Chapter 15
Jack sat on the rooftop deck silently drinking a beer and staring at the stars. Sam
had quietly headed up to the bedroom after dinner with the intention of reading for a
bit before going to bed. Jack had checked on her a half hour later and she was out
like a light. He hoped whatever meds Janet had given her were good ones. If his
memory served, the little blue ones were quite good. Kept the nightmares at bay as
well.
He took another swig of beer as he heard the telltale noises of Daniel trying to climb
the ladder in the dark. He smiled slightly in the darkness and made a mental note to
stash a pair of night vision goggles in Daniel's bag the next time they went off world.
Quiet was something Daniel was most definitely NOT.
"Daniel." Jack said tipping his beer in his friend's direction as he watched the
darkened form maneuvering up the ladder. Suddenly Jack remembered Daniel's
banged up shoulder and quickly got up out of his chair and ran to help his friend.
"Thanks Jack!" Daniel said breathlessly accepting Jack's offered hand. "You know
they have this wonderful new invention called 'handrails'…."
"Maybe next year." Jack said with a smile. "Danny, what are you doing climbing up
here with only one good arm? Does Doc know where you are?"
"Geeze Jack, you'd think I was 10 years old or something." Daniel said reaching into
his coat pockets and pulling out two cold bottles of beer. Aha! THAT was what was
making so much noise.
"You didn't tell her." Jack said smugly accepting one of the offered beers.
"I snuck out while she was tucking Cassie in."
"Very sneaky Dr. Jackson. Thanks for the beer!" Jack said finishing his current beer
in one last gulp. "I was just thinking about getting another." Popping the bottle
open, Jack motioned for Daniel to take a seat.
"These things safe?" Daniel asked dubiously lowering himself onto the mesh seat.
"They're just lawn chairs Danny."
"FLIMSY lawn chairs." Daniel corrected.
"Sam still sleeping?" He had been on the roof for over an hour and knew his friends
would be checking on her in his absence.
"Out like a light." Daniel said struggling to twist off the cap of his beer. Jack handed
him his beer and efficiently popped the cap off the second one before taking a swig.
"Show off." Daniel muttered taking a sip of his own beer. They sat in comfortable
silence staring at the stars.
"Sam says only about ¼ of the planets we've visited are visible from Earth." Jack
said idly looking up at the dazzling array of stars. Sensing Daniel about to object,
Jack quickly corrected himself. "1/4 of the planet's STARS are visible from Earth.
I'm not a complete idiot y'know." Jack said taking another large swallow of beer.
"Actually Jack, you're one of the smartest guys I know." Daniel said with complete
sincerity.
"Puh-leeze Daniel! I'm the guy who has been known to nod off during a mission
briefing due to my inability to follow what you or Carter are saying!"
"Not THAT kind of smart Jack." Daniel said with a grin. "You find our briefings
boring?"
"Not boring so much as.. well, yes. Sometimes they are mind-numbingly boring.
There. Happy?" Jack took another drink before turning back to Daniel. "Wait! You
just said I was smart."
"Yep." Daniel couldn't help but smile again. "Cass, was telling me about playing
"What Would You Do" scenarios with her class last week. Apparently she let it slip
out that if she were trapped on a desert island she'd want to have SG-1 with her.
She quickly recovered with some silly explanation as to what SG-1 stood for, but that
got me to thinking."
"You? Think? Shocking!"
"ANYWAY, that got me to thinking about possible scenarios and what I might want
with me. Be it a camera that would never break or get ruined when the unexpected
monsoon hits, or boots that would never leak. But each time I thought of some
fantastical contraption, I would of course have to think of the scenario that would
require the need for the said contraption. And that would inevitably bring me back
to some of SG-1's most memorable missions."
"Definitely had a few of those."
"Exactly. And that's when I realized that my answer to the 'What would you bring
with you?' would be nearly the same as Cassie's. So while I would love to have all of
SG-1 with me if ever I got into trouble…"
"You? Trouble?"
Daniel continued without missing a beat. "I'd have to say if there was only one
person I could take with me, it would be you Jack."
"Daniel, that's ridiculous!" Jack said angrily finishing off his beer. "Yeah, I might be
ok at some stuff, but it's Carter that can 'MacGyver' just about anything electrical
and Teal'c's way better at fighting multiples Jaffas. Hell, all I seem to do these days
is get all you guys into trouble." Jack was feeling very sorry for himself at the
moment.
