Kuno vs the foul sorcerors
Ep 11: you wascawy wabbit!
It had been nearly a day since Kuno, Johnathan and Haruko arrived in China. "I'm
begining to think I would have been better off without a guide on this planet. Look where
you people got me!"
"Fear not! The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure. We have made it to China. It cannot
be long before master Yoda is found!" Of course China did happen to be one of the largest countrys
in the world. But Kuno wouldn't let a little thing like geography get in the way of the blue
thunder!
"Whatever Taro Kun. It's late I'm going to bed!" Haruko pulled a sleeping bag out from
somewhere. Johnathan wondered where she had kept that. There was no room on the vespa for any
other stuff with all of them piled on.
"Say. Your some kind of alien right!?! So tell me, how is the political stability in the
New Republic?"
"Ask him. I'm going to bed."
"We don't have any place to sleep. Can we uhhh..."
"Not in a million years you lecherous little monkey. Besides three people couldn't fit."
Kuno was beating around the bushes with the golf club he had gotten from the air port.
"Real men need no such conveniences! Have at thee fiend!" He chopped down some trees with
his golf club. Kuno despite anything he might say was not an experienced outdoorsman. The fire
had been dying down so he was gathering fire wood so that they wouldn't get too cold in the
night. Kuno dragged one of the trees he had just chopped down to the fire. Of course given that
they were lost in some obscure wilderness area of China the whole place was very damp. With a
heave Kuno smashed the huge log down on the fire completely putting it out.
"Glad I'm not vulnerable to cold temperatures like you monkeys. Good night." Haruko began
to snore.
"Uhhhh....so where should we sleep?" asked Johnathan.
"I shall go slay some trees so that we may make a bed of lumber!"
"I know some magic spells. I'll try to change them into something we can sleep on. But I
have to warn you, I'm still not 100% confident in my more complex transformation spells."
"Ahhh! Indeed young hobbit you are one of the children from the age of magic. Very well
then! I have the utmost confidence in you abilities!" Johnathan began to chant and wave his
magic bone at the pile of logs. The logs vanished. "Where did they go?"
"Uhoh. I think I did the wrong spell. I just can't concetrate when its this cold out."
Johnathan poked around until he found what he was looking for. The logs were on the other side
of the camp fire. "Yeah, I really messed up. I changed the logs into wood!"
In the morning
Haruko yawned and got up. "That was a pretty good sleep!" Kuno and Johnathan were both
sitting by a new fire with dark circles around their eyes.
"Young hobbits sorcery needs practice..." Kuno muttered. Haruko looked over at a pile of
logs which had sprouted furr and feathers. One of them had changed into rubber.
"So what's for breakfast?"
"Uhhh... well we thought that since you got that sleeping bag out of nowhere maybe you
had some food too." said Johnathan.
"Nope. Completely fogot to bring any!" Haruko said beaming at them.
"Very well then! I shall go slay us a beast! Tend to the fire woman, until I return!"
Haruko slammed her guitar into his face sending him flying into a tree.
"Well go slay it already!"
"Infernal woman!" Kuno muttered wandering off into the forest. He was too burned out to
try to fight her right now. He came to a clearing and a white bunny rabbit sat in the middle
of it. "Ahhh! The beast hath emerged! I must say that I hold no graudge against you or your
kin, however if we are to survive one of us must perish! Have at thee fiend!"
Kuno ran towards the rabbit which dove down a hole.
"What cowardly battle tactics are you engaging in? Fight me like a man, vermin from hell
, I shall smite thee!" Kuno crouched next to the hole and put his face up to it. The rabbit
came out of another hole behind him. it head butted Kunos behind causing him to plunge head
first into the hole. His legs flayed back and forth helplessly as he uttered all sorts of
curses. Kunos hands searched around until he found the golf club. He used his multistrike
technique to shatter the ground in front of him. He broke away from the hole.
"That was no ordinary rabbit! No doubt one of Saotomes minions trying to drag me
straight to hell! I shall not be defeated by you!" Kuno went nuts attacking the ground.
