Disclaimer: Io non possedere le Harry Potter. WOO-HOO! I said it in
Italian!
A/N: Well, here's the last chapter. I'm actually quite excited about writing this. As stupid as it sounds. I've decided to write a sequel. SPIN- OFF! Heh. Just because I live to please. Ew, that sounds wrong. By the way, I know I have fairly low self-esteem. But I set my goals only so far. If I set them to high, and I fail, I'll break a leg. If I set them low, and fail, I'll only sprain an ankle. Get what I mean?
Tears ran freely down Severus' face early in the morning of Christmas Eve, as he pulled on his robes. He knew he couldn't live his room in the state he was in- a teary, snotty mess.
'Pull yourself together, man! You need to learn to have some self-control!' a voice inside his head yelled. He brushed away the tears with the back of his hand, and tried to make himself look at least half-decent. As he ran a comb through his hair, he collapsed lightly on the floor. The tears were unstoppable now- flowing fast freely. He felt like a five-year-old boy who had lost his mother in a shopping center. Instead, he was a thirty-seven- year-old man who had lost the only person he loved when he was seventeen. If any could see him like this, they would probably laugh in his face. All he needed now was someone who could understand. No one here could give him the counseling he needed. Deep down he wanted a hug, to be held and caressed lovingly. But no one in the Hogwarts Castle would do that for Severus, the sneering Potions Master.
He pulled himself off the ground, and wiped his face. All he had to do was get through the day, and then he could cry all he wanted. 'But that bloody Granger has to come along too' he thought in annoyance. But maybe she would be some help- listen to him. Perhap he would let himself cry. The breakfast bell rang, and Severus groaned inwardly as he managed to pull himself out of his bedroom. There, he had gone that far. All he had to do was find his way to the Great Hall, eat breakfast, and hopefully he would be feeling better.
***
The Teacher's Table was exceptionally quiet compared to the rest of the tables in the Great Hall. He didn't want the faculty to feel sorry for him. Why couldn't they just go along with their happy lives and leave him in peace? They were all throwing him compassionate looks. He didn't want that. He wanted them all to leave him alone. Hell, Granger was better company then them. At least she listened. Or tried to. He was almost looking forward to her accompanying him to Louisa's Grave. He wouldn't admit it to her. He had to keep up his air of importance. Not turn into a shriveling, crying baby in front of the whole school. But twenty years ago he had.
'Don't cry, Severus, don't cry. Crying symbolizes weakness. Oh, shit, what am I saying? You loved her God damn it' he fought with himself. But he couldn't cry now. No, he had to simply finish his breakfast, and get ready for class. Crying could come later. Much later.
***
"I'm surprised Snape hasn't started to cry yet," Harry commented, as he added some bat wings to his death-stopper potion.
"You have to think about it- I mean, how would you react if you saw Snape cry?" Hermione asked, mixing her potion.
"I would think he had gone insane!" Ron jeered, staring down at his swirling, purple liquid.
"I wasn't asking you. Harry?"
"I don't know. Scared, maybe? Mainly worried," Harry replied.
"Yes. That's right. Also, he was to keep up his image of a careless, cruel image. That would totally be wrecked if he broke down and cried," Hermione said, knowingly. She glanced up at her Professor. His hair was covering his face, though she could see his was inches from tears.
"Poor Snape," she murmured quietly. Ron simply glared at her.
"He's Snape. You said it yourself. He's careless!"
"He also has feelings, Ron Weasley. Whether you believe it or not!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.
"Okay, okay! No need to get snappy!" Ron muttered, his face in one, big scowl.
Hermione waited for her potion to simmer as she threw in a pair of owl eyes. Her potion turned a murky blue, as she watched it bubble. Hermione, herself, felt like crying. Even though she didn't know how Louisa died, she still felt sorry for her. And Snape. She felt running up and giving him a hug, although she knew he would give her a detention. It was almost like indecent contact with a teacher, although she could see nothing indecent about it.
