Title:
Bonding (not what you think, note the "G" rating you naughty minded ones)
Summary: Buffy watches "Sunnydale's Wildest Police Chases" on T.V. and sees a familiar black DeSoto with blacked out windows. She goes and picks Spike up from jail and keeps him at her house until he's more sober. Buffy gets bored and decides to have some fun. (Remember "G" rating) It is almost pure Fluff not really in the beginning though.
Disclaimer: (By the way, Cate is me!) We see Spike sitting at a card table with Buffy, Willow, Xander, Dawn, and Anya.
"You are all going down!" shouted Buffy, playfully.
Spike smirked at her, "You wish!"
"I've got 5 red ones!" called Anya.
"Your not supposed to say what you have Ahn." Replied Xander.
"Oh, well then I don't have 5 red cards. I have cards of many colors." Anya said huffily.
"Will you two shut up? We are trying to play 5 card draw here!" yelled Spike, getting a bit annoyed.
"Leave them alone Spike or I'll," started Buffy.
"Or you'll what slayer?" Spike interrupted.
Willow butted in, "Hey! Aren't you guys forgetting something?"
Both Buffy and Spike looked over at the redheaded witch, as she laid down her cards. She forfeited.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"The disclaimer!" shouted Dawn as she laid down her cards. She was out as well.
"Oh your right Bit. Cate doesn't own any of us. We belong to JossWhedon." Said Spike "Even though I know that girl'd like to own me," he said under his breath.
"Hey,"said Cate as she magically popped into the scene, "Your gonna get it now! Your hot and all but you can be such and asshole!"
"Tell me about it." commented Buffy from the other end of the table.
"Bloody Hell! How'd you get in here?" yelled Spike looking hurt and proud at the same time from both remarks.
Cate smiled and walked over to look at everyone's hand. She grabbed Spike's hand and laid it down on the table. "You lose! Buffy beat your hand!" and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Ha! Told you!" shouted Buffy.
Spike picked up his cards and read them, they weren't what he had before. There was one word on each card: Better. Luck. Next. Time. Spike. written in a shiny green calligraphy pen.
"What set did you have Buffy?" he asked, just to make sure he wasn't cheated.
"Pair of 3's" she remarked snidely.
"That sodden chit." growled Spike as the cards turned white again to show the royal flush he had had before. The aces dissolved again and morphed into the words. Knew. You'd. Like. That. Trick. The cards then morphed into a pink care bear stuffed animal. Spike sank down in his seat, hugging it to his sexy, muscled chest. Cate's laughing can be heard from the ceiling.
Note: WOO! That was fun! I've never done that before, cool. Okay, here's my story, it's my second one (kudos to me) so it may be kinda dicey. It will be kinda short too. Bear with me on this chapter, the story will really change in the next chapter with more dialogue from Spike and Buffy. Need-To-Knows: Spike has a soul in this chapter but Buffy and friends don't know about it and still consider him evil.
It had been a long night of slaying; Buffy had encountered two nests of fully-fledged vampires and four extremely strong demons. And since Dawn was at a friend's house, and her mom was working late, she just plopped down on the couch and turned on the T.V. for a little relaxation time.
Announcer: Welcome to Sunnydale's Wildest Police Chases! Where the good meets the bad. DUI and other offenders of the law, beware! The police are here to save the good citizens of Sunnydale.
She snorted at the over-enthusiastic introduction. The first segment was relatively funny, it made her last at least. A man had apparently called in to the police saying he was going to kill his hostage unless they brought him some Subway and other various items. It turned out that there wasn't even a hostage in the gas station with him. He was holding a black, spray painted gun to a life-size Barbie doll.
"Just the thing to take the stress away. A drunk guy with a Subway fetish. I'm glad I only deal with the demon-y things. Humans would be so frustrating, couldn't just kill them if they annoyed the shit outta you." She said to herself as she munched on some popcorn.
