This is probably not a completely original idea, but I hope everyone enjoys this. There's no real violence in this chapter (that comes later ^-^;;) and if you're wondering, the title basically means 'Just Myself.'

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon does NOT belong to me! SERIOUSLY!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Hitori Dake by Crystal Rose

~ Session 1 ~


Run

The word pounded through her head in time with her throbbing heart as she ran down the dark streets of Tokyo. The sidewalk lights illuminated her tear-stricken face in flashes of light as she continued to run recklessly. Long hair whipped about behind her in a wild frenzy of gold, the delicate locks having fallen out of their customary style. Her heart-wrenching sobs could heard for miles away.

Run

Her legs were numb. The only thing telling her she was still alive was the sickening feel of blisters rupturing on her feet as she continued to run down the rain-soaked streets. Rain. It was raining, she realized somewhere in the back of her mind. Someone once said that rain purifies; washes away all your worries. Pain, sorrow, guilt... Why couldn't she be rid of them?

Run

She tripped upon the hem of her skirt, sending her sprawling in the streets, the rain pouring down on her as she broke down and sobbed. Laying down, surrounded by her own misery, she closed her eyes, as if shutting out the world and all the pain it brought. From somewhere in the distance, the sound of thunder reached her ears.

Run


What was she running from? It had been so long since she could remember...the absolute fear she felt at the slightest mention of... him. What was she running from... who was she running from?

Serena...

A tiny voice whispered in her head. She clutched at her ears to block out the horrible word. A shriek of denial pierced the air, the sound of intense hatred mixing with undeniable fear, a tormented soul. It was coming from her.

Where?

Her voice was hoarse from screaming when she finally stopped. She shivered in the unforgiving cold of the rain, her lips blue as her teeth chattered.

Where's Sammy?

The tiny voice spoke once more. She hugged herself miserably.

"I don't know. I don't know," She whispered over and over like a mantra.

Liar

The voice snarled. She broke out into sobs once more, a feeling of self-loathing washing over her. She could remember it all as clearly as if it were yesterday. It had been just before valentine's day, his birthday...


* * * * * * * * * Flashback * * * * * * * * *


"Sammy!" Serena ran downstairs in a hurry, hoping to catch her brother before he left for baseball practice.

"Whaddaya want, meatballhead?"

Standing beside the counter, he stood in his baseball jersey, glove in one hand. The morning sunlight shined down on his dusty blond hair, creating a golden halo. He hastily put on his baseball cap as his bright green eyes narrowed in annoyance.

"Well?"

"Jeez, Sammy! Have a bit of patience. I am your older sister, you know. The least you could do is show a bit of respect." She wagged her finger at him disapprovingly. He snorted indignantly.

"Why would anyone do that?" She sighed.

"Forget it. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you to meet me today after practice at the edge of the woods."

"Oh, that. What for?" She smiled and crossed her arms hautily.

"I already told you. It's a secret!"

"Whatever," He rolled his eyes as he turned towards the front door. "Gotta go! Bye!!" Waving, he disappeared out the door in a flash of color.

Serena sighed. Tomorrow was Sammy's birthday and today she had set up a special scavenger hunt for him. It was going to be so much fun watching her little brother stumble through the woods, searching for his birthday present. Walking over towards the dining table, she sat down quietly, eating her eggs and bacon as she thought about it. Her mother walked in.

"Serena," She chastised, "Get your elbows off the table and sit straight when you're eating."

"Yes mother," She replied without thought before sitting up in her chair.

When she was finished, she ran up the stairs, only too happy to escape her mother's scrutiny. Her mother sighed, running a hand through her long, wavy hair, the purple locks tumbling down past her back.

"That Serena," She shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with her."

Meanwhile, Serena was hurriedly preparing to meet Sammy with only an hour's time left. She had yet to wash her hair and get dressed. She sighed.

"Better get a move on."

Half an hour later, Serena sat on her bed brushing out her long golden tresses, still damp from being washed. Quickly putting them up in their respective 'meatballs', she ran over to her dresser, throwing clothes this way and that, trying to find something nice, yet suitable for the woods.

"Perfect!"

She stood up victoriously with a white mini skirt in one hand, and a pink short-sleeved shirt in the other. She twirled about happily before putting them on. Checking her appearance in the bathroom's full-length mirror, she nodded in satisfaction before glancing at the clock.

"Oh no! Five minutes left!!"

She ran out of the house in a blur of pink and white, heading towards the woods at the edge of the baseball fields. It was a hot and humid day; the sun was at its zenith when Serena made it to the baseball fields huffing and puffing. Sammy, who had been quietly sitting under a tree, walked out from under the shade to greet his sister.

"So, you finally made it, huh meatballhead?" He crossed his arms.

"What do you mean? I'm only..." She checked her watch, "10 minutes late!" He rolled his eyes.

"Exactly." Taking off his baseball cap to wipe the sweat beading on his forehead, he sighed before looking back up at her. "So, what is it you want, Serena?"

She smiled excitedly.

