Authors Notes, Tigerwolf: Okay, guys. There's another one of my 'Spike
poems' in this chap. It's my first attempt at non rhyming poetry, so
please be gentle. I've been working on it for months. Adding more parts
to it as Ohana went along. I finally finished it last night. So, please,
if you would, tell me what you think?
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Madison frowned at her un-ringing phone. He hadn't called in a few days. She knew his cracked fang hadn't been THAT bad. Bit her lip. Maybe he was still mad at her for taking Buffy's side. Or... having benefits with Trevor. Or maybe he just wasn't calling and she'd have to verbally kick his ass. She huffed and dialed the phone.
Spike jumped slightly, when the pocket of his jeans suddenly vibrated. Buffy was in the shower, and they were the only ones home at the moment. The Wiccas had gone apartment hunting, and Dawn was at Michele's again. Now. What was... Oh. Phone. PHONE! Crap. He'd forgotten Madison. He picked it up on the fifth vibration, and said quietly, sheepishly. "Hello, pet."
"Are you dead?"
A half chuckle. "Yes."
"Shut up. Are you hurt?"
"No." Thought a moment. "Well, a few bruises, some small bite marks, but nothing painful." A grin at the thoughts of just *how* he'd gotten those 'battle scars'.
"Are you mad?"
"Not a bit. Actually, everything's been perfect." A half whimper. "I'm sorry I forgot to call, Madison. I've been... occupied."
She perked up immediately. Good. No angriness. No hurtingness. "Oh. So, how're things with Buffy?"
There was a slightly high pitched sound that *almost* could've been a squeal. "Well, we made up. And, there's something better. A thousand times better. Guess."
"Mmm... Xander spontaneously combusted?"
"Better than that." He wandered down into the basement, so that if Buffy were to exit the shower, he wouldn't bother her. "Try again. It has to do with Buffy. Something that she's recently told me."
"Oh!!!!! She loves you!!!"
He grinned. "How'd you guess?" Flopped on the cot that was still down there, making the springs creak. "And there's more."
"More? There's more to that?"
"You have no idea." He began speaking rather fast, trying to articulate everything that had happened between himself and the Slayer since their declaration. Ending with what she'd told him that very morning. All or nothing.
"Oooh.... That's so sweet. I'm so happy for you."
He sighed, total happiness, and nuzzled his pillow. "I'm living here permanently, now, too. And not in the basement, either." Another sigh. "It's wonderful, Madison. I feel.. I can't even describe it. It's like my heart has just... ballooned up to five times it's normal size, and it still isn't big enough for everything I'm feeling."
Made an appropriate 'aww' noise. "That's so great. I'm glad she finally realized how wonderful you are."
Another sigh, then a chuckle. "Yeah. And she's making me believe it, too. I'm in heaven, Madison."
Satisfied 'hmmph'. "Good. That's what you deserve."
"Another thing that I'm beginning to believe." Suddenly excited. "Ooh! Did I tell you about the Scooby meeting?"
"Yeah! Because we just talked yesterday!" Brightly sarcastic voice.
Sweetly pathetic. "I'm sorry..."
"Yeah yeah... fill me in."
It took the next fifteen minutes, because he did it word for word. Ending up with the wedding invitation surprise. "And I've got it on the nightstand upstairs."
"Awwwww.... How sweet!!!" Then. "You ARE going, right?"
Fidgeted. "Yeah... I'm nervous, though. The last wedding I attended was in 1874. And it was my uncle."
"You'll be fine. Look nice, and mind your manners."
He nodded. "Yeah. I remember that much." Chewed his lower lip. "I've.. uh.. I've been writing again. Something for Buffy. I was working on it off and on for the last month or so. Just finished it this mornin'."
"Ooooooh reallllllllllly?"
Nervous. "Yeah.. Now I've just got to get the nerve up to show it to her."
"Lay it on her pillow tonight."
"You really think that would work?"
"Well, sure. I mean, *I* think it'd be sweet. But of course, Buffy is on a different mental plane than I am, so...."
"No! I like the idea." Licked his lips. "What is it about this that makes my legs not want to make it up the stairs?"
"You're scared she'll hate it. But you'll be wrong. Because she'll love it."
A soft chuckle. "You're right." Half snort. "You're always right."
"No shit? Tell Trevor that."
His turn to be the listener. "Problems with the male of the species, pet?"
"No." Short, precise. Then, "HE'S got a problem."
Chuckle. "What'd he do?"
"He *yelled* at me yesterday." A voice completely flabbergasted he would even dare.
Soft growl.
"Honestly! Everytime I turn around! 'Maddy, you're not eating enough.' 'Maddy, are you sure you should take on another project?' 'Maddy, baby, don't worry...' 'Maddy, damnit! I told you to eat!' Honest to god! Am I six that I need to be told when to eat???"
"Are his worries founded by fact?"
Silence for a moment, then, "No."
"Truth, Madison." Gentle, friendly concern.
"I'm just not hungry."
"You're not tryin' to lose weight, are you? Because you don't need to. You're as thin as a stick."
"A redwood stick. No. I'm not. And... I mean.... then, he- he said-"
"Madison." Sighed. "Okay. What did he say?"
"That... that... well, he thinks he's in love with me." Only slight panic with a side of nervous laughter.
He blinked. Wondered why no protective anger was forthcoming. In fact, he felt... Well, he didn't know yet. "Do you feel anything for him?"
High, unnatural chuckle. "Heh. Of course. I mean... I do. Yes."
"You love him?"
"No. No, Puppy. I'm not.... I'm not doing that. And, I mean, I told him he was crazy and to just shut up, and-"
"And he yelled at you and stormed out. Am I right?"
Quiet, "Yeah....."
He said quietly, "Have you spoken to him since then?"
"Yes." Wobbly bottom lip. "He was so mean to me."
"Madison... He said he loved you, and you told him he was nuts. You told him to shut up." Not disappointed, but... Something. Something she couldn't quite put a finger on. "You broke his heart."
"It wasn't... it wasn't supposed to BE anything, Puppy," she entreated him desperately. "Just... fun. Just fun, and laughing. That's all... I wasn't supposed to- he wasn't supposed to-"
"You and I both know that you don't pick who you fall in love with, Madison." Sympathy. That was the emotion. "I know what you're feeling. You're still hurting from that wanker a few months back, pet. You don't want to open yourself up to having anything like that happen again. I know. I've been there."
"I don't know what to do. Will screamed at me today, too. And Trevor won't leave. He just stays, and we yell at each other. I don't want him to love me."
"You're certain that you feel nothing for him?"
A pitiful, "...no..."
Quiet entreaty. "Los mentirosos van al infierno."