She suddenly sat up as the camera panned to a black car swerving between two lanes on the highway.
"Couldn't be," she thought, "can it?"
The police managed to block the car from going any further down the wrong side of the highway. The guy holding the camera got out of the car and followed the other policeman to the driver's door.
"Having the windows tinted like this is a federal offense as well as DUI." Said the head police officer. He knocked on the window and asked the man to open the door. When there was no answer, he tried to yank the door open, but the handle came off. "Son of a-," the driver sweared from inside the car. But, the driver opened the door and sure enough Buffy saw the bleached blonde head of.,
"SPIKE!" Buffy yelled at the T.V. with frustration. "You always have to do something to get under my skin don't you, you stupid fang-y moron. And I thought the rest of my evening would be stress-free!" She sat upright and paid close attention to the rest of Spike's very own segment on the show.
The segment consisted to a lot of drunken antics on Spikes part. When he opened the door, he lost his balance and fell face first on the officer's shoes.
"What's your name, son?" the officer asked.
"Spike" the peroxide blonde replied lazily.
"Your real name." The officer said, annoyed. "Not some so called bad-ass nickname."
"William." Said Spike as he cringed.
The officer helped to him lean against the car but when he did this, Spike opened the back seat and dove in headfirst. The officer dragged Spike out by the feet, thinking he was trying to get away. Spike had a large Twinkie in his hand and his mouth full with another one. He was chewing it happily.
The officer looked in to see five more boxes to Twinkies in the back seat.
"Sam, check those boxes for drugs will you? I'm going to check the trunk."
The man holding the camera leaned into he car, showing the audience the contents of the boxes. All of them were full of half eaten Twinkies and their wrappers littered the floor. Sam checked the compartments on the back of the seat and pulled out VHS tape with no label on it and a picture of a girl.
Buffy gasped. "That's me! Oh my God!" she cried, exasperated.
"Hey! Don't touch that!" shouted Spike to the man with the camera. "It's very private."
"It's probably porn." Said the officer. "We should confiscate that." He said pointing to the two objects. "Come here and look at this!" The camera showed the inside of the trunk.
Buffy turned white. "Damn it. Why does Spike keep his weapons in his car?"
The camera showed the rest of the deadly weapons in the trunk. "HEY! THAT'S MINE! I have been looking for that axe FOREVER!" she growled.
Sam picked up an especially large metal axe. There were also daggers, swords, and some wooden stakes.
"Off to kill some vampires are ya?" asked the Sam as he panned the camera to look at Spike. He found Spike sitting next to the shoving multiple Twinkies in his mouth. Spike notice Sam looking at him and just stared at the camera with the Twinkie goo oozing out of his mouth and dribbling down his front.
"OK.," said Sam as he turned back to the other officer. "Check that out." He said to his partner.
The head officer pulled Spike off from the ground and slapped him on the back. A great, big wad of twinkie shot out of his mouth and onto the camera lense.
"I think I'm gonna be sick" said Sam, gaging.
"Get it together will ya Sam? This is all being filmed!" he muttered.
Spike tried to walk over towards his car for more twinkies but tripped, fell, and rolled into the ditch. The camera showed the edge where he fell in; it was silent.
Buffy held her breath.
Just then, they heard a fit of giggling from the drunken vampire. Sam put the camera down so that the viewers to still see the action. The two officers walked over to the ditch and dragged Spike out. He had a silly grin on his face and a dazed look in his eyes. The head officer slapped him again, but this time on his face.
It took all of Spike's self-control to stop from vamping out. Buffy noticed this. "What's he holding back for?" she wondered aloud. "He seems different. Why doesn't he show himself and act all high and mighty like always?"
Spike had pulled himself together and seemed a little bit more coherent. He was told to walk the line, touch his finger to his nose, and recite his ABC's. He could do all that just fine, but then he was asked to recite them backwards.