"Bullshit Jack! You are always the one that keeps us alive and clear-headed when
the shit hits the fan. It's always you Jack."
Jack laughed bitterly. "Yep. And it's usually me that gets us into the messes in the
first place."
"Is that what you think happened on '415 Jack?"
**Shit. Jack had almost forgotten why Daniel must have come out here. To talk.
About that damned mission. Shit.**
"Yes Daniel I do." Jack said very slowly looking at his friend with deadly serious
eyes.
Daniel sighed audibly and set down his beer. "Jack, what could you have possibly
done different?"
"Turned around as soon as Teal'c and Carter mentioned feeling 'off'."
"That wasn't a good enough reason to scrub a mission and you know it. So I'm
asking you Jack, what could you have possibly done different?"
"We shouldn't have been captured so easily."
"Jack, we must have entered at least 50 temples EXACTLY like we did last week. 9
times out of 10 it works just fine. Teal'c's there to fend off any bad guys coming at
us from the outside and you and Sam surround me like a pack of mamma wolves,
ready to shoot anything that moves. This is what we do and this is what works."
"It didn't work last week, now did it Danny?
"No it didn't Jack. But thinking it was your fault is ridiculous. Because it wasn't.
They literally came at us through the walls! It was completely unexpected and it's
NOT YOUR FAULT!
"Are you finished?" Jack asked in a dangerously low voice.
"Probably not." Daniel said in a resigned voice. "But go ahead and rebut."
Jack stood up abruptly and began pacing around the small roof. "I am a Colonel in
the United States Air force and the Commanding Officer of SG-1, Daniel. This is who
I am and what I do. I am TRAINED to handle the unexpected and it is my JOB to
make sure nothing bad happens to those under me. Daniel, It IS my responsibility
when the shit hits the fan." Jack stopped pacing and stared out onto the darkened
forest. "It is my fault Sam is so traumatized." His voice was barely above a whisper
and filled with self-loathing.
Daniel stood up and walked over to his friend, desperately wanting to give him a
hug, but knowing Jack wouldn't. He took another step closer to Jack and reached
out his arm to give his friend a gently squeeze on the shoulder.
"Whether you believe it or not Jack, it wasn't your fault. From what I was told, you
actually saved my life. The decision you and Sam made- well it probably saved all
our lives. I sincerely doubt they would have let us go had you not agreed. Most
likely they would have kept Sam for a little while, but the rest of us were definitely
expendable. And as horrible as it must have been for Sam, she at least had you
there." Jack stiffened noticeably at Daniel's last words.
"Yes Jack, your being there definitely helped Sam and this is something you have
just got to believe. Can you imagine how much worse it would have been had she
been…" Daniel licked his lips and tried to swallow the dryness in his mouth. "How
much worse it would have been had she been forced to be with me or Teal'c?"
Daniel laughed self-depreciatively without humor. "Hell Jack, you would have two
very screwed up members of your team to deal with. Three, if we counted you. And
most likely you would have been just as messed up as me or Sam."
"Jack, no one is saying that what happened to you and Sam wasn't an utterly
horrible, humiliating experience. But all of us made it home and given time, all of us
are going to be fine. We've been through worse Jack, and you know it."
"Sam hasn't." Jack whispered.
"Yes Jack, Sam has." Jack whipped his head around faster than Daniel could have
thought possible.
"Explain." There was that deadly black ops stare again. Scary thing, really.
"I guarantee that if you were to ask Sam to list some of her worst memories
associated with the Stargate program, the things that really affected her in the most
detrimental way- she'd list things like the sitting helplessly back at the SGC while
you and Teal'c were trapped in that glider and running out of air, or one of my
*many* supposed deaths. Or maybe those horrible three months while you were on
Edora. THESE are what Sam fears.
I'm not saying that being sexually assaulted by Goa'ulds is ever going to be an easy
memory for Sam. But she is a hell of a lot stronger than this Jack, and she will get
over it." Both men stood staring out over the edge of the roof for several long
moments.
Jack shook his head slightly as he turned around to face his friend. "When did you
get to be so smart Daniel?"
