A/N: So I just asked my grandpa for the Two Towers soundtrack and the Riddlin' Kids CD. They're a local band, although my grandpa didn't listen to me when I said it was local, so he's going to look for it in Georgia. Just shows where I get my impatience from...

I'm reading Artemis Fowl and it's pretty good so far... I'll have to get one for myself one of these days. I had to filch it from my mom's room so I could read it.

Again... I took some stuff from that girl who wrote about Legolas being called a princess when he was a preteen. Mind the spiders...

Lady of the Ring
or
A Fangirl's Romp Through
Wonderland

Part Two

After Frodo finally compromised with Dervla to get her out of his shirt, meaning that he flicked her head and knocked her out long enough to grab her and pull her out, he and Legolas walked to Legolas' palace deep inside Mirkwood forest. King Thranduil welcomed Frodo with a wide smile.

"What an interesting head decoration, dear hobbit..." Thranduil said as he pointed to a beaming Dervla who had taken to riding on either Frodo's head or shoulder.

"My name is Dervla the Red, sire..." She said as she curtsied amongst Frodo's dark curls.

"A wizard? How odd... aren't you a bit small and may I say... decidedly female?" Thranduil said with a bit of amusement.

Dervla struck an indignant pose. "I am what I am and that's all that I am!"

"I'm Popeye the sailor elf!" sang Legolas as he did a sort of jig.

"Well... you can stay in my forest until you are rested up..." Thranduil said. "Mind the rather large spiders that my dear son, here, keeps as pets..." Thranduil gave a slightly irritated side glance at Legolas.

Legolas showed Frodo and Dervla to a room that they both could stay in. Frodo didn't exactly trust Dervla to have her own room due to how small she was. Frodo made her a small bed in a drawer next to his bed.

When Frodo was dressed for bed, he helped Dervla into the drawer. She sat down on the soft pillow that she had to lay on. "Where do you think Isolt went, Frodo...?" she asked as she took off her boots.

Frodo stared hard at her. "As if I know! She may have gone straight to the ring, but I doubt it..."

Dervla took off her pants and coat. She laid them at the foot of the pillow bed. She sat back on her knees and looked up at Frodo. "She gained her staff back, but how? I asked the PTB's to give me my staff and all I got was being shrunk a bit more than I already was!"

"Maybe you will eventually gain it back when the time comes... of course I only sound this wise because the author of the story is having a profound moment which will pass in time and make me a stupid git once again... HEY!"

The author at this point in time found an escape by just deciding to let them in on a little secret.

"Hey! Why is that mirror over there glowing?" said Frodo as he got into a pair of trousers.

Dervla put on her pants and boots and jumped up onto Frodo's hand. He lifted her to his shoulder where she sat comfortably. He walked up to the mirror and stared at it. It was rippling slightly, like water.

"This has a lot of magic in it... go on and touch it, Frodo..." Dervla said into Frodo's ear.

He reached a hand forward and touched the glass. It would have been glass except it let his hand through like water. He took his hand out and looked at it. Bits of silver dripped from it.

"Go on and walk through it!" Dervla said.

Frodo walked into the mirror. He felt the watery silver envelope him and he found himself in a place where blue light rippled everywhere. "We must be in between places, Dervla..."

"Keep going... let's see where this lets out!"

Frodo walked forward and felt the silver water let go of him. He found himself on soft ground. He looked around him. There were pieces of paper strewn everywhere in the small room. To his right was a book shelf. There were many books on it. There was an entire stack of white binders as well. He looked at the titles of the books. "Backstreet Boys? Q's Guide to the Continuum? Night Bites? Harry Potter? Where are we?"

Dervla jumped onto the book shelf and walked around. "Angelic Layer... Chobits... Cardcaptor Sakura... Oh My Goddess... Wish... Real Bout Highschool... Fushigi Yugi... What's Michael... No Need For Tenchi...Lord of the Rings..." Dervla listed some of the titles she saw.

She jumped back onto Frodo's shoulder and made herself comfortable. "We seem to be in someone's room..."

"That much is obvious... but where?"

"Look!"

On their right, there was a bed on the floor with purple sheets covering it. On a wooden briefcase, there was a small computer. In a chair beside the one window, a girl was tied up. She had shoulder length blonde hair, oval glasses, pale skin and blue grey eyes. She did not look the least bit happy.

"Is it friendly?" asked Frodo timidly as he looked at the girl. She glared at him dangerously and gnawed on the cloth gag.

"Come on! Let's free her!" Dervla urged him.

Frodo walked forward and released the gag from the girl's mouth. "That's a lot better! Thanks! Now... could you untie me?" she snapped at him in irritation.

"What happened... who are you? Where are we?" Frodo said as he untied her.

"Just call me Ryoko... I am the grand high Priestess of Harry Potter Doujinshi and am a permanent lurker on all Japanese Harry Potter fansites..." Ryoko said. "Some psycho bitch with an Ayeka laugh just appeared in my room, tied me up, stole my ring and disappeared again!"

"Ring? The one ring of Stupidity and Giddiness?" Dervla prompted.

