Kuno vs the foul sorcerors
Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and Buffy the vampire slayer are copyright to Rumiko Takahashi and Joss
whedon. I'm just a pathetic littlewaith who got hit by a truck a few weeks ago! Don't sue me!
If you do I may completely crumble into a disgusting mess on the floor and that would just be
bad for everyone.
Authors notes: This is a crossover between Buffy and Ranma but involving secondary characters.
The only Buffy characters to appear in this fic will be the trio who I thought would make
hilarious adversaries for Kuno because their idiocy and delusions of grandeur easly rival his
own. This is an alternate universe taking place after season five. This universe also takes
place two years after the end of the Ranma manga. For reasons that I will explain in the story
the trio have fled to Japan. What is the object the trio stole from the secret base? You'll
just have to wait and find out. Also I know these three came from the US but I figured since
they were such big nerds they probably learned Japanese and a bizzilion other languages which
is a useful plot divice for not bothering with language barriers. Afterall Johnathan knew
babylonian and Klingon so why not?
One year ago after several failed weddings, Ranma and Akane had done something no one had
thought they would do.They eloped and left Nerima. No one except Nabiki really knew the
details of the situation. Soun had burst out crying like the baby he is. Shampoo and the other
Amazons left Nerima as well, since Ranma was gone there was no more reason for them to stay.
Ukyo however did stay. As upset as she was, she couldn't just leave her restruant. Ryoga would
wander through Nerima occasionally. He had settled his differences with Ranma before the
marriage and was happy with Akari. But no one had taken the news quite as badly as a certain
kendoist.
"Lies! I Tatewaki kuno shall never accept this...this travesty of justice!" Ever since
he was a child Kuno had lived in his own little world. Kunos reality was like the one of
everyone else in some ways but in others it was very different. Kuno believed dark
sorcerors and demons lurked around every corner waiting to spread chaos througout human world.
He also believed himself to be a warrior with no equal that no woman could help but fall for.
It all started when he was a child. Kuno had always believed the study of literature and kendo
was the road to a healthy life. So he would study all the big thick hard back backs he could
find. The only problem is that he had trouble distinguishing fact from fiction. In fact he
belived that every great work of literature was indeed fact. Anyone who tried to tell him
otherwise would find their face connected with the wrong end of a bokken. Kuno always believed
himself to be right. Even when the facts said otherwise he would somehow work them around in
his mind so that he was still right. A quark of his that would cause a certain pigtailed
boy/girl much trouble in the future. Then one day at the age of eight kuno purchased the Lord
of the Rings Trilogy. This is the day when everything changed for him.
The present
"I Tatewaki Kuno refuse to believe it! No doubt the fiend used dark magic to steal her
away!" Kuno slashed at a dummy in front of him with his bokken cutting it in half. Sasuke
decided it would be best to leave his master alone and left. He was just glad
that Kunos father had taken Kodachi with him on his second trip to Hawaii. He shuddered to
think how she would react.
Whether Akane had had left with Ranma of her own free will or had been spirited away by
sorcery the fact remained that she was gone and even kuno could not help but admit he had lost.
"I should not have been so leaneant on the svengali. My carelessness has cost me both my
tigress and my pigtailed godess." Kuno turned to the sun which happened to be in noon
position and said "I Tatewaki kuno hearby swear to the setting sun that never again shall I
allow any foul sorceror to meet me and come away unscathed. Even if Sauron himself dares to
challenge me I shall smite him with the blade of the heavens!"
1 month later
A loud crash could be heard as a brick wall shattered. A dog ran across the street barking
in terror. "Saotome! Coward!Prepare yourself for my righteous fury!" Kuno jumped over a moving
car and cornered the dog. "So we meet again at last heathen! I shall consider sparing your
worthless hide if you give me back my loves!" The dog barked.
BANG! "What the hell are you doing to that poor dog?". Ukyo had just slammed her spatula
over his head.
"Heh! It may seem a dog to those untrained in spotting those versed in the dark arts but
my vigilance can easily see
through such guises! That dog is none other then the foul sorceror saotome! He's an animagist!"
"Oh really? Kuno leave the poor dog alone and come with me to my restruant. I want to
talk with you about something."
"Right after I punish this villain!" Bam! Ukyo hit him over the head again and dragged
him back to ucchans.