"I learned from the best Jack." Daniel said with a soft smile. "I learned from the
best."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After helping Daniel back down the ladder and promising he would head back inside
soon, Jack surreptitiously grabbed himself another beer and headed back up to the
deck. He still had a spot of thinking to do.
Logically he knew that Daniel was right. Well, mostly right. But he also knew that
he WAS ultimately responsible for Sam's condition. A condition he really needed to
know more about if he was going to try and help her.
Jack heard the sound of a woman's soft swearing and looked down to see on Dr.
Janet Fraiser climbing up the ladder. **A regular Grand Central tonight.**
"Handrails would be nice Colonel." Janet said as she climbed over the last step.
"So I hear. What brings you up to my neck of the woods Doc?"
"Just wanted to see the stars Sir."
"Ah-ah-ah! No ranks, remember? Cut the Sir Doc."
"Habit." Janet said succinctly popping off the top of a beer she had brought with her.
Seeing Jack's fallen face, she reached into her coat pocket and with a flourish pulled
out another one.
"Sweet!" Jack said happily accepting the gift. "A guy could get used to this."
Together they sat down in Jack's rooftop lawn chairs and looked out onto the night
sky.
"Sam?" Jack asked not needing to explain what he meant.
"Still sleeping peacefully. She should be out cold until morning."
"Did ya give her the blue ones?" Janet looked at him curiously. "Yes I did actually.
Why?"
"Good for keeping the nightmares away." Jack said simply. Janet nodded her head.
Yes, that was indeed a side effect of the narcotic.
Jack took another large swallow of his beer and let out a sigh. "Janet, I know all
about doctor-patient confidentiality but can you at least tell me if Sam is going to be
ok?"
"She's going to be ok Jack." Janet said gently giving Jack's free hand a light
squeeze.
"She's not pregnant is she?" Jack asked very quickly in a rush of words. Janet
laughed. Had this been on Jack's mind all this time? Mentally Janet clicked off the
symptoms Sam had been exhibiting this last week. Nassau, emotional outbursts—no
wonder the Colonel had been concerned!
"No Jack, Sam is most definitely not pregnant. My god, even if it wasn't required for
all women serving on SG teams to be on birth control, I would have made certain
Sam was taking something as soon as you both got together! Judging from the
number of UTI's Sam has had in the last couple of months, the two of you are still
trying to make up for lost time."
Although Jack O'Neill seldom blushed, he was very grateful for the cover of darkness.
He had been worried the first time Sam had gotten a urinary tract infection and had
felt rather abashed when told it was due the two of them having sex so frequently.
Not that it seemed to faze Sam much. She viewed off-world missions as a chance to
take some antibiotics and conserve her strength. She had used those exact words.
Conserve Her Strength. Causing Jack to re-evaluate many of his previous
misconceptions about Sam. He had always imagined her as the gentle lover, (which
of course she could be) but hardly ever as the little nymphomaniac that she loved to
play. Yeah, he and Carter did indeed like playing in the bedroom. And the living
room. And the..
He shook his head in an attempt to dispel the (pleasant) images. Sam was still
dealing with the events of P2X-415 and his fantasies weren't helping matters.
"Not pregnant then? Well that's good. I guess." Jack took another sip of his beer.
"So what happened upstairs Janet?"
"Now we're approaching the thorny Doctor/Patient confidentially issue Colonel."
Janet said shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Let's just say that I sorta forced Sam
to face something and she initially didn't like the idea." Seeing Jack frown, Janet
quickly continued.
"I honestly think Sam is going to come through this ok Jack. I really do. What I
need to know as both your friend and doctor is if YOU are."
"Me?" Jack said angrily. "What are you talking about Doc? I'm not the one barfing
up a lung every time someone mentions Chinese food."
"Colonel," Janet held up her hand to prevent Jack from correcting her. "Colonel, I
know you feel responsible for all the accidents that occur under your command off
world. You wouldn't be a good solider and commanding officer if you didn't. BUT
you shouldn't wallow in this guilt you have."
"I do not wallow." Jack replied petulantly.
"Ask yourself what you would have said to Daniel if he had to go through what you
did," Janet held up a hand to prevent Jack from interrupting. "If Daniel had to do
what you did on '415 with another woman. Not Sam Jack, but a different woman, a
woman that you yourself only considered a valued member of the team. Obviously
Daniel would have done whatever needed to be done to save his team. And knowing
the way our SG teams operate, this mystery woman would have felt exactly the
same way. They would have done what was required of them and headed on home.
