Disclaimer, Summary, ect: See chap 1.
Author's Notes 1, Tigerwolf: Adding an extra disclaimer here. The tests in this chap are real. They can be found on www.emode.com. Which is a fun place to mess around. They do not belong to us, and some questions have been omitted for time constraints. Thank you.
After a night of movies and only slightly strained silence here and there, Buffy had fallen asleep on Giles' couch in his room. Spike had been hugging HIS arm of the couch, and SHE had been hugging hers.
When she stirred slowly, the first thing she noticed was that she was no longer vertical. In fact, she was horizontal. And her pillow was kinda hard. And denim. And Spike's lap.
The vampire, for his part, was unaware of the Slayer's presence, since he was still *mostly* asleep. Breathing, but very deeply.
The sleepy feeling evaporated. She was laying on Spike's lap. Lap of Spike was she laying on. Maybe if she was very very still and slow, he wouldn't wake up. Shit shit shit. Ok... Ok... Sleeping on Spike once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence, but what the hell is three times?? Three times is... umm... well, something that she would figure out at a later date.
Spike shifted a little, his hand slipped from the back of the couch and draped over Buffy's hip. Crap. Now what?
She started to slide her hips forward slowly, hoping to lower her feet to the ground, then swing off the couch in a crouch.
The thing that was keeping Spike warm was moving. This could not be allowed. The hand on her hip slipped a couple of fingers into her pocket and latched on.
Her eyes closed in dismay. Why her? Why not someone else??
Spike shifted again, opening one eye to figure out what was making that heartbeat noise so close to him. Glanced around. Oh. Buffy... Close eye. Wait a minute. Buffy!? Snapped both eyes open. Glanced at the Slayer in his lap. Just stared. Didn't move. 'Oh god, she's gonna kill me.'
She decided to check his face, make sure he was still asleep. Turned her head slowly.
Snap eyes closed. Very quickly. Warp speed. So fast, it almost hurt. Too little too late. Still. Hope. Just don't move. Don't breathe. Don't. Do. Anything.
Every muscle in her body tense, she sat up slowly to her corner of the couch, pretending to not have met a snapping closed sea of blue to her green eyes.
He allowed his hand to just drop to the couch, then, when it was relatively safe, opened eyes again. Exaggerated a yawn. "Oh. Mornin', Buffy."
Looked sleepily from where she had been cozily 'sleeping' in a tight ball. Yawn. "Morning."
Mental 'whoosh' of relief. Ok. Both of them could play this game. That was good. Spike yawned again. "I'm gonna head back to my room. Take a shower. You know the number if you need me for anything."
She nodded. "Yeah. Sure."
He got up and stretched luxuriously, closing his eyes and using the arm of the couch to lean on as he stretched the muscles of his sides and back.
And Buffy's mouth watered.
Spike finished the stretch slowly, ending in a fang-showing yawn. Eyes opened as he regained upright stature. Hands on his hips, one last stretch for his stomach muscles, leaning backwards. Eyes closed again. This was a morning ritual.
Buffy's mouth moved, thanking heaven the pitiful moan that would have fallen out was silent.
Finally, having completed his morning stretch, Spike headed for the door, shaking his head slightly to clear out the last of the morning cobwebs.
Her eyes traveled down his back to watch that nummy thing attached to the bottom of his hips. Stretched out on the couch like it was nothing to her.
He opened the door, turned to give her a half wave, then went out and shut the door behind him, only to slump on the wall next to the door. Whew. That could have been a lot worse.
Inside the room, Buffy buried her face in her hands. Could that have been worse??
========================================================================== ==========
Spike had been in his room for about twenty minutes, when someone knocked.
Madison rapped her fist against the door again. "Spike?"
He hopped up quickly and answered the door. "Hey! What's up?"
She shoved a pint container at him, complete with plastic spoon, keeping the other one in her arms. "Need adult company, and icecream, desperately."
He accepted the container with a chuckle. "Your room or mine?"
"Mine. I bought a movie off Pay-Per-View, too."
"Okay." He followed her into her room. "What movie?"
"Someone Like You." She jumped on the bed and laid on her stomach. "I am never EVER having kids."
Another chuckle as he sat on the side of the bed next to her. "Two questions. One, why not? And two, what's the movie about?"
"My uncle's three kids are juvenile, and horridly mannered, and... dirty, and just... ugh. I don't want to think that I have genes like that waiting to be passed on. And it's about this girl who thinks shes in love with this guy, who seems like a great guy, but he's a dog, and the REAL guy that loves her is the not so perfect guy."
Spike chuckled. "That's a little too close to reality, but I'll watch it." Gave her a grin. "Are all three boys? The kids?"
"Yes." Shoveled in a bite of white chocolate icecream. "Mongrels."
"Ah. Then it's simple. Just have girls."
She grinned at him. "Yeah. I'll just be sure to have girls. Because that's all there is to it."
He laughed. "That's all there is. I read somewhere that there's a way to do that, too. I just can't remember what it was."
She gave him a grin. "If you remember it, let me know."
He chuckled and laid over on his back, parallel to her. "I'll be sure to. But girls aren't easy, either. Especially when they're teenagers."
She grinned. "We are if you know how to handle us."
"You are no longer a teenager, missy."
Triumphant grin. "I know. It's too cool."
He laughed. "You are like a fifth of my age right now."
She stuck her tongue out at him, then spooned up some of his icecream. "You're an old fart."
He growled at her. "Am not. Physically, I'm twenty four."
She cocked her head at him, stole another bite. "Yeah, but you're like... older than dirt mentally."
"One hundred and forty six since I was born, or one hundred and twenty two since I was sired. Dirt is quite older than me."
She ate a bite of her own ice cream. "Whatever. I'm twenty. I'm like... a baby to you."
"Fledgling," he chuckled, mimicking her movement and taking a bite of her ice cream.
She pouted, but didn't smack him with her spoon. "So... How's Dawn?"
"She's great. A little miffed about her foot, though." He chuckled. "But she let me go without too much grief last night. I checked out the pool."
"Yeah? You like?"
He laughed. "You could say that. Buffy was down there. She pushed me in. Soaked my clothes!"
Madison laughed. "How'd she do that?"
He took a bite of ice cream. "I'd rather not say. Lets just say she got close to me, and I didn't move, and she pushed me in and then laughed at me." Licked at the spoon.
She rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to be this... dangerous, cunning creature. How'd she get close enough to shove you in?"
He closed his eyes, embarrassed. "One word. Bikini."
Madison smirked. "One guess? Wet bikini?"
Sheepish nod.
She laughed. "I've got to give her props. She apparently knows how to use what she's given."
Pained moan. Held the cold ice cream to his forehead as if he had a fever.
Smiled at him. "So! Do you know what you're going to do with her?"
"Probably kill myself and put me out of her misery. I swear... If I wake up with her on top of me one more time-"
"Excuse me? You said you two never fu-"
"No!", he yelped. "We.. we haven't.. it was innocent. Really." Took a bite of ice cream again.
"Waking up on top of someone is RARELY innocent, unless one of the people is a corpse. And even then it's REALLY shaky."
He gave a chuckle. "I am a corpse."
"Unanimated corpse."
"Ok. You really want to know what happened?"
Thumped her plastic spoon on his forehead and stole a bite of his. "Duh."
He sighed. "Alright. When we spend the night in the Ohana, we have to line up the cots in the main area, all pressed together so that they can fit. Mine is the one closest to the bedroom door. Buffy's is the one behind me. Twice now, I've woken up with her snuggled up against my back with an arm or leg draped over me."
She gave him a sly smile. "Well well."
He snorted at her. "Yeah. And then she pulls away like I'm made out of molten lava when she wakes up."
Soft frown. "I wonder why?"
"Cause she... Well, she doesn't hate me. She's said as much. We're even.. friends. Kind of." Sigh. "I just don't know what to think anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because.. She acts.. nice to me one minute, and then like I'm a dead rat that she's just found under a sink the next."
And THERE she went to the bad visual place. "Give me an example."
Took a deep breath. "It's like what happened after we kissed the other night. Then she ignored me until last night."
Madison frowned. "What happened that night? I mean.. why'd she kiss you?"