Later
"Kuno. I never liked you much but even I'm getting a little worried. Lately you've been
acting really strange. I think you need help. I was really upset with what happened with Ran
chan and Akane but I think it really unhinged your sanity. I mean you were always kind of
strange but you never used to accuse dogs of being Ran chan."
"Saotome is a lowly dog so it makes sense that he would disguise himself as one. He is a
dark sorceror, no doubt trying to revive one of his dead masters using fair akane as a
sacrifice."
Ukyo gave him a worried look and hesitantly said "His dead master?"
"Yes. I hadn't believed it possible but recently I have come to suspect the dark lord may
yet rise again. Up until recently I had believed the age of magic had ended long ago. But then
that svengali came. He may not have been as powerful as the sorcerors of old but his powers
have been growing. When we first battled his speed was unnatural. No doubt enhanced by a spell
of some sort."
"If you haven't been paying attention all the martial artists around Nerima are unnaturaly
fast including you. I heard you shattered a rock from a distance with your bokken."
"Heh! But of course. Such a feat of streingth is a mere trifle for one such as myself.
However no ordinary man could best me in combat. Which is why he is a sorceror!"
It was like trying to talk to a tree. "Don't you think there's even a small possibility
that there could be more then one person with speed like yours?"
"Nay. There can only be one!"
"What does that mean?"
Kuno hadn't actually thought of that. He took on a quisical look on his face then looked
like he was trying really hard to think of an answer. "That's always how things are when it
comes to great swordsmen!"
"But Ran chan never used a sword!"
"It doesn't matter! There can only be one!" Kunos word was law and even reality would
bend to his will, at least in his mind anyway.
"Look I'm pretty fast myself! Am I sorceror?"
"The rule doesn't apply to you. You are a woman and you use a spatula not a sword."
Ukyo slammed her head on the table groaning in exasperation. "I didn't think even you
could be this dense!"
"Think about it you infernal woman! More recently he has used ever more powerful magical
attacks! I remember as clear as if it was yesterday he used a powerful wind spell to defeat me
in battle two years ago! Then I witnessed an even more powerful attack again when he fired a
beam of light from the palm of his hand. And what about how he can switch places with the
pigtailed goddess? How do you explain that wench? HMMMMMMMMMM?" Kuno had his face up against
hers. There was a certain crazed look in his eyes that wasn't there before Ranma and Akane left.
"I give up! You win! Just back up and give me some space!"
"Feh! But of course! Pointing out what is blatantly obvious to those as unobservant as
yourself is the duty of every true samurai! You may properly thank anytime which reminds me..."
"Kuno... there's a shape shifting trickster in my store sign. Could you go beat it up?"
"What! By the gods! Why didn't you say so earlier woman? I shall smite thee!" Kuno
crashed through the glass window causing ukyo to shudder. Tsubasa screamed as kuno chased him
away waving his bokken like a crazed mad man shouting "Hault fiend!". Ukyo couldn't help but
feel a little sorry for him though. He had lost the one thing he was building his fantasy
world around and now it had all come crashing down around him. Ukyo glanced down at a tabloid
one of her customers left that had a picture of a man in a demon costume robbing a bank.
It had a big flashy title that said "Hell needs money! Demon robs 1st Nerima bank!"
"I'm glad Kuno didn't see this." She crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage.
Elsewhere
Three pathetic looking teenagers sat in the back of a black van. The vans walls were lined
with advanced computer and surveilance equipment. The three teenagers were Johnathan, Warren
and Andrew. All three of them were outcasts in high school. However they were talented outcasts.
Johnathan was a pudgy short guy with brown hair. His talent was reality manipulating spells.
Warren was a skinnier, taller guy who had little experience in magic but was a scientific genius
in areas ranging from robotics to physics. Andrew had red hair, he specialized in summoning
spells and could summon a variety of demons. They origenally lived in Sunnydale California. One
day on the same sort of whim ordinary people would decide to go to a movie they had decided to
conquor Sunnydale and later maybe even America or the world. Their first scheme was around
something that Warren had discovered when hacking some government files. They had succeeded in
stealing it from a secret government base in Nevada. It hadn't been an easy Job. Johnathan had
cast a spell that caused an earthquake while Andrew summoned as many demons as he could in the
area. While the soldiers guarding the base were distracted they had gone in armed with a
prototype freeze ray as well as several conventional weapons. They had found what they were
looking for and even managed to steal it. But it didn't take long for the governement to catch
up with them. They had to flee. First they went to Mexico and then stole wayed on a ship going
out to Japan.