The rabbit would occaisionally poke its head out of a hole. Kuno would strike at the ground
and the rabbit would pop out of another hole.
"I must admit! You are a worthier foe then I had expected! But be it one, hole or a
thousand! Your head shall meet my cold samurai steel in the end! You cannot hide forever
hell spawn!" The ground caved in under Kunos feet getting his legs stuck two feet into the
ground.
"Where's Taro kun? I wonder if he got anything to eat."
"Don't worry. He's a jedi wudan master! Getting food should be easy for him."
Kuno walked over to the fire carrying what looked like an arm full of carrots. An angry
looking rabbit was sneaking around in the bushes about ten feet behind him.
"Saotome ambushed me with a lesser demon. But I have vanquished the villain and pillaged his
spoils. No doubt he made countless innocents pay tribute to his dark master with carrots!"
"I was hoping you'd get a rabbit or something Taro kun."
"Feh! To eat such a creature as a rabbit! It is beneath me!" Kuno began to attempt to
roast one of the carrots over the fire with a stick.
Not to far away three musk warriors were running. "Hahahaha! Lord Herb will promote us to
gennerals once he sees what we have!"
"Unhand me at once you beasts! This means war!" a young voice shouted inside the bundle.
Suddenly a white rabbit darted out in front of the musk warriors. They didn't know why but they
felt they should stop for it.
"Uhhhh..." The rabbit made an odd gesture with its head as if motioning for them to follow
it.
"Think we should?"
"I don't see why not."
Johnathan bit into a burn't carrot. "You never appreaciate fast food and mountain dew
until its gone! Wow! More aliens! I didn't know so many aliens lived in China!" Behind Kuno
stood a large hairy man and two guys with cat ears. "Wow! Are you a wookie?" Johnathan
asked the large hairy man.
Of course the musk warriors only understood Chinese and didn't understand a thing he
said. The hairy man muttered something to the other two and they both laughed a bit.
"You there ape man! I seek to train under master Yoda! Reveal his location to us at once."
The hairy man said something in Chinese and laughed. He picked up a huge metal spiked
club at his side. "Ummmm I know some Chinese. Let me se if I can translate."
Johnathan said some stuff in Chinese to them. The hairy man looked taken aback, maybe
even a little insulted. Both the cat people burst out laughing and pointing at him. "What
did you say to them young hoobit?"
"I just asked where we were."
What Johnathan really said translated to this "Your mother chases her tail. I like how
you smell like a woman. May I rub this fish oil on your butt?" The hairy man screamed in rage
and raised his club. Kuno readied in defense but there was no need. Before any of them
could react Haruko slammed her bass guitar down on the hairy mans head. He fell down out
cold. The other two tried to run away but she smashed them on the head too. Haruko examined
their heads. "Awwww! This is no good! You guys are useless! I'm better off without a stupid
Taro kun guide! I'm leaving you both here!"
"Wait! Please don't go Ms Kryptonian! I don't want to be lost in China!" Johnathan said
all panicky. But before he could say anymore a kid forced his way out of the bundle. He looked
to be about twelve. Haruko looked at him and said "Hmmmmm" she grined evilly.
It had only been a few years since Saffrons rebirth but because he was part god he grew
extra fast. In fact the time nearing for him to go to jusynkyo to transform yet again. But
before that could happen he and Kimma had been intercepted by those bastards on the way there.
He wondered what happened to Kiima. The last he saw her she had fallen into cold water and
changed into her human form. The surpurior running speed of his captors made it impossible
for her to catch up. But before he could wonder anymore he felt his head connecting with
a blunt object moving at very high speeds. "YOOOOWWWW!" Saffron clutched his head in pain.
"What the hell did you hit me for!?!" Saffron shouted at them in Japanese.
"I needed your head." Haruko walked over and began shaking him uside down. "Why won't
the stupid thing come out?"
"Put me down you maniac! When Kiima gets back you'll be sorry!" Haruko tossed
Saffron aside.
"Just a useless kid! It won't come out!"
Saffron got up "I'm not a kid. I'm the king of the phoenix tribe!"
"Your a kid, and a whiney one at that!" Saffron balled up his fists.