Spike frowned in frustration. "O.K." he slurred, "Z, Y." There was a pause; Spike rubbed his temples in concentration. "Why won't this sodden' headache go away?!" he screamed at no one in particular. The officer, on the other hand, found another offense.
"Alright man, do you happen to have your papers with you?" the officer inquired.
Spike didn't reply, he was still deep in thought.
"HEY!" the officer yelled.
This set off Spike's extra sensitive vampire-y hearing.
"What the hell do you want?" he groaned as he bent over, clamping his hands to his ears, forgetting that he was being interrogated. "I need to go home." He headed back to the Desoto, but stopped and turned around. "X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, E, B, and A! There. Are you fucking satisfied?" he slurred again.
"No, I'm not fucking satisfied!" he yelled right back at him. "I want to see your papers. You were obviously not born in this country. NOW, let me see those papers!"
"Yeah, cause you know I always carry my papers around in my back pocket just in case I get PULLED OVER BY A BLEEDIN' OFFICER AT 2 IN THE MORNING WHEN I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!" Was his remark, dripping with sarcasm.
"Hasn't done anything? You are obviously driving under the influence and when an OFFICER pulls over and offender, the offender usually pulls over to the side of the road!" he practically shrieked with his voice getting louder and higher as he finished.
Spike looked at where they were standing. He was parked the car sideways in the half-lane next to the meridian that separates both sides of the highway.
"Oh, shit" he murmured
"Oh shit is right mister, we are taking you into custody. You have the right to remain silent. Everything can and will be used against you in court." The officer said, rather pleased with himself. Spike was about a foot taller than him, and much more attractive. He felt kind of intimidated, but now he got the better of him. The law was on his side.
Spike just smiled as they pushed his head under the hood of the police car and drove him to the station. A number flashed upon the screen and the announcer's voice could be heard again.
Announcer: If you can any information on this "William." He cleared his throat, or so called "Spike" please call 1-800-WASTED or go to the Sunnydale Police stations downtown on Water Street.
Buffy was already out the door.
Summary: Buffy watches "Sunnydale's Wildest Police Chases" on T.V. and sees a familiar black DeSoto with blacked out windows. She goes and picks Spike up from jail and keeps him at her house until he's more sober. Buffy gets bored and decides to have some fun. (Remember "G" rating) It is almost pure Fluff not really in the beginning though.
Disclaimer: (By the way, Cate is me!) We see Spike sitting at a card table with Buffy, Willow, Xander, Dawn, and Anya.
"You are all going down!" shouted Buffy, playfully.
Spike smirked at her, "You wish!"
"I've got 5 red ones!" called Anya.
"Your not supposed to say what you have Ahn." Replied Xander.
"Oh, well then I don't have 5 red cards. I have cards of many colors." Anya said huffily.
"Will you two shut up? We are trying to play 5 card draw here!" yelled Spike, getting a bit annoyed.
"Leave them alone Spike or I'll," started Buffy.
"Or you'll what slayer?" Spike interrupted.
Willow butted in, "Hey! Aren't you guys forgetting something?"
Both Buffy and Spike looked over at the redheaded witch, as she laid down her cards. She forfeited.
"What?" they asked in unison.
"The disclaimer!" shouted Dawn as she laid down her cards. She was out as well.
"Oh your right Bit. Cate doesn't own any of us. We belong to JossWhedon." Said Spike "Even though I know that girl'd like to own me," he said under his breath.
"Hey,"said Cate as she magically popped into the scene, "Your gonna get it now! Your hot and all but you can be such and asshole!"
"Tell me about it." commented Buffy from the other end of the table.
"Bloody Hell! How'd you get in here?" yelled Spike looking hurt and proud at the same time from both remarks.
Cate smiled and walked over to look at everyone's hand. She grabbed Spike's hand and laid it down on the table. "You lose! Buffy beat your hand!" and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"Ha! Told you!" shouted Buffy.