"I don't want to love him. I don't want him to have that over me."
"It isn't a... weapon, pet." Slightly confused.
She smiled coldly. "Sure it isn't."
A sigh. "You're scared. I get that. Buffy loves me now, and I'm still scared. It doesn't go away. If you've been hurt, if you've been broken, the fear of it happening again never leaves. I wish I could tell you something helpful. I wish I could help you like you've helped me, but I don't know what to do, Madison. I'm love's bitch, and I know it. Doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Well, I'm no one's bitch. And he just... just tells me one day, and I'm supposed to adjust?? God, like.... like what was I supposed to do??"
A half chuckle. "Ask Buffy. As far as she's concerned, I just upped and told her one day. And, before that, she thought that I hated her." Snort. "Hell. Before that, *I* thought I hated her."
"And," she ranted, "I ran into him at Knotti's, the like... club-bar thing we have? With Sandra Allen all over him. Slut."
He shook his head. "Wait a minute... Now I'm confused. You *told* him to leave you alone, and you're upset that he did?"
Protesting noise. "I didn't tell him to go screw that little skank. And honestly! He doesn't listen to me for three days, and then he just jumps the first thing available in a tacky, OBVIOUSLY fake leather skirt?"
Spike's only reaction was a small chuckle. He was beginning to see what was going on here.
"What?" It would have been whiny if it hadn't been so upset. "Why are you laughing??"
"You females. You're all the same. You say leave, when you mean stay. Jump, when you really want the guy to sit. It's taken me a century to figure that out. Give this Trevor kid a break. He hasn't had enough time, yet."
"Sandra Allen," she emphasized. "Tacky, fake leather skirt, JUMPING her."
"Mm-hmm. Madison, you don't want him to love you. He's trying to stop. And now you're... What are you doing, anyway?"
"I'm kicking his ass, that's what I'm doing! Bastard. 'I love you,'" she mocked. "'Watch me crawl in this girl's nasty, three-day old panties to prove it.'" He could hear her slamming around the kitchen.
A half chuckle, then a sigh. "You need to sort out what you want, pet. I can't help you with that. But, if this guy is the way you've described him to me, all he's trying to do is get a rise out of you. Which he's apparently succeeded in doing. He's trying to make you realize that you have feelings for him."
"I do! He knew that! But... I don't want to be in love with him." Angrily. "But he sure as hell can't be with someone else."
Spike let out a small laugh. "You don't love him, but he's not allowed to love anyone else? How fair is that?"
"I do so love-" She began to snap at him, then trailed off. "... Oh God."
"And welcome back from DeNile."
"Well, shit. What am I supposed to do now?"
Simply. "Tell him."
"Oh. Lovely plan. Just walk up, and say, 'I love you too, five days and twelve arguments too late?'"
"Apologize first." Chuckled. "You never know, though. I don't suppose I told you *exactly* how Buffy told me the first time, did I?"
"No."
"You'll love this. We were yelling at each other. And I mean *yelling*. I was on the verge of attacking her. When, all of a sudden, this phrase got through to me. And I quote: "That realizing that I LOVE you, you STUPID dumbass", excetera. Needless to say, I kind of froze at that."
She laughed softly. "I think Trevor would just shake me and yell."
"Well, to each their own."
Madison groaned. "God, I'm just as bad as Buffy now. That stings."
He laughed out loud at that.
She sighed. "I'm scared to tell him."
Calmed himself. "Yeah. I know. But, look on the bright side. In my experience, it can only get better after you tell him."
Another sigh. "Why in God's name would he ever think that it was ok to date someone else??"
"Buffy did, too. While we were on break. That's what the yelling that lead up to her blurting it out came from." There was a small, barely noticeable growl in his voice.
"You're kidding me. She actually went out with another guy?" A pause. "Was he cute?"
A growl was the answer. "Wanker. Bloody, prancing lightweight." Mocked the boy. " 'Oh, my parents own the electric company! Come, bow before me.' " Snorted.
Madison persisted. "But was he cute?"
Growled again. "I suppose you'd think so." Grudgingly.
"Mmm... I see. She didn't... kiss him, did she?"
Loud growl. "On the sidewalk." Ground out. "Right outside the bloody house."
"Oh, Puppy... I'm so sorry."
Licked his lips, forcing himself to take deep breaths. "It's alright, now, though. Everything's fine."
"It sure sounds like it." Soothing tone of voice. "Yours now, remember?"
Nodded. "Yeah.. I know. I know." Changed the subject. "Do you really think I should just put the poem on her pillow tonight?"
"Yes. I think that's really sweet and romantic."
Sighed. "I'll do it, then." Cocked his head. "Are you going to try and talk to Trevor?"
"Right after I have a couple margueritas. Calm the nerves." Hoped he'd let her procrastinate.
"Do you have his phone number?" No such luck.
"Yeah...."
"Call him. Apologize. Tell him you have something to say, but that you want to do it in person."
Whimper.
"You can do it, pet. I believe in you."
Small laugh. "All right. Fine. Tell me he'll still love me."
"How could he not? You're beautiful, insightful, and totally amazing. He'd be a fool not to." Total assurance. Like always, he meant what he said with his whole unbeating heart.
Deep breath. "Ok, then. Hang up so I can call quick."
He smiled. "Good girl. Call me back later."
"You betcha."
He hung up, and sat on the bed, knowing that the phone would ring again soon.
Buffy wandered the downstairs, completely confused. It was daylight. Where the hell was he? She was fresh from the shower, and hungry. And he could cook better than her. "Spike?"
He heard Buffy's voice, and quickly put his phone back in his pocket, heading upstairs. Grinned when he saw her in the kitchen. "Hey, luv. Have a good shower?"
"Mmm-hmmm. All nice and non-smelly. What were you doing?"
"Madison called. I didn't want to bother you." A sheepish look.
Short nod. "Oh."
"I don't want to bore you with the details." Moved over to her, stood behind her, and wrapped her in his arms, resting his chin atop her head. "Suffice it to say that she's happy for us."
"Really?"
"Well, yeah. Why does that surprise you, luv?" He was purring softly now.
She shrugged. "Dunno..." Moved closer to him.
He nuzzled at her gently, his hands stroking and playing on her sides. "Hmm. You've only been away from me for... half an hour, and I already missed you. What *am* I going to do when your three days off are over?"
She lifted her eyes to his. "Guess you'll just have to make it up to me when I get home."
He smiled charmingly. "If that's what you want, luv, that's what you'll get." Leaned down and began pressing soft kisses under her ear. "..I love you.."
Her head tilted up. "Love you, too."
Switched from kissing to nibbling, deciding to see if her earlobe had the same effect on her that his did on him.