***
As the class walked out of the classroom, Hermione hung around behind.
"Miss Granger, class is over," Professor Snape murmured, almost glad she had stayed behind.
"Are you sure you're alright, Professor?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered quickly, too quickly.
"Well, if you don't want me to come with you tonight, I won't" she muttered.
"I would actually like you to come. It would be nice for a change," he admitted. A brief smile crossed Hermione's face.
"Alright Professor. I'll come," she said softly, dashing out of the classroom.
Severus let out a small grin, the first of the day. It wasn't so bad having Granger around.
***
As everyone in the Gryffindor Common Room wandered around in their dress robes, after dinner, Hermione remained in her normal school robes.
"I can't believe you don't have a bed, 'Mione," Ron commented, as she read her Herbology book.
"I'm not. I'm quite happy about not going," she said, half truthfully, half lying. She would have looked to go, yet she was happy about seeing Louisa's grave.
"Fine. But we'll tell you lots of stories when we get back then," Harry said, bouncing from foot to foot. He was quite excited about getting a date with Cho.
"Harry, sit down. You're going to hurt someone, or worse, yourself!" Hermione said, shaking her head. Harry did as he was told, but that didn't stop him from fidgeting.
"Look, I better be going," Hermione sighed, after a few minuets.
"Alright. Have, well, a good time. I guess,' Harry said, stuck for words. Ron simply grunted, as she pushed open the portrait, and stepped outside into the corridor.
As Hermione walked slowly down the stairs that lead into the dungeons, she could see a small sliver of light shining from the Potions Classroom. She slowly pushed open the door, and stepped in. The light was coming from Snape's private office. On his desk was a small bouquet of white roses. Hermione slowly walked over to them and ran her finger over their delicate petals.
"Miss Granger!" Snape cried as he walked out of his office. His eyes were blotchy, obviously from crying.
"Um, well everyone was going to leave for the Yule Ball, so I decided to come," she explained. A small sigh came from her teacher, as he grabbed the roses off his desk.
"Come along then," he muttered, turning to the door. Hermione followed him like a lost puppy. As the wandered down the hallway that headed outside, Hermione sensed she better not say anything, unless she was spoken to. She felt like a child back in the 18th Century- Speak only when you're spoken to.
Snape finally stopped walking as they reached the lake. Hermione glanced around. There was no tombstone, no flowers, just damp grass.
"Why are we stopping?" she asked softly. She was answered by a choked sigh.
"Did Louisa drown?" she asked, just as soft as her previous question.
"No," he whispered.
"How, then?"
Snape sighed, as his fingers ran across the roses, before he began to speak.
-"Hey, does anyone want to play some Quidditch?" Lucius asked, standing in front of Louisa and Severus, as they sat, talking in the Slytherin Common Room. It was Christmas Eve, and the two were talking about what they were going to do for Christmas.
"Who else is playing?" Severus asked.
"Just thought it would be a little game by ourselves. The field's empty, so it should be fun," Lucius said, grinning.
"I don't like heights," Louisa murmured.
"Well you don't have to play. How about you, Severus?"
Severus bit his lip, before agreeing.
***
Louisa watched silently, as Lucius and Severus played a one-on-one game of Quidditch high in the air. There were no Bludgers flying around, which Lousia was very happy about, as she had developed a rather large fear of them.
As the game came to a close, Louisa got up to leave. Severus landed slowly on the ground, Lucius behind him.
"We better put everything away," Severus said, picking up his broomstick. Louisa grabbed the large, wooden Quidditch crate where the balls were strapped down. Lucius, surprisingly, picked up the other side. Though suspicious, Severus didn't think anything about it.
As they neared the Quidditch shed, Lucius let out a groan.
"What's wrong?" Severus asked, as he opened the door.
"I left my broom back on the field. Can you go back and get it?"
"I will," Louisa spoke up.