"I can't believe we made it here! Your sure we aren't being tailed? I don't want to go to
the big house, that place changes a guy!" said Johnathan.
"Are we there yet? I have to go to the bathroom." whined Andrew in a very whiney voice.
"Shut up you two! Were almost back. Remember, there's no slayer here, and big brother
won't be expecting us to hide in a place like this. Once we get things secured this town will
be as good as ours." Warren pulled out a little remote and opened the door to a large car
garage they bought with their new money and were currently using as a base of operations.
The place was littered with all sorts of gizmos as well as magical books and objects.
On the left side of the room was a black boared that had the words goals written on it. Under
long term goals were "1.Get control of secret weapon 2.conquor Nerima,3.conquor Japan,
4.Invade California and make Buffy our slave. 5. conquor America and then the world muahahaha!"
Suddenly there was a loud bang on the door. "Oh no! It's the man! I know it is!"
Johnathan started to get ready to cast a spell to change his form.
Warren looked through a little hole he drilled in the door. "It's ok. It's our freind."
They opened the door and a seven foot tall reptillian humanoid came in. He tossed a large bag
full of yen on the ground."
"Here's your money. Now I want my end of the deal!" Andrew had summoned the demon but
none of them had talked with it about what it wanted.
"Uhhh...ok. So what do you want?"
"The slayers head!"
"Uhhh... just a moment!" the three of them huddled in a corner.
"We can't kill the slayer! She's back in California!" said Warren.
"Yeah besides I don't want to kill Buffy. She saved me one time.
"
"He's going to kill us if we don't do something!"
"Leave this to me!" Warren wrote down Buffys addresse and handed it to the demon.
"Here's Buffys addresse. You can go kill her yourself!"
The demon looked at him for a moment and said "Do I look stupid to you?"
"Uhhh... well I try not to judge people by appearances." The demon decked Warren.
"Listen. I may not be native to this dimension but I've been summoned to this world
enough times to be familiar with its geography. California is not in Japan!"
"What do you espect us to do?"
"Oh?!? You claim to weild such great power. Why don't you just kill her with a spell or
press a button and blow her up from a distance."
"Well.... maybe if you give us a few months...."
"Do it now or die!"
It was at this moment a man wearing a kendo outfit ran by the place chasing a restruant
sign. He looked in the open door and saw the demon. "You there! Spawn of hell I shall send you
back whenst you came!"
"What?" The demon turned around glaring at him. "What pathetic human dares insult me?"
"Ahhh.... Is it not the custom for one to introduce himself first? Very well then! I am
Tatewaki Kuno, often times called the blue thunder of Furinken high." thunder and lightning
crashed in the background. Of course Kuno had graduated from Furinken by
now but still called himself blue thunder of furinken high.
"Wow! He's so cool!" Andrew said in awe.
"An allie to the forces of good and a nightmare to creatures of darkness like yourself!"
"You talk big you puny little man! What good do you think that stick will do against me?"
The demon swiped at him but he blocked his blow and struck him in the gut. The demon keeled over.
"I didn't think any human besides the slayer had that kind of power! Just who are you?"
"Hahaha! As I have said on numerous occasions I am the blue thunder of Furinken high!"
"I won't lose to a filthy human!" the demon ran at him but kuno slashed down on him. The
thick armor covering his body cracked under the blow and he began to fall foreward. As thick
as his hide was he was still nowhere as good as the likes of Ranma at taking blows. Before the
demon hit the ground Kuno did his infamous water melon cutter attack aiming for the softer
skin under its chin beheading the demon.
" Me thinks there is more to this then meets the eye. No doubt this demon was summoned
by a foul sorceror!"
The trio was close enough to hear what he said. "How? How did he know?" Warren whispered
under his breath.
"He's a Jedi master! We should have stayed in sunnydale!" said Andrew.
"No he's a wudan master! He'd have a lightsabre if he was jedi!" said Johnathan.
"He's a jedi!"
"He's a wudan!"
"Jedi!"
"Wudan!"
"Jedi!"
"Wudan!"
"Shut up! He's a jedi wudan master ok!"
"What are you three talking about?"