Small, shuddering breath.
Hmm. Similar effect, anyway. Drew in a deliberate breath, and blew air on it, mimicking something she'd discovered recently.
Goosebumbs raised on her bare arms, and she moved closer still.
He purred loudly, deciding to stick with what he knew worked. A gentle bite, just at the junction of neck and shoulder.
Surprised moan.
Very gently began pressing kisses to the same spot, nuzzling his nose against her neck as he did so, purring loudly. At the same time, one hand found it's way inside her shirt.
She smiled. "Mmm... Snacking, Spike?" One hand slid across the nape of his neck.
He mumbled something unintelligible against the skin of her neck, never pausing his attentions.
"Hmm?"
Pulled back, just long enough to say quietly, "I said that I can't help it. You're addictive." Returned to his ministrations.
She pulled him along behind her as she made her way to the cupboard. "Feed your habit, but grab the Lucky Charms, too."
He chuckled softly, and reached his unoccupied hand to open the cupboard for her.
She took the cereal from his hands, popped a couple in her mouth, and chewed as Spike nipped at her. After a couple more minutes of that, she decided she wasn't as hungry as she was... well... *hungry*.
Meanwhile, Spike had maneuvered the shoulder of her shirt so that he'd have better access to her collarbone. He continued his trail of small licks and bites along that particularly sensitive area.
Buffy fumbled to put the cereal box back, and turned in his arms, slid to sit on the counter. Pulled him close again, tilting her head back, exposing herself to his touch.
He grinned, and playfully backed away. "Want something, Slayer?"
"Just a little something..." She reached for him.
He took a step back, still grinning. "How badly do you want it?" Gave her a mock insulted look. "I resent the word 'little', by the way."
Throaty laugh. "Not little... I want it. Now."
Another step back. "Come and get it, then."
She slid off the counter. Stalked him a step.
He was backing toward the stairs, chuckling softly.
She matched him step for step. Tilted her head back, drew one finger down her throat slowly. "Don't you want it..?"
He licked his lips. "Already had a taste, luv." Grinned ferally. "And I'm feelin' kinda playful right now. So, the question is, how long are you going to follow me?"
"Till I catch you."
He grinned. "That's my Slayer. Come and get the big, scary vampire." Ducked into the living room.
She took chase, following him, tackling him into the chair.
He hit with an 'Oof', and grinned at the Slayer now sitting in his lap. "Hmm. Somehow, I didn't think I'd make it this far. Losin' your edge, luv?", he taunted playfully.
"Just want you all warmed up."
He cocked his head. "No body heat, luv. Sorry." Grinned again. Fun game.
A quick eyebrow arch. "Who was talking about body heat?"
He chuckled softly, one hand again making it's way into her shirt. "You could share yours."
She slid off his lap. "Nah. That's ok."
His jaw almost dropped. Then he grinned and stood up, moving slowly toward her. "If I didn't know better, I'd think we were playing tag, luv."
"Mmm... But I'm really bored now... and you're right... You've already had a taste."
This time, his jaw did drop, and he just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out if she was being serious.
Her mouth was still, her eyes level. "What? Like I couldn't resist you or something?"
He cocked his head, studying her. Was she being serious? Ah. Nope. The corner of her mouth twitched. He took that as a cue to continue the game. Moved close to her, walking around her slowly, predatorially. Much like he had the night that they'd beaten the hell out of each other. One hand stroked gently at her neck as he circled, eyes focused on the arteries just beneath the skin. "You never could before..." That low, silky voice.
She forced herself to not quiver. "That was before. Old games, Spike."
"New game, then." He vamped, and began gently nibbling at her neck.
Closed her eyes, but her stomach twitched slightly. Bored tone. "Oh baby, oh baby."
He pulled back, human face to the fore. "Fine, then." Turned his back on her and walked upstairs. "Hope you find something to do, luv. I'm taking a nap." A moment later, the shirt that he'd been wearing slid down the banister, and she heard her bedroom door close.
She stood, shocked. That was NOT how the game went!! She picked up the shirt, and decided that she had better put it back in the room for fear Dawn would see it, and start spazzing about therapy again. Climbed the stairs slowly.
Spike, meanwhile, was lying on the bed, curled on his side, eyes closed, when she entered the room.
She smiled. So pouty, and insulted. Couldn't he tell she was teasing? She knelt on the bed.
He didn't move, except to pull a blanket over himself a little. Didn't seem to react to her presence.
Oooh. Not even a purr for her. She relaxed in front of him, laying on her side next to him.
A quiet 'humph', was the only reaction. His eyes stayed tightly closed, feigning sleep. Not even breathing.
She leaned in, teased his pouting lips with hers.
A strange sound, like a car engine that couldn't quite turn over.
Both hands wandered his naked torso, and she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, nipping, and licking at it.
Very quiet purr. Ah. The 'engine' turned over. His muscles were tense, and he was obviously trying not to react.
She released his bottom lip, and now her tongue teased the seam of his mouth. Nails scraped down his stomach.
A soft whimper. Knowing that he didn't have a chance if this kept up, he did the only thing he could think of. Rolled over with his back to her. Made a very faked snoring sound.
She settled against his back, one arm wrapping around his side to play at his stomach, and she began biting at his neck.
Ok. That idea was definitely not as brilliant as it seemed before he did it. Still. Had to keep control. Composure. Keep muscles stiff, and eyes closed.
"Mmm... Don't pout..." Licked slowly up the back of his neck, then blew cold air on the tiny trail. "I love you."
That got him. So much for composure. He sagged against her with a soft whimper of defeat. Defensively, "I wasn't pouting."
"No. Never." Kissed down his neck.
Purred louder, pressing back against her. "You ruined my game."
"I was just teasing. You gave up too fast."
"Oh?" He was definitely enjoying what she was doing now, though. Pressing into her hands, purring like a race car.
"Mmm-hmmm..." Her fingers pressed firmly down the ridges of his abs. Sucked at his neck.
A shuddering moan of pleasure at the twin sensations, pressing his head against the pillow to give her better access.
She scraped her teeth back and forth gently, nipping here and there.
There was the edge, and he'd just been pushed over it. Rolled quickly, so that he was facing her, and quickly began nibbling on her neck.
She relaxed onto her back, tilting her head to the side, with an audible moan.
He growled softly. This was the correct reaction. Vamped, then pulled back and looked at her, an unspoken question in his golden eyes.
She stared back into his questioning eyes, and another thing to love blossomed in her mind. Always. Always he asked before he touched her with his fangs. Always made sure that she wanted it, too. So different from Angel. From Riley. From everyone she knew. Her eyes slid shut, and she tilted her head back in absolute trust, and invitation.