"Stupid woman!"
"Never mind the antics of the guitar waving bunny girl. She is a creature of mystery
and hostility. Young ones such as yourself should not associate with her. Now reveal to me
the location of master Yoda at once!"
Saffron looked at Kuno with a look of annoyance on his face. "I'm not a kid! I'm older
then you!"
"Hahaha! Ahhh youth! I to remember those days."
"Don't you patronize me you imbicile!" Saffron kicked Kuno in the shin and ran.
"Insolent welp! I shall chastize you!" Haruko bashed Kuno over the head.
"Leave it."
"But if I spare the golf club the child shall surely be spoiled!"
"Look!" a small bump was appearing on Saffrons head.
"What of it?"
"Nothing. What's your name kid?"
"I'm lord Saffron of the Phoenix tribe."
"Ok from now on your ummmm...Saffy kun!"
"Saffy.....?" a vain had formed on his fore head not to far away from the bump. "Just you
wait until I transform. Then you people will show me some respect."
"Your heads not as good as I hoped. But it is better then these two." Haruko put a hand
on his shoulder and smiled. Saffron didn't know what she meant but he felt a little embarrassed
and blushed slightly.
"Uh thanks... I think."
"Don't mention it. Lets go help these idiots find that yoda person."
They were an unlikely bunch. Kuno looked around, yes they were the new fellowship of
the ring! Each of them representing one of the current races of earth. The hanyou, the hobbit
, the alien and whatever the hell that winged brat was. "Wait! We have no humans in our group!
The fellowship is incomplete!"
"What are you rambling about Taro kun? I thought you were human!"
"Nay! I am an accursed hanyou! We must get a human representative to complete the
fellowship!"
"He's right. I thought I was human but I'm a hobbit."
Unknown to them they were being watched by a white rabbit. It glared at the back side
of Tatewaki Kuno the Blue thunder of Furinken high with pure unrestrained hatred. He would pay
for defiling his sacred stash of carrots. The new fellowship of the ring had made its first
encounter with one of its greatest foes.
Ep 11: you wascawy wabbit!
It had been nearly a day since Kuno, Johnathan and Haruko arrived in China. "I'm
begining to think I would have been better off without a guide on this planet. Look where
you people got me!"
"Fear not! The vengeance of heaven is slow but sure. We have made it to China. It cannot
be long before master Yoda is found!" Of course China did happen to be one of the largest countrys
in the world. But Kuno wouldn't let a little thing like geography get in the way of the blue
thunder!
"Whatever Taro Kun. It's late I'm going to bed!" Haruko pulled a sleeping bag out from
somewhere. Johnathan wondered where she had kept that. There was no room on the vespa for any
other stuff with all of them piled on.
"Say. Your some kind of alien right!?! So tell me, how is the political stability in the
New Republic?"
"Ask him. I'm going to bed."
"We don't have any place to sleep. Can we uhhh..."
"Not in a million years you lecherous little monkey. Besides three people couldn't fit."
Kuno was beating around the bushes with the golf club he had gotten from the air port.
"Real men need no such conveniences! Have at thee fiend!" He chopped down some trees with
his golf club. Kuno despite anything he might say was not an experienced outdoorsman. The fire
had been dying down so he was gathering fire wood so that they wouldn't get too cold in the
night. Kuno dragged one of the trees he had just chopped down to the fire. Of course given that
they were lost in some obscure wilderness area of China the whole place was very damp. With a
heave Kuno smashed the huge log down on the fire completely putting it out.
"Glad I'm not vulnerable to cold temperatures like you monkeys. Good night." Haruko began
to snore.
"Uhhhh....so where should we sleep?" asked Johnathan.
"I shall go slay some trees so that we may make a bed of lumber!"
"I know some magic spells. I'll try to change them into something we can sleep on. But I
have to warn you, I'm still not 100% confident in my more complex transformation spells."
"Ahhh! Indeed young hobbit you are one of the children from the age of magic. Very well
then! I have the utmost confidence in you abilities!" Johnathan began to chant and wave his
magic bone at the pile of logs. The logs vanished. "Where did they go?"
