"A Short Discussion about `The Universe'"
by Neil Reynolds

Chapter 2: The Desires of the Nekoken

Nabiki: Hey, Ranma. I've got a scheme in mind that might actually help you, rather than hurt you.

Ranma: A scheme that wont hurt me? This isn't going to embarrass me with my girl side, is it?

Nabiki: Nope, I've a training method that might make you a better martial artist.

Ranma: Does it involve swinging 20 ton boulders at me?

Nabiki: No, it ...

Ranma: Or sticking my hands in fire or piranna infested waters?

Nabiki: No, it ...

Ranma: Or throwing wasp nests at my head?

Nabiki: Enough! It might remove one of your three weaknesses.

Ranma: I don't have weaknesses. I'm the best!

Nabiki: You have three weaknesses. You can be forced to change genders against your will. You have a problem with cats. And finally you have Genma as a father. Those are your three worst weaknesses.

Ranma: You're not planning on adopting me, are you?

Nabiki: I think I can lessen your fear of cats, but there's a catch. The trick will be to make the bad parts as minor as possible.

Ranma: You're not planning on throwing me in another pit of them, are you?

Nabiki: No, but to cure you, you'll have to be in the nekoken, maybe a few times.

* * *

Nabiki: Akane, you ever get weird ideas while almost asleep?

Akane: Sometimes.

Nabiki: Last night I had this idea for a practical joke. It's either one of the most elaborate ideas I've ever had, or the most embarrassing.

Akane: What was it?

Nabiki: I don't want to tell anyone until I'm sure it'll work. But if it does work, the joke will be on Kodachi, and she wont suspect we were involved.

Akane: What do you need me for?

Nabiki: To find out if it is going to work, I need to play with Ranma-neko. We'll do it in private so you wont be embarrassed, but I need you to bring him out of it.

Akane: You plan to throw cats at Ranma?

Nabiki: No, I got him to agree to help, since it might lessen his fear of cats. But he gave me one condition.

Akane: What

Nabiki: Since I wont tell him what I'll do, and since he doesn't know what he does in that state, I have to take responsibility for whatever happens. Even if he acts like a pervert, you'll have to mallet me instead of him.

Akane: Do you honestly think I'm going to give him free reign to do anything?

Nabiki: You know it isn't his fault when he's in that state. I mean it. I don't care if he puts a hand up my dress, you can only mallet me. Remember, this is to stick it to Kodachi

* * *

Nabiki: OK, I've gotten Ranma's permission to put him into the Nekoken if I think I can cure him, and if I take responsibility for his actions. I've gotten Akane to agree to this, and to help me bring him out of it. I've gotten two depressed cat-loving martial arts gymnasts from St. Hebereke who are interested in gaining a jump on Kodachi, and I've got a plan to get rid of our fathers when I do this