Kuno vs the fowl sorcerors
Ep 6: I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this: act 2
notes: For those unfamiliar with Inuyasha, a hanyou is a half demon.
Kuno hadn't slept very much the last night. He kept telling himself he was a warrior of
no equal, but deep in his heart he was afraid of what was to come the next day. He would never
admit it. Especially not to himself but what Sailor Moon had told him had scared him.
The mysterious phone call had confirmed her words. There were to many things that he hadn't
done yet. Kuno had always pictured himself growing up to marry Akane and the pig tailed girl,
and then going on to star in big budget Samurai movies. He had even written some scripts he
was thinking of sending in to some American producers. But all that seemed far away now.
"Samurai lone journey five" may never see the silver screen. And he may never see his two
loves again. But a true Samurai could not back down from the challenge. Kuno took his katana
and left for Furinken high.
Ukyo was just starting to open up her restruant when she saw an unexpected person walking
down the street. "Ran-chan! What are you doing here? Why are you dressed like that? Listen I'm
not sure if you heard, but Kuno's gone nuts! You probably shouldn't let him see you."
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."
"I know your Ranma Saotome you big dummy. I know I was a little upset about the whole
wedding deal but I'm over that now. How would you like an okonomiyaki on the house."
Ranma bots orders were to avoid any interaction with anyone besides Kuno. "I'm Ranma Sa-"
he smacked himself on the back of the head."What I meant to say was I'll be back!". He said
it in a perfect Arnold Schwartznegger voice. Then he bolted to the top of a telephone
pole and darted away from roof top too roof top heading for Furinken high.
"Ran chan! Why is he acting like this? He couldn't still be mad at me after all this time?"
Kuno nervously waited under the usual tree which he used to wait under to dual Ranma in
the past. "Why is it that I the blue thunder of Furiken high feel this way? Wait! Could it be
the villain used an under confidence curse on me? No! I must stay calm or this day shall be
my last!"
Kuno then noticed a small shadow on the sidewalk leading to school. It began to grow until
the form of Ranma clad in an outfit identicle to the one Neo wore in the matrix landed with
such force it sent shards of the shattered pavement flying into the air. The fake Ranma stood
up and said "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this!"
"Sorry! You think I would accept your apology after the villainy you wrought!You fiend!
You stole my two loves! You made sport of me with your vile magic! You even defiled one of my
noble weapons! For the honer of the Kuno clan and for the safety of the people of this great
nation, I Tatewaki Kuno, Blue thunder of Furinken high shall punish you!" lightning flashed
in the background.
Ranma stepped foreward "We don't have to do this you know. Join me!After all there is
always two, a master and an apprentice! You have been a worthy opponent, join me! It is
your destiny!"
"Never! How dare you think that one such as I would join one so lowly!"
"Kuno! I am your father!"
"No! That's impossible! My fathers in Hawaii!" Yet strangely it made sense to Kuno. Both
his father and Ranma had left at the same time. Both had been a thorn in his side for as long
as he knew them. "This....This cannot be!"
"Look in your heart! You know it to be true! Join me! We shall rule the galaxy, father and
son!" if Kuno hadn't been so distrought by the fake Ranma's statements he may have noticed that
the fake Ranma wasn't putting out any ki. But Kuno was in no state of mind to analyze this at
the moment.
"No!I am a jedi! i shall never join you!" Kuno still didn't know what a jedi was but it
seemed like the right thing to say.
"So be it, Jedi!" The fake Ranma grinned evilly as arcs of lightning came between his
hands. He let loose a blast of lightning. Foolishly Kuno tried to block it with his katana
but of course this only made him a better conductor. After the lightning blast he was
smoldering but still standing. Blades came out of Ranmas knuckles and he charged Kuno slashing
at him. Strangely Ranma seemed much slower then usual so Kuno was able to dodge him. Why was
he so much slower? He was more powerful so that speed spell he always used should work even
better. Maybe it mean't that his hard training had finnally paid off. He could finnally match
the speed of Ranmas spell. He could win this fight!
Kuno blocked a few more strikes from his metal claws and then jumped back just in time
as the Ranma bot opened its mouth and shot out a blast of flame. Kuno looked at the burn't
grass and said "You are truly a demon!"
"I am no mere demon. I am the darkness beyond twilight, the crimson beyond blood that
flows! I am Shabranigdo the king of all demons!" shouted the robot with a look of pure hatred
and evil on its face.
"The demon king! It cannot be! Then that means.... I am the son of a demon! But my mother
was human! I'm a hanyou!" Kuno fell to his knees in shock.
"I have no time to waste on a petulant child." he said in an imitation of Gendos voice.
"You see after years of observation I've come to the conclusion that humans aren't actually
mammals. You see they multiply, when they use up one areas natural resources they move on to
a new area. There's one other organsim that does this, a virus! I am the cure to that virus!"