"Uhoh. I think I did the wrong spell. I just can't concetrate when its this cold out."
Johnathan poked around until he found what he was looking for. The logs were on the other side
of the camp fire. "Yeah, I really messed up. I changed the logs into wood!"
In the morning
Haruko yawned and got up. "That was a pretty good sleep!" Kuno and Johnathan were both
sitting by a new fire with dark circles around their eyes.
"Young hobbits sorcery needs practice..." Kuno muttered. Haruko looked over at a pile of
logs which had sprouted furr and feathers. One of them had changed into rubber.
"So what's for breakfast?"
"Uhhh... well we thought that since you got that sleeping bag out of nowhere maybe you
had some food too." said Johnathan.
"Nope. Completely fogot to bring any!" Haruko said beaming at them.
"Very well then! I shall go slay us a beast! Tend to the fire woman, until I return!"
Haruko slammed her guitar into his face sending him flying into a tree.
"Well go slay it already!"
"Infernal woman!" Kuno muttered wandering off into the forest. He was too burned out to
try to fight her right now. He came to a clearing and a white bunny rabbit sat in the middle
of it. "Ahhh! The beast hath emerged! I must say that I hold no graudge against you or your
kin, however if we are to survive one of us must perish! Have at thee fiend!"
Kuno ran towards the rabbit which dove down a hole.
"What cowardly battle tactics are you engaging in? Fight me like a man, vermin from hell
, I shall smite thee!" Kuno crouched next to the hole and put his face up to it. The rabbit
came out of another hole behind him. it head butted Kunos behind causing him to plunge head
first into the hole. His legs flayed back and forth helplessly as he uttered all sorts of
curses. Kunos hands searched around until he found the golf club. He used his multistrike
technique to shatter the ground in front of him. He broke away from the hole.
"That was no ordinary rabbit! No doubt one of Saotomes minions trying to drag me
straight to hell! I shall not be defeated by you!" Kuno went nuts attacking the ground.
The rabbit would occaisionally poke its head out of a hole. Kuno would strike at the ground
and the rabbit would pop out of another hole.
"I must admit! You are a worthier foe then I had expected! But be it one, hole or a
thousand! Your head shall meet my cold samurai steel in the end! You cannot hide forever
hell spawn!" The ground caved in under Kunos feet getting his legs stuck two feet into the
ground.
"Where's Taro kun? I wonder if he got anything to eat."
"Don't worry. He's a jedi wudan master! Getting food should be easy for him."
Kuno walked over to the fire carrying what looked like an arm full of carrots. An angry
looking rabbit was sneaking around in the bushes about ten feet behind him.
"Saotome ambushed me with a lesser demon. But I have vanquished the villain and pillaged his
spoils. No doubt he made countless innocents pay tribute to his dark master with carrots!"
"I was hoping you'd get a rabbit or something Taro kun."
"Feh! To eat such a creature as a rabbit! It is beneath me!" Kuno began to attempt to
roast one of the carrots over the fire with a stick.
Not to far away three musk warriors were running. "Hahahaha! Lord Herb will promote us to
gennerals once he sees what we have!"
"Unhand me at once you beasts! This means war!" a young voice shouted inside the bundle.
Suddenly a white rabbit darted out in front of the musk warriors. They didn't know why but they
felt they should stop for it.
"Uhhhh..." The rabbit made an odd gesture with its head as if motioning for them to follow
it.
"Think we should?"
"I don't see why not."
Johnathan bit into a burn't carrot. "You never appreaciate fast food and mountain dew
until its gone! Wow! More aliens! I didn't know so many aliens lived in China!" Behind Kuno
stood a large hairy man and two guys with cat ears. "Wow! Are you a wookie?" Johnathan
asked the large hairy man.
Of course the musk warriors only understood Chinese and didn't understand a thing he
said. The hairy man muttered something to the other two and they both laughed a bit.
"You there ape man! I seek to train under master Yoda! Reveal his location to us at once."
The hairy man said something in Chinese and laughed. He picked up a huge metal spiked
club at his side. "Ummmm I know some Chinese. Let me se if I can translate."
