Title: Xanadu
Author: dietcokechic
Email: dietcokechic@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Adventure/Angst/Romance
Season: Late 4/early 5. Since Jack and Sam are together this must be an AU story.
If asked I would say this takes place 4 months after Seven Days- The Return Home.
As to what happened in between? I'm working on it!
Notes: I'm afraid all those who think this is going to be a light and fluffy story are
going to be disappointed- it's angsty. Really, REALLY angsty. But fear not, because
my stories (unless you are told otherwise) will always with a scene that will make
you smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2
"We came to this world as young children and were not able to participate in human
mating rituals and acts before we were vanquished. We wish to be educated."
"I'll tell you what I'll do for you boys." Jack O'Neill began taking a step closer to
Sam. "We'll head on back to Earth and send on through a couple issues of Playboy
or something. Maybe a Kinsey book or two. You'll love it, lots of pictures."
The Goa'uld khans were not angry or annoyed with Jack's attempt at flippancy but
neither were they moved by it.
"You will show us." He said pointing at Samantha Carter. "We would like to see how
humans mate. We would like to see a woman."
"Colonel…" Sam said with eyes the size of saucers. They couldn't possibly want to
rape her could they? Was it even possible for these elderly men?
"Sorry. No can do." Jack said with more confidence than he felt. There was no way
in hell he was going to let a snake rape his Sam. None. Unfortunately he hadn't a
clue how he was going to prevent it.
"She is to mate in front of us." Oghul said calmly placing his hands together in front
of him. "Had you arrived 50 years ago we might have attempted to mate with her
ourselves, but alas not only do we not know how, we are afraid our human host
bodies would not survive the attempt. We wish to live as long as possible and can
use the knowledge of human mating to distract us.
Jack couldn't help himself. "That is so SICK."
"We are not able to leave this planet and we are also not allowed to take new bodies
as hosts. We could kill you now, or you can entertain us for a few hours and be free
to go."
A different Goa'uld stepped up beside the leader and continued. "We would prefer
she mate with the younger one with blue eyes but any of you would be acceptable."
Daniel turned bright crimson and stared at his feet. 'Mate' with Sam? Oh no. There
was no way he could do that. None. If the Goa'uld didn't kill him Jack just might.
Sam had to hand it to Jack - he was quick. "Sorry, that just is not possible. See-
Major Carter and Daniel here are relatives. In uh, human cultures relatives are not
allowed to mate." Jack was pretty certain that some cultures still thought it was a
pretty swell idea but he was NOT going to mention that.
"Very well." Oghul said in a resigned voice staring at Sam. "Choose your mate and
begin."
"Now hold on here a second…" Jack began trying to stall for time. This was not
happening. There was no way this was really happening.
"We are quite serious Colonel O'Neill. Major Samantha Carter will mate with one of
you or all of you will perish. We cannot leave this planet and have been given a
virus that will not allow us to leave these bodies even if we could. We wish to be
enlightened on human sexual practices."
For the first time in over 4 months, Samantha Carter broke protocol and did not refer
to her commanding officer by his rank.
"Jack.."
"I'm so open to suggestions Major."
"Begin!" It was such a strange sight to see an elderly Asian man impatiently
demanding to see sex. Jack might have laughed if it wasn't such an absurdly serious
situation.
"I said, BEGIN!" And with that he brought out an old zat weapon and proceeded to
shoot Daniel.
Daniel looked shocked as the electric current tore through his body causing him to
shake spastically before collapsing to the ground.
"Stop!" Sam yelled sinking to the ground beside Daniel. Jack was right next to her
attempting to shield his favorite rock hound from a second shot. One zat blast stuns
but two kills and Jack was NOT going to have anyone die on this mission.
"I will shoot him again Colonel. Begin." Jack looked around the room wildly
searching desperately for a way out of this.
Sam looked up from the still form of her friend. "We'll do it." She said simply
looking Jack in the eye. *What choice do we have?* Jack nodded almost
imperceptibly- what choice indeed.
"You may commence." A different voice requested this time.
"Sorry bud, it doesn't work that way." Jack said grimly standing up. He could see
the arm of one of the Goa'uld come up with another zat gun.
"Hold on! You can just put that thing down right now." Jack said gesturing with his
hands. "We said we'd do it, ok? But there's some things that have to happen first."
"Explain."
"First off, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c here need to leave." There was no way Jack could
do what was 'required' of him with an audience of his friends.
"We will not allow them to return through the Stargate."
"Well, that would be the preferred choice, but just outside of this structure would
work."
The leader nodded. "Very well." He clapped his hands to draw the attention of two
lesser khans who were acting as guards.
Teal'c effortlessly lifted the still unconscious form of Daniel Jackson and turned to
face his commander and friend. "I will make sure DanielJackson is aptly distracted if
he awakes before you and Major Carter finish."
"Uh, thanks Teal'c" Jack said awkwardly. How the heck did he and Carter get into
these situations?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc. Reviews, Reviews! I love em and love all who send me a word or two of
encouragement. Oh! And Khan Oghul was really a Khan in the 13th century. He was
indeed part of the Yuan dynasty—the same dynasty that brought you Kublai Khan
and the infamous pleasure dome. See? That History degree really did pay off!