"I don't know. We were dancing.. really close... and then she had me backed up against a post, and was rubbing against me in a way that I could *not* ignore, and then she kissed me."
"Dancing close, how? Like... wow, it's crowded in here, or, wow, I can feel all your 2000 parts?"
"The second one." He rolled his shirt up slightly and sat the ice cream container on his stomach. "I need to cool down just remembering it."
She grinned. "And then what?"
"I told you. She pinned me to a post, rubbed on me like I was made out of catnip and she was a tabby, and then kissed me."
Stupid, lucky bitch. "Cousin kiss, or... almost tore off her clothes kiss?"
"Once again. The second one." His eyes closed, and he set the container of ice cream a little lower. Gotta cool down, here.
"How'd she act after that?"
Snort, and minor eye flash. "Totally blew me off. Barely said two words to me till last night."
"How did she look at you?"
"I wasn't paying attention. She ignored me, so I ignored her back. I did catch her staring at me a couple of times." He snorted again. "Probably wondering what she had been on that night."
She sat up. "How did she look when she was looking at you?"
"I don't know. We both looked away really fast. No time to gauge it." He thought for a moment. "But I think she was looking at my stomach or something first. Then moved up. I can't be sure. She may have been looking at her magazine."
Madison took in the hint of abs showing where he had rolled up his shirt. "There's no magazine more interesting than those."
He moved the ice cream, glanced down. "What's so interesting about my stomach?"
"She wasn't looking at your stomach. The muscles on your stomach, yes. You know you have a great body. I bet you have to work a little bit to keep it that way."
He chuckled. "Naw. Not really. Part of the vamp package is not having to work out. Just as long as I don't eat... like.. a busload of nuns, I won't gain a pound. I lose easily, though. Vamps can be weak if they go without feeding for a couple of days."
She nodded. "Jerk."
He cocked his head. "Huh?"
"Don't have to work out and you lose weight easily. That's sick and unfair."
He laughed. "Sorry. I'm dead. That's the downside. And I don't have much of a sense of taste. All other senses are greatly heightened, though."
She nodded. "Ok, back to stupid girl."
He gave a short growl. "She's not stupid, Madison."
"She can't see what's in front of her face, and he's good, and funny, and gorgeous. If that's not stupid, I don't know what is. When she touched you, after the kiss, what's it like?"
"Well, last night, we stayed in her Watcher's room, and watched TV on the couch. She messed with me a bit. I think she was starting to calm down again."
"Like how?"
"How what?"
"Did she maybe touch you, and it was soft, but then she kinda pulled back again? Or something like that?"
"A couple of times. And she whacked me, and threw a pillow at me. And shoved me off the couch. But that was just playing."
Madison was intrigued now. "Back up. I want everything when she touched you. Eyes, mouth, voice, body, fingers, everything."
He closed his eyes, concentrated. "Ok.. Uh.. Well. We were watching Sleepless In Seattle, and she was kind of dozing off, I guess. She almost tipped over on my shoulder, but caught herself, and just put a hand on my shoulder to apologize. Her heartbeat sped up and her bloodpressure jumped for a moment, then she pulled back. The second time, she thought I was asleep. She just kind of.. reached out and ran her hand down my stomach, and around to my side. I kept my eyes closed, but it did feel good."
A slow smile spread over the girl's face. "She's trying to stay away from you."
His eyes opened, and he looked at her. "Why? Why can't she just tell me what she wants?" He sighed. "And I thought Dru was hard to understand."
"You're... a temptation to her. One that has to be resisted staunchly. After all, how long has it been hammered in her poor head that it IS wrong?"
"Ever since before Peaches went evil on her."
"Peach-? Angel?"
Snort. "Yeah."
"Right. So, anyway. Forever. And you show up, being the contradiction, and all sexy, and she DOES give in for a minute, she's got to be confused. So, if she doesn't give in again, it isn't so hard to deal with."
He shook his head. "I tried to deny it when I first fell for her. Then I was so scared to tell her, scared that I'd say something wrong.. I'm not good at that sort of thing.. That I practiced on a mannequin, and still wound up getting angry at it." Madison was giggling now. "Ok. What's so funny?"
Another giggle. "A mannequin?"
"Yeah. Well. Desperate times. You know." He rolled with his back to her and set his ice cream on the floor. "I should *not* have told you that."
Big grin. "Probably not. So. How are you gonna make her cave?"
"What can I do? If I push her, she'll just get mad at me again."
"Break her."
He rolled back over, so he was on his back again. "And just *how* do you propose I do that? At least she's speaking to me now. It can only get better. Right?"
"Right. What about like..." She brushed two fingers down his arm. "A touch here, a look there, conveniently corner her body, brush yours against hers, let her want you, and then walk away."
Slightly evil grin. "She'd kill me if she realized that I was doing it on purpose."
"But you'll be so slick, she'll never know till you've already boinked her and called her your own."
He laughed. "You're really thinking ahead, aren't you?"
She smiled. "I'm a plotter. So! Eventually, she'll come begging to you."
Snort. "Uh-huh. That'll be the day pigs fly. The Slayer doesn't beg. Just like I don't. I've never begged once in my life. Not even while being tortured. Which has happened several times."
She simply arched a brow. "Don't give her what she thinks she needs for a long time. Just out of reach, but in sight."
"You scheming vixen, you."
"Why, thank you!"
He laughed, scratching at an itch on his stomach absently. "I'd hate to think what's going to happen when some lucky guy falls for you. You'll have him wrapped, tied, and chained to your little finger."
She grinned. "Basically. But it's no fun if you can whip 'em. I want the man I can't whip."
"Oh? Example?"
She shrugged. "Guys who come running when you snap your fingers are fun, but boring."
He chuckled. "I'm boring, then. I like being a puppy. Always have been. In private, anyway. Guard dog in public."
She shook her head. "No you aren't. I mean, not entirely. You like the fight, the challenge, the fire."
He grinned at her. "See? That's the guard dog. Would you believe me if I told you that one of my fantasies is for Buffy to just hold me? Tell me that she loves me. That's one of my favorite dreams."
Madison smiled. "Go ahead. Tell me that the other one isn't you shaking it out of her, with a few hard kisses along the way? A couple scrapes and bruises?"
Grinned. Nodded a little. "Yeah. Well... That's in there, too. Depends on my mood as to which one."
Knowing smile. "Yup."
He laughed. "You know, all we ever do is talk about me. What about you? Hopes, dreams, aspirations?"
"I wanna be a psychologist."
Chuckled. "It shows. You're well on your way. Should I be paying for our little talks?"
Small smile. "Nope. Free sessions until a degree is obtained. I like analyzing people, see what makes them tick, what makes them break, trying to get in someone's head to understand them better."
"Well, Dr. Madison, what do you understand about me?"
Quietly, "That you love the unworthy, but consider yourself to be the one unworthy."
He looked at her. "I have a reason. History is hard to forget. When things make an impression, good or bad, it sticks with you, no matter how long you live."
She unknowingly hit on it. "You're not.. beneath her, or anyone. As far as I'm concerned, you're better than her."
He stayed silent, wondering if she'd noticed the rapid blinks and tensing of his body at those words. Those words that had been burned into his memory with the branding iron that is a broken heart.
She had. She rolled on her side, pillowed her head on his shoulder. "You're not beneath anyone."
He didn't relax, but his head cocked sideways, rested his cheek on her head. Then, so quietly that it was little more than an exhale, "Thank you.."
"I'll say it, over and over, until, good or bad, it's impossible to forget. I *know* that you are not beneath anyone."
Very slowly, he started to relax, blinking rapidly again. "Where were you in 1880? You could have kept me from being turned."
She gave a small smile. "I think my great great great grandmother was being thought of. And I'm glad I wasn't. I think Dawn needs you, and Buffy will, too."
"Yeah..." He chuckled quietly, ruefully. "That's what did it, you know. She told me that... I ran out. Wrong place. Very wrong time. Woke up terrified and nailed in a box."
She put an arm over his chest in a protective hug. Felt his muscles relax even further. He sighed. "Take it from me. If you ever are in a coffin, make sure that someone tries to stake you before your funeral. Put it in a will, or something. There is nothing more terrifying that waking up underground, in the dark, in a box, and having to claw through the top and dig up through six feet of dirt."