"Well follow me and you'll find out!"

Skipping off towards the woods, Sammy trailing just behind her, Serena grinned goofily as she hummed a cheerful tune. The woods were pleasantly quiet, the only sounds being the occasional chirp of a bird or cicadas in the background. Yep, an all around peaceful place. She inhaled the wonderful scent of the woods, closing her eyes as she did so. Sammy tapped his foot impatiently.

"Well? Hello! Earth to Serena!" He shouted in her ear.

"Ack!" She jumped a few feet in the air, "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, but you sorta spaced out there, meatballhead." She laughed in an embarrassed manner.

"Oh yeah, well...uh..." She slapped herself in an attempt to stop stuttering. It worked. "Well, Sammy. Since tomorrow is your birthday, I've set up a little scavenger hunt for you, and the last item will be this year's birthday present from me!"

His eyebrows rose in interest. "Hey, the meatballhead thought of something useful for once."

"Yeah, yeah. Get a move on buster!" She handed him a small piece of paper with a list on it and ushered him forward.

"Okay, okay!" He raised his hands in a sign of surrender and walked off grumbling something about 'stupid meatballheads.' She followed with a scowl.

"I heard that!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had passed without much event and Sammy was now finally approaching the final destination of the little scavenger hunt Serena had planned. The sun began to set and day faded away as darkness dominated. Serena was becoming increasingly irritated. A few minutes after they had set off, she'd gotten winded and had had to sit down, so here she rested, on the stump of an old tree, waiting...

'It shouldn't have taken so long. He should have found it by now!'

"AAH!"

The distant scream sent chills down her spine as fear pervaded her senses. Her brow furrowed in confusion and she began to head into the forest, her steps quickening as panic began to overtake her. Suddenly, she could hear a loud roaring and Sammy crying out in the background. Setting off immediately, Serena raced towards the sound of his voice, the loud thump of her heartbeat thudding in her ears.

"SAMMY!" her shrill voice echoed in the empty woods.

The forest quickly opened into a small clearing: the place where she'd hidden his present. Her eyes darted to the large bear advancing toward her younger brother.

"Sammy!"

His eyes darted between her and the bear in a flash, his movements quick and erratic. His face was streaked with tears and he looked terrified. The bear didn't seem to take any notice.

"Serena! Help!!" he sobbed. Then in a softer voice, "I'm scared."

His plea of helplessness touched something deep within her; she strengthened her resolve. Looking around, she caught sight of a large stone.

'Perfect.'

With the stone in one hand, she stood ready.

"Sammy! Get ready to run!!" And with a well-aimed throw, she struck the bear on the back of its head. It roared with rage and turned to find the source of its pain. Serena smiled grimly as the bear turned upon her and began to break into a run.

"Go Sammy go!" she screamed before turning about herself and sprinting off, deep into the woods.

She thought she'd die of fright, running through the forest, branches smacking her in the face, the sound of the rampaging bear close behind her. A few minutes later she smiled as the bear slowly fell behind. Then, suddenly, she realized with a shock that she couldn't hear the beast any longer. She looked back in confusion to find she was alone. The silence made her blood run cold.

"S-Sammy?!" She cried out hesitantly.

She began walking back and a feeling of immense horror began to arise. She slowly shook her head in denial as tears unknowingly made tracks down her dirt streaked face. She felt a kind of déjà vu as she ran back to the small opening, stopping just outside of it. Her trembling fingers clutched at her shirt, her teeth chattering in the sudden cold, as she hesitated to face the truth. Some part of her still wanted to childishly hold onto the belief that...that...She resolutely pushed it away.

'Come on Serena. Be strong. It's time to grow up.'

She stepped forward and the sight that met her made her stomach turn. She slapped a hand to her mouth, trying to hold back the bile that tried to rise. No, she wouldn't afford herself the luxury and she would not, no could not allow herself to further soil this ground. She suddenly realized how tired she was as exhaustion set in and adrenaline wore off. Slumping to the forest floor, her vision began to blur. Looking up at the sky, she took in a breath of cold air.

"Sammy...forgive me..."

And as she said this, a lone tear fell to the ground and she fell silent. The loud rumble of thunder could be heard as the sky itself seemed to weep. In the onslaught of rain, she could feel her body going numb and she reveled in the feeling.

'Goodbye.'


* * * * * End Flashback * * * * *


It had been raining on that day, just as it rained now.

Swish swish

Creeping through the streets was a single lonely car. Its bright red paint out of place in such dreary atmosphere, it moved along slowly, cautiously. The rain continued to pound down upon the small vehicle, an ever-threatening presence.

Swish swish

As Darien Shields listened to the monotonous movements of the windshield-wipers, he heaved a large sigh. Just what was he doing out here in the pouring rain, and in the middle of the night no less? A large hand brushed through thick locks of raven hair in frustration. There was much more to it than just the standard 'My dog ran away' response, that was for sure. Hell, he could probably write a book about it! Shaking his head, he went back to long ago, when he'd first encountered a pair of cold blue eyes...