Johnathan said some stuff in Chinese to them. The hairy man looked taken aback, maybe
even a little insulted. Both the cat people burst out laughing and pointing at him. "What
did you say to them young hoobit?"
"I just asked where we were."
What Johnathan really said translated to this "Your mother chases her tail. I like how
you smell like a woman. May I rub this fish oil on your butt?" The hairy man screamed in rage
and raised his club. Kuno readied in defense but there was no need. Before any of them
could react Haruko slammed her bass guitar down on the hairy mans head. He fell down out
cold. The other two tried to run away but she smashed them on the head too. Haruko examined
their heads. "Awwww! This is no good! You guys are useless! I'm better off without a stupid
Taro kun guide! I'm leaving you both here!"
"Wait! Please don't go Ms Kryptonian! I don't want to be lost in China!" Johnathan said
all panicky. But before he could say anymore a kid forced his way out of the bundle. He looked
to be about twelve. Haruko looked at him and said "Hmmmmm" she grined evilly.
It had only been a few years since Saffrons rebirth but because he was part god he grew
extra fast. In fact the time nearing for him to go to jusynkyo to transform yet again. But
before that could happen he and Kimma had been intercepted by those bastards on the way there.
He wondered what happened to Kiima. The last he saw her she had fallen into cold water and
changed into her human form. The surpurior running speed of his captors made it impossible
for her to catch up. But before he could wonder anymore he felt his head connecting with
a blunt object moving at very high speeds. "YOOOOWWWW!" Saffron clutched his head in pain.
"What the hell did you hit me for!?!" Saffron shouted at them in Japanese.
"I needed your head." Haruko walked over and began shaking him uside down. "Why won't
the stupid thing come out?"
"Put me down you maniac! When Kiima gets back you'll be sorry!" Haruko tossed
Saffron aside.
"Just a useless kid! It won't come out!"
Saffron got up "I'm not a kid. I'm the king of the phoenix tribe!"
"Your a kid, and a whiney one at that!" Saffron balled up his fists.
"Stupid woman!"
"Never mind the antics of the guitar waving bunny girl. She is a creature of mystery
and hostility. Young ones such as yourself should not associate with her. Now reveal to me
the location of master Yoda at once!"
Saffron looked at Kuno with a look of annoyance on his face. "I'm not a kid! I'm older
then you!"
"Hahaha! Ahhh youth! I to remember those days."
"Don't you patronize me you imbicile!" Saffron kicked Kuno in the shin and ran.
"Insolent welp! I shall chastize you!" Haruko bashed Kuno over the head.
"Leave it."
"But if I spare the golf club the child shall surely be spoiled!"
"Look!" a small bump was appearing on Saffrons head.
"What of it?"
"Nothing. What's your name kid?"
"I'm lord Saffron of the Phoenix tribe."
"Ok from now on your ummmm...Saffy kun!"
"Saffy.....?" a vain had formed on his fore head not to far away from the bump. "Just you
wait until I transform. Then you people will show me some respect."
"Your heads not as good as I hoped. But it is better then these two." Haruko put a hand
on his shoulder and smiled. Saffron didn't know what she meant but he felt a little embarrassed
and blushed slightly.
"Uh thanks... I think."
"Don't mention it. Lets go help these idiots find that yoda person."
They were an unlikely bunch. Kuno looked around, yes they were the new fellowship of
the ring! Each of them representing one of the current races of earth. The hanyou, the hobbit
, the alien and whatever the hell that winged brat was. "Wait! We have no humans in our group!
The fellowship is incomplete!"
"What are you rambling about Taro kun? I thought you were human!"
"Nay! I am an accursed hanyou! We must get a human representative to complete the
fellowship!"
"He's right. I thought I was human but I'm a hobbit."
Unknown to them they were being watched by a white rabbit. It glared at the back side
of Tatewaki Kuno the Blue thunder of Furinken high with pure unrestrained hatred. He would pay
for defiling his sacred stash of carrots. The new fellowship of the ring had made its first
encounter with one of its greatest foes.