Final Fantasy VIII: In a Nutshell
Disclaimer: Here's a disclaimer...post HERE. Oh, haha haha, you can't! nana nana Boo Boo! BTW, this is on FF 8, you know in numerals the little V I I I, well put those together! BEWARE, you need SOME degree of math to learn Roman Numerals!!! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED. Please do not hurt me (i.e. Squaresoft and PlayOnline) I just- Ahhh well.
~0~0~0~0~0~
PART I:
(Squall In Hospital Bed)
Squall: Damn you Seifer! Why do you have to scratch so haaaard *whines* with your little panzy gunblade!
Seifer: Whatchya calling panzy gunblade! *Mutters and leaves as Quistis approaches*
Quistis Trepe: Jeez, i'm really sorry bout that cut and all, i really am *Rolls Eyes* but you have to pass your SeeD exams. Well, that's all. Oh yea, feel free to tour the building like you've never seen it before in your life even though you have, so don't let me keep you waiting!
Squall: ....Ooookkkaaay, OUCH! My scar! Why right over my eye!?
(Squall looks around for the fiftieth tim in his life and oohs and ahhhs like he never has!)
Squall: Ohhh! the dorms! Ahhh! The Cafeteria!
(See?...He enters the cafeteria to find everyone complaining (typically) of the food!)
Random Person #1: D...Do you have any...hot dogs left?
Lunch Lady #1: NO! WE'RE ALL OUT! GET OUT OF HERE!
*Random Person #1 runs through the doors*
Squall: Hmph, better get to the classroom so I can get my Shiva Junction, only to be interrupted by Quistis who wants me to sacrifice my life on a test that isn't even worth it!
(Now at computer in Classroom)
Freaky Computer Voice: Junction Withdrawn!
Squall: YEA! My computer skills pay off! *fizz fizz, buzz wrrr* *EXPLODE*
Squall:Yikeees! Quistis is gonna kill-
Quistis Trepe (again): WHAT THE HELL! MY COMPUTERS- I mean, I want you to go to the Fire Caverns, so meet me downstairs when you want to leave...
Squall: Sorry, I-I
Quistis: QUITE!
(Down at the Front Gates)
Quistis: Ready to go yet? This is going to be hard, yada yada yada, I want you to have this *GF FORCE ACQUIRED!*
Screaming boy: AHHHHH! They're out to get me! AHHH!
Quistis: Baja! Wai-Hold on Squall!-Wait wait wait ait it i
Squall: Whatever, i am gonna let my curiosity take over as usual now and I am going to go into a dangerous situation, only to be confronted by monsters and a fierce fire boss! Coooool!
(Slays Ifrit, because the story has to continue of course.)
Squall: YAY! My preppy skills got me somewhere! *Trips over nearby rocks and nearly falls into bubbling lava*
Ifrit: YAhHAHYAHY! LEMME GO! YAHAAHARRGGGHH!
(Squall is now on the Assult Boat for the Field Exams where he pisses of Zell, cooool)
Squall: Hey Zell, you're a sissy! Don't take any offense, I had to say that so we could not like each other for the rest of the game!
Zell: Pussy!
(They dock at Dollet)
Squall: OK, so all I have to do is wait here until the army arrives which is really stupid since an army is very large and we are puny?
Seifer: ...yea...
Squall: I hope that little fight we had won't make a lasting impression on our friendship, no pun intended o_O
Seifer: Well DUH! Then there won't be a cool bad guy and rival to fight with before you beat the game!
Squall: Oh.
(The Galbadian Army arrive and the city is in flames from their terror, typical yet again)
Squall: I'm bored! *Bomb blasts off in the background*
Zell: HEY! Let's check out that suspicious tower in the distance! It might be fun!
Squall: OK, but as my part is the center of right and wrong, I have to warn you...It might be dangerous!
Zell: Bah, Humbug!
*The party runs up the Comm. Tower to battle some very familar characters...?)
Squall: BIGGS AND WEDGE! How are they? All i know is that i have to say their names!
Biigs and Wedge: Hahaha, we will kill you!
(Fight sequence, bang bang, clank clank...the foes run; Elvoret appears)
Selphie: UGH! To hell with this!
Zell: Ahhh! Run! My nails are chipped!
Squall: RUN!
(Elvoret falls off the tower as he laughed histerically and dies in a pile of-)
*Large, Mechanical Spider crawls through after useless cut-scene.*
Squall: AHH! RUN AGAIN!
(They run and make it. Because of the plot, they make it.)
(I.)(When the party makes it alive and Dlooet is safe, they go to Zell's mother's house!)
Ma Dincht: Oh Zell! What a surprise, are these your friends? i made some pot-pies my little sugar-plumb!
Zell: Ma..-
Ma Dincht: I also made a batch of axel-grease cookies (Long pause-continues). Good for the hearts good for the soul, my little ginger-bread man! i still have pictures of you in that one play...uhhh, Oh yes! "MACHO MEN MANIA" *hums- "Macho, macho, mania, it is raining men today, all over the city"*
Zell: MOTHER! THAT'S IT! WE'RE LEAVING, N O W!
Ma Dincht: Ohhh, i guess all these poor cookie-lettes will just have to be burned! BURN BABY! *Holds out cookies towards the fireplace knowing he will think again soon*
Zell: WAIT! Maybe we'll have...just a couple.
(The party return to Balamb Garden after nearly being killed...now what kind of school would do something like that! How sick!)