulders, as it would for the rest of her life.
Buffy still didn't know why Angel had been so distraught that night, but she could tell that whatever it was must have been very severe, for him to have just given up the way he had. When she had found him he had been desperate and despondent. She had ignored the fact that he wasn't in the right state of mind and slept with him anyway; yet another reason for her to feel ashamed. Buffy knew that if she couldn't find something to occupy her mind soon, she would end up driving herself crazy. At least now she had a vague notion as to why Spike was going insane with guilt.
A moment later, a tiny girl with long black hair approached Buffy's desk. Buffy snapped out of her thoughts immediately, thankful for something to distract herself.
"Abby?" Buffy greeted, gesturing to the seat across her desk, indicating where Abby was to sit.
"Mr. Wood asked me to speak with you," Abby replied shyly, before sitting down on the edge of her seat.
"Yeah, we were just wondering if there was anything bothering you. I'm here to listen if you have anything you want to talk about," Buffy explained, looking to the girl expectantly.
"No, nothing bothering me," Abby answered, shaking her head to emphasize her point.
"Oh. Well, I'm sure you've noticed that your grades have dropped dramatically over the past few months. Is there any reason in particular for that?"
"Nope. I've just been busy lately," Abby answered simply.
"Busy with things more important than school?" Buffy questioned skeptically.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that."
"What kind of things?" Buffy asked hoping for any leads at this point.
"Just things. You wouldn't understand. Things are more complicated than you are aware of," Abby answered cryptically.
"Then would you be so kind as to enlighten me?"
"Like I said, you wouldn't understand," Abby insisted. Losing interest in the conversation she began gazing around the room.
"I might be able to understand. I graduated from SHS just a few years ago; I remember what high school was like. I'm only here to help you, just tell me what's bothering you. Boys? Drugs? Demons?" Buffy began guessing, leaning in closer so that only Abby was able to hear the last thing she said.
"Demons?" Abby repeated, her attention snapping back to Buffy.
"Yeah, I've seen it all. I told you, I graduated from Sunnydale High just a few years ago, too," Buffy reminded her.
"Do you know a lot about demons and stuff?" Abby asked in a hushed tone, leaning in closer as well.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that," Buffy answered, borrowing Abby's line from earlier.
"Do you know anything about witches?" Abby asked meekly.
"I do. Does witchcraft have to do with the reason your grades have been slipping?" Buffy was finally beginning to get somewhere with Abby.
"Well, maybe. I came across this book in the library, I didn't think any of it would really work, but… it did. And I've just sort of gotten hooked on it. It's amazing, I can do things like, make small objects float and, and turn ice into fire! But I need to practice. But why should I learn about calculus when I could be developing a skill that I could actually make some use of?" Abby explained.
"I see, so you've been to busy practicing witchcraft to do your homework? That's not the right way to go about this, Abby. A friend of mine began practicing witchcraft in high school and was still able to maintain her grades. There must be ways you can compromise and do both. But make sure you are careful, magic can be a very tricky thing, don't get yourself in over your head," Buffy advised.
"Okay, thanks," Abby answered standing to leave.
"No problem. Feel free to drop by and talk to me anytime," Buffy offered, standing to escort Abby out of the office.
Principal Wood exited his office a moment later in time to see Buffy saying goodbye to Abby.
"Problem solved already?" Wood asked, when Buffy turned around to head back to her desk.
"Yeah, it should be," Buffy answered distractedly.
"That was quick. You're really good with this guidance thing Buffy. You really connect with the students," Wood complimented Buffy, smiling broadly.
"Just typical teen stuff. At the time all that stuff seemed like the end of the world, mostly because, at the time, it was… but now... I don't know, it just seems like things get more complicated with age," Buffy replied. In high school, Buffy's biggest problem had been the world ending, but now she was dealing with that on top of paying bills, being a parent, and taking care of one vampire who was in love with her, while she was in love with another. But she couldn't be in love with Angel, not anymore, could she? Buffy placed a hand to her head as it began to spin with the terrifying new thought.