"Oh....uhhhh we were just admiring how you took down that demon! It's always a pleasure
to meet a Jedi Wudan master!"
Kuno didn't know what a jedi or a wudan was since he had never watched many movies aside
from samurai dramas, but he was a master of many things so surely he must have mastered both of
those somewhere along the way. "Feh! Deafeating one so vile as that is nothing for the blue
thunder of Furinken high!" Kuno looked inside the garage. "What's in there?"
"Oh that? Were uhhhh...." Warren struggled for a lie.
"Were building a life sized replica of the melennium falcon!" said Andrew.
"Melennium Falcon? I have not heard of such a thing. Surely something with such a
majestic name is worthy of my collection. I would be interested in purchasing it from you when
you are done. But right now I must go, for even as I speak I sense that evil is afoot! I must
go on a quest to seek out the one who summoned that demon! I sense he is nearby watching my
every move even as I speak!" a few sweat drops appeared on the backs of the heads of the
three nerds. Kuno ran across the street and in a single bound he jumped onto the rooftop of a
nearby building and sprinted away from rooftop to rooftop.
"This could be a problem. A jedi wudan master could be an even greater threat to our plans
then the slayer." said Warren thoughtfully putting his hand to his chin. "How do you kill a
jedi wadun master?"
"I don't think we should kill him. I mean Lex Luthor never killed superman right?" Andrew
said.
"Not this debate again! Ok we won't kill him for now. First lets test out his abilitys!"
"He said he has a collection! I wonder if he has an X-wing fighter? Maybe we should like
go raid his house or something?" said Andrew dreamily.
"Are you crazy? We can't just go raid the house of a Jedi Wudan master?"
"You said the same thing about the government base we raided!"
"Yeah and look where it got us! Besides this is differen't, we don't have half the
mitoclorians it takes to defeat him!"
"Maybe, but our surpurior intelligence will give us the edge we need in the coming battle"
said Warren. "I'll get to work on designing a rapid firing blow gun just like the one Jade Fox
used on Lemu Bai right away! Now I wonder how I could make that poison she tipped the darts
with?"
"Yeah but remember! No killing! Lex Luthor never killed superman!" So much for surpurior
intelligence.
Disclaimer: Ranma1/2 and Buffy the vampire slayer are copyright to Rumiko Takahashi and Joss
whedon. I'm just a pathetic littlewaith who got hit by a truck a few weeks ago! Don't sue me!
If you do I may completely crumble into a disgusting mess on the floor and that would just be
bad for everyone.
Authors notes: This is a crossover between Buffy and Ranma but involving secondary characters.
The only Buffy characters to appear in this fic will be the trio who I thought would make
hilarious adversaries for Kuno because their idiocy and delusions of grandeur easly rival his
own. This is an alternate universe taking place after season five. This universe also takes
place two years after the end of the Ranma manga. For reasons that I will explain in the story
the trio have fled to Japan. What is the object the trio stole from the secret base? You'll
just have to wait and find out. Also I know these three came from the US but I figured since
they were such big nerds they probably learned Japanese and a bizzilion other languages which
is a useful plot divice for not bothering with language barriers. Afterall Johnathan knew
babylonian and Klingon so why not?
One year ago after several failed weddings, Ranma and Akane had done something no one had
thought they would do.They eloped and left Nerima. No one except Nabiki really knew the
details of the situation. Soun had burst out crying like the baby he is. Shampoo and the other
Amazons left Nerima as well, since Ranma was gone there was no more reason for them to stay.
Ukyo however did stay. As upset as she was, she couldn't just leave her restruant. Ryoga would
wander through Nerima occasionally. He had settled his differences with Ranma before the
marriage and was happy with Akari. But no one had taken the news quite as badly as a certain
kendoist.
"Lies! I Tatewaki kuno shall never accept this...this travesty of justice!" Ever since
he was a child Kuno had lived in his own little world. Kunos reality was like the one of
everyone else in some ways but in others it was very different. Kuno believed dark
sorcerors and demons lurked around every corner waiting to spread chaos througout human world.
He also believed himself to be a warrior with no equal that no woman could help but fall for.