Spike watched as she closed her eyes and invited him to bite. The trust she showed him almost scared him at times. But it was one more thing to love about her. That she'd let him do this. Let him show her what it meant to be loved by a vampire. And do it without fear. It humbled him to know that she trusted him this much. That she *loved* him this much. Slowly, purring loudly the whole time, he lowered his fangs to her neck, making small puncture wounds, and just as quickly closing them with gentle licks. His own eyes closed as he did this, and he moved on sensation alone.
She shook on an exhale, her arms sliding around his back, her mouth open in silent entreaty.
He finished his loving nipping, and moved to kiss her, at that point too excited to lose the fangs. An absent part of his mind hoped that she wouldn't nick herself accidentally. Strange, when he realized that she'd just been *letting* him bite her. Well.. Nibble her.
She made a satisfied noise in her throat as his lips met hers, arching slowly against him.
He purred even louder, if that was possible, and gently caught her bottom lip in his sharp teeth, holding without puncturing.
Disjointed thoughts rolled through her mind, through the soft fog of pleasure slowly clouding it. Gentle. So soft.... didn't even make her bleed, when he could tear something apart with those fangs. Beautiful. Soft... hard... gentle... loving... Just... Spike.
He released, and went back to her throat, not even making her bleed this time. Just nipping softly, knowing that she loved it. He was focused on making her happy. On giving her pleasure. On loving her.
He was being so soft... so careful, considerate. She hoped he didn't see how her eyes welled as her fingers wound in his hair, murmuring soft endearments.
She was everything to him. His world. His heart. His... dare he even think it? Yes. She was his *soul*. A vampire wasn't supposed to feel like this. Defective or not. But he felt it. With her. For her. Always for her. Nuzzled up into her hands for a moment, letting her know that he liked that, before returning his attention to her neck and collarbone.
Her tears made slow tracks down her cheeks as she stilled his work at her throat, drew his attention to her. Her hands petted over his face, softly tracing the vamped features.
He looked at her, his still golden eyes showing concern as he noticed her tears. Reached one hand up to gently wipe at them. "Luv... What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
She pressed her lips together, shook her head. Her fingers slid from stroking his high cheekbones to trace around his mouth. "You can't ever leave me," she whispered, as another two tears rolled free.
Cocked his head. "I wouldn't ever, luv. You know that." Gently wiped the new tears away. "Hey, now. What has my Slayer so upset?"
Her bottom lip shook anew at the tender words spilling sweetly through his fangs. "I don't know. So good. Can't last... But I want it to."
A soft growl came from him. "It WILL last, Buffy. I swear to you. I swear on everything that's ever been important to me, that I will never, ever, leave you. *Ever*." Certainty. Vehement certainty. He blinked twice, trying to get rid of the game face.
She nodded, gave him a smile.
He shook it off with a little difficulty. Seeing her upset always made it harder for him to calm down. "I love you, Buffy. With everything I am. I love you."
She nuzzled his cheek. "I love you, too. All of me. But sometimes I wonder... if it'll be enough."
"You have nothing to worry about, Buffy. Nothing." Again with that total certainty. Then, a sudden twinge of nervousness. "I.. uh.. Kind of had something for you. I was going to give it to you tonight, but..." He kind of half shrugged.
"What is it?"
Mumbled something. Sounded like 'a mime'. That had to be wrong, right?
"Mime? Spike, those are so freaky, and are never welcome in our home."
He suddenly started laughing. Hard. Almost to the point that there were tears coming out of his eyes.
She thumped his chest softly. "Tell me."
He calmed himself down, forcibly. Choked out, "Not... 'mime'. Poem." Rolled onto his back, chuckling. "Oh god.. A *mime*?"
She sat up. "Gimme."
The chuckling abruptly stopped when he realized that he'd actually *said* it. "Uh.. I.. uh.."
Oh no. She was a cat, and the pouncing had commenced. "Come on."
He looked... what? Nervous? No. Worse. Scared? "Okay.." Swallowed and rolled onto his side, digging in the drawer of their shared nightstand.
A small smile curved her lips. A poem. For her. He never stopped surprising her.
He fished around, finally coming up with an old, leather bound notebook. One of the few things that they had salvaged from the rubble of his crypt. He turned to the back of the book, leafing through, looking for the right one.
She was peeking non-chalantly, at the dates and topics, and noticed that she, herself, had entries all to herself dating over a year back.
He moved a little, nudging her back out of reading range with an elbow. Finally finding what he was looking for. He licked his lips. Now or never. Handed the book to her quickly, before he could chicken out. "Here. That one." As she read, Spike fiddled with his hands, absently, staring at the sheets.
"Sunlight & Shadow
Couldn't be more different
On the outside.
Always circling, never touching,
Around and around.
But things are the same,
On the inside.
What they want, what they need,
All the same.
Enemies? Allies?
On the outside.
Never clear.
Allies. Lovers. Helpers.
On the inside.
When the wind blows, does it matter?
It's all the same.
An eternal dance, they go together,
On the outside.
Always near, and yet so far,
Until the time comes when,
On the inside,
They finally are one.
The same.
Sunlight.
Shadow.
The dance is eternal.
The meaning so profound.
Only time will tell now,
For they will never stop their dance.
On the outside.
On the inside.
Finally a compromise.
Their lives intertwine as always.
Eternal dance never ceasing.
Changing forms along the way.
A melody sweet as honey,
Now they both can hear.
The time has come at last.
The dancers finally rest.
Sunlight.
Shadow.
On the inside,
On the outside,
Always,
Only,
Both the same.
--- William Edward Winters II (aka: Spike)"
She read slowly, taking every word in, letting them wrap around her mind. Finally, she lifted her head. "Us?"
Quiet, almost shy sounding, "Yeah."
She set the book aside gently, and leaned forward, telling him without words how she liked it.
When she pulled back, he was just kind of staring at her, blue eyes wide, mouth slightly open. "You.. liked it, then?"
Her nose crunched with her smile. "I loved it, then," she teased. Pressed her mouth to his again. "I love being your sunshine."
He let out a happy laugh, and pulled her into his arms, just holding her to him, nuzzling her gently. "God, luv. You don't know how relieved I feel now. My writing's a touchy subject."
"Mm... well, I like it... Aren't you going to show me how glad you are?"
A soft, almost playful growl. "Of course." Smiled at her. "You know I love to play in the sunlight..."
Sorry it's been so long guys. There's been major trauma with me moving, and getting a house to live in together. I apologize, but it could not be avoided. And ladies and gentlemen. It is NOT polite to flame one authors story because ONE chapter hasn't been uploaded from another. You have no idea what caused the delay or anything. You might want to think about WHY something that happens regularly ISN'T happening, and worry before you get mean. Just a thought. Stay tuned, this baby has 32 chappies.