"Nah, don't worry Louisa, I will," Severus said, laying his broom on the ground. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before running off to the Quidditch field. Louisa slowly put down the wooden crate, and walking over to the lake which was only a few meters away. She heard a small squeak, and turned around, where Lucius was crouching over a struggling Bludger that was squirming on the ground.
"Hey, Louisa?" Lucius asked. "How hard do you think the force would be for someone to be killed by one of these.
Louisa shrugged; suddenly wishing Severus would hurry up.
"Come on, guess,"
"I don't really know. I never thought about it," she murmured. Lucius picked up the Bludger, his fingers holding onto it tightly.
"What are you doing?" Louisa asked softly, seeing Severus jogging back to the shed in the distance.
"Scared?" Lucius hissed dangerously.
"Severus is coming back. He's almost here," she murmured quietly, praying for a distraction.
"Good. He can see his sweet Mudblood girlfriend die," And with that final comment, Lucius slammed the Bludger over her head. Severus dropped the broom to the ground, and ran the last hundred or so meters. Deep, red blood poured freely from Louisa's cracked skull as she sunk to her knees.
"What the fuck did you do?!" Severus screeched, his face a pale white. He dropped down onto the ground, and put a hand over the open wound.
"Smashed a bludger on her head,' Lucius muttered simply, placing it back in the crate.
"You bastard!" Severus yelled, as he felt Louisa's cold hand. Lucius simply laughed as he dragged the crate into the shed. How could he laugh like that? As if he was talking about the weather? Severus rolled Louisa onto her back, blood staining the grass. His hand grasped hers, her fingers clasping his loosely.
"Louisa?" he murmured quietly, tears falling from his eyes. A groan came from her; her eyes squeezed shut in pain.
"How are you feeling?" he asked in a murmur, as her breaths becoming shorter and less frequent.
"My head hurts," she whispered, opening one eye.
"Shh, you'll be okay," he said, trying to reassure himself more then her.
"Good," she murmured, as she closed her eyes. Her fingers finally fell from his, as the horrible truth dawned on him. He felt Lucius standing behind him, his eyes staring at the back of his head.
"She's dead," Severus muttered.
"She deserved to go," Lucius hissed, walking around Severus, and picking up Louisa's dead body.
"What are you doing?" Severus asked, tears continuing to fall.
"Throwing her in the lake. You can't expect us to tell the teachers, do you?"
"They'll find out! I'll tell them!" Severus screeched, standing up.
"So? I'm still throwing her in the lake. You helping me or not?"
Severus shook his head, and stared down at Louisa's pale face one last time, before Lucius pulled her along the ground and into the water, before dropping her, the tide of the lake slowly pulling her away from the shore. -
Hermione stood in numb horror, as she glanced from the Quidditch shed to the lake.
"I didn't want to tell you," Snape muttered, throwing the roses into the water.
"It's horrible," Hermione murmured quietly, watching the tide brush at her feet. She looked up at the Potions Master as a tiny tear feel down his cheek. He caught her looking at him, and quickly brushed away the tear.
"You can cry. I won't tell anyone," Hermione told him.
"No. I've learnt to control my emotions while around people. It would be to strange,"
"Okay,"
There was a slight pause, before Snape spoke up once more.
"You look like her. Louisa, I mean,"
"Do I?"
"Slightly. Same hair. Face shape. Though her eyes were a deep green,"
Hermione nodded and glanced into the murky green waters of the lake. Snape did the same, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I still miss her. Wonder what she'd be doing if she was still alive," Snape said softly, staring back at his reflection. Out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he could see Louisa staring back at him. Or maybe it was just Hermione's reflection.
The End.
***
A/N: Just a small dedication:
This is dedicated to the Life and Love of Lindy Doan.
5 June, 1987- 29 August 2002
May you live forever in the souls of everyone's life you touched so deeply. We shall never forget your lovely smile, and your friendly manner to everyone. We will never forget you.