It horrified her. "But- that's-"
"Terrible? Yeah. But that's the way all vamps start out. Then, once you're out, all you can think about is food for about three days. After that, it gets better."
"Better?"
"You start to feel strong. And it stops feeling wrong to feed, mostly. It helps if you have a pack to take care of you. I was lucky. I had Dru and Angelus. Although he got sick of me after I refused to kill my family."
"I'm glad you did."
"Yeah. I just couldn't do it. Angelus said that it was a tradition, and that I would be the only one in the order not to do it. But I just couldn't."
"I'm sure your family appreciated it."
His voice sounded sad now. "They didn't even know. I kept the others away from them. But I went back a couple of times. Saw my mom and sister crying over me. I wanted nothing more than to show myself. Talk to them. Tell them that I was really alright. But if I had, Angelus would have killed them and left their heads in my bed as punishment for being sentimental."
Hugged him again. She felt as horrible as when Will broke his leg trying to make her a present.
He sighed. "No point in feeling bad over things you can't change, though." He made no move to dislodge her from him, however. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be telling you all this. I'm not a very good friend, am I?"
She frowned. "Of course you are. I wouldn't be a good friend if you couldn't tell me."
He gave a half sniff. It almost wasn't there. "Thanks. For everything, Madison."
She shrugged. "Anytime."
Deep sigh. "Can I ask you to do something?"
"Sure."
"Cheer me up. I'm totally depressed now."
"Dawn's socks are spotless."
Sigh. "Good. She'd be upset if there was a bloodstain on it."
"Mmm... There's a Moonlighting marathon on TV."
"Nope. Thanks, though. I seem to have given you an impossible assignment."
"Mmmm... Let's go swimming."
"No. Now the pool makes me think of Buffy, and that makes it worse."
"Let's order pizza to the wrong door! Come on. We can prank call every room here."
He rolled over with his back to her. "Sorry. Not really in a playful mood." Small grin that was gone too fast for her to see it. Thankfully, he was turned the wrong way.
She narrowed her eyes. Then brightened. "Ooh! We can knock on the doors, then throw ice at the people who open the door! Just toss the whole bucketful at them!"
"Infantile behavior." Another, very well hidden grin. "It would get us kicked out of the hotel."
She snorted. "Not with the money MY parents shoved into this place. Moon the cameras."
"You can not be serious. You're just trying to make me laugh. I don't feel like it."
She stood. "I am so serious."
He rolled onto his stomach, and pillowed his head on his arms, face down. There. Now she couldn't see if she got him. "Then go and get your butt cold. I'll wait here."
She grinned. "Okay. Here I go." She walked out the door, and less than two minutes later came running back in the room. "PRICELESS!" She leaned against the door, laughing. "I mooned the whole elevator. The doors opened, and the looks on their faces..." She cracked up again. "Then, ya know, I ran, but... it was still funny."
He was still on the bed. Same position, but... Oh how hard it was with *that* mental image to keep his 'I'm depressed' act going. "Quite an accomplishment. I'm proud of you." Said to the comforter.
"Come ONNNN!!! You suck! That was the best, and quite frankly, you're boring me."
"I do suck. I'm a vampire. It's what we do. Sorry if I'm boring. I'm taking a nap, now."
She sat on the bed, and put her feet in his face. "Paint my toenails."
He hid a grin. "What? Now you've got to be kidding."
Wiggled them. "Do it."
"And what if I don't want to?" He rolled over, regarding her upside down. "What would you do then?"
"You're a puppy. Remember? So paint my toenails."
"So I'm a puppy. What does that have to do with anything? *You* do not hold my leash. Well, not the main one, anyway."
She just gaped at him. "I can't believe you said that." Tucked her feet under her. "Fine."
He gave her a half grin. "Sorry. I didn't mean it."
Pouted.
He bit his lip. "You really want me to paint your toenails?"
Nodded hmph.
He sighed. "And then what?"
"We eat pizza, and then YOU moon an elevator."
"I am *not* doing that! It's bleedin' embarrassing! Taking the 'bare ass' part of the word literally!"
She laughed. "Ooook. We can eat pizza, and then order another one."
"Eat two pizzas? I may have two stomachs, but only one of them can handle human food."
Her eyes lit up. "Wanna go dancing?"
"How about a compromise? We stay here, and... Hang on a second. I saw something under the bed earlier."
"What's under the bed?"
He ducked over, pulled out a magazine. "It's an old magazine." He read the cover. "Seventeen, the test issue. Find out everything you've ever wanted to know about yourself."
She laughed. "How cool!"
He let out a laugh. "Who's Your Monster Match? That's the first test." He grinned at her. "I know mine. Wanna find out what kind of monster you are?"
"Yes."
"Ok. First question: If you were left alone at night in an old house, which sound would scare you most?
A: Creaking stairs.
B: The distant sound of whispering.
C: Loud banging in the attic.
D: The howling of an unidentifiable man-beast. Pick one."
"Banging in the attic."
He chuckled. "Ok. Next question.
What kind of Halloween costumes do you like to wear?
A: The funnier the better. My costume should crack people up
B: Tight, revealing costumes. What better excuse to show off my bod
C: Scary or gross, it's all about the shock value.
D: I don't really like dressing up."
"Tight, revealing costumes. It's so fun."
Chuckled again. "Question 3: Who's better looking?
A: The bride of Frankenstein
B: The witches of Eastwick
C: Count Dracula
D: Teen Wolf?" Laughed."Is this really a question?"
"Count Dracula."
He snorted at her, but marked on the page. "Halloween candy. Do you:
A: Hoard it
B: Share it."
She snorted back at him. "Hoard."
He laughed. "Of course." Turned back to the test. "You're invited to a Halloween party. Do you show up:
A: In my regular clothes
B: In a wig, I've got some spirit
C: In face paint
D: In the costume that wins first prize
E: Show up? I'm throwing the party!"
"I'm throwing."
"That does not surprise me at all," the vampire said with a laugh. "Ok. When Monster Mash comes on the radio are you:
A: Break dancing
B: Doing the twist
C: Waltzing
D: Salsa dancing."
She smiled, tossed her pitch black hair. "I salsa," she said, mimicking her mother's accent.
He laughed again. "I could have guessed." Looked back at the magazine. "Are you usually:
A: Playing tricks on friends
B: Having tricks played on you by friends." Cocked his head at her. "I think I know what you're going to say."
She grinned. "You'd be right. I play tricks."
He laughed, and then couldn't stop when he read the next question. Finally, he choked out, "All expenses paid vacation. Where do you go?
A: Transylvania
B: Egypt. I just can't get enough of those pyramids
C: Any place that's too hot for most people
D: European castles. There's just something about those drafty chambers
E: London, I've got a great coat to beat the rain..." Started laughing again. Composed himself. "Sorry. That was it."
She grinned at him. "European castles."
He grinned back. "Listen to the next one. How do you like your steak prepared?
A: Rare. Still kicking, if possible
B: Medium with a touch of color
C: Well-done, charred, blackened, just cook the thing
D: I don't eat meat."
"Medium."
He marked the page, then smiled at her. "I can answer the next one for you. But I'll read it anyway. Are your hands usually:
A: Graceful and smooth
B: A little on the hairy side
C: A little rough, but my long nails make up for it
D: Covered in Band-Aids."
She glanced at hers. "Graceful and smooth? Tell me that's what you were thinking."
He nodded. "Too bad they don't have 'elegant' in there as well."
Slight blush.
He grinned. "And we move on. What was the worst item to get in your trick- or-treat bag?
A: Fruit. Thanks, but no thanks
B: Pennies. Those people should just leave their porch lights off
C: Toothbrush and floss
D: Those awful popcorn balls."
"Pennies!! What's up with that?? My friends and I saved them and pegged their houses."
He laughed. "Which of the following best describes your sleeping habits?
A: Door open and nightlight on, please
B: I need total darkness to fall asleep
C: I feel safer sleeping in an enclosed space
D: I roll around a lot. I need my space."
"Mmm... total darkness. But nightlight lately."
"My fault, I'm guessing."
"Harvester demons could get me."