Spike picked up his cards and read them, they weren't what he had before. There was one word on each card: Better. Luck. Next. Time. Spike. written in a shiny green calligraphy pen.
"What set did you have Buffy?" he asked, just to make sure he wasn't cheated.
"Pair of 3's" she remarked snidely.
"That sodden chit." growled Spike as the cards turned white again to show the royal flush he had had before. The aces dissolved again and morphed into the words. Knew. You'd. Like. That. Trick. The cards then morphed into a pink care bear stuffed animal. Spike sank down in his seat, hugging it to his sexy, muscled chest. Cate's laughing can be heard from the ceiling.
Note: WOO! That was fun! I've never done that before, cool. Okay, here's my story, it's my second one (kudos to me) so it may be kinda dicey. It will be kinda short too. Bear with me on this chapter, the story will really change in the next chapter with more dialogue from Spike and Buffy. Need-To-Knows: Spike has a soul in this chapter but Buffy and friends don't know about it and still consider him evil.
It had been a long night of slaying; Buffy had encountered two nests of fully-fledged vampires and four extremely strong demons. And since Dawn was at a friend's house, and her mom was working late, she just plopped down on the couch and turned on the T.V. for a little relaxation time.
Announcer: Welcome to Sunnydale's Wildest Police Chases! Where the good meets the bad. DUI and other offenders of the law, beware! The police are here to save the good citizens of Sunnydale.
She snorted at the over-enthusiastic introduction. The first segment was relatively funny, it made her last at least. A man had apparently called in to the police saying he was going to kill his hostage unless they brought him some Subway and other various items. It turned out that there wasn't even a hostage in the gas station with him. He was holding a black, spray painted gun to a life-size Barbie doll.
"Just the thing to take the stress away. A drunk guy with a Subway fetish. I'm glad I only deal with the demon-y things. Humans would be so frustrating, couldn't just kill them if they annoyed the shit outta you." She said to herself as she munched on some popcorn.
She suddenly sat up as the camera panned to a black car swerving between two lanes on the highway.
"Couldn't be," she thought, "can it?"
The police managed to block the car from going any further down the wrong side of the highway. The guy holding the camera got out of the car and followed the other policeman to the driver's door.
"Having the windows tinted like this is a federal offense as well as DUI." Said the head police officer. He knocked on the window and asked the man to open the door. When there was no answer, he tried to yank the door open, but the handle came off. "Son of a-," the driver sweared from inside the car. But, the driver opened the door and sure enough Buffy saw the bleached blonde head of.,
"SPIKE!" Buffy yelled at the T.V. with frustration. "You always have to do something to get under my skin don't you, you stupid fang-y moron. And I thought the rest of my evening would be stress-free!" She sat upright and paid close attention to the rest of Spike's very own segment on the show.
The segment consisted to a lot of drunken antics on Spikes part. When he opened the door, he lost his balance and fell face first on the officer's shoes.
"What's your name, son?" the officer asked.
"Spike" the peroxide blonde replied lazily.
"Your real name." The officer said, annoyed. "Not some so called bad-ass nickname."
"William." Said Spike as he cringed.
The officer helped to him lean against the car but when he did this, Spike opened the back seat and dove in headfirst. The officer dragged Spike out by the feet, thinking he was trying to get away. Spike had a large Twinkie in his hand and his mouth full with another one. He was chewing it happily.
The officer looked in to see five more boxes to Twinkies in the back seat.
"Sam, check those boxes for drugs will you? I'm going to check the trunk."
The man holding the camera leaned into he car, showing the audience the contents of the boxes. All of them were full of half eaten Twinkies and their wrappers littered the floor. Sam checked the compartments on the back of the seat and pulled out VHS tape with no label on it and a picture of a girl.
Buffy gasped. "That's me! Oh my God!" she cried, exasperated.
"Hey! Don't touch that!" shouted Spike to the man with the camera. "It's very private."