Always. Tequila
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Madison frowned at her un-ringing phone. He hadn't called in a few days. She knew his cracked fang hadn't been THAT bad. Bit her lip. Maybe he was still mad at her for taking Buffy's side. Or... having benefits with Trevor. Or maybe he just wasn't calling and she'd have to verbally kick his ass. She huffed and dialed the phone.
Spike jumped slightly, when the pocket of his jeans suddenly vibrated. Buffy was in the shower, and they were the only ones home at the moment. The Wiccas had gone apartment hunting, and Dawn was at Michele's again. Now. What was... Oh. Phone. PHONE! Crap. He'd forgotten Madison. He picked it up on the fifth vibration, and said quietly, sheepishly. "Hello, pet."
"Are you dead?"
A half chuckle. "Yes."
"Shut up. Are you hurt?"
"No." Thought a moment. "Well, a few bruises, some small bite marks, but nothing painful." A grin at the thoughts of just *how* he'd gotten those 'battle scars'.
"Are you mad?"
"Not a bit. Actually, everything's been perfect." A half whimper. "I'm sorry I forgot to call, Madison. I've been... occupied."
She perked up immediately. Good. No angriness. No hurtingness. "Oh. So, how're things with Buffy?"
There was a slightly high pitched sound that *almost* could've been a squeal. "Well, we made up. And, there's something better. A thousand times better. Guess."
"Mmm... Xander spontaneously combusted?"
"Better than that." He wandered down into the basement, so that if Buffy were to exit the shower, he wouldn't bother her. "Try again. It has to do with Buffy. Something that she's recently told me."
"Oh!!!!! She loves you!!!"
He grinned. "How'd you guess?" Flopped on the cot that was still down there, making the springs creak. "And there's more."
"More? There's more to that?"
"You have no idea." He began speaking rather fast, trying to articulate everything that had happened between himself and the Slayer since their declaration. Ending with what she'd told him that very morning. All or nothing.
"Oooh.... That's so sweet. I'm so happy for you."
He sighed, total happiness, and nuzzled his pillow. "I'm living here permanently, now, too. And not in the basement, either." Another sigh. "It's wonderful, Madison. I feel.. I can't even describe it. It's like my heart has just... ballooned up to five times it's normal size, and it still isn't big enough for everything I'm feeling."
Made an appropriate 'aww' noise. "That's so great. I'm glad she finally realized how wonderful you are."
Another sigh, then a chuckle. "Yeah. And she's making me believe it, too. I'm in heaven, Madison."
Satisfied 'hmmph'. "Good. That's what you deserve."
"Another thing that I'm beginning to believe." Suddenly excited. "Ooh! Did I tell you about the Scooby meeting?"
"Yeah! Because we just talked yesterday!" Brightly sarcastic voice.
Sweetly pathetic. "I'm sorry..."
"Yeah yeah... fill me in."
It took the next fifteen minutes, because he did it word for word. Ending up with the wedding invitation surprise. "And I've got it on the nightstand upstairs."
"Awwwww.... How sweet!!!" Then. "You ARE going, right?"
Fidgeted. "Yeah... I'm nervous, though. The last wedding I attended was in 1874. And it was my uncle."
"You'll be fine. Look nice, and mind your manners."
He nodded. "Yeah. I remember that much." Chewed his lower lip. "I've.. uh.. I've been writing again. Something for Buffy. I was working on it off and on for the last month or so. Just finished it this mornin'."
"Ooooooh reallllllllllly?"
Nervous. "Yeah.. Now I've just got to get the nerve up to show it to her."
"Lay it on her pillow tonight."
"You really think that would work?"
"Well, sure. I mean, *I* think it'd be sweet. But of course, Buffy is on a different mental plane than I am, so...."
"No! I like the idea." Licked his lips. "What is it about this that makes my legs not want to make it up the stairs?"
"You're scared she'll hate it. But you'll be wrong. Because she'll love it."
A soft chuckle. "You're right." Half snort. "You're always right."
"No shit? Tell Trevor that."
His turn to be the listener. "Problems with the male of the species, pet?"
"No." Short, precise. Then, "HE'S got a problem."
Chuckle. "What'd he do?"
"He *yelled* at me yesterday." A voice completely flabbergasted he would even dare.
Soft growl.
"Honestly! Everytime I turn around! 'Maddy, you're not eating enough.' 'Maddy, are you sure you should take on another project?' 'Maddy, baby, don't worry...' 'Maddy, damnit! I told you to eat!' Honest to god! Am I six that I need to be told when to eat???"
"Are his worries founded by fact?"
Silence for a moment, then, "No."
"Truth, Madison." Gentle, friendly concern.
"I'm just not hungry."
"You're not tryin' to lose weight, are you? Because you don't need to. You're as thin as a stick."
"A redwood stick. No. I'm not. And... I mean.... then, he- he said-"
"Madison." Sighed. "Okay. What did he say?"
"That... that... well, he thinks he's in love with me." Only slight panic with a side of nervous laughter.
He blinked. Wondered why no protective anger was forthcoming. In fact, he felt... Well, he didn't know yet. "Do you feel anything for him?"
High, unnatural chuckle. "Heh. Of course. I mean... I do. Yes."
"You love him?"
"No. No, Puppy. I'm not.... I'm not doing that. And, I mean, I told him he was crazy and to just shut up, and-"
"And he yelled at you and stormed out. Am I right?"
Quiet, "Yeah....."
He said quietly, "Have you spoken to him since then?"
"Yes." Wobbly bottom lip. "He was so mean to me."
"Madison... He said he loved you, and you told him he was nuts. You told him to shut up." Not disappointed, but... Something. Something she couldn't quite put a finger on. "You broke his heart."
"It wasn't... it wasn't supposed to BE anything, Puppy," she entreated him desperately. "Just... fun. Just fun, and laughing. That's all... I wasn't supposed to- he wasn't supposed to-"
"You and I both know that you don't pick who you fall in love with, Madison." Sympathy. That was the emotion. "I know what you're feeling. You're still hurting from that wanker a few months back, pet. You don't want to open yourself up to having anything like that happen again. I know. I've been there."
"I don't know what to do. Will screamed at me today, too. And Trevor won't leave. He just stays, and we yell at each other. I don't want him to love me."
"You're certain that you feel nothing for him?"
A pitiful, "...no..."
Quiet entreaty. "Los mentirosos van al infierno."
"I don't want to love him. I don't want him to have that over me."
"It isn't a... weapon, pet." Slightly confused.
She smiled coldly. "Sure it isn't."