* * * * * * * * * Flashback * * * * * * * * *

"Ah, Darien. You're just the man I wanted to see."

Seated behind a large mahogany desk sat an overweight middle-aged man with dark bushy hair that clearly showed signs of balding. Two small beady eyes stared out from a round face, a small pair of spectacles perched on his pug nose. His large stubby hands were folded neatly on the table next to a small name plaque that read Dr. G. Forbein.

Hearing the older man's words, Darien almost sighed. He'd been studying under the doctor as a sort of intern for months now and could easily understand the man's failure in reaching his patients. He was a superficial man whom Darien found annoying at best, though he was sure the man's obvious falsehood was downright appalling to those being treated by the doctor, if you could even call it that. Most of the patients he'd seen were hypersensitive to their environment and the surrounding people; they could easily see through Forbein's poorly crafted façade, which was blatantly patronizing. Thus, as almost ninety percent of the doctor's cases resulted in failure, mostly signified by suicide, Darien had watched as the number of patients dwindled day by day. To say that business was slow was an understatement.

Which was why Darien was quite surprised to find himself face to face with a young girl, her parents standing behind her as Dr. Forbein politely explained that the young graduate student would be 'assisting' him with treating their daughter. He wasn't at all surprised at the fact that the patient had been most literally dumped upon him, for the doctor began exhibiting a careless attitude towards his patients about a month ago when working hours at the clinic had to be limited to the weekends to cut costs. No, the doctor couldn't have cared less and he knew that Darien was more than capable. Top of his class for four years in a row, he thought with a small amount of pride.

He mentally shook his head and tried to reorient himself, focusing on the task at hand. Questions arose once more. Just what was this young lady doing here? The only patients to have shown up recently were all middle aged men or women, doing their best to find some halfway decent psychological therapy for the cheapest price possible. How could anyone in their right mind think to bring a blossoming child, a young woman, here of all places? If anything, this place would probably drive her to suicide swifter than before.

'Then again,' he thought, noting the haggard look on the father's face, 'perhaps they aren't in their right mind...'

A pair of sharp blue eyes interrupted his train of thought, catching him off guard with the intensity of the gaze. It was a strange contrast, watching the dull expression on her face as her eyes blazed with cold fury, like a blizzard. Yet, behind the ice, he sensed a true maelstrom of emotions and wondered briefly what color blue they truly were, buried beneath shades of pain, anger, and indifference.

He nodded politely to the small family as they left, the first appointment having been made for the next weekend. The doctor droned on and on as Darien stood there, discreetly tuning him out. He was snapped out of his thoughts as Forbein slapped a large folder down on his desk, looking up at him expectantly.

"So, think you can handle it?"

"Maybe," he answered with a shrug.

However, no matter how indifferent he may have seemed, he knew his decision had been made the moment he'd looked into those cold blue eyes.

'Like selling your soul to the devil,' he thought with amusement.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the small flat he called home, Darien was sprawled lazily across his small bed looking through his new "patient's" file. He stifled a yawn as he carefully leafed through the pages. According to the information he'd been given, the girl's name was Serena, Serena Moonstar.

"Hm," he stared at the glowering face of the teenage girl in the picture.

Not exactly the mental picture he would have conjured up for such a beautiful name, not that she was ugly or anything...

Pushing himself up into a sitting position, Darien banished these thoughts in favor of concentrating on the rest of the file. It said that her younger brother, name Samuel Moonstar, had just died a couple of weeks ago. He nearly sighed in sympathy. Surely this must lay somewhere near the root of the problem. His own parents had died years ago when he was a young boy and he still had nightmares.

He continued reading and paled slightly at what he found, for once cursing himself for being correct, as always. Her brother had been savagely killed by a rabid bear and she had been the only surviving witness. The police reports state that the teenaged girl had been found near the site, unconscious and slightly delirious with fever. After being taken to the hospital, it had been determined that aside from the fever, she was relatively healthy and was simply in shock.

Darien sighed as he read on about how she fell into a depression soon after. He wasn't surprised. He wondered how a young girl was coping so well as to not have committed suicide yet, though considering where she'd been sent to for help, he might have spoken too soon. What to do?

The logical thing would be to analyze the patient's behavior and cognitive processes until the root was discovered. That would be easy enough with so many textbooks at his disposal. He had no doubt that he would be able to reach a solution. But before any of this can take place, as well as yield honest results, she must feel that she can trust and confide in him. Psychological therapy is simply a test of one's social skills. Good skills equals good results; cured patient equals money and money moves the world. Or at least, that's what his professor once told him back in college. Back then, students had discussed about this as if it were the simplest and most minor of steps towards success, but he now found himself facing an insurmountable obstacle, or so it seemed.

How could he, let along anyone, warm those cold blue eyes?


~ End Session 1 ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So...liked it? Hated it? Tell me! Maybe I'll get some inspiration (and act on it if I can find the time ^-^;;) Please tell me what you think and certainly if you have any suggestions.

Crystal Rose ^_~