He chuckled. "They're harmless. And nice. Let's move on. Which of the following breakfast cereals would you eat?
A: Fruity Yummy Mummy
B: Frankenberry
C: Count Chocula
D: Boo Berry."
"Umm... They all sound kinda fruity, and I like Cap'n Crunch. so.. I'd have to say, Boo Berry."
He chuckled. "If you'd said 'Count Chocula', I was gonna bite you."
She made a face. "Tshaw. What's wrong with him? I mean, he's not really real, and- He's real, isn't he?"
He laughed. "No.. He's not. If he were, he'd be biting Reese's cups. Which is fun, by the way."
She laughed. "I wanna be able to do that!"
He chuckled. "Human version. Poke Reese's cup with an icepick, then suck. Works just as well. I taught Dawn to do it like that."
Pout. "I wanna have super teefers." She made sucking noises. Stopped when she realized he was looking at her.
He shook his head then laughed. "Ok, Ms. Budding Vampiress. Ready for the last question?"
Winced with a smile, then nodded.
He read, "You're going to a costume party in three hours but you don't have a costume yet. You:
A: Wear last year's costume
B: Buy one of those $4.95 plastic bib-and-mask specials
C: Just add fake blood
D: Use every one of those three hours to put together the best costume you've ever seen."
"Use the three hours."
He marked the page. "Ok. Hang on while I tally the points."
She nodded, hummed the Jeopardy theme.
He laughed. "Ok. I'm gonna read this for you. Madison, there's a GHOST lurking inside of you. You're a fun loving prankster, always with a joke up your sleeve. That's why your monster match is a ghost. Your bag has more tricks than treats, but you can take it as well as you can dish it out. That's what it says."
She grinned. "That's me!"
He chuckled. "Then we did it right. Want me to see what other kind of tests there are? They're in categories. Relationships. Personality. Identity. Which category?"
"Relationships. Lets see if we can get me out of this slump."
"Ok." He flipped the pages. "There are three internal categories. Matchmakers. In love. Looking For Love."
"Ugn. You pick."
He laughed. "How about this one, What's Your Romantic Fantasy?"
She let out a laughing sigh. "Sure. Why not?"
He chuckled, then nearly backed out of it when he read the first question. Swallowed, then continued. "What type of poetry would you recite to your sweetie?
A: That's easy. A sonnet, the poem of love
B: A rock ballad in the key of G
C: A limerick like the ones that goes, "There once was a man from Nantucket..."
D: I don't do poetry." Winced at the last one.
She smiled. "Sonnet."
He sighed, muttered an almost inaudible, 'thank you,' to no one in particular. " Would you and your significant other ever wear matching "his" and "hers" outfits?
A: That's so cute! It's the perfect way to demonstrate our matching love for each other
B: Matching, no. But it's cool when our looks compliment one another
C: You'd never see us matching on purpose, unless it was for a costume party
D: I'd sooner throw myself down a flight of stairs than dress like my sweetie, bless his heart." He chuckled.
"That last one. With the stairs and tossing."
He chuckled. "You and me both." Cleared his throat. "I don't know if I want to know this one.. But.. Have you ever worn sexy lingerie for your man?
A: Oh, yeah-in fact, I wear it on most days
B: No, but I would
C: No, but he keeps dreaming..."
"No, but I would."
"Have you ever told him that you're soul mates?
A: Oh yeah, way ahead of you
B: I need to be sure before I say that
C: No, but that's good material. I'm using it tonight
D: Oh please. What does that mean anyway."
"I'm Irish, I can't discount that as romantic lies. So... I need to be sure."
He cocked his head. "I wonder if it's possible to have a soul mate, even if you don't have one anymore."
She shrugged. "I think heart-mates is a better match."
He grinned. "If your trying to make me feel better, it's working." Glanced at the magazine again. "Ug. What about dedicating a song to your man on the radio?
A: It's great and I'd do it again
B: Hmm, I haven't yet, but maybe
C: Please-who really does that?"
She rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease. Neurotic, clingy, bullshit, much?"
"I'm with you on that. You, a bubble bath, and your honey. Do they go together?
A: Oh yeah-like candy hearts to Valentine's Day
B: They haven't yet, but it's not a bad idea
C: No way. I'll keep my bubbles to myself."
She bit her lip, mulled it over. "Mmm... yummy. Not a bad idea."
He chuckled. "O..k.." Cleared his throat, read the next question, backed up. "I want you to know that I am just reading this word for word, alright? None of this is mine. Got it?"
She laughed. "All right."
Do you call when your" -wince- "Schmoopie isn't home to leave "I miss you" messages?
A: Hasn't everyone?
B: No, but I would
C: What's the point of calling if he's not there?"
"What freaks. Who actually does that? If he's not there, he's not gonna get the message till he gets home, and by then it's a moot point!"
He laughed. "It's called being a love sick puppy. I'm just a regular puppy. C'mon, admit it. Have you bought clothes for yourself because you knew your sweetie would like them?
A: Sure, I like what he likes
B: No, but I wouldn't rule it out
C: Why would anyone do that?"
"No, but I wouldn't rule it out. If I liked it, too."
He grinned. "I'm not telling you my answer to the next one. Do Hallmark commercials make you cry?
A: Yes
B: No "
She sighed. "Some of them."
He nodded. ""He" finally meets your parents. Do you introduce him as your future spouse?
A: Yup, even if I don't have the ring on my finger
B: Not on the first introduction, but maybe someday
C: Are you kidding? That'll jinx it for sure."
"It's a total jinx."
He laughed. "I'm with you on that one." He made a face a the next question as unpleasant memories of Harmony floated up. Gritted his teeth and said, "Do you ever talk "baby talk" with your honey?
A: Yes-ey poo!
B: No, but I suppose it's not out of the question
C: Eww, gross." Made a face.
"That wierds me out so badly. No way."
He sighed. "Yeah. And it's traumatizing for the other person. Believe me."
She smirked.
He ignored it. "Have you and your darlin' ever taken silly pictures together in a photo booth?
A: Yeah, and we've got all the pics taped to my fridge
B: Not yet-those booths are just never around when we're feeling goofy
C: No, we leave the photo booths to small children and people taking passport photos."
"Yeah..."
He laughed. "You've got to be kidding."
She grinned. "Shut up."
He chuckled. " Fess up. Do you keep an item of your man's clothing nearby to remind you of his smell?
A: A T-shirt, a sweatshirt, a hat-should I go on?
B: No, but I wouldn't rule it out
C: Eww! He doesn't smell that good!"
"Wouldn't rule it out."
He grinned. "We're ready to find out your romantic fantasy."
She wiggled her fingers. "Whoooooooo..."
He laughed. "Ok, I think this is funny. Here's what it says: Wake up! Looks like your romantic fantasy is Breakfast in Bed! There are few things better than waking up to the smell of hot coffee and sizzling bacon, or fresh fruit and granola, especially when it's right under your nose. What is it about the combination of breakfast and bed?"
She laughed. "Sure! Why not?"
He chuckled. "I wonder what mine would be..."
"Let's find out over pizza."
"Good idea. You order, I'll take the test really quick."
She grinned and picked up the phone.
Spike suddenly laughed. "You won't believe this."
She hung the phone back in the cradle. "What?"
He laughed again. "It says my romantic fantasy is a long night of cuddling by a fire. Preferably with me being the one being held." He shook his head. "Told you I'm a puppy."
She laughed. "You didn't even need to take it!! Maybe I'll start calling you Puppy..."
He growled. "Only if you want me to bite you, instead of the pizza." Grinned to show that he didn't mean it.
She grinned. "Pizza'll be up in fifteen minutes, Puppy."
He started to pounce at her.
"Sit."
He sat. Then looked confused. Chuckled. "Well, I guess I'm already playing dead, huh?"
She laughed. "Good Spike."
"Arf."
Hey, guys. Tequila here. I want you to know, you're getting two chaps today, since I will be gone this weekend. I didn't want to let you all down on the uploading, which I think I've been doing a good job of lately. : ) Anyway,hope you enjoy. More Monday.