And Daniel would be the one feeling incredibly guilty for 'forcing' himself on his
teammate. Perhaps on a woman he considered his friend. What would you have
told him Jack?"
Jack sat in silence. He had actually never considered this particular scenario. Most
of the times he would get stuck at the notion of Sam with Daniel and feel sick
himself.
"Colonel? What would you have said to Daniel?"
In a paper-dry voice Jack finally answered. "That it wasn't his fault and he had
nothing to feel guilty about. He had saved the team."
"Counsel thyself Colonel." Janet said exhaling deeply and standing up. "The sex was
consensual Jack, I do NOT want you thinking in terms of rape ok?"
"It felt like rape Janet." Jack said gripping his bottle of beer tightly.
"But it wasn't. And at some point you need to talk to Sam about this. You are
blaming yourself, and Sam is blaming the Goa'ulds. Sam's viewpoint is actually the
more healthier, Sir. You both have some rotten memories of '415. As a Doctor, I
recommend making new memories as soon as possible.
"But what if I hurt her again?" Jack asked staring up at the diminutive doctor.
"YOU never hurt her Jack. Remember that. Accept that. And just love Sam in the
best way you know how Sir."
Jack sighed and stood up himself. "Why is it that I can get everyone else to drop the
rank thing except you?"
"Because while I may be able to drop the Major part of my title, I will always be your
Doctor Jack. And acting as that doctor, I can call you whatever the hell I want."
Seeing Jack's eyebrows rise in a perfect Teal's impression, Janet quickly added on an
official "Sir." One beer and Janet was mouthing off to a superior officer. Luckily it
was the one superior officer who couldn't really give a damn.
"Goodnight Doctor." Jack said formally as he began descending the ladder. Enough talk!
Jack wanted nothing more right now than to curl up next to the woman he loved and sleep.
"Pleasant dreams Sir."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
tbc. There! Let me know if my version of Jack angst worked.
Jack sat on the rooftop deck silently drinking a beer and staring at the stars. Sam
had quietly headed up to the bedroom after dinner with the intention of reading for a
bit before going to bed. Jack had checked on her a half hour later and she was out
like a light. He hoped whatever meds Janet had given her were good ones. If his
memory served, the little blue ones were quite good. Kept the nightmares at bay as
well.
He took another swig of beer as he heard the telltale noises of Daniel trying to climb
the ladder in the dark. He smiled slightly in the darkness and made a mental note to
stash a pair of night vision goggles in Daniel's bag the next time they went off world.
Quiet was something Daniel was most definitely NOT.
"Daniel." Jack said tipping his beer in his friend's direction as he watched the
darkened form maneuvering up the ladder. Suddenly Jack remembered Daniel's
banged up shoulder and quickly got up out of his chair and ran to help his friend.
"Thanks Jack!" Daniel said breathlessly accepting Jack's offered hand. "You know
they have this wonderful new invention called 'handrails'…."
"Maybe next year." Jack said with a smile. "Danny, what are you doing climbing up
here with only one good arm? Does Doc know where you are?"
"Geeze Jack, you'd think I was 10 years old or something." Daniel said reaching into
his coat pockets and pulling out two cold bottles of beer. Aha! THAT was what was
making so much noise.
"You didn't tell her." Jack said smugly accepting one of the offered beers.
"I snuck out while she was tucking Cassie in."
"Very sneaky Dr. Jackson. Thanks for the beer!" Jack said finishing his current beer
in one last gulp. "I was just thinking about getting another." Popping the bottle
open, Jack motioned for Daniel to take a seat.
"These things safe?" Daniel asked dubiously lowering himself onto the mesh seat.
"They're just lawn chairs Danny."
"FLIMSY lawn chairs." Daniel corrected.
"Sam still sleeping?" He had been on the roof for over an hour and knew his friends
would be checking on her in his absence.
"Out like a light." Daniel said struggling to twist off the cap of his beer. Jack handed
him his beer and efficiently popped the cap off the second one before taking a swig.
"Show off." Daniel muttered taking a sip of his own beer. They sat in comfortable
silence staring at the stars.