A sigh. "You're scared. I get that. Buffy loves me now, and I'm still scared. It doesn't go away. If you've been hurt, if you've been broken, the fear of it happening again never leaves. I wish I could tell you something helpful. I wish I could help you like you've helped me, but I don't know what to do, Madison. I'm love's bitch, and I know it. Doesn't mean I have to like it."
"Well, I'm no one's bitch. And he just... just tells me one day, and I'm supposed to adjust?? God, like.... like what was I supposed to do??"
A half chuckle. "Ask Buffy. As far as she's concerned, I just upped and told her one day. And, before that, she thought that I hated her." Snort. "Hell. Before that, *I* thought I hated her."
"And," she ranted, "I ran into him at Knotti's, the like... club-bar thing we have? With Sandra Allen all over him. Slut."
He shook his head. "Wait a minute... Now I'm confused. You *told* him to leave you alone, and you're upset that he did?"
Protesting noise. "I didn't tell him to go screw that little skank. And honestly! He doesn't listen to me for three days, and then he just jumps the first thing available in a tacky, OBVIOUSLY fake leather skirt?"
Spike's only reaction was a small chuckle. He was beginning to see what was going on here.
"What?" It would have been whiny if it hadn't been so upset. "Why are you laughing??"
"You females. You're all the same. You say leave, when you mean stay. Jump, when you really want the guy to sit. It's taken me a century to figure that out. Give this Trevor kid a break. He hasn't had enough time, yet."
"Sandra Allen," she emphasized. "Tacky, fake leather skirt, JUMPING her."
"Mm-hmm. Madison, you don't want him to love you. He's trying to stop. And now you're... What are you doing, anyway?"
"I'm kicking his ass, that's what I'm doing! Bastard. 'I love you,'" she mocked. "'Watch me crawl in this girl's nasty, three-day old panties to prove it.'" He could hear her slamming around the kitchen.
A half chuckle, then a sigh. "You need to sort out what you want, pet. I can't help you with that. But, if this guy is the way you've described him to me, all he's trying to do is get a rise out of you. Which he's apparently succeeded in doing. He's trying to make you realize that you have feelings for him."
"I do! He knew that! But... I don't want to be in love with him." Angrily. "But he sure as hell can't be with someone else."
Spike let out a small laugh. "You don't love him, but he's not allowed to love anyone else? How fair is that?"
"I do so love-" She began to snap at him, then trailed off. "... Oh God."
"And welcome back from DeNile."
"Well, shit. What am I supposed to do now?"
Simply. "Tell him."
"Oh. Lovely plan. Just walk up, and say, 'I love you too, five days and twelve arguments too late?'"
"Apologize first." Chuckled. "You never know, though. I don't suppose I told you *exactly* how Buffy told me the first time, did I?"
"No."
"You'll love this. We were yelling at each other. And I mean *yelling*. I was on the verge of attacking her. When, all of a sudden, this phrase got through to me. And I quote: "That realizing that I LOVE you, you STUPID dumbass", excetera. Needless to say, I kind of froze at that."
She laughed softly. "I think Trevor would just shake me and yell."
"Well, to each their own."
Madison groaned. "God, I'm just as bad as Buffy now. That stings."
He laughed out loud at that.
She sighed. "I'm scared to tell him."
Calmed himself. "Yeah. I know. But, look on the bright side. In my experience, it can only get better after you tell him."
Another sigh. "Why in God's name would he ever think that it was ok to date someone else??"
"Buffy did, too. While we were on break. That's what the yelling that lead up to her blurting it out came from." There was a small, barely noticeable growl in his voice.
"You're kidding me. She actually went out with another guy?" A pause. "Was he cute?"
A growl was the answer. "Wanker. Bloody, prancing lightweight." Mocked the boy. " 'Oh, my parents own the electric company! Come, bow before me.' " Snorted.
Madison persisted. "But was he cute?"
Growled again. "I suppose you'd think so." Grudgingly.
"Mmm... I see. She didn't... kiss him, did she?"
Loud growl. "On the sidewalk." Ground out. "Right outside the bloody house."
"Oh, Puppy... I'm so sorry."
Licked his lips, forcing himself to take deep breaths. "It's alright, now, though. Everything's fine."
"It sure sounds like it." Soothing tone of voice. "Yours now, remember?"
Nodded. "Yeah.. I know. I know." Changed the subject. "Do you really think I should just put the poem on her pillow tonight?"
"Yes. I think that's really sweet and romantic."
Sighed. "I'll do it, then." Cocked his head. "Are you going to try and talk to Trevor?"
"Right after I have a couple margueritas. Calm the nerves." Hoped he'd let her procrastinate.
"Do you have his phone number?" No such luck.
"Yeah...."
"Call him. Apologize. Tell him you have something to say, but that you want to do it in person."
Whimper.
"You can do it, pet. I believe in you."
Small laugh. "All right. Fine. Tell me he'll still love me."
"How could he not? You're beautiful, insightful, and totally amazing. He'd be a fool not to." Total assurance. Like always, he meant what he said with his whole unbeating heart.
Deep breath. "Ok, then. Hang up so I can call quick."
He smiled. "Good girl. Call me back later."
"You betcha."
He hung up, and sat on the bed, knowing that the phone would ring again soon.
Buffy wandered the downstairs, completely confused. It was daylight. Where the hell was he? She was fresh from the shower, and hungry. And he could cook better than her. "Spike?"
He heard Buffy's voice, and quickly put his phone back in his pocket, heading upstairs. Grinned when he saw her in the kitchen. "Hey, luv. Have a good shower?"
"Mmm-hmmm. All nice and non-smelly. What were you doing?"
"Madison called. I didn't want to bother you." A sheepish look.
Short nod. "Oh."
"I don't want to bore you with the details." Moved over to her, stood behind her, and wrapped her in his arms, resting his chin atop her head. "Suffice it to say that she's happy for us."
"Really?"
"Well, yeah. Why does that surprise you, luv?" He was purring softly now.
She shrugged. "Dunno..." Moved closer to him.
He nuzzled at her gently, his hands stroking and playing on her sides. "Hmm. You've only been away from me for... half an hour, and I already missed you. What *am* I going to do when your three days off are over?"
She lifted her eyes to his. "Guess you'll just have to make it up to me when I get home."
He smiled charmingly. "If that's what you want, luv, that's what you'll get." Leaned down and began pressing soft kisses under her ear. "..I love you.."
Her head tilted up. "Love you, too."
Switched from kissing to nibbling, deciding to see if her earlobe had the same effect on her that his did on him.
Small, shuddering breath.
Hmm. Similar effect, anyway. Drew in a deliberate breath, and blew air on it, mimicking something she'd discovered recently.