A/N: Well, here's the last chapter. I'm actually quite excited about writing this. As stupid as it sounds. I've decided to write a sequel. SPIN- OFF! Heh. Just because I live to please. Ew, that sounds wrong. By the way, I know I have fairly low self-esteem. But I set my goals only so far. If I set them to high, and I fail, I'll break a leg. If I set them low, and fail, I'll only sprain an ankle. Get what I mean?
Tears ran freely down Severus' face early in the morning of Christmas Eve, as he pulled on his robes. He knew he couldn't live his room in the state he was in- a teary, snotty mess.
'Pull yourself together, man! You need to learn to have some self-control!' a voice inside his head yelled. He brushed away the tears with the back of his hand, and tried to make himself look at least half-decent. As he ran a comb through his hair, he collapsed lightly on the floor. The tears were unstoppable now- flowing fast freely. He felt like a five-year-old boy who had lost his mother in a shopping center. Instead, he was a thirty-seven- year-old man who had lost the only person he loved when he was seventeen. If any could see him like this, they would probably laugh in his face. All he needed now was someone who could understand. No one here could give him the counseling he needed. Deep down he wanted a hug, to be held and caressed lovingly. But no one in the Hogwarts Castle would do that for Severus, the sneering Potions Master.
He pulled himself off the ground, and wiped his face. All he had to do was get through the day, and then he could cry all he wanted. 'But that bloody Granger has to come along too' he thought in annoyance. But maybe she would be some help- listen to him. Perhap he would let himself cry. The breakfast bell rang, and Severus groaned inwardly as he managed to pull himself out of his bedroom. There, he had gone that far. All he had to do was find his way to the Great Hall, eat breakfast, and hopefully he would be feeling better.
***
The Teacher's Table was exceptionally quiet compared to the rest of the tables in the Great Hall. He didn't want the faculty to feel sorry for him. Why couldn't they just go along with their happy lives and leave him in peace? They were all throwing him compassionate looks. He didn't want that. He wanted them all to leave him alone. Hell, Granger was better company then them. At least she listened. Or tried to. He was almost looking forward to her accompanying him to Louisa's Grave. He wouldn't admit it to her. He had to keep up his air of importance. Not turn into a shriveling, crying baby in front of the whole school. But twenty years ago he had.
'Don't cry, Severus, don't cry. Crying symbolizes weakness. Oh, shit, what am I saying? You loved her God damn it' he fought with himself. But he couldn't cry now. No, he had to simply finish his breakfast, and get ready for class. Crying could come later. Much later.
***
"I'm surprised Snape hasn't started to cry yet," Harry commented, as he added some bat wings to his death-stopper potion.
"You have to think about it- I mean, how would you react if you saw Snape cry?" Hermione asked, mixing her potion.
"I would think he had gone insane!" Ron jeered, staring down at his swirling, purple liquid.
"I wasn't asking you. Harry?"
"I don't know. Scared, maybe? Mainly worried," Harry replied.
"Yes. That's right. Also, he was to keep up his image of a careless, cruel image. That would totally be wrecked if he broke down and cried," Hermione said, knowingly. She glanced up at her Professor. His hair was covering his face, though she could see his was inches from tears.
"Poor Snape," she murmured quietly. Ron simply glared at her.
"He's Snape. You said it yourself. He's careless!"
"He also has feelings, Ron Weasley. Whether you believe it or not!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.
"Okay, okay! No need to get snappy!" Ron muttered, his face in one, big scowl.
Hermione waited for her potion to simmer as she threw in a pair of owl eyes. Her potion turned a murky blue, as she watched it bubble. Hermione, herself, felt like crying. Even though she didn't know how Louisa died, she still felt sorry for her. And Snape. She felt running up and giving him a hug, although she knew he would give her a detention. It was almost like indecent contact with a teacher, although she could see nothing indecent about it.
***
As the class walked out of the classroom, Hermione hung around behind.