"Sam says only about ¼ of the planets we've visited are visible from Earth." Jack
said idly looking up at the dazzling array of stars. Sensing Daniel about to object,
Jack quickly corrected himself. "1/4 of the planet's STARS are visible from Earth.
I'm not a complete idiot y'know." Jack said taking another large swallow of beer.
"Actually Jack, you're one of the smartest guys I know." Daniel said with complete
sincerity.
"Puh-leeze Daniel! I'm the guy who has been known to nod off during a mission
briefing due to my inability to follow what you or Carter are saying!"
"Not THAT kind of smart Jack." Daniel said with a grin. "You find our briefings
boring?"
"Not boring so much as.. well, yes. Sometimes they are mind-numbingly boring.
There. Happy?" Jack took another drink before turning back to Daniel. "Wait! You
just said I was smart."
"Yep." Daniel couldn't help but smile again. "Cass, was telling me about playing
"What Would You Do" scenarios with her class last week. Apparently she let it slip
out that if she were trapped on a desert island she'd want to have SG-1 with her.
She quickly recovered with some silly explanation as to what SG-1 stood for, but that
got me to thinking."
"You? Think? Shocking!"
"ANYWAY, that got me to thinking about possible scenarios and what I might want
with me. Be it a camera that would never break or get ruined when the unexpected
monsoon hits, or boots that would never leak. But each time I thought of some
fantastical contraption, I would of course have to think of the scenario that would
require the need for the said contraption. And that would inevitably bring me back
to some of SG-1's most memorable missions."
"Definitely had a few of those."
"Exactly. And that's when I realized that my answer to the 'What would you bring
with you?' would be nearly the same as Cassie's. So while I would love to have all of
SG-1 with me if ever I got into trouble…"
"You? Trouble?"
Daniel continued without missing a beat. "I'd have to say if there was only one
person I could take with me, it would be you Jack."
"Daniel, that's ridiculous!" Jack said angrily finishing off his beer. "Yeah, I might be
ok at some stuff, but it's Carter that can 'MacGyver' just about anything electrical
and Teal'c's way better at fighting multiples Jaffas. Hell, all I seem to do these days
is get all you guys into trouble." Jack was feeling very sorry for himself at the
moment.
"Bullshit Jack! You are always the one that keeps us alive and clear-headed when
the shit hits the fan. It's always you Jack."
Jack laughed bitterly. "Yep. And it's usually me that gets us into the messes in the
first place."
"Is that what you think happened on '415 Jack?"
**Shit. Jack had almost forgotten why Daniel must have come out here. To talk.
About that damned mission. Shit.**
"Yes Daniel I do." Jack said very slowly looking at his friend with deadly serious
eyes.
Daniel sighed audibly and set down his beer. "Jack, what could you have possibly
done different?"
"Turned around as soon as Teal'c and Carter mentioned feeling 'off'."
"That wasn't a good enough reason to scrub a mission and you know it. So I'm
asking you Jack, what could you have possibly done different?"
"We shouldn't have been captured so easily."
"Jack, we must have entered at least 50 temples EXACTLY like we did last week. 9
times out of 10 it works just fine. Teal'c's there to fend off any bad guys coming at
us from the outside and you and Sam surround me like a pack of mamma wolves,
ready to shoot anything that moves. This is what we do and this is what works."
"It didn't work last week, now did it Danny?
"No it didn't Jack. But thinking it was your fault is ridiculous. Because it wasn't.
They literally came at us through the walls! It was completely unexpected and it's
NOT YOUR FAULT!
"Are you finished?" Jack asked in a dangerously low voice.
"Probably not." Daniel said in a resigned voice. "But go ahead and rebut."
Jack stood up abruptly and began pacing around the small roof. "I am a Colonel in
the United States Air force and the Commanding Officer of SG-1, Daniel. This is who
I am and what I do. I am TRAINED to handle the unexpected and it is my JOB to
make sure nothing bad happens to those under me. Daniel, It IS my responsibility
when the shit hits the fan." Jack stopped pacing and stared out onto the darkened
forest. "It is my fault Sam is so traumatized." His voice was barely above a whisper
and filled with self-loathing.