Goosebumbs raised on her bare arms, and she moved closer still.
He purred loudly, deciding to stick with what he knew worked. A gentle bite, just at the junction of neck and shoulder.
Surprised moan.
Very gently began pressing kisses to the same spot, nuzzling his nose against her neck as he did so, purring loudly. At the same time, one hand found it's way inside her shirt.
She smiled. "Mmm... Snacking, Spike?" One hand slid across the nape of his neck.
He mumbled something unintelligible against the skin of her neck, never pausing his attentions.
"Hmm?"
Pulled back, just long enough to say quietly, "I said that I can't help it. You're addictive." Returned to his ministrations.
She pulled him along behind her as she made her way to the cupboard. "Feed your habit, but grab the Lucky Charms, too."
He chuckled softly, and reached his unoccupied hand to open the cupboard for her.
She took the cereal from his hands, popped a couple in her mouth, and chewed as Spike nipped at her. After a couple more minutes of that, she decided she wasn't as hungry as she was... well... *hungry*.
Meanwhile, Spike had maneuvered the shoulder of her shirt so that he'd have better access to her collarbone. He continued his trail of small licks and bites along that particularly sensitive area.
Buffy fumbled to put the cereal box back, and turned in his arms, slid to sit on the counter. Pulled him close again, tilting her head back, exposing herself to his touch.
He grinned, and playfully backed away. "Want something, Slayer?"
"Just a little something..." She reached for him.
He took a step back, still grinning. "How badly do you want it?" Gave her a mock insulted look. "I resent the word 'little', by the way."
Throaty laugh. "Not little... I want it. Now."
Another step back. "Come and get it, then."
She slid off the counter. Stalked him a step.
He was backing toward the stairs, chuckling softly.
She matched him step for step. Tilted her head back, drew one finger down her throat slowly. "Don't you want it..?"
He licked his lips. "Already had a taste, luv." Grinned ferally. "And I'm feelin' kinda playful right now. So, the question is, how long are you going to follow me?"
"Till I catch you."
He grinned. "That's my Slayer. Come and get the big, scary vampire." Ducked into the living room.
She took chase, following him, tackling him into the chair.
He hit with an 'Oof', and grinned at the Slayer now sitting in his lap. "Hmm. Somehow, I didn't think I'd make it this far. Losin' your edge, luv?", he taunted playfully.
"Just want you all warmed up."
He cocked his head. "No body heat, luv. Sorry." Grinned again. Fun game.
A quick eyebrow arch. "Who was talking about body heat?"
He chuckled softly, one hand again making it's way into her shirt. "You could share yours."
She slid off his lap. "Nah. That's ok."
His jaw almost dropped. Then he grinned and stood up, moving slowly toward her. "If I didn't know better, I'd think we were playing tag, luv."
"Mmm... But I'm really bored now... and you're right... You've already had a taste."
This time, his jaw did drop, and he just stood there for a moment, trying to figure out if she was being serious.
Her mouth was still, her eyes level. "What? Like I couldn't resist you or something?"
He cocked his head, studying her. Was she being serious? Ah. Nope. The corner of her mouth twitched. He took that as a cue to continue the game. Moved close to her, walking around her slowly, predatorially. Much like he had the night that they'd beaten the hell out of each other. One hand stroked gently at her neck as he circled, eyes focused on the arteries just beneath the skin. "You never could before..." That low, silky voice.
She forced herself to not quiver. "That was before. Old games, Spike."
"New game, then." He vamped, and began gently nibbling at her neck.
Closed her eyes, but her stomach twitched slightly. Bored tone. "Oh baby, oh baby."
He pulled back, human face to the fore. "Fine, then." Turned his back on her and walked upstairs. "Hope you find something to do, luv. I'm taking a nap." A moment later, the shirt that he'd been wearing slid down the banister, and she heard her bedroom door close.
She stood, shocked. That was NOT how the game went!! She picked up the shirt, and decided that she had better put it back in the room for fear Dawn would see it, and start spazzing about therapy again. Climbed the stairs slowly.
Spike, meanwhile, was lying on the bed, curled on his side, eyes closed, when she entered the room.
She smiled. So pouty, and insulted. Couldn't he tell she was teasing? She knelt on the bed.
He didn't move, except to pull a blanket over himself a little. Didn't seem to react to her presence.
Oooh. Not even a purr for her. She relaxed in front of him, laying on her side next to him.
A quiet 'humph', was the only reaction. His eyes stayed tightly closed, feigning sleep. Not even breathing.
She leaned in, teased his pouting lips with hers.
A strange sound, like a car engine that couldn't quite turn over.
Both hands wandered his naked torso, and she sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, nipping, and licking at it.
Very quiet purr. Ah. The 'engine' turned over. His muscles were tense, and he was obviously trying not to react.
She released his bottom lip, and now her tongue teased the seam of his mouth. Nails scraped down his stomach.
A soft whimper. Knowing that he didn't have a chance if this kept up, he did the only thing he could think of. Rolled over with his back to her. Made a very faked snoring sound.
She settled against his back, one arm wrapping around his side to play at his stomach, and she began biting at his neck.
Ok. That idea was definitely not as brilliant as it seemed before he did it. Still. Had to keep control. Composure. Keep muscles stiff, and eyes closed.
"Mmm... Don't pout..." Licked slowly up the back of his neck, then blew cold air on the tiny trail. "I love you."
That got him. So much for composure. He sagged against her with a soft whimper of defeat. Defensively, "I wasn't pouting."
"No. Never." Kissed down his neck.
Purred louder, pressing back against her. "You ruined my game."
"I was just teasing. You gave up too fast."
"Oh?" He was definitely enjoying what she was doing now, though. Pressing into her hands, purring like a race car.
"Mmm-hmmm..." Her fingers pressed firmly down the ridges of his abs. Sucked at his neck.
A shuddering moan of pleasure at the twin sensations, pressing his head against the pillow to give her better access.
She scraped her teeth back and forth gently, nipping here and there.
There was the edge, and he'd just been pushed over it. Rolled quickly, so that he was facing her, and quickly began nibbling on her neck.
She relaxed onto her back, tilting her head to the side, with an audible moan.
He growled softly. This was the correct reaction. Vamped, then pulled back and looked at her, an unspoken question in his golden eyes.
She stared back into his questioning eyes, and another thing to love blossomed in her mind. Always. Always he asked before he touched her with his fangs. Always made sure that she wanted it, too. So different from Angel. From Riley. From everyone she knew. Her eyes slid shut, and she tilted her head back in absolute trust, and invitation.
