A Morning with the Dursleys
"Lalalala! Goo-goo!" cried the scrawny, dark haired child, who was lying on a ragged blanket on the cold hard floor.
"Shut up, you stupid boy!" Petunia Dursley yelled to Harry, the green eyed toddler on the floor. The thin, necky woman scowled and then turned to her own child, Dudley Dursley, sitting happily in a highchair. Even at three years he was amazingly fat. The proud mother crooned to her toddler, "Oh! My cute, little Duddlikins is going to look just like his father. Isn't he? Isn't he? Oh, yes, yes, he iiiiissssssss."
And indeed, when Mr. Dursley entered the kitchen, everyone could see the resemblance between the man and his baby. They were both massive human beings.
"Good morning, Petunia," Mr. Dursley said, kissing his wife on the cheek. "And my big boy, Dudley. Isn't he just growing up so quickly? And he's so handsome. Petunia, my dear, we have a beautiful son"
Dudley and his mother beamed. Harry promptly threw up, and then began to cry.
"You ungrateful, little germ! How dare you regurgitate our food that we give you so willingly?!" Mr. Dursley hollered as Mrs. Dursley gave Dudley a cupcake.
Harry stopped crying and simply blinked at Mr. Dursley. Then he cocked his head to the side, blinked again. And looked away.
"That's better. And next time keep down your food."
Harry simply rolled his little green eyes. What did they know? They didn't have to choke down wheat germ soaked in skim milk. What did they think he was? A pig?
Dudley laughed a high, obnoxious laugh, which really came out more like a screech and then threw his dirty nappy at Harry.
"Aw, how did he learn to do that?" Mr. Dursley asked.
"I do not know," Mrs. Dursley said, smiling. And she went to fetch a clean nappy, as Dudley was no longer wearing one.
Harry shoved the nappy aside and glared at Dudley, who was licking the icing off of his cupcake. Dudley saw him and shrieked, dropping the cupcake. Harry grinned, flipped over, and crawled to under the highchair, where the cupcake lay, frostingless and dirty. He grabbed it and was about to stuff the entire thing in his mouth when there was a loud scream. Harry looked up in time to see an enraged Dudley struggling with his chair, trying to get at Harry. He picked up his sippy cup and threw it at Harry. (The whole thing was quite funny really, which you would know if you have ever seen a cross bit of Jell-O.) Harry ducked away and stuck the pastry in his mouth.
Aunt Petunia heard Dudley's screams and came running in, "Oh you horrid little boy, what have you done to my Dudley?!" She rushed over and clutched up Dudley, who now seemed quite calm. She gave Dudley three new cupcakes and locked Harry in the broom closet under the stairs with several dirty nappies. Not before taking the remains of the stolen cupcake from his mouth, however.
"Lalalala! Goo-goo!" cried the scrawny, dark haired child, who was lying on a ragged blanket on the cold hard floor.
"Shut up, you stupid boy!" Petunia Dursley yelled to Harry, the green eyed toddler on the floor. The thin, necky woman scowled and then turned to her own child, Dudley Dursley, sitting happily in a highchair. Even at three years he was amazingly fat. The proud mother crooned to her toddler, "Oh! My cute, little Duddlikins is going to look just like his father. Isn't he? Isn't he? Oh, yes, yes, he iiiiissssssss."
And indeed, when Mr. Dursley entered the kitchen, everyone could see the resemblance between the man and his baby. They were both massive human beings.
"Good morning, Petunia," Mr. Dursley said, kissing his wife on the cheek. "And my big boy, Dudley. Isn't he just growing up so quickly? And he's so handsome. Petunia, my dear, we have a beautiful son"
Dudley and his mother beamed. Harry promptly threw up, and then began to cry.
"You ungrateful, little germ! How dare you regurgitate our food that we give you so willingly?!" Mr. Dursley hollered as Mrs. Dursley gave Dudley a cupcake.
Harry stopped crying and simply blinked at Mr. Dursley. Then he cocked his head to the side, blinked again. And looked away.
"That's better. And next time keep down your food."
Harry simply rolled his little green eyes. What did they know? They didn't have to choke down wheat germ soaked in skim milk. What did they think he was? A pig?
Dudley laughed a high, obnoxious laugh, which really came out more like a screech and then threw his dirty nappy at Harry.
"Aw, how did he learn to do that?" Mr. Dursley asked.
"I do not know," Mrs. Dursley said, smiling. And she went to fetch a clean nappy, as Dudley was no longer wearing one.
Harry shoved the nappy aside and glared at Dudley, who was licking the icing off of his cupcake. Dudley saw him and shrieked, dropping the cupcake. Harry grinned, flipped over, and crawled to under the highchair, where the cupcake lay, frostingless and dirty. He grabbed it and was about to stuff the entire thing in his mouth when there was a loud scream. Harry looked up in time to see an enraged Dudley struggling with his chair, trying to get at Harry. He picked up his sippy cup and threw it at Harry. (The whole thing was quite funny really, which you would know if you have ever seen a cross bit of Jell-O.) Harry ducked away and stuck the pastry in his mouth.
Aunt Petunia heard Dudley's screams and came running in, "Oh you horrid little boy, what have you done to my Dudley?!" She rushed over and clutched up Dudley, who now seemed quite calm. She gave Dudley three new cupcakes and locked Harry in the broom closet under the stairs with several dirty nappies. Not before taking the remains of the stolen cupcake from his mouth, however.