It all started when he was a child. Kuno had always believed the study of literature and kendo
was the road to a healthy life. So he would study all the big thick hard back backs he could
find. The only problem is that he had trouble distinguishing fact from fiction. In fact he
belived that every great work of literature was indeed fact. Anyone who tried to tell him
otherwise would find their face connected with the wrong end of a bokken. Kuno always believed
himself to be right. Even when the facts said otherwise he would somehow work them around in
his mind so that he was still right. A quark of his that would cause a certain pigtailed
boy/girl much trouble in the future. Then one day at the age of eight kuno purchased the Lord
of the Rings Trilogy. This is the day when everything changed for him.
The present
"I Tatewaki Kuno refuse to believe it! No doubt the fiend used dark magic to steal her
away!" Kuno slashed at a dummy in front of him with his bokken cutting it in half. Sasuke
decided it would be best to leave his master alone and left. He was just glad
that Kunos father had taken Kodachi with him on his second trip to Hawaii. He shuddered to
think how she would react.
Whether Akane had had left with Ranma of her own free will or had been spirited away by
sorcery the fact remained that she was gone and even kuno could not help but admit he had lost.
"I should not have been so leaneant on the svengali. My carelessness has cost me both my
tigress and my pigtailed godess." Kuno turned to the sun which happened to be in noon
position and said "I Tatewaki kuno hearby swear to the setting sun that never again shall I
allow any foul sorceror to meet me and come away unscathed. Even if Sauron himself dares to
challenge me I shall smite him with the blade of the heavens!"
1 month later
A loud crash could be heard as a brick wall shattered. A dog ran across the street barking
in terror. "Saotome! Coward!Prepare yourself for my righteous fury!" Kuno jumped over a moving
car and cornered the dog. "So we meet again at last heathen! I shall consider sparing your
worthless hide if you give me back my loves!" The dog barked.
BANG! "What the hell are you doing to that poor dog?". Ukyo had just slammed her spatula
over his head.
"Heh! It may seem a dog to those untrained in spotting those versed in the dark arts but
my vigilance can easily see
through such guises! That dog is none other then the foul sorceror saotome! He's an animagist!"
"Oh really? Kuno leave the poor dog alone and come with me to my restruant. I want to
talk with you about something."
"Right after I punish this villain!" Bam! Ukyo hit him over the head again and dragged
him back to ucchans.
Later
"Kuno. I never liked you much but even I'm getting a little worried. Lately you've been
acting really strange. I think you need help. I was really upset with what happened with Ran
chan and Akane but I think it really unhinged your sanity. I mean you were always kind of
strange but you never used to accuse dogs of being Ran chan."
"Saotome is a lowly dog so it makes sense that he would disguise himself as one. He is a
dark sorceror, no doubt trying to revive one of his dead masters using fair akane as a
sacrifice."
Ukyo gave him a worried look and hesitantly said "His dead master?"
"Yes. I hadn't believed it possible but recently I have come to suspect the dark lord may
yet rise again. Up until recently I had believed the age of magic had ended long ago. But then
that svengali came. He may not have been as powerful as the sorcerors of old but his powers
have been growing. When we first battled his speed was unnatural. No doubt enhanced by a spell
of some sort."
"If you haven't been paying attention all the martial artists around Nerima are unnaturaly
fast including you. I heard you shattered a rock from a distance with your bokken."
"Heh! But of course. Such a feat of streingth is a mere trifle for one such as myself.
However no ordinary man could best me in combat. Which is why he is a sorceror!"
It was like trying to talk to a tree. "Don't you think there's even a small possibility
that there could be more then one person with speed like yours?"
"Nay. There can only be one!"
"What does that mean?"
Kuno hadn't actually thought of that. He took on a quisical look on his face then looked
like he was trying really hard to think of an answer. "That's always how things are when it
comes to great swordsmen!"
"But Ran chan never used a sword!"
"It doesn't matter! There can only be one!" Kunos word was law and even reality would
bend to his will, at least in his mind anyway.
"Look I'm pretty fast myself! Am I sorceror?"
"The rule doesn't apply to you. You are a woman and you use a spatula not a sword."
Ukyo slammed her head on the table groaning in exasperation. "I didn't think even you
could be this dense!"
"Think about it you infernal woman! More recently he has used ever more powerful magical
attacks! I remember as clear as if it was yesterday he used a powerful wind spell to defeat me
in battle two years ago! Then I witnessed an even more powerful attack again when he fired a
beam of light from the palm of his hand. And what about how he can switch places with the
pigtailed goddess? How do you explain that wench? HMMMMMMMMMM?" Kuno had his face up against
hers. There was a certain crazed look in his eyes that wasn't there before Ranma and Akane left.