Spike watched as she closed her eyes and invited him to bite. The trust she showed him almost scared him at times. But it was one more thing to love about her. That she'd let him do this. Let him show her what it meant to be loved by a vampire. And do it without fear. It humbled him to know that she trusted him this much. That she *loved* him this much. Slowly, purring loudly the whole time, he lowered his fangs to her neck, making small puncture wounds, and just as quickly closing them with gentle licks. His own eyes closed as he did this, and he moved on sensation alone.
She shook on an exhale, her arms sliding around his back, her mouth open in silent entreaty.
He finished his loving nipping, and moved to kiss her, at that point too excited to lose the fangs. An absent part of his mind hoped that she wouldn't nick herself accidentally. Strange, when he realized that she'd just been *letting* him bite her. Well.. Nibble her.
She made a satisfied noise in her throat as his lips met hers, arching slowly against him.
He purred even louder, if that was possible, and gently caught her bottom lip in his sharp teeth, holding without puncturing.
Disjointed thoughts rolled through her mind, through the soft fog of pleasure slowly clouding it. Gentle. So soft.... didn't even make her bleed, when he could tear something apart with those fangs. Beautiful. Soft... hard... gentle... loving... Just... Spike.
He released, and went back to her throat, not even making her bleed this time. Just nipping softly, knowing that she loved it. He was focused on making her happy. On giving her pleasure. On loving her.
He was being so soft... so careful, considerate. She hoped he didn't see how her eyes welled as her fingers wound in his hair, murmuring soft endearments.
She was everything to him. His world. His heart. His... dare he even think it? Yes. She was his *soul*. A vampire wasn't supposed to feel like this. Defective or not. But he felt it. With her. For her. Always for her. Nuzzled up into her hands for a moment, letting her know that he liked that, before returning his attention to her neck and collarbone.
Her tears made slow tracks down her cheeks as she stilled his work at her throat, drew his attention to her. Her hands petted over his face, softly tracing the vamped features.
He looked at her, his still golden eyes showing concern as he noticed her tears. Reached one hand up to gently wipe at them. "Luv... What's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
She pressed her lips together, shook her head. Her fingers slid from stroking his high cheekbones to trace around his mouth. "You can't ever leave me," she whispered, as another two tears rolled free.
Cocked his head. "I wouldn't ever, luv. You know that." Gently wiped the new tears away. "Hey, now. What has my Slayer so upset?"
Her bottom lip shook anew at the tender words spilling sweetly through his fangs. "I don't know. So good. Can't last... But I want it to."
A soft growl came from him. "It WILL last, Buffy. I swear to you. I swear on everything that's ever been important to me, that I will never, ever, leave you. *Ever*." Certainty. Vehement certainty. He blinked twice, trying to get rid of the game face.
She nodded, gave him a smile.
He shook it off with a little difficulty. Seeing her upset always made it harder for him to calm down. "I love you, Buffy. With everything I am. I love you."
She nuzzled his cheek. "I love you, too. All of me. But sometimes I wonder... if it'll be enough."
"You have nothing to worry about, Buffy. Nothing." Again with that total certainty. Then, a sudden twinge of nervousness. "I.. uh.. Kind of had something for you. I was going to give it to you tonight, but..." He kind of half shrugged.
"What is it?"
Mumbled something. Sounded like 'a mime'. That had to be wrong, right?
"Mime? Spike, those are so freaky, and are never welcome in our home."
He suddenly started laughing. Hard. Almost to the point that there were tears coming out of his eyes.
She thumped his chest softly. "Tell me."
He calmed himself down, forcibly. Choked out, "Not... 'mime'. Poem." Rolled onto his back, chuckling. "Oh god.. A *mime*?"
She sat up. "Gimme."
The chuckling abruptly stopped when he realized that he'd actually *said* it. "Uh.. I.. uh.."
Oh no. She was a cat, and the pouncing had commenced. "Come on."
He looked... what? Nervous? No. Worse. Scared? "Okay.." Swallowed and rolled onto his side, digging in the drawer of their shared nightstand.
A small smile curved her lips. A poem. For her. He never stopped surprising her.
He fished around, finally coming up with an old, leather bound notebook. One of the few things that they had salvaged from the rubble of his crypt. He turned to the back of the book, leafing through, looking for the right one.
She was peeking non-chalantly, at the dates and topics, and noticed that she, herself, had entries all to herself dating over a year back.
He moved a little, nudging her back out of reading range with an elbow. Finally finding what he was looking for. He licked his lips. Now or never. Handed the book to her quickly, before he could chicken out. "Here. That one." As she read, Spike fiddled with his hands, absently, staring at the sheets.
"Sunlight & Shadow
Couldn't be more different
On the outside.
Always circling, never touching,
Around and around.
But things are the same,
On the inside.
What they want, what they need,
All the same.
Enemies? Allies?
On the outside.
Never clear.
Allies. Lovers. Helpers.
On the inside.
When the wind blows, does it matter?
It's all the same.
An eternal dance, they go together,
On the outside.
Always near, and yet so far,
Until the time comes when,
On the inside,
They finally are one.
The same.
Sunlight.
Shadow.
The dance is eternal.
The meaning so profound.
Only time will tell now,
For they will never stop their dance.
On the outside.
On the inside.
Finally a compromise.
Their lives intertwine as always.
Eternal dance never ceasing.
Changing forms along the way.
A melody sweet as honey,
Now they both can hear.
The time has come at last.
The dancers finally rest.
Sunlight.
Shadow.
On the inside,
On the outside,
Always,
Only,
Both the same.
--- William Edward Winters II (aka: Spike)"
She read slowly, taking every word in, letting them wrap around her mind. Finally, she lifted her head. "Us?"
Quiet, almost shy sounding, "Yeah."
She set the book aside gently, and leaned forward, telling him without words how she liked it.
When she pulled back, he was just kind of staring at her, blue eyes wide, mouth slightly open. "You.. liked it, then?"
Her nose crunched with her smile. "I loved it, then," she teased. Pressed her mouth to his again. "I love being your sunshine."
He let out a happy laugh, and pulled her into his arms, just holding her to him, nuzzling her gently. "God, luv. You don't know how relieved I feel now. My writing's a touchy subject."
"Mm... well, I like it... Aren't you going to show me how glad you are?"
A soft, almost playful growl. "Of course." Smiled at her. "You know I love to play in the sunlight..."
Sorry it's been so long guys. There's been major trauma with me moving, and getting a house to live in together. I apologize, but it could not be avoided. And ladies and gentlemen. It is NOT polite to flame one authors story because ONE chapter hasn't been uploaded from another. You have no idea what caused the delay or anything. You might want to think about WHY something that happens regularly ISN'T happening, and worry before you get mean. Just a thought. Stay tuned, this baby has 32 chappies.
Always. Tequila