Author: dietcokechic
Email: dietcokechic@hotmail.com
Rating: PG-13
Category: Adventure/Angst/Romance
Season: Late 4/early 5. Since Jack and Sam are together this must be an AU story.
If asked I would say this takes place 4 months after Seven Days- The Return Home.
As to what happened in between? I'm working on it!
Notes: I'm afraid all those who think this is going to be a light and fluffy story are
going to be disappointed- it's angsty. Really, REALLY angsty. But fear not, because
my stories (unless you are told otherwise) will always with a scene that will make
you smile.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 2
"We came to this world as young children and were not able to participate in human
mating rituals and acts before we were vanquished. We wish to be educated."
"I'll tell you what I'll do for you boys." Jack O'Neill began taking a step closer to
Sam. "We'll head on back to Earth and send on through a couple issues of Playboy
or something. Maybe a Kinsey book or two. You'll love it, lots of pictures."
The Goa'uld khans were not angry or annoyed with Jack's attempt at flippancy but
neither were they moved by it.
"You will show us." He said pointing at Samantha Carter. "We would like to see how
humans mate. We would like to see a woman."
"Colonel…" Sam said with eyes the size of saucers. They couldn't possibly want to
rape her could they? Was it even possible for these elderly men?
"Sorry. No can do." Jack said with more confidence than he felt. There was no way
in hell he was going to let a snake rape his Sam. None. Unfortunately he hadn't a
clue how he was going to prevent it.
"She is to mate in front of us." Oghul said calmly placing his hands together in front
of him. "Had you arrived 50 years ago we might have attempted to mate with her
ourselves, but alas not only do we not know how, we are afraid our human host
bodies would not survive the attempt. We wish to live as long as possible and can
use the knowledge of human mating to distract us.
Jack couldn't help himself. "That is so SICK."
"We are not able to leave this planet and we are also not allowed to take new bodies
as hosts. We could kill you now, or you can entertain us for a few hours and be free
to go."
A different Goa'uld stepped up beside the leader and continued. "We would prefer
she mate with the younger one with blue eyes but any of you would be acceptable."
Daniel turned bright crimson and stared at his feet. 'Mate' with Sam? Oh no. There
was no way he could do that. None. If the Goa'uld didn't kill him Jack just might.
Sam had to hand it to Jack - he was quick. "Sorry, that just is not possible. See-
Major Carter and Daniel here are relatives. In uh, human cultures relatives are not
allowed to mate." Jack was pretty certain that some cultures still thought it was a
pretty swell idea but he was NOT going to mention that.
"Very well." Oghul said in a resigned voice staring at Sam. "Choose your mate and
begin."
"Now hold on here a second…" Jack began trying to stall for time. This was not
happening. There was no way this was really happening.
"We are quite serious Colonel O'Neill. Major Samantha Carter will mate with one of
you or all of you will perish. We cannot leave this planet and have been given a
virus that will not allow us to leave these bodies even if we could. We wish to be
enlightened on human sexual practices."
For the first time in over 4 months, Samantha Carter broke protocol and did not refer
to her commanding officer by his rank.
"Jack.."
"I'm so open to suggestions Major."
"Begin!" It was such a strange sight to see an elderly Asian man impatiently
demanding to see sex. Jack might have laughed if it wasn't such an absurdly serious
situation.
"I said, BEGIN!" And with that he brought out an old zat weapon and proceeded to
shoot Daniel.
Daniel looked shocked as the electric current tore through his body causing him to
shake spastically before collapsing to the ground.
"Stop!" Sam yelled sinking to the ground beside Daniel. Jack was right next to her
attempting to shield his favorite rock hound from a second shot. One zat blast stuns
but two kills and Jack was NOT going to have anyone die on this mission.
"I will shoot him again Colonel. Begin." Jack looked around the room wildly
searching desperately for a way out of this.
Sam looked up from the still form of her friend. "We'll do it." She said simply
looking Jack in the eye. *What choice do we have?* Jack nodded almost
imperceptibly- what choice indeed.
"You may commence." A different voice requested this time.
"Sorry bud, it doesn't work that way." Jack said grimly standing up. He could see
the arm of one of the Goa'uld come up with another zat gun.
"Hold on! You can just put that thing down right now." Jack said gesturing with his
hands. "We said we'd do it, ok? But there's some things that have to happen first."
"Explain."
"First off, Dr. Jackson and Teal'c here need to leave." There was no way Jack could
do what was 'required' of him with an audience of his friends.
"We will not allow them to return through the Stargate."
"Well, that would be the preferred choice, but just outside of this structure would
work."
The leader nodded. "Very well." He clapped his hands to draw the attention of two
lesser khans who were acting as guards.
Teal'c effortlessly lifted the still unconscious form of Daniel Jackson and turned to
face his commander and friend. "I will make sure DanielJackson is aptly distracted if
he awakes before you and Major Carter finish."
"Uh, thanks Teal'c" Jack said awkwardly. How the heck did he and Carter get into
these situations?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc. Reviews, Reviews! I love em and love all who send me a word or two of
encouragement. Oh! And Khan Oghul was really a Khan in the 13th century. He was
indeed part of the Yuan dynasty—the same dynasty that brought you Kublai Khan
and the infamous pleasure dome. See? That History degree really did pay off!