Daniel stood up and walked over to his friend, desperately wanting to give him a
hug, but knowing Jack wouldn't. He took another step closer to Jack and reached
out his arm to give his friend a gently squeeze on the shoulder.
"Whether you believe it or not Jack, it wasn't your fault. From what I was told, you
actually saved my life. The decision you and Sam made- well it probably saved all
our lives. I sincerely doubt they would have let us go had you not agreed. Most
likely they would have kept Sam for a little while, but the rest of us were definitely
expendable. And as horrible as it must have been for Sam, she at least had you
there." Jack stiffened noticeably at Daniel's last words.
"Yes Jack, your being there definitely helped Sam and this is something you have
just got to believe. Can you imagine how much worse it would have been had she
been…" Daniel licked his lips and tried to swallow the dryness in his mouth. "How
much worse it would have been had she been forced to be with me or Teal'c?"
Daniel laughed self-depreciatively without humor. "Hell Jack, you would have two
very screwed up members of your team to deal with. Three, if we counted you. And
most likely you would have been just as messed up as me or Sam."
"Jack, no one is saying that what happened to you and Sam wasn't an utterly
horrible, humiliating experience. But all of us made it home and given time, all of us
are going to be fine. We've been through worse Jack, and you know it."
"Sam hasn't." Jack whispered.
"Yes Jack, Sam has." Jack whipped his head around faster than Daniel could have
thought possible.
"Explain." There was that deadly black ops stare again. Scary thing, really.
"I guarantee that if you were to ask Sam to list some of her worst memories
associated with the Stargate program, the things that really affected her in the most
detrimental way- she'd list things like the sitting helplessly back at the SGC while
you and Teal'c were trapped in that glider and running out of air, or one of my
*many* supposed deaths. Or maybe those horrible three months while you were on
Edora. THESE are what Sam fears.
I'm not saying that being sexually assaulted by Goa'ulds is ever going to be an easy
memory for Sam. But she is a hell of a lot stronger than this Jack, and she will get
over it." Both men stood staring out over the edge of the roof for several long
moments.
Jack shook his head slightly as he turned around to face his friend. "When did you
get to be so smart Daniel?"
"I learned from the best Jack." Daniel said with a soft smile. "I learned from the
best."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After helping Daniel back down the ladder and promising he would head back inside
soon, Jack surreptitiously grabbed himself another beer and headed back up to the
deck. He still had a spot of thinking to do.
Logically he knew that Daniel was right. Well, mostly right. But he also knew that
he WAS ultimately responsible for Sam's condition. A condition he really needed to
know more about if he was going to try and help her.
Jack heard the sound of a woman's soft swearing and looked down to see on Dr.
Janet Fraiser climbing up the ladder. **A regular Grand Central tonight.**
"Handrails would be nice Colonel." Janet said as she climbed over the last step.
"So I hear. What brings you up to my neck of the woods Doc?"
"Just wanted to see the stars Sir."
"Ah-ah-ah! No ranks, remember? Cut the Sir Doc."
"Habit." Janet said succinctly popping off the top of a beer she had brought with her.
Seeing Jack's fallen face, she reached into her coat pocket and with a flourish pulled
out another one.
"Sweet!" Jack said happily accepting the gift. "A guy could get used to this."
Together they sat down in Jack's rooftop lawn chairs and looked out onto the night
sky.
"Sam?" Jack asked not needing to explain what he meant.
"Still sleeping peacefully. She should be out cold until morning."
"Did ya give her the blue ones?" Janet looked at him curiously. "Yes I did actually.
Why?"
"Good for keeping the nightmares away." Jack said simply. Janet nodded her head.
Yes, that was indeed a side effect of the narcotic.
Jack took another large swallow of his beer and let out a sigh. "Janet, I know all
about doctor-patient confidentiality but can you at least tell me if Sam is going to be
ok?"
"She's going to be ok Jack." Janet said gently giving Jack's free hand a light
squeeze.
"She's not pregnant is she?" Jack asked very quickly in a rush of words. Janet
laughed. Had this been on Jack's mind all this time? Mentally Janet clicked off the
symptoms Sam had been exhibiting this last week. Nassau, emotional outbursts—no
wonder the Colonel had been concerned!
