Lina was mad.

Angry. Frustrated. Annoyed.

Oh, it wasn't like she had never felt a little on the violent side before, but this was different … like she was a glass chalice filled with liquid fire, burning and burning until something would just have to give.

It did.



"Amelia, will you just SHUT UP?!"

Amelia paused in the middle of a lengthy speech on the injustice of non-vegetarianism.

"What?"

"I said, will you just shut up?! Who cares if Gourry eats 400lbs of meat of a day? You eat meat too!"

"But Lina-san, I--"

"I swear, if you don't be quiet and give us a break from your stupid whiny little voice right this instant, I'm gonna cram those words up your ass and make you eat them through a wire."

Amelia's eyes grew wide with tears. "Lina-san! How could you say such a thing?! I swear, sometimes you can be downright … rude! Don't you ever have any consideration for other people's feelings? And another thing…"

Lina's mouth set into a hard line. She really should wait until Amelia was done her stupid rant; it would probably only further the plot to hold in all that annoyance and let it splurt out in one huge fit of anger. But on the other hand … well, she never had been one to play by the rules.

And besides, she really wasn't sure if it was possible to feel the desire to kill anymore than she did now. Lina sighed to herself, then held up her hand for silence.

"--And that poor man, I swear, if you hadn't g -- yes?"

"Well, you can't say that I didn't warn you…"

"What do you--"

Picking a butter knife up off of the table, Lina grasped it tightly in her gloved fist … and promptly shoved it into Amelia's chest. Amelia gasped and choked as her punctured lung began to fill with blood.

Hmmm… thought Lina, by the looks of it that knife wound only damaged the external area of the organ … she might still live if she uses a healing spell.

Lina looked around for something else she could use. Ah, there … a fork.

Lina snatched up the fork, which was likely of the same set as the knife she'd used, and easily stabbed it into the side of Amelia's chest that hadn't been pierced yet. She then rotated the utensils so that each was facing away from the other … and she began to pull them apart.

Amelia's ribcage swung outwards and her flesh tore, unable to withstand the pressure of Lina's extremely determined muscles, tempered by several years worth of tearing open those wonderful little 'easy-to-open' packages that she was so fond of buying. Blood soaked Lina's front and quickly began to clot as the warm red liquid hit the strict contrast of the cool night's air.

Lina dropped Amelia's body to the ground, licking some blood off the corner of her mouth. It had a most interesting flavour, yet somehow not an unpleasant one. It was really more of an acquired taste, and she had drunk of it many times during the years when splitting open an enemy with her sword, or accidentally biting through her lip in a fit of nervousness or surprise. But she had never really tasted it before … certainly not like this.

She turned to look at the others in her little group, faces ashen with a rather amusing combination of shock and horror.

"Dear god…" Zelgadis whispered softly. His stone skin would be hard to crack; she decided to save him for last.

She knew that that wouldn't be long.

Ripping out Amelia's cold still heart, she dispassionately stuffed it down Gourry's throat. Unable dislodge it or even cough properly, he began to choke and turn an interesting shade of blue. The colour suited him, she decided. What a pity it wouldn't last long.

She unsheathed her dagger and inserted it, too, into his mouth, holding his jaw open by bending his leg up until it snapped and then stuffing his foot in between his teeth. She then speared the heart with her dagger and used it to push the heart even farther into the man's nearly lifeless carcass. Then she cut his eyes out.

Gourry died.

Well, what do you know… she thought, peering into the blond's empty eyesockets. He really did have a brain, after all.

And now, for the challenge … she turned back towards Zel, who was shaking and obviously in shock. What a pity … had he still been capable of thought, they would have had a good fight.

Oh well … plenty of time for fighting later.

But how to crack that tough skin of his? …Ah, of course. She reached back to the side of the corpse right behind her and picked up Gourry's sword of light. She decided to give Zel an easy death … she had really liked him, even if he did get on her nerves once and a while.

"Light come forth!"

She smoothly split the chimera straight down the middle. A tiny chunk of him broke off and bounced onto the lifeless eye of his friend and long-time admirer, Amelia. Awww … how sweet. Lina smiled; she just loved happy endings.

She then turned to the man sitting by himself at a small table near the corner of the room.

"See, I told you. All three of them in under five minutes."

Xellos took a sip of his pleasantly flavoured herbal tea. "Very impressive, Lina-chan. I really didn't think you would do it."

"Well, you should learn not to underestimate Lina Inverse. So are you ready to hold up your end of the agreement?"

Xellos sighed. "Very well." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the only known copy of Cheese Souffle, the gourmet cooking book published by Realle Gavrol … rumored to be one of the greatest chefs that the world had ever known. Sadly, he had been eaten by a group of cannibals in the eastern rain forest when he'd insulted their cooking nearly some 400 years ago. This was his legacy … and now she had it! Lina laughed uncontrollably, unable to contain her triumph that the secrets of substitute dragon cuisine would now be hers!

"So what should we do with them?" Inquired Xellos, gesturing towards the remaining group of people in the restaurant, cowering together in a corner of the room.

"Put this is subspace for me, will ya?" She handed the book back to him and it disappeared.

Lina cracked her knuckles. "Now just leave them to me…"



Lina bounced down the road in dance of glee, skin red from scrubbing off blood and ash.

"I feel a lot better now!"

"I'm glad to hear it!" Replied Xellos. "Then you think that you'll be so inclined as to do something like that little display back there again sometime?"

"Of course!"

"Excellent! …I must say, the sheer cold-heartedness of what you did before was something that could rival the deeds of the Dark Lords themselves."

Lina blushed. "You flatter me…"

"Oh no, Lina-chan! I mean it … you would make a really great mazoku!"

"Oh no, we're not starting that again!" She spit back, brandishing the still-bloody fork.

"Just a suggestion…" he replied meekly.

"Come on! I want to get to the next town by tomorrow night … Filia lives there, and I hear she's opened up a simply delightful little pottery shop!"

Their evil grins each mirrored exactly that of their counterpart. Oh yes, this would be fun.

At the side of the road a small bird alighted on the branch of a tree, cheerfully twittering away as it praised the simply beautiful day. The sun was bright and the trees were green.

All was well.