"It's probably porn." Said the officer. "We should confiscate that." He said pointing to the two objects. "Come here and look at this!" The camera showed the inside of the trunk.
Buffy turned white. "Damn it. Why does Spike keep his weapons in his car?"
The camera showed the rest of the deadly weapons in the trunk. "HEY! THAT'S MINE! I have been looking for that axe FOREVER!" she growled.
Sam picked up an especially large metal axe. There were also daggers, swords, and some wooden stakes.
"Off to kill some vampires are ya?" asked the Sam as he panned the camera to look at Spike. He found Spike sitting next to the shoving multiple Twinkies in his mouth. Spike notice Sam looking at him and just stared at the camera with the Twinkie goo oozing out of his mouth and dribbling down his front.
"OK.," said Sam as he turned back to the other officer. "Check that out." He said to his partner.
The head officer pulled Spike off from the ground and slapped him on the back. A great, big wad of twinkie shot out of his mouth and onto the camera lense.
"I think I'm gonna be sick" said Sam, gaging.
"Get it together will ya Sam? This is all being filmed!" he muttered.
Spike tried to walk over towards his car for more twinkies but tripped, fell, and rolled into the ditch. The camera showed the edge where he fell in; it was silent.
Buffy held her breath.
Just then, they heard a fit of giggling from the drunken vampire. Sam put the camera down so that the viewers to still see the action. The two officers walked over to the ditch and dragged Spike out. He had a silly grin on his face and a dazed look in his eyes. The head officer slapped him again, but this time on his face.
It took all of Spike's self-control to stop from vamping out. Buffy noticed this. "What's he holding back for?" she wondered aloud. "He seems different. Why doesn't he show himself and act all high and mighty like always?"
Spike had pulled himself together and seemed a little bit more coherent. He was told to walk the line, touch his finger to his nose, and recite his ABC's. He could do all that just fine, but then he was asked to recite them backwards.
Spike frowned in frustration. "O.K." he slurred, "Z, Y." There was a pause; Spike rubbed his temples in concentration. "Why won't this sodden' headache go away?!" he screamed at no one in particular. The officer, on the other hand, found another offense.
"Alright man, do you happen to have your papers with you?" the officer inquired.
Spike didn't reply, he was still deep in thought.
"HEY!" the officer yelled.
This set off Spike's extra sensitive vampire-y hearing.
"What the hell do you want?" he groaned as he bent over, clamping his hands to his ears, forgetting that he was being interrogated. "I need to go home." He headed back to the Desoto, but stopped and turned around. "X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O, N, M, L, K, J, I, H, G, F, E, D, E, B, and A! There. Are you fucking satisfied?" he slurred again.
"No, I'm not fucking satisfied!" he yelled right back at him. "I want to see your papers. You were obviously not born in this country. NOW, let me see those papers!"
"Yeah, cause you know I always carry my papers around in my back pocket just in case I get PULLED OVER BY A BLEEDIN' OFFICER AT 2 IN THE MORNING WHEN I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!" Was his remark, dripping with sarcasm.
"Hasn't done anything? You are obviously driving under the influence and when an OFFICER pulls over and offender, the offender usually pulls over to the side of the road!" he practically shrieked with his voice getting louder and higher as he finished.
Spike looked at where they were standing. He was parked the car sideways in the half-lane next to the meridian that separates both sides of the highway.
"Oh, shit" he murmured
"Oh shit is right mister, we are taking you into custody. You have the right to remain silent. Everything can and will be used against you in court." The officer said, rather pleased with himself. Spike was about a foot taller than him, and much more attractive. He felt kind of intimidated, but now he got the better of him. The law was on his side.
Spike just smiled as they pushed his head under the hood of the police car and drove him to the station. A number flashed upon the screen and the announcer's voice could be heard again.
Announcer: If you can any information on this "William." He cleared his throat, or so called "Spike" please call 1-800-WASTED or go to the Sunnydale Police stations downtown on Water Street.
Buffy was already out the door.