"No Jack, Sam is most definitely not pregnant. My god, even if it wasn't required for
all women serving on SG teams to be on birth control, I would have made certain
Sam was taking something as soon as you both got together! Judging from the
number of UTI's Sam has had in the last couple of months, the two of you are still
trying to make up for lost time."
Although Jack O'Neill seldom blushed, he was very grateful for the cover of darkness.
He had been worried the first time Sam had gotten a urinary tract infection and had
felt rather abashed when told it was due the two of them having sex so frequently.
Not that it seemed to faze Sam much. She viewed off-world missions as a chance to
take some antibiotics and conserve her strength. She had used those exact words.
Conserve Her Strength. Causing Jack to re-evaluate many of his previous
misconceptions about Sam. He had always imagined her as the gentle lover, (which
of course she could be) but hardly ever as the little nymphomaniac that she loved to
play. Yeah, he and Carter did indeed like playing in the bedroom. And the living
room. And the..
He shook his head in an attempt to dispel the (pleasant) images. Sam was still
dealing with the events of P2X-415 and his fantasies weren't helping matters.
"Not pregnant then? Well that's good. I guess." Jack took another sip of his beer.
"So what happened upstairs Janet?"
"Now we're approaching the thorny Doctor/Patient confidentially issue Colonel."
Janet said shifting uncomfortably in her chair. "Let's just say that I sorta forced Sam
to face something and she initially didn't like the idea." Seeing Jack frown, Janet
quickly continued.
"I honestly think Sam is going to come through this ok Jack. I really do. What I
need to know as both your friend and doctor is if YOU are."
"Me?" Jack said angrily. "What are you talking about Doc? I'm not the one barfing
up a lung every time someone mentions Chinese food."
"Colonel," Janet held up her hand to prevent Jack from correcting her. "Colonel, I
know you feel responsible for all the accidents that occur under your command off
world. You wouldn't be a good solider and commanding officer if you didn't. BUT
you shouldn't wallow in this guilt you have."
"I do not wallow." Jack replied petulantly.
"Ask yourself what you would have said to Daniel if he had to go through what you
did," Janet held up a hand to prevent Jack from interrupting. "If Daniel had to do
what you did on '415 with another woman. Not Sam Jack, but a different woman, a
woman that you yourself only considered a valued member of the team. Obviously
Daniel would have done whatever needed to be done to save his team. And knowing
the way our SG teams operate, this mystery woman would have felt exactly the
same way. They would have done what was required of them and headed on home.
And Daniel would be the one feeling incredibly guilty for 'forcing' himself on his
teammate. Perhaps on a woman he considered his friend. What would you have
told him Jack?"
Jack sat in silence. He had actually never considered this particular scenario. Most
of the times he would get stuck at the notion of Sam with Daniel and feel sick
himself.
"Colonel? What would you have said to Daniel?"
In a paper-dry voice Jack finally answered. "That it wasn't his fault and he had
nothing to feel guilty about. He had saved the team."
"Counsel thyself Colonel." Janet said exhaling deeply and standing up. "The sex was
consensual Jack, I do NOT want you thinking in terms of rape ok?"
"It felt like rape Janet." Jack said gripping his bottle of beer tightly.
"But it wasn't. And at some point you need to talk to Sam about this. You are
blaming yourself, and Sam is blaming the Goa'ulds. Sam's viewpoint is actually the
more healthier, Sir. You both have some rotten memories of '415. As a Doctor, I
recommend making new memories as soon as possible.
"But what if I hurt her again?" Jack asked staring up at the diminutive doctor.
"YOU never hurt her Jack. Remember that. Accept that. And just love Sam in the
best way you know how Sir."
Jack sighed and stood up himself. "Why is it that I can get everyone else to drop the
rank thing except you?"
"Because while I may be able to drop the Major part of my title, I will always be your
Doctor Jack. And acting as that doctor, I can call you whatever the hell I want."
Seeing Jack's eyebrows rise in a perfect Teal's impression, Janet quickly added on an
official "Sir." One beer and Janet was mouthing off to a superior officer. Luckily it
was the one superior officer who couldn't really give a damn.
"Goodnight Doctor." Jack said formally as he began descending the ladder. Enough talk!
Jack wanted nothing more right now than to curl up next to the woman he loved and sleep.
"Pleasant dreams Sir."
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tbc. There! Let me know if my version of Jack angst worked.