"For some people things only get harder as life goes on, but judging from what I have read about your colorful past, I find it hard to believe that your life could be much more complicated now than it was in high school," Wood remarked skeptically.
"You'd be surprised," Buffy stated. Sighing Buffy collapsed into her chair, her thoughts spiraling into the same direction they had been all morning… Angel.
***
Angel sighed as he finally finished cataloguing his books by culture and era again. Taking a step back, he looked around the office, admiring the work he had put into placing the office back together. He had torn the room apart in a fit of rage after seeing Connor and Cordelia in bed together, and then had further destroyed the office during his fight with Buffy. But now, after a week of reorganizing, the room was presentable once again.
Angel sat down at his new desk and began flipping through a case file, knowing that it was time he got back to work. He hadn't worked on a case in over a week, since his "Buffy incident". A moment later, Angel heard the door to the lobby open and footsteps entering.
"Angel?" Wesley called, standing in the center of the lobby.
"Hey," Angel greeted, emerging from the offices. "Heard anything on Gunn's condition yet?" Angel's voice divulged his concern.
"He's recovering steadily, I just returned from the hospital. They think he should be released from the hospital by the end of the week," Wesley informed.
"Good. I've been meaning to thank you for everything you did last week," Angel stated awkwardly, referring to how Wesley, with the help of Lilah and Wolfram and Hart, had averted the apocalypse after Angel had completely given up. If it hadn't been for Wesley, the world would have come to an end.
"No need to thank me. You have helped in preventing many apocalypses, as well," Wesley replied, blushing slightly with pride in saving the world. "And if I hadn't, who would have?" Wesley looked at Angel pointedly.
"Yes, well… Thank you anyway," Angel responded, staring at the floor.
"Cordelia was also at the hospital. She was wondering how you were doing," Wesley remarked, conversationally.
"Oh." Angel looked around uncomfortably. He had been trying desperately to avoid thinking about Cordelia, Connor, or Buffy for the entire day, but it seemed no matter how he tried, eventually his thoughts were drawn back to that night.
"So, how are you doing?" Wesley asked, staring at Angel suspiciously.
"Fine," Angel answered, returning Wesley's suspicious look.
They stood silently glaring at each other for a moment before Wesley finally cut to the chase. "Do you still have your soul?"
"Huh?" Angel asked with surprise.
"Wolfram and Hart, they have eyes on you at all times. Lilah told me a blonde woman spent the night here last week. You haven't been working on any cases, but you haven't been out maiming and killing, they're not sure if you've lost your soul. I don't believe you have, being that I am still alive, but I figured I might as well be sure," Wesley explained, still watching Angel very closely, despite the admission that he believed his soul was still intact.
"Oh," Angel replied leaning back against the counter. "I still have my soul, no need for concern. The reason I haven't been working on any cases is because I've been healing and my entire team is currently out. Gunn's in the hospital, Fred's looking after Gunn, Cordelia is screwing my son, and well, Lorne doesn't much like the combat element of saving lives," Angel answered simply.
"I see. Wait. Cordelia is sleeping with Connor?" Wesley asked, confusion crossing his face.
"Yep," Angel answered, feigning disinterest.
"And this does not bother you?" Wesley was unconvinced.
"What say do I have in the matter?" Angel answered harshly, passing Wesley and collapsing on the sofa in the center of the lobby.
"Hmm… But then who was the blonde?" Wesley questioned, still slightly confused by the situation. He was well aware of Angel's love for Cordelia, and was surprised at Angel's composure, considering the situation.
"Buffy," Angel answered, burying his head in his hands as he recalled the night's events.
"Ahh, and the plot thickens…" Wesley commented, beginning to understand more. "So you and Buffy are… a couple again?" Wesley assumed.
"No, nothing like that! She just stayed the night, one night. There are no feelings between us anymore; at least not feelings of love. I'm in love with Cordelia, or I was… I don't know… But I'm not in love with Buffy anymore, that's over," Angel denied a little too vehemently.