"I give up! You win! Just back up and give me some space!"
"Feh! But of course! Pointing out what is blatantly obvious to those as unobservant as
yourself is the duty of every true samurai! You may properly thank anytime which reminds me..."
"Kuno... there's a shape shifting trickster in my store sign. Could you go beat it up?"
"What! By the gods! Why didn't you say so earlier woman? I shall smite thee!" Kuno
crashed through the glass window causing ukyo to shudder. Tsubasa screamed as kuno chased him
away waving his bokken like a crazed mad man shouting "Hault fiend!". Ukyo couldn't help but
feel a little sorry for him though. He had lost the one thing he was building his fantasy
world around and now it had all come crashing down around him. Ukyo glanced down at a tabloid
one of her customers left that had a picture of a man in a demon costume robbing a bank.
It had a big flashy title that said "Hell needs money! Demon robs 1st Nerima bank!"
"I'm glad Kuno didn't see this." She crumpled it up and tossed it in the garbage.
Elsewhere
Three pathetic looking teenagers sat in the back of a black van. The vans walls were lined
with advanced computer and surveilance equipment. The three teenagers were Johnathan, Warren
and Andrew. All three of them were outcasts in high school. However they were talented outcasts.
Johnathan was a pudgy short guy with brown hair. His talent was reality manipulating spells.
Warren was a skinnier, taller guy who had little experience in magic but was a scientific genius
in areas ranging from robotics to physics. Andrew had red hair, he specialized in summoning
spells and could summon a variety of demons. They origenally lived in Sunnydale California. One
day on the same sort of whim ordinary people would decide to go to a movie they had decided to
conquor Sunnydale and later maybe even America or the world. Their first scheme was around
something that Warren had discovered when hacking some government files. They had succeeded in
stealing it from a secret government base in Nevada. It hadn't been an easy Job. Johnathan had
cast a spell that caused an earthquake while Andrew summoned as many demons as he could in the
area. While the soldiers guarding the base were distracted they had gone in armed with a
prototype freeze ray as well as several conventional weapons. They had found what they were
looking for and even managed to steal it. But it didn't take long for the governement to catch
up with them. They had to flee. First they went to Mexico and then stole wayed on a ship going
out to Japan.
"I can't believe we made it here! Your sure we aren't being tailed? I don't want to go to
the big house, that place changes a guy!" said Johnathan.
"Are we there yet? I have to go to the bathroom." whined Andrew in a very whiney voice.
"Shut up you two! Were almost back. Remember, there's no slayer here, and big brother
won't be expecting us to hide in a place like this. Once we get things secured this town will
be as good as ours." Warren pulled out a little remote and opened the door to a large car
garage they bought with their new money and were currently using as a base of operations.
The place was littered with all sorts of gizmos as well as magical books and objects.
On the left side of the room was a black boared that had the words goals written on it. Under
long term goals were "1.Get control of secret weapon 2.conquor Nerima,3.conquor Japan,
4.Invade California and make Buffy our slave. 5. conquor America and then the world muahahaha!"
Suddenly there was a loud bang on the door. "Oh no! It's the man! I know it is!"
Johnathan started to get ready to cast a spell to change his form.
Warren looked through a little hole he drilled in the door. "It's ok. It's our freind."
They opened the door and a seven foot tall reptillian humanoid came in. He tossed a large bag
full of yen on the ground."
"Here's your money. Now I want my end of the deal!" Andrew had summoned the demon but
none of them had talked with it about what it wanted.
"Uhhh...ok. So what do you want?"
"The slayers head!"
"Uhhh... just a moment!" the three of them huddled in a corner.
"We can't kill the slayer! She's back in California!" said Warren.
"Yeah besides I don't want to kill Buffy. She saved me one time.
"
"He's going to kill us if we don't do something!"
"Leave this to me!" Warren wrote down Buffys addresse and handed it to the demon.
"Here's Buffys addresse. You can go kill her yourself!"
The demon looked at him for a moment and said "Do I look stupid to you?"
"Uhhh... well I try not to judge people by appearances." The demon decked Warren.
"Listen. I may not be native to this dimension but I've been summoned to this world
enough times to be familiar with its geography. California is not in Japan!"