This madman intended to wipe humanity from the face of the earth! He had to stop him!
Kuno grabbed his katana and used his multi strike technique. He focused on the robots chest.
The robot was knocked back but was still standing. There was a hole in his shirt and he had
pretty much destroyed any artificial skin that was there. But he hadn't managed to do any more
then that. Underneath it all was an armored endoskeliton. Inside the van Warren and Andrew
watched. "Not even he can destroy my robot. Thats two inches of adamantium coated with diamond,
With a protection spell on top of that!"
"Hey you think Ranma really is his father? He seemed to believe the robot."
"Wouldn't surprise me one bit. But we can deal with his dad later after the two towers
project is completed. Say where did Johnathan go?"
Kuno looked on in shock. All the other times they fought Ranma had dodged but this time he
didn't. "Like I said before. I can dodge bullets, and now I don't have to." Ranma shot another
blast of flame which Kuno dodged. The robot used it's rocket boosters and flew into the air
kneeing Kuno in the face. This time it imitated the voice of the emporor in Gladiator. "AM I
NOT MERCIFUL?" it shouted at Kuno.
Before Kuno could fall the robot caught him by the head and held him in the air hovering.
"I....fight..on..."
"You pesk me." he said imitating Kahns voice. Then he flung Kuno to the ground. The robot
extended one knuckle blade and shot down like a bullet impaling Kuno on the left shoulder.
"I know this hurts! Call out to John!"
"Never!" Kuno didn't know who this John person was but he wasn't about to call him. Maybe
John was the ring bearer. He was in too much pain to really give it much thought though.
"Let him go!" Ranma bot turned.
Warren was so surprised by what he saw he fell out of his chair spilling his mountain
dew all over his face! "What the hell? Was that Sailor Moon?"
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." said the robot as it turned to her.
The person appearing to be sailor moon shouted "I'm sailor Moon! I stand for truth and
justice! In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." The robot then uttered Xena warrior princess's war
cry and began back flipping towards her. Sailor Moon was muttering something under her breath
and waving her scepter. Suddenly a piano fell out of the sky and landed on top of the robot.
"No way! Sailor Moon never dropped pianos on people!" both Andrew and Warren shouted at
once with their faces pressed against the view screen.
Kuno propped himself up on his katana. "Sailor Moon. You saved me!" before Kuno could say
anymore the piano began to move. A single arm plowed up through the wood. The Ranma bot ripped
its way out from under the piano. "He is truly a demon!" Kuno said looking at it. The Ranma
bot looked back at him. Half of its face was ripped off exposing one glowing red eye similer to
the one Arnold had in Terminator.
"I need a vacation" the robot said in a perfect imitation of Arnolds voice.
"Ranma bot! Return at once! There has been a change of plans!"
"Legato Blue summers! Next time I will be the one hunting you!" the robot flew off into
the sky.
"Sailor Moon! I am truly grateful for your help! A token of my gratitude." Kuno pulled
her closer and kissed her on the lips. She burst into tears and ran away. "Truly an innocent
flower to be moved to tears by a kiss." It was then Kuno looked over at the piano. It looked
kind of familiar. "Must be coincedence" he told himself.
Nabiki had heard some noises and someone sounding like Kuno shouting. She headed off in
the direction. When she was almost to the high school a girl who looked and dressed exactly
like Sailor Moon ran passed her crying. "Who...?"
Then she saw Kuno, his clothes were tattered and there was a bloody hole in his shoulder.
"Nabiki Tendo! I fight on!" Kuno collapsed in front of her.
"Oh my god! Kuno! We need to call an ambulance!" What had happened here? Kuno had said
he was going to fight Ranma yesterday. Ranma couldn't have done this? Then Nabiki looked
over her shoulder in the direction she had seen the Sailor Moon girl go. She remembered
what Kuno had said earlier. "No....That's impossible!"
After washing his mouth out for ten minutes Johnathan came out of the bathroom. He had
transformed himself into Sailor Moon again to save Kuno. He even made his magic bone look like
her moon sceptor. He had used a teleportation spell to drop the piano on the robot. The only
problem is that the spell only worked with things he had seen before and there was only
one piano he could think of on such short notice. Well it was either his piano or his life
so he was sure Kuno wouldn't miss it. "Hey guys did I miss anything?"
Andrew and Warren were arguing about something. The Ranma bot was sitting on the lab table
fixing its face. "I'm telling you! She's pissed because you raided those sailor moon pantys! You
should give them to me for safe keeping until this is over!" said Andrew.
"No their mine! Women are always ruining my plans! Well I'll show her! I'll show her!
She's no match for my genius! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Warren laughed madly still clutching his Sailor
Moon pantys. Johnathan had a bad feeling about this.