"Of course," Wesley agreed sarcastically. Angel simply glared at Wesley in response. "If you say so…"
"I'm being serious, what Buffy and I had ended long ago," Angel insisted.
"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?" Wesley asked, smirking.
Angel remained silent as he considered the question Wesley had posed. Was he really in denial about his true feelings of love for Buffy? He couldn't really be in love with Buffy still, could he? Everything seemed so jumbled and confusing to him.
Wesley watched as Angel slipped into one of his brooding sessions, no longer aware of Wesley's presence. Quietly slipping away, Wesley left Angel alone with his thoughts of guilt.
***
Buffy climbed the steps of the apartment building slowly, unsure why she had bothered to come at all. She had promised she would visit Spike as soon as she returned from LA, but she had avoided him for over a week, knowing she didn't have any information for Spike that might help or encourage him. She was only here now out of guilt.
Standing in front of the Xander's apartment, Buffy nervously fidgeted to find the spare key she had brought with her. It was mid-afternoon and she knew Xander would be at work and Spike would be sleeping. She supposed that was probably the reason she chose this time to come. Buffy quietly slipped into the apartment and crept over to Spike's closet of a room. His door was cracked open slightly and Buffy widened the gap a bit more so she could look in on him, to be sure he was truly asleep. Spike lay tangled in the sheets, as though he had been tossing and turning earlier, but now he lay completely still, not even breathing.
Careful not to awaken him, Buffy walked farther into the room, watching as he slept with a troubled look spread over his face. By now, Buffy had grown familiar with the look of anguish he had been wearing since he returned to Sunnydale with his soul.
Buffy couldn't help feeling a pang of guilt when she thought of Spike's soul. Logically, she knew that there was no reason for her to feel guilty; it wasn't as though she had been the one to kill all those people, yet still she felt guilty for not being able to love him. If Spike had not been trying to win her affections, he would never have gotten his soul. He had assumed that his not having a soul was the only reason standing between he and Buffy, but that assumption had proven to be costly. Despite Spike's newfound remorse for his actions, Buffy still couldn't find it in her to love Spike, the way he loved her. She almost wished she could love him, to reward his noble act, but the feelings just weren't there.
Quietly continuing farther into Spike's room, Buffy sat on the edge of his bed. The moment she was seated, he began to toss and turn again. Reaching out a hand, Buffy stroked his back lightly, attempting to sooth him. Spike immediately relaxed, and laid still once again.
Buffy sat on the bed and continued to watch him sleep for quite some time before deciding to return another time. Just as she was about to stand, Spike's eyes shot open and with demonic speed he had his fingers wrapped tightly around her neck. His face shifted into his demonic visage and he growled, first looking at her, then focusing on something behind Buffy.
"Spike, let go!" Buffy choked out, while clawing at the fingers slowly suffocating her.
"You fucked him?" Spike asked, turning his attention back to a now blue Buffy.
Buffy's eyes widened, as she realized what Spike was talking about. There was no way he could have possibly known, but at the moment, that was the least of her problems. Letting go of his fingers, Buffy used all her strength to hit Spike in the nose. He quickly let go of her, snapping out of his strange trance.
"Buffy?" Spike asked, suddenly looking very confused.
"Spike, what the hell is wrong with you?" Buffy shouted, jumping off the bed and pulling out her stake.
"I don't know," Spike answered, honestly. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"
"Fine. I was just going," Buffy replied, turning on her heal and hurrying out of his room.
"Wait!" Spike yelled, clutching the sheet around his waist and hurrying after her. He made it into the living room in time to see Buffy slam the door behind her. "I'm sorry!" Spike screamed, hoping she could hear him.
***
AN: Okay, I know this chapter sucked too. I have an idea of where I'm going with the story now though, so there should be more B/A-ness still to come. Please review, and tell me if you think I should continue the story.