"How did you know that name... I came up with that name when I was bored and had decided to wear it to the local seven eleven when my best friend dragged me into her car." Ryoko stated.

"She has the ring... so we have to go back... but how..." Frodo said to Dervla.

"Hellooo... what are you talking about..." Ryoko said. "Remember me?"

"Maybe we can go back through the mirror..." Dervla said.

"Good idea... I'm going with you..." Ryoko said.

They walked through the mirror and appeared in the place in between again. "Wow... this is pretty..." Ryoko said in awe at the blue light ripples everywhere. "It's like being in an aquarium..."

They walked forward again and found themselves back in Frodo's room in Mirkwood palace. "Wow... talk about your classy rooms!" Ryoko said.

"We're back in Mirkwood again..." said Frodo.

Ryoko went rigid. "Mirkwood? You mean I'm in my own fricken story?"

"What are you talking about..." asked Frodo.

"Well... I just left off with Frodo and Dervla being in the mirror when the demon bitch surprised me..." Ryoko said.

"I'm Frodo... and this is Dervla..." Frodo said as he stared at Ryoko. She looked very much like a human. She was strong boned and very tall, even by human standards.

"Well... we better go find Legolas and tell him..." Dervla said.

Frodo picked up her jacket and handed it to her. He put on the rest of his clothes and all three of them walked down the many corridors until they reached Legolas' chambers.

Frodo knocked on the door and waited. The door opened and Legolas appeared. "Yes?"

"Oh my God! It's Legolas!" said Ryoko with a gasp and hearts suddenly appeared all around her. Frodo popped a few that wandered by him.

"Who are you?" Legolas said.

"Ryoko..." she said as she blushed slightly.

"Isolt has the ring! We've got to find her before she uses it!" Frodo said.

Legolas quickly grabbed his arrows and his swords. Then, he hurried the others to the stables. He got Frodo a horse and Ryoko a horse. "Do you know how to ride one of these?" he asked her.

"Of course I do!" she said indignantly. She swung herself up and sat quite comfortably in the saddle. "Though I do prefer the western saddle, myself..."

Legolas swung himself up on his horse. "So... can you tell me where this Isolt woman will be going?"

"She'll be heading toward Mordor again..." Ryoko said as if she were speaking about nothing more than the weather.

They all stared at her. "What! It's my story! I know what's going to happen!"

"If it is your story... how are you writing it...? Who's the narrater?" Legolas said as he gave her an amused smile.

"Well... I don't exactly know how I ended up in here in the first place, guy... I just know that THAT was what I was planning when I started. She has the ring now, so she'll be going to Mordor to give it to the evil Queen Chtib..." The wind suddenly picked up and blew over a small bush. "Sorry about that... you say her name, a house blows over..."

They rode through Mirkwood, toward the evil lands of Mordor. They would have a hard journey in front of them. Much to Ryoko's enjoyment.

They rode hard across the wind plains. There, on top of a hill, was the capital city of Rohan. They rode up to it's gates and through them they rode. "When I was here last... there was a charming girl by the name of Eowyn..." Legolas said as he led them to the palace.

There at the top of the staircase was a woman with long blonde curls and a hard expression. "Let me guess... the first rabid fangirl, Eowyn..." Ryoko said.

"I am not a fangirl!" Eowyn protested.

"Are too... you practically DROOLED all over Aragorn when he came here..." Ryoko snapped back.

"He's a very nice man, that's all!"

"My ass! If you lived in my world, you'd be one of those girls that stays up 'till four in the morning scanning ebay for Aragorn's UNDERWEAR!" Ryoko said. "Not that I blame you..."

"I have no clue what you are talking about..." Eowyn growled and walked back into the palace.

Legolas gave Ryoko an irritated side glance. "Great... there goes some help!"

"She's a big pain in the ass... she was in the books an... I haven't had the chance to see the Two Towers movie yet..."

They got to their horses and rode out of the city. They rode hard toward Mordor again. That was, until they got to the mountains.

"How are we going to get around these mountains and the swamps without losing time...?" Frodo said. He remembered the last time he had to go to Mordor.

"Now would be a very good time for some Fire-mares..." Ryoko said.

"Wrong movie, girl..." Dervla said. "That's Krull..."

Suddenly, a thunderous sound came out of nowhere. Frodo waited pensively as the sound drew closer. Suddenly, he could see them coming around the corner of the mountain.

"They're..." Frodo started.

"Fire-kangaroos?" Ryoko said in confusion. "Makes sense to me..." she shrugged.

"We have to pick a few of them off so we can ride them!"said Legolas cheerfully.

Meanwhile, in Mordor, Isolt and the three Orc Stooges were having trouble trying to get through the gates. "I can't remember the fricken password!" Isolt growled.

"What about Sauron the mighty!" grunted the first orc.

"Or pretty orc princess!" said the second orc.

"Maybe you could use your staff on it to get in..." Pete the orc said.

"Great... of all the companions around, I have to end up with Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dumber..." Isolt growled. Then, she glared over at Pete. "And Zippy the wonder orc!"

"It was merely a suggestion, you don't have to get so nasty with me..." Pete said. Isolt zapped him on his rear. "Okay! I take it back!"