Ep 6: I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this: act 2
notes: For those unfamiliar with Inuyasha, a hanyou is a half demon.
Kuno hadn't slept very much the last night. He kept telling himself he was a warrior of
no equal, but deep in his heart he was afraid of what was to come the next day. He would never
admit it. Especially not to himself but what Sailor Moon had told him had scared him.
The mysterious phone call had confirmed her words. There were to many things that he hadn't
done yet. Kuno had always pictured himself growing up to marry Akane and the pig tailed girl,
and then going on to star in big budget Samurai movies. He had even written some scripts he
was thinking of sending in to some American producers. But all that seemed far away now.
"Samurai lone journey five" may never see the silver screen. And he may never see his two
loves again. But a true Samurai could not back down from the challenge. Kuno took his katana
and left for Furinken high.
Ukyo was just starting to open up her restruant when she saw an unexpected person walking
down the street. "Ran-chan! What are you doing here? Why are you dressed like that? Listen I'm
not sure if you heard, but Kuno's gone nuts! You probably shouldn't let him see you."
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this."
"I know your Ranma Saotome you big dummy. I know I was a little upset about the whole
wedding deal but I'm over that now. How would you like an okonomiyaki on the house."
Ranma bots orders were to avoid any interaction with anyone besides Kuno. "I'm Ranma Sa-"
he smacked himself on the back of the head."What I meant to say was I'll be back!". He said
it in a perfect Arnold Schwartznegger voice. Then he bolted to the top of a telephone
pole and darted away from roof top too roof top heading for Furinken high.
"Ran chan! Why is he acting like this? He couldn't still be mad at me after all this time?"
Kuno nervously waited under the usual tree which he used to wait under to dual Ranma in
the past. "Why is it that I the blue thunder of Furiken high feel this way? Wait! Could it be
the villain used an under confidence curse on me? No! I must stay calm or this day shall be
my last!"
Kuno then noticed a small shadow on the sidewalk leading to school. It began to grow until
the form of Ranma clad in an outfit identicle to the one Neo wore in the matrix landed with
such force it sent shards of the shattered pavement flying into the air. The fake Ranma stood
up and said "I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this!"
"Sorry! You think I would accept your apology after the villainy you wrought!You fiend!
You stole my two loves! You made sport of me with your vile magic! You even defiled one of my
noble weapons! For the honer of the Kuno clan and for the safety of the people of this great
nation, I Tatewaki Kuno, Blue thunder of Furinken high shall punish you!" lightning flashed
in the background.
Ranma stepped foreward "We don't have to do this you know. Join me!After all there is
always two, a master and an apprentice! You have been a worthy opponent, join me! It is
your destiny!"
"Never! How dare you think that one such as I would join one so lowly!"
"Kuno! I am your father!"
"No! That's impossible! My fathers in Hawaii!" Yet strangely it made sense to Kuno. Both
his father and Ranma had left at the same time. Both had been a thorn in his side for as long
as he knew them. "This....This cannot be!"
"Look in your heart! You know it to be true! Join me! We shall rule the galaxy, father and
son!" if Kuno hadn't been so distrought by the fake Ranma's statements he may have noticed that
the fake Ranma wasn't putting out any ki. But Kuno was in no state of mind to analyze this at
the moment.
"No!I am a jedi! i shall never join you!" Kuno still didn't know what a jedi was but it
seemed like the right thing to say.
"So be it, Jedi!" The fake Ranma grinned evilly as arcs of lightning came between his
hands. He let loose a blast of lightning. Foolishly Kuno tried to block it with his katana
but of course this only made him a better conductor. After the lightning blast he was
smoldering but still standing. Blades came out of Ranmas knuckles and he charged Kuno slashing
at him. Strangely Ranma seemed much slower then usual so Kuno was able to dodge him. Why was
he so much slower? He was more powerful so that speed spell he always used should work even
better. Maybe it mean't that his hard training had finnally paid off. He could finnally match
the speed of Ranmas spell. He could win this fight!
Kuno blocked a few more strikes from his metal claws and then jumped back just in time
as the Ranma bot opened its mouth and shot out a blast of flame. Kuno looked at the burn't
grass and said "You are truly a demon!"
"I am no mere demon. I am the darkness beyond twilight, the crimson beyond blood that
flows! I am Shabranigdo the king of all demons!" shouted the robot with a look of pure hatred
and evil on its face.
"The demon king! It cannot be! Then that means.... I am the son of a demon! But my mother
was human! I'm a hanyou!" Kuno fell to his knees in shock.
"I have no time to waste on a petulant child." he said in an imitation of Gendos voice.
"You see after years of observation I've come to the conclusion that humans aren't actually
mammals. You see they multiply, when they use up one areas natural resources they move on to
a new area. There's one other organsim that does this, a virus! I am the cure to that virus!"