"Miss Granger, class is over," Professor Snape murmured, almost glad she had stayed behind.
"Are you sure you're alright, Professor?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered quickly, too quickly.
"Well, if you don't want me to come with you tonight, I won't" she muttered.
"I would actually like you to come. It would be nice for a change," he admitted. A brief smile crossed Hermione's face.
"Alright Professor. I'll come," she said softly, dashing out of the classroom.
Severus let out a small grin, the first of the day. It wasn't so bad having Granger around.
***
As everyone in the Gryffindor Common Room wandered around in their dress robes, after dinner, Hermione remained in her normal school robes.
"I can't believe you don't have a bed, 'Mione," Ron commented, as she read her Herbology book.
"I'm not. I'm quite happy about not going," she said, half truthfully, half lying. She would have looked to go, yet she was happy about seeing Louisa's grave.
"Fine. But we'll tell you lots of stories when we get back then," Harry said, bouncing from foot to foot. He was quite excited about getting a date with Cho.
"Harry, sit down. You're going to hurt someone, or worse, yourself!" Hermione said, shaking her head. Harry did as he was told, but that didn't stop him from fidgeting.
"Look, I better be going," Hermione sighed, after a few minuets.
"Alright. Have, well, a good time. I guess,' Harry said, stuck for words. Ron simply grunted, as she pushed open the portrait, and stepped outside into the corridor.
As Hermione walked slowly down the stairs that lead into the dungeons, she could see a small sliver of light shining from the Potions Classroom. She slowly pushed open the door, and stepped in. The light was coming from Snape's private office. On his desk was a small bouquet of white roses. Hermione slowly walked over to them and ran her finger over their delicate petals.
"Miss Granger!" Snape cried as he walked out of his office. His eyes were blotchy, obviously from crying.
"Um, well everyone was going to leave for the Yule Ball, so I decided to come," she explained. A small sigh came from her teacher, as he grabbed the roses off his desk.
"Come along then," he muttered, turning to the door. Hermione followed him like a lost puppy. As the wandered down the hallway that headed outside, Hermione sensed she better not say anything, unless she was spoken to. She felt like a child back in the 18th Century- Speak only when you're spoken to.
Snape finally stopped walking as they reached the lake. Hermione glanced around. There was no tombstone, no flowers, just damp grass.
"Why are we stopping?" she asked softly. She was answered by a choked sigh.
"Did Louisa drown?" she asked, just as soft as her previous question.
"No," he whispered.
"How, then?"
Snape sighed, as his fingers ran across the roses, before he began to speak.
-"Hey, does anyone want to play some Quidditch?" Lucius asked, standing in front of Louisa and Severus, as they sat, talking in the Slytherin Common Room. It was Christmas Eve, and the two were talking about what they were going to do for Christmas.
"Who else is playing?" Severus asked.
"Just thought it would be a little game by ourselves. The field's empty, so it should be fun," Lucius said, grinning.
"I don't like heights," Louisa murmured.
"Well you don't have to play. How about you, Severus?"
Severus bit his lip, before agreeing.
***
Louisa watched silently, as Lucius and Severus played a one-on-one game of Quidditch high in the air. There were no Bludgers flying around, which Lousia was very happy about, as she had developed a rather large fear of them.
As the game came to a close, Louisa got up to leave. Severus landed slowly on the ground, Lucius behind him.
"We better put everything away," Severus said, picking up his broomstick. Louisa grabbed the large, wooden Quidditch crate where the balls were strapped down. Lucius, surprisingly, picked up the other side. Though suspicious, Severus didn't think anything about it.
As they neared the Quidditch shed, Lucius let out a groan.
"What's wrong?" Severus asked, as he opened the door.
"I left my broom back on the field. Can you go back and get it?"
"I will," Louisa spoke up.