Always. Tequila PS~ Sorry this wasn't up yesterday... ff.net was screwing me over yesterday. *grrrr*
Author's Notes 1, Tigerwolf: Adding an extra disclaimer here. The tests in this chap are real. They can be found on www.emode.com. Which is a fun place to mess around. They do not belong to us, and some questions have been omitted for time constraints. Thank you.
After a night of movies and only slightly strained silence here and there, Buffy had fallen asleep on Giles' couch in his room. Spike had been hugging HIS arm of the couch, and SHE had been hugging hers.
When she stirred slowly, the first thing she noticed was that she was no longer vertical. In fact, she was horizontal. And her pillow was kinda hard. And denim. And Spike's lap.
The vampire, for his part, was unaware of the Slayer's presence, since he was still *mostly* asleep. Breathing, but very deeply.
The sleepy feeling evaporated. She was laying on Spike's lap. Lap of Spike was she laying on. Maybe if she was very very still and slow, he wouldn't wake up. Shit shit shit. Ok... Ok... Sleeping on Spike once is an accident. Twice is a coincidence, but what the hell is three times?? Three times is... umm... well, something that she would figure out at a later date.
Spike shifted a little, his hand slipped from the back of the couch and draped over Buffy's hip. Crap. Now what?
She started to slide her hips forward slowly, hoping to lower her feet to the ground, then swing off the couch in a crouch.
The thing that was keeping Spike warm was moving. This could not be allowed. The hand on her hip slipped a couple of fingers into her pocket and latched on.
Her eyes closed in dismay. Why her? Why not someone else??
Spike shifted again, opening one eye to figure out what was making that heartbeat noise so close to him. Glanced around. Oh. Buffy... Close eye. Wait a minute. Buffy!? Snapped both eyes open. Glanced at the Slayer in his lap. Just stared. Didn't move. 'Oh god, she's gonna kill me.'
She decided to check his face, make sure he was still asleep. Turned her head slowly.
Snap eyes closed. Very quickly. Warp speed. So fast, it almost hurt. Too little too late. Still. Hope. Just don't move. Don't breathe. Don't. Do. Anything.
Every muscle in her body tense, she sat up slowly to her corner of the couch, pretending to not have met a snapping closed sea of blue to her green eyes.
He allowed his hand to just drop to the couch, then, when it was relatively safe, opened eyes again. Exaggerated a yawn. "Oh. Mornin', Buffy."
Looked sleepily from where she had been cozily 'sleeping' in a tight ball. Yawn. "Morning."
Mental 'whoosh' of relief. Ok. Both of them could play this game. That was good. Spike yawned again. "I'm gonna head back to my room. Take a shower. You know the number if you need me for anything."
She nodded. "Yeah. Sure."
He got up and stretched luxuriously, closing his eyes and using the arm of the couch to lean on as he stretched the muscles of his sides and back.
And Buffy's mouth watered.
Spike finished the stretch slowly, ending in a fang-showing yawn. Eyes opened as he regained upright stature. Hands on his hips, one last stretch for his stomach muscles, leaning backwards. Eyes closed again. This was a morning ritual.
Buffy's mouth moved, thanking heaven the pitiful moan that would have fallen out was silent.
Finally, having completed his morning stretch, Spike headed for the door, shaking his head slightly to clear out the last of the morning cobwebs.
Her eyes traveled down his back to watch that nummy thing attached to the bottom of his hips. Stretched out on the couch like it was nothing to her.
He opened the door, turned to give her a half wave, then went out and shut the door behind him, only to slump on the wall next to the door. Whew. That could have been a lot worse.
Inside the room, Buffy buried her face in her hands. Could that have been worse??
========================================================================== ==========
Spike had been in his room for about twenty minutes, when someone knocked.
Madison rapped her fist against the door again. "Spike?"
He hopped up quickly and answered the door. "Hey! What's up?"
She shoved a pint container at him, complete with plastic spoon, keeping the other one in her arms. "Need adult company, and icecream, desperately."
He accepted the container with a chuckle. "Your room or mine?"
"Mine. I bought a movie off Pay-Per-View, too."
"Okay." He followed her into her room. "What movie?"
"Someone Like You." She jumped on the bed and laid on her stomach. "I am never EVER having kids."
Another chuckle as he sat on the side of the bed next to her. "Two questions. One, why not? And two, what's the movie about?"
"My uncle's three kids are juvenile, and horridly mannered, and... dirty, and just... ugh. I don't want to think that I have genes like that waiting to be passed on. And it's about this girl who thinks shes in love with this guy, who seems like a great guy, but he's a dog, and the REAL guy that loves her is the not so perfect guy."
Spike chuckled. "That's a little too close to reality, but I'll watch it." Gave her a grin. "Are all three boys? The kids?"
"Yes." Shoveled in a bite of white chocolate icecream. "Mongrels."
"Ah. Then it's simple. Just have girls."
She grinned at him. "Yeah. I'll just be sure to have girls. Because that's all there is to it."
He laughed. "That's all there is. I read somewhere that there's a way to do that, too. I just can't remember what it was."
She gave him a grin. "If you remember it, let me know."
He chuckled and laid over on his back, parallel to her. "I'll be sure to. But girls aren't easy, either. Especially when they're teenagers."
She grinned. "We are if you know how to handle us."
"You are no longer a teenager, missy."
Triumphant grin. "I know. It's too cool."
He laughed. "You are like a fifth of my age right now."
She stuck her tongue out at him, then spooned up some of his icecream. "You're an old fart."
He growled at her. "Am not. Physically, I'm twenty four."
She cocked her head at him, stole another bite. "Yeah, but you're like... older than dirt mentally."
"One hundred and forty six since I was born, or one hundred and twenty two since I was sired. Dirt is quite older than me."
She ate a bite of her own ice cream. "Whatever. I'm twenty. I'm like... a baby to you."
"Fledgling," he chuckled, mimicking her movement and taking a bite of her ice cream.
She pouted, but didn't smack him with her spoon. "So... How's Dawn?"
"She's great. A little miffed about her foot, though." He chuckled. "But she let me go without too much grief last night. I checked out the pool."
"Yeah? You like?"
He laughed. "You could say that. Buffy was down there. She pushed me in. Soaked my clothes!"
Madison laughed. "How'd she do that?"
He took a bite of ice cream. "I'd rather not say. Lets just say she got close to me, and I didn't move, and she pushed me in and then laughed at me." Licked at the spoon.
She rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to be this... dangerous, cunning creature. How'd she get close enough to shove you in?"
He closed his eyes, embarrassed. "One word. Bikini."
Madison smirked. "One guess? Wet bikini?"
Sheepish nod.
She laughed. "I've got to give her props. She apparently knows how to use what she's given."
Pained moan. Held the cold ice cream to his forehead as if he had a fever.
Smiled at him. "So! Do you know what you're going to do with her?"
"Probably kill myself and put me out of her misery. I swear... If I wake up with her on top of me one more time-"
"Excuse me? You said you two never fu-"
"No!", he yelped. "We.. we haven't.. it was innocent. Really." Took a bite of ice cream again.
"Waking up on top of someone is RARELY innocent, unless one of the people is a corpse. And even then it's REALLY shaky."
He gave a chuckle. "I am a corpse."
"Unanimated corpse."
"Ok. You really want to know what happened?"
Thumped her plastic spoon on his forehead and stole a bite of his. "Duh."
He sighed. "Alright. When we spend the night in the Ohana, we have to line up the cots in the main area, all pressed together so that they can fit. Mine is the one closest to the bedroom door. Buffy's is the one behind me. Twice now, I've woken up with her snuggled up against my back with an arm or leg draped over me."
She gave him a sly smile. "Well well."
He snorted at her. "Yeah. And then she pulls away like I'm made out of molten lava when she wakes up."
Soft frown. "I wonder why?"
"Cause she... Well, she doesn't hate me. She's said as much. We're even.. friends. Kind of." Sigh. "I just don't know what to think anymore."
"Why not?"
"Because.. She acts.. nice to me one minute, and then like I'm a dead rat that she's just found under a sink the next."
And THERE she went to the bad visual place. "Give me an example."
Took a deep breath. "It's like what happened after we kissed the other night. Then she ignored me until last night."
Madison frowned. "What happened that night? I mean.. why'd she kiss you?"