This madman intended to wipe humanity from the face of the earth! He had to stop him!
Kuno grabbed his katana and used his multi strike technique. He focused on the robots chest.
The robot was knocked back but was still standing. There was a hole in his shirt and he had
pretty much destroyed any artificial skin that was there. But he hadn't managed to do any more
then that. Underneath it all was an armored endoskeliton. Inside the van Warren and Andrew
watched. "Not even he can destroy my robot. Thats two inches of adamantium coated with diamond,
With a protection spell on top of that!"
"Hey you think Ranma really is his father? He seemed to believe the robot."
"Wouldn't surprise me one bit. But we can deal with his dad later after the two towers
project is completed. Say where did Johnathan go?"
Kuno looked on in shock. All the other times they fought Ranma had dodged but this time he
didn't. "Like I said before. I can dodge bullets, and now I don't have to." Ranma shot another
blast of flame which Kuno dodged. The robot used it's rocket boosters and flew into the air
kneeing Kuno in the face. This time it imitated the voice of the emporor in Gladiator. "AM I
NOT MERCIFUL?" it shouted at Kuno.
Before Kuno could fall the robot caught him by the head and held him in the air hovering.
"I....fight..on..."
"You pesk me." he said imitating Kahns voice. Then he flung Kuno to the ground. The robot
extended one knuckle blade and shot down like a bullet impaling Kuno on the left shoulder.
"I know this hurts! Call out to John!"
"Never!" Kuno didn't know who this John person was but he wasn't about to call him. Maybe
John was the ring bearer. He was in too much pain to really give it much thought though.
"Let him go!" Ranma bot turned.
Warren was so surprised by what he saw he fell out of his chair spilling his mountain
dew all over his face! "What the hell? Was that Sailor Moon?"
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." said the robot as it turned to her.
The person appearing to be sailor moon shouted "I'm sailor Moon! I stand for truth and
justice! In the name of the moon, I shall punish you!"
"I'm Ranma Saotome. Sorry about this." The robot then uttered Xena warrior princess's war
cry and began back flipping towards her. Sailor Moon was muttering something under her breath
and waving her scepter. Suddenly a piano fell out of the sky and landed on top of the robot.
"No way! Sailor Moon never dropped pianos on people!" both Andrew and Warren shouted at
once with their faces pressed against the view screen.
Kuno propped himself up on his katana. "Sailor Moon. You saved me!" before Kuno could say
anymore the piano began to move. A single arm plowed up through the wood. The Ranma bot ripped
its way out from under the piano. "He is truly a demon!" Kuno said looking at it. The Ranma
bot looked back at him. Half of its face was ripped off exposing one glowing red eye similer to
the one Arnold had in Terminator.
"I need a vacation" the robot said in a perfect imitation of Arnolds voice.
"Ranma bot! Return at once! There has been a change of plans!"
"Legato Blue summers! Next time I will be the one hunting you!" the robot flew off into
the sky.
"Sailor Moon! I am truly grateful for your help! A token of my gratitude." Kuno pulled
her closer and kissed her on the lips. She burst into tears and ran away. "Truly an innocent
flower to be moved to tears by a kiss." It was then Kuno looked over at the piano. It looked
kind of familiar. "Must be coincedence" he told himself.
Nabiki had heard some noises and someone sounding like Kuno shouting. She headed off in
the direction. When she was almost to the high school a girl who looked and dressed exactly
like Sailor Moon ran passed her crying. "Who...?"
Then she saw Kuno, his clothes were tattered and there was a bloody hole in his shoulder.
"Nabiki Tendo! I fight on!" Kuno collapsed in front of her.
"Oh my god! Kuno! We need to call an ambulance!" What had happened here? Kuno had said
he was going to fight Ranma yesterday. Ranma couldn't have done this? Then Nabiki looked
over her shoulder in the direction she had seen the Sailor Moon girl go. She remembered
what Kuno had said earlier. "No....That's impossible!"
After washing his mouth out for ten minutes Johnathan came out of the bathroom. He had
transformed himself into Sailor Moon again to save Kuno. He even made his magic bone look like
her moon sceptor. He had used a teleportation spell to drop the piano on the robot. The only
problem is that the spell only worked with things he had seen before and there was only
one piano he could think of on such short notice. Well it was either his piano or his life
so he was sure Kuno wouldn't miss it. "Hey guys did I miss anything?"
Andrew and Warren were arguing about something. The Ranma bot was sitting on the lab table
fixing its face. "I'm telling you! She's pissed because you raided those sailor moon pantys! You
should give them to me for safe keeping until this is over!" said Andrew.
"No their mine! Women are always ruining my plans! Well I'll show her! I'll show her!
She's no match for my genius! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Warren laughed madly still clutching his Sailor
Moon pantys. Johnathan had a bad feeling about this.