"Nah, don't worry Louisa, I will," Severus said, laying his broom on the ground. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before running off to the Quidditch field. Louisa slowly put down the wooden crate, and walking over to the lake which was only a few meters away. She heard a small squeak, and turned around, where Lucius was crouching over a struggling Bludger that was squirming on the ground.
"Hey, Louisa?" Lucius asked. "How hard do you think the force would be for someone to be killed by one of these.
Louisa shrugged; suddenly wishing Severus would hurry up.
"Come on, guess,"
"I don't really know. I never thought about it," she murmured. Lucius picked up the Bludger, his fingers holding onto it tightly.
"What are you doing?" Louisa asked softly, seeing Severus jogging back to the shed in the distance.
"Scared?" Lucius hissed dangerously.
"Severus is coming back. He's almost here," she murmured quietly, praying for a distraction.
"Good. He can see his sweet Mudblood girlfriend die," And with that final comment, Lucius slammed the Bludger over her head. Severus dropped the broom to the ground, and ran the last hundred or so meters. Deep, red blood poured freely from Louisa's cracked skull as she sunk to her knees.
"What the fuck did you do?!" Severus screeched, his face a pale white. He dropped down onto the ground, and put a hand over the open wound.
"Smashed a bludger on her head,' Lucius muttered simply, placing it back in the crate.
"You bastard!" Severus yelled, as he felt Louisa's cold hand. Lucius simply laughed as he dragged the crate into the shed. How could he laugh like that? As if he was talking about the weather? Severus rolled Louisa onto her back, blood staining the grass. His hand grasped hers, her fingers clasping his loosely.
"Louisa?" he murmured quietly, tears falling from his eyes. A groan came from her; her eyes squeezed shut in pain.
"How are you feeling?" he asked in a murmur, as her breaths becoming shorter and less frequent.
"My head hurts," she whispered, opening one eye.
"Shh, you'll be okay," he said, trying to reassure himself more then her.
"Good," she murmured, as she closed her eyes. Her fingers finally fell from his, as the horrible truth dawned on him. He felt Lucius standing behind him, his eyes staring at the back of his head.
"She's dead," Severus muttered.
"She deserved to go," Lucius hissed, walking around Severus, and picking up Louisa's dead body.
"What are you doing?" Severus asked, tears continuing to fall.
"Throwing her in the lake. You can't expect us to tell the teachers, do you?"
"They'll find out! I'll tell them!" Severus screeched, standing up.
"So? I'm still throwing her in the lake. You helping me or not?"
Severus shook his head, and stared down at Louisa's pale face one last time, before Lucius pulled her along the ground and into the water, before dropping her, the tide of the lake slowly pulling her away from the shore. -
Hermione stood in numb horror, as she glanced from the Quidditch shed to the lake.
"I didn't want to tell you," Snape muttered, throwing the roses into the water.
"It's horrible," Hermione murmured quietly, watching the tide brush at her feet. She looked up at the Potions Master as a tiny tear feel down his cheek. He caught her looking at him, and quickly brushed away the tear.
"You can cry. I won't tell anyone," Hermione told him.
"No. I've learnt to control my emotions while around people. It would be to strange,"
"Okay,"
There was a slight pause, before Snape spoke up once more.
"You look like her. Louisa, I mean,"
"Do I?"
"Slightly. Same hair. Face shape. Though her eyes were a deep green,"
Hermione nodded and glanced into the murky green waters of the lake. Snape did the same, and put a hand on her shoulder.
"I still miss her. Wonder what she'd be doing if she was still alive," Snape said softly, staring back at his reflection. Out of the corner of his eye, he could swear he could see Louisa staring back at him. Or maybe it was just Hermione's reflection.
The End.
***
A/N: Just a small dedication:
This is dedicated to the Life and Love of Lindy Doan.
5 June, 1987- 29 August 2002
May you live forever in the souls of everyone's life you touched so deeply. We shall never forget your lovely smile, and your friendly manner to everyone. We will never forget you.