"What do you espect us to do?"
"Oh?!? You claim to weild such great power. Why don't you just kill her with a spell or
press a button and blow her up from a distance."
"Well.... maybe if you give us a few months...."
"Do it now or die!"
It was at this moment a man wearing a kendo outfit ran by the place chasing a restruant
sign. He looked in the open door and saw the demon. "You there! Spawn of hell I shall send you
back whenst you came!"
"What?" The demon turned around glaring at him. "What pathetic human dares insult me?"
"Ahhh.... Is it not the custom for one to introduce himself first? Very well then! I am
Tatewaki Kuno, often times called the blue thunder of Furinken high." thunder and lightning
crashed in the background. Of course Kuno had graduated from Furinken by
now but still called himself blue thunder of furinken high.
"Wow! He's so cool!" Andrew said in awe.
"An allie to the forces of good and a nightmare to creatures of darkness like yourself!"
"You talk big you puny little man! What good do you think that stick will do against me?"
The demon swiped at him but he blocked his blow and struck him in the gut. The demon keeled over.
"I didn't think any human besides the slayer had that kind of power! Just who are you?"
"Hahaha! As I have said on numerous occasions I am the blue thunder of Furinken high!"
"I won't lose to a filthy human!" the demon ran at him but kuno slashed down on him. The
thick armor covering his body cracked under the blow and he began to fall foreward. As thick
as his hide was he was still nowhere as good as the likes of Ranma at taking blows. Before the
demon hit the ground Kuno did his infamous water melon cutter attack aiming for the softer
skin under its chin beheading the demon.
" Me thinks there is more to this then meets the eye. No doubt this demon was summoned
by a foul sorceror!"
The trio was close enough to hear what he said. "How? How did he know?" Warren whispered
under his breath.
"He's a Jedi master! We should have stayed in sunnydale!" said Andrew.
"No he's a wudan master! He'd have a lightsabre if he was jedi!" said Johnathan.
"He's a jedi!"
"He's a wudan!"
"Jedi!"
"Wudan!"
"Jedi!"
"Wudan!"
"Shut up! He's a jedi wudan master ok!"
"What are you three talking about?"
"Oh....uhhhh we were just admiring how you took down that demon! It's always a pleasure
to meet a Jedi Wudan master!"
Kuno didn't know what a jedi or a wudan was since he had never watched many movies aside
from samurai dramas, but he was a master of many things so surely he must have mastered both of
those somewhere along the way. "Feh! Deafeating one so vile as that is nothing for the blue
thunder of Furinken high!" Kuno looked inside the garage. "What's in there?"
"Oh that? Were uhhhh...." Warren struggled for a lie.
"Were building a life sized replica of the melennium falcon!" said Andrew.
"Melennium Falcon? I have not heard of such a thing. Surely something with such a
majestic name is worthy of my collection. I would be interested in purchasing it from you when
you are done. But right now I must go, for even as I speak I sense that evil is afoot! I must
go on a quest to seek out the one who summoned that demon! I sense he is nearby watching my
every move even as I speak!" a few sweat drops appeared on the backs of the heads of the
three nerds. Kuno ran across the street and in a single bound he jumped onto the rooftop of a
nearby building and sprinted away from rooftop to rooftop.
"This could be a problem. A jedi wudan master could be an even greater threat to our plans
then the slayer." said Warren thoughtfully putting his hand to his chin. "How do you kill a
jedi wadun master?"
"I don't think we should kill him. I mean Lex Luthor never killed superman right?" Andrew
said.
"Not this debate again! Ok we won't kill him for now. First lets test out his abilitys!"
"He said he has a collection! I wonder if he has an X-wing fighter? Maybe we should like
go raid his house or something?" said Andrew dreamily.
"Are you crazy? We can't just go raid the house of a Jedi Wudan master?"
"You said the same thing about the government base we raided!"
"Yeah and look where it got us! Besides this is differen't, we don't have half the
mitoclorians it takes to defeat him!"
"Maybe, but our surpurior intelligence will give us the edge we need in the coming battle"
said Warren. "I'll get to work on designing a rapid firing blow gun just like the one Jade Fox
used on Lemu Bai right away! Now I wonder how I could make that poison she tipped the darts
with?"
"Yeah but remember! No killing! Lex Luthor never killed superman!" So much for surpurior
intelligence.