"I don't know. We were dancing.. really close... and then she had me backed up against a post, and was rubbing against me in a way that I could *not* ignore, and then she kissed me."
"Dancing close, how? Like... wow, it's crowded in here, or, wow, I can feel all your 2000 parts?"
"The second one." He rolled his shirt up slightly and sat the ice cream container on his stomach. "I need to cool down just remembering it."
She grinned. "And then what?"
"I told you. She pinned me to a post, rubbed on me like I was made out of catnip and she was a tabby, and then kissed me."
Stupid, lucky bitch. "Cousin kiss, or... almost tore off her clothes kiss?"
"Once again. The second one." His eyes closed, and he set the container of ice cream a little lower. Gotta cool down, here.
"How'd she act after that?"
Snort, and minor eye flash. "Totally blew me off. Barely said two words to me till last night."
"How did she look at you?"
"I wasn't paying attention. She ignored me, so I ignored her back. I did catch her staring at me a couple of times." He snorted again. "Probably wondering what she had been on that night."
She sat up. "How did she look when she was looking at you?"
"I don't know. We both looked away really fast. No time to gauge it." He thought for a moment. "But I think she was looking at my stomach or something first. Then moved up. I can't be sure. She may have been looking at her magazine."
Madison took in the hint of abs showing where he had rolled up his shirt. "There's no magazine more interesting than those."
He moved the ice cream, glanced down. "What's so interesting about my stomach?"
"She wasn't looking at your stomach. The muscles on your stomach, yes. You know you have a great body. I bet you have to work a little bit to keep it that way."
He chuckled. "Naw. Not really. Part of the vamp package is not having to work out. Just as long as I don't eat... like.. a busload of nuns, I won't gain a pound. I lose easily, though. Vamps can be weak if they go without feeding for a couple of days."
She nodded. "Jerk."
He cocked his head. "Huh?"
"Don't have to work out and you lose weight easily. That's sick and unfair."
He laughed. "Sorry. I'm dead. That's the downside. And I don't have much of a sense of taste. All other senses are greatly heightened, though."
She nodded. "Ok, back to stupid girl."
He gave a short growl. "She's not stupid, Madison."
"She can't see what's in front of her face, and he's good, and funny, and gorgeous. If that's not stupid, I don't know what is. When she touched you, after the kiss, what's it like?"
"Well, last night, we stayed in her Watcher's room, and watched TV on the couch. She messed with me a bit. I think she was starting to calm down again."
"Like how?"
"How what?"
"Did she maybe touch you, and it was soft, but then she kinda pulled back again? Or something like that?"
"A couple of times. And she whacked me, and threw a pillow at me. And shoved me off the couch. But that was just playing."
Madison was intrigued now. "Back up. I want everything when she touched you. Eyes, mouth, voice, body, fingers, everything."
He closed his eyes, concentrated. "Ok.. Uh.. Well. We were watching Sleepless In Seattle, and she was kind of dozing off, I guess. She almost tipped over on my shoulder, but caught herself, and just put a hand on my shoulder to apologize. Her heartbeat sped up and her bloodpressure jumped for a moment, then she pulled back. The second time, she thought I was asleep. She just kind of.. reached out and ran her hand down my stomach, and around to my side. I kept my eyes closed, but it did feel good."
A slow smile spread over the girl's face. "She's trying to stay away from you."
His eyes opened, and he looked at her. "Why? Why can't she just tell me what she wants?" He sighed. "And I thought Dru was hard to understand."
"You're... a temptation to her. One that has to be resisted staunchly. After all, how long has it been hammered in her poor head that it IS wrong?"
"Ever since before Peaches went evil on her."
"Peach-? Angel?"
Snort. "Yeah."
"Right. So, anyway. Forever. And you show up, being the contradiction, and all sexy, and she DOES give in for a minute, she's got to be confused. So, if she doesn't give in again, it isn't so hard to deal with."
He shook his head. "I tried to deny it when I first fell for her. Then I was so scared to tell her, scared that I'd say something wrong.. I'm not good at that sort of thing.. That I practiced on a mannequin, and still wound up getting angry at it." Madison was giggling now. "Ok. What's so funny?"
Another giggle. "A mannequin?"
"Yeah. Well. Desperate times. You know." He rolled with his back to her and set his ice cream on the floor. "I should *not* have told you that."
Big grin. "Probably not. So. How are you gonna make her cave?"
"What can I do? If I push her, she'll just get mad at me again."
"Break her."
He rolled back over, so he was on his back again. "And just *how* do you propose I do that? At least she's speaking to me now. It can only get better. Right?"
"Right. What about like..." She brushed two fingers down his arm. "A touch here, a look there, conveniently corner her body, brush yours against hers, let her want you, and then walk away."
Slightly evil grin. "She'd kill me if she realized that I was doing it on purpose."
"But you'll be so slick, she'll never know till you've already boinked her and called her your own."
He laughed. "You're really thinking ahead, aren't you?"
She smiled. "I'm a plotter. So! Eventually, she'll come begging to you."
Snort. "Uh-huh. That'll be the day pigs fly. The Slayer doesn't beg. Just like I don't. I've never begged once in my life. Not even while being tortured. Which has happened several times."
She simply arched a brow. "Don't give her what she thinks she needs for a long time. Just out of reach, but in sight."
"You scheming vixen, you."
"Why, thank you!"
He laughed, scratching at an itch on his stomach absently. "I'd hate to think what's going to happen when some lucky guy falls for you. You'll have him wrapped, tied, and chained to your little finger."
She grinned. "Basically. But it's no fun if you can whip 'em. I want the man I can't whip."
"Oh? Example?"
She shrugged. "Guys who come running when you snap your fingers are fun, but boring."
He chuckled. "I'm boring, then. I like being a puppy. Always have been. In private, anyway. Guard dog in public."
She shook her head. "No you aren't. I mean, not entirely. You like the fight, the challenge, the fire."
He grinned at her. "See? That's the guard dog. Would you believe me if I told you that one of my fantasies is for Buffy to just hold me? Tell me that she loves me. That's one of my favorite dreams."
Madison smiled. "Go ahead. Tell me that the other one isn't you shaking it out of her, with a few hard kisses along the way? A couple scrapes and bruises?"
Grinned. Nodded a little. "Yeah. Well... That's in there, too. Depends on my mood as to which one."
Knowing smile. "Yup."
He laughed. "You know, all we ever do is talk about me. What about you? Hopes, dreams, aspirations?"
"I wanna be a psychologist."
Chuckled. "It shows. You're well on your way. Should I be paying for our little talks?"
Small smile. "Nope. Free sessions until a degree is obtained. I like analyzing people, see what makes them tick, what makes them break, trying to get in someone's head to understand them better."
"Well, Dr. Madison, what do you understand about me?"
Quietly, "That you love the unworthy, but consider yourself to be the one unworthy."
He looked at her. "I have a reason. History is hard to forget. When things make an impression, good or bad, it sticks with you, no matter how long you live."
She unknowingly hit on it. "You're not.. beneath her, or anyone. As far as I'm concerned, you're better than her."
He stayed silent, wondering if she'd noticed the rapid blinks and tensing of his body at those words. Those words that had been burned into his memory with the branding iron that is a broken heart.
She had. She rolled on her side, pillowed her head on his shoulder. "You're not beneath anyone."
He didn't relax, but his head cocked sideways, rested his cheek on her head. Then, so quietly that it was little more than an exhale, "Thank you.."
"I'll say it, over and over, until, good or bad, it's impossible to forget. I *know* that you are not beneath anyone."
Very slowly, he started to relax, blinking rapidly again. "Where were you in 1880? You could have kept me from being turned."
She gave a small smile. "I think my great great great grandmother was being thought of. And I'm glad I wasn't. I think Dawn needs you, and Buffy will, too."
"Yeah..." He chuckled quietly, ruefully. "That's what did it, you know. She told me that... I ran out. Wrong place. Very wrong time. Woke up terrified and nailed in a box."
She put an arm over his chest in a protective hug. Felt his muscles relax even further. He sighed. "Take it from me. If you ever are in a coffin, make sure that someone tries to stake you before your funeral. Put it in a will, or something. There is nothing more terrifying that waking up underground, in the dark, in a box, and having to claw through the top and dig up through six feet of dirt."
It horrified her. "But- that's-"
"Terrible? Yeah. But that's the way all vamps start out. Then, once you're out, all you can think about is food for about three days. After that, it gets better."
"Better?"
"You start to feel strong. And it stops feeling wrong to feed, mostly. It helps if you have a pack to take care of you. I was lucky. I had Dru and Angelus. Although he got sick of me after I refused to kill my family."
"I'm glad you did."
"Yeah. I just couldn't do it. Angelus said that it was a tradition, and that I would be the only one in the order not to do it. But I just couldn't."
"I'm sure your family appreciated it."
His voice sounded sad now. "They didn't even know. I kept the others away from them. But I went back a couple of times. Saw my mom and sister crying over me. I wanted nothing more than to show myself. Talk to them. Tell them that I was really alright. But if I had, Angelus would have killed them and left their heads in my bed as punishment for being sentimental."
Hugged him again. She felt as horrible as when Will broke his leg trying to make her a present.
He sighed. "No point in feeling bad over things you can't change, though." He made no move to dislodge her from him, however. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't be telling you all this. I'm not a very good friend, am I?"
She frowned. "Of course you are. I wouldn't be a good friend if you couldn't tell me."
He gave a half sniff. It almost wasn't there. "Thanks. For everything, Madison."
She shrugged. "Anytime."
Deep sigh. "Can I ask you to do something?"
"Sure."
"Cheer me up. I'm totally depressed now."
"Dawn's socks are spotless."
Sigh. "Good. She'd be upset if there was a bloodstain on it."
"Mmm... There's a Moonlighting marathon on TV."
"Nope. Thanks, though. I seem to have given you an impossible assignment."
"Mmmm... Let's go swimming."
"No. Now the pool makes me think of Buffy, and that makes it worse."
"Let's order pizza to the wrong door! Come on. We can prank call every room here."
He rolled over with his back to her. "Sorry. Not really in a playful mood." Small grin that was gone too fast for her to see it. Thankfully, he was turned the wrong way.
She narrowed her eyes. Then brightened. "Ooh! We can knock on the doors, then throw ice at the people who open the door! Just toss the whole bucketful at them!"
"Infantile behavior." Another, very well hidden grin. "It would get us kicked out of the hotel."
She snorted. "Not with the money MY parents shoved into this place. Moon the cameras."
"You can not be serious. You're just trying to make me laugh. I don't feel like it."
She stood. "I am so serious."
He rolled onto his stomach, and pillowed his head on his arms, face down. There. Now she couldn't see if she got him. "Then go and get your butt cold. I'll wait here."
She grinned. "Okay. Here I go." She walked out the door, and less than two minutes later came running back in the room. "PRICELESS!" She leaned against the door, laughing. "I mooned the whole elevator. The doors opened, and the looks on their faces..." She cracked up again. "Then, ya know, I ran, but... it was still funny."
He was still on the bed. Same position, but... Oh how hard it was with *that* mental image to keep his 'I'm depressed' act going. "Quite an accomplishment. I'm proud of you." Said to the comforter.
"Come ONNNN!!! You suck! That was the best, and quite frankly, you're boring me."
"I do suck. I'm a vampire. It's what we do. Sorry if I'm boring. I'm taking a nap, now."
She sat on the bed, and put her feet in his face. "Paint my toenails."
He hid a grin. "What? Now you've got to be kidding."
Wiggled them. "Do it."
"And what if I don't want to?" He rolled over, regarding her upside down. "What would you do then?"
"You're a puppy. Remember? So paint my toenails."
"So I'm a puppy. What does that have to do with anything? *You* do not hold my leash. Well, not the main one, anyway."
She just gaped at him. "I can't believe you said that." Tucked her feet under her. "Fine."
He gave her a half grin. "Sorry. I didn't mean it."
Pouted.
He bit his lip. "You really want me to paint your toenails?"
Nodded hmph.
He sighed. "And then what?"
"We eat pizza, and then YOU moon an elevator."
"I am *not* doing that! It's bleedin' embarrassing! Taking the 'bare ass' part of the word literally!"
She laughed. "Ooook. We can eat pizza, and then order another one."
"Eat two pizzas? I may have two stomachs, but only one of them can handle human food."
Her eyes lit up. "Wanna go dancing?"
"How about a compromise? We stay here, and... Hang on a second. I saw something under the bed earlier."
"What's under the bed?"
He ducked over, pulled out a magazine. "It's an old magazine." He read the cover. "Seventeen, the test issue. Find out everything you've ever wanted to know about yourself."
She laughed. "How cool!"
He let out a laugh. "Who's Your Monster Match? That's the first test." He grinned at her. "I know mine. Wanna find out what kind of monster you are?"
"Yes."
"Ok. First question: If you were left alone at night in an old house, which sound would scare you most?
A: Creaking stairs.
B: The distant sound of whispering.
C: Loud banging in the attic.
D: The howling of an unidentifiable man-beast. Pick one."
"Banging in the attic."
He chuckled. "Ok. Next question.
What kind of Halloween costumes do you like to wear?
A: The funnier the better. My costume should crack people up
B: Tight, revealing costumes. What better excuse to show off my bod
C: Scary or gross, it's all about the shock value.
D: I don't really like dressing up."
"Tight, revealing costumes. It's so fun."
Chuckled again. "Question 3: Who's better looking?
A: The bride of Frankenstein
B: The witches of Eastwick
C: Count Dracula
D: Teen Wolf?" Laughed."Is this really a question?"
"Count Dracula."
He snorted at her, but marked on the page. "Halloween candy. Do you:
A: Hoard it
B: Share it."
She snorted back at him. "Hoard."
He laughed. "Of course." Turned back to the test. "You're invited to a Halloween party. Do you show up:
A: In my regular clothes
B: In a wig, I've got some spirit
C: In face paint
D: In the costume that wins first prize
E: Show up? I'm throwing the party!"
"I'm throwing."
"That does not surprise me at all," the vampire said with a laugh. "Ok. When Monster Mash comes on the radio are you:
A: Break dancing
B: Doing the twist
C: Waltzing
D: Salsa dancing."
She smiled, tossed her pitch black hair. "I salsa," she said, mimicking her mother's accent.
He laughed again. "I could have guessed." Looked back at the magazine. "Are you usually:
A: Playing tricks on friends
B: Having tricks played on you by friends." Cocked his head at her. "I think I know what you're going to say."
She grinned. "You'd be right. I play tricks."
He laughed, and then couldn't stop when he read the next question. Finally, he choked out, "All expenses paid vacation. Where do you go?
A: Transylvania
B: Egypt. I just can't get enough of those pyramids
C: Any place that's too hot for most people
D: European castles. There's just something about those drafty chambers
E: London, I've got a great coat to beat the rain..." Started laughing again. Composed himself. "Sorry. That was it."
She grinned at him. "European castles."
He grinned back. "Listen to the next one. How do you like your steak prepared?
A: Rare. Still kicking, if possible
B: Medium with a touch of color
C: Well-done, charred, blackened, just cook the thing
D: I don't eat meat."
"Medium."
He marked the page, then smiled at her. "I can answer the next one for you. But I'll read it anyway. Are your hands usually:
A: Graceful and smooth
B: A little on the hairy side
C: A little rough, but my long nails make up for it
D: Covered in Band-Aids."
She glanced at hers. "Graceful and smooth? Tell me that's what you were thinking."
He nodded. "Too bad they don't have 'elegant' in there as well."
Slight blush.
He grinned. "And we move on. What was the worst item to get in your trick- or-treat bag?
A: Fruit. Thanks, but no thanks
B: Pennies. Those people should just leave their porch lights off
C: Toothbrush and floss
D: Those awful popcorn balls."
"Pennies!! What's up with that?? My friends and I saved them and pegged their houses."
He laughed. "Which of the following best describes your sleeping habits?
A: Door open and nightlight on, please
B: I need total darkness to fall asleep
C: I feel safer sleeping in an enclosed space
D: I roll around a lot. I need my space."
"Mmm... total darkness. But nightlight lately."
"My fault, I'm guessing."
"Harvester demons could get me."
He chuckled. "They're harmless. And nice. Let's move on. Which of the following breakfast cereals would you eat?
A: Fruity Yummy Mummy
B: Frankenberry
C: Count Chocula
D: Boo Berry."
"Umm... They all sound kinda fruity, and I like Cap'n Crunch. so.. I'd have to say, Boo Berry."
He chuckled. "If you'd said 'Count Chocula', I was gonna bite you."
She made a face. "Tshaw. What's wrong with him? I mean, he's not really real, and- He's real, isn't he?"
He laughed. "No.. He's not. If he were, he'd be biting Reese's cups. Which is fun, by the way."
She laughed. "I wanna be able to do that!"
He chuckled. "Human version. Poke Reese's cup with an icepick, then suck. Works just as well. I taught Dawn to do it like that."
Pout. "I wanna have super teefers." She made sucking noises. Stopped when she realized he was looking at her.
He shook his head then laughed. "Ok, Ms. Budding Vampiress. Ready for the last question?"
Winced with a smile, then nodded.
He read, "You're going to a costume party in three hours but you don't have a costume yet. You:
A: Wear last year's costume
B: Buy one of those $4.95 plastic bib-and-mask specials
C: Just add fake blood
D: Use every one of those three hours to put together the best costume you've ever seen."
"Use the three hours."
He marked the page. "Ok. Hang on while I tally the points."
She nodded, hummed the Jeopardy theme.
He laughed. "Ok. I'm gonna read this for you. Madison, there's a GHOST lurking inside of you. You're a fun loving prankster, always with a joke up your sleeve. That's why your monster match is a ghost. Your bag has more tricks than treats, but you can take it as well as you can dish it out. That's what it says."
She grinned. "That's me!"
He chuckled. "Then we did it right. Want me to see what other kind of tests there are? They're in categories. Relationships. Personality. Identity. Which category?"
"Relationships. Lets see if we can get me out of this slump."
"Ok." He flipped the pages. "There are three internal categories. Matchmakers. In love. Looking For Love."
"Ugn. You pick."
He laughed. "How about this one, What's Your Romantic Fantasy?"
She let out a laughing sigh. "Sure. Why not?"
He chuckled, then nearly backed out of it when he read the first question. Swallowed, then continued. "What type of poetry would you recite to your sweetie?
A: That's easy. A sonnet, the poem of love
B: A rock ballad in the key of G
C: A limerick like the ones that goes, "There once was a man from Nantucket..."
D: I don't do poetry." Winced at the last one.
She smiled. "Sonnet."
He sighed, muttered an almost inaudible, 'thank you,' to no one in particular. " Would you and your significant other ever wear matching "his" and "hers" outfits?
A: That's so cute! It's the perfect way to demonstrate our matching love for each other
B: Matching, no. But it's cool when our looks compliment one another
C: You'd never see us matching on purpose, unless it was for a costume party
D: I'd sooner throw myself down a flight of stairs than dress like my sweetie, bless his heart." He chuckled.
"That last one. With the stairs and tossing."
He chuckled. "You and me both." Cleared his throat. "I don't know if I want to know this one.. But.. Have you ever worn sexy lingerie for your man?
A: Oh, yeah-in fact, I wear it on most days
B: No, but I would
C: No, but he keeps dreaming..."
"No, but I would."
"Have you ever told him that you're soul mates?
A: Oh yeah, way ahead of you
B: I need to be sure before I say that
C: No, but that's good material. I'm using it tonight
D: Oh please. What does that mean anyway."
"I'm Irish, I can't discount that as romantic lies. So... I need to be sure."
He cocked his head. "I wonder if it's possible to have a soul mate, even if you don't have one anymore."
She shrugged. "I think heart-mates is a better match."
He grinned. "If your trying to make me feel better, it's working." Glanced at the magazine again. "Ug. What about dedicating a song to your man on the radio?
A: It's great and I'd do it again
B: Hmm, I haven't yet, but maybe
C: Please-who really does that?"
She rolled her eyes. "Puh-lease. Neurotic, clingy, bullshit, much?"
"I'm with you on that. You, a bubble bath, and your honey. Do they go together?
A: Oh yeah-like candy hearts to Valentine's Day
B: They haven't yet, but it's not a bad idea
C: No way. I'll keep my bubbles to myself."
She bit her lip, mulled it over. "Mmm... yummy. Not a bad idea."
He chuckled. "O..k.." Cleared his throat, read the next question, backed up. "I want you to know that I am just reading this word for word, alright? None of this is mine. Got it?"
She laughed. "All right."
Do you call when your" -wince- "Schmoopie isn't home to leave "I miss you" messages?
A: Hasn't everyone?
B: No, but I would
C: What's the point of calling if he's not there?"
"What freaks. Who actually does that? If he's not there, he's not gonna get the message till he gets home, and by then it's a moot point!"
He laughed. "It's called being a love sick puppy. I'm just a regular puppy. C'mon, admit it. Have you bought clothes for yourself because you knew your sweetie would like them?
A: Sure, I like what he likes
B: No, but I wouldn't rule it out
C: Why would anyone do that?"
"No, but I wouldn't rule it out. If I liked it, too."
He grinned. "I'm not telling you my answer to the next one. Do Hallmark commercials make you cry?
A: Yes
B: No "
She sighed. "Some of them."
He nodded. ""He" finally meets your parents. Do you introduce him as your future spouse?
A: Yup, even if I don't have the ring on my finger
B: Not on the first introduction, but maybe someday
C: Are you kidding? That'll jinx it for sure."
"It's a total jinx."
He laughed. "I'm with you on that one." He made a face a the next question as unpleasant memories of Harmony floated up. Gritted his teeth and said, "Do you ever talk "baby talk" with your honey?
A: Yes-ey poo!
B: No, but I suppose it's not out of the question
C: Eww, gross." Made a face.
"That wierds me out so badly. No way."
He sighed. "Yeah. And it's traumatizing for the other person. Believe me."
She smirked.
He ignored it. "Have you and your darlin' ever taken silly pictures together in a photo booth?
A: Yeah, and we've got all the pics taped to my fridge
B: Not yet-those booths are just never around when we're feeling goofy
C: No, we leave the photo booths to small children and people taking passport photos."
"Yeah..."
He laughed. "You've got to be kidding."
She grinned. "Shut up."
He chuckled. " Fess up. Do you keep an item of your man's clothing nearby to remind you of his smell?
A: A T-shirt, a sweatshirt, a hat-should I go on?
B: No, but I wouldn't rule it out
C: Eww! He doesn't smell that good!"
"Wouldn't rule it out."
He grinned. "We're ready to find out your romantic fantasy."
She wiggled her fingers. "Whoooooooo..."
He laughed. "Ok, I think this is funny. Here's what it says: Wake up! Looks like your romantic fantasy is Breakfast in Bed! There are few things better than waking up to the smell of hot coffee and sizzling bacon, or fresh fruit and granola, especially when it's right under your nose. What is it about the combination of breakfast and bed?"
She laughed. "Sure! Why not?"
He chuckled. "I wonder what mine would be..."
"Let's find out over pizza."
"Good idea. You order, I'll take the test really quick."
She grinned and picked up the phone.
Spike suddenly laughed. "You won't believe this."
She hung the phone back in the cradle. "What?"
He laughed again. "It says my romantic fantasy is a long night of cuddling by a fire. Preferably with me being the one being held." He shook his head. "Told you I'm a puppy."
She laughed. "You didn't even need to take it!! Maybe I'll start calling you Puppy..."
He growled. "Only if you want me to bite you, instead of the pizza." Grinned to show that he didn't mean it.
She grinned. "Pizza'll be up in fifteen minutes, Puppy."
He started to pounce at her.
"Sit."
He sat. Then looked confused. Chuckled. "Well, I guess I'm already playing dead, huh?"
She laughed. "Good Spike."
"Arf."
Hey, guys. Tequila here. I want you to know, you're getting two chaps today, since I will be gone this weekend. I didn't want to let you all down on the uploading, which I think I've been doing a good job of lately. : ) Anyway,hope you enjoy. More Monday.
Always. Tequila PS~ Sorry this wasn't up yesterday... ff.net was screwing me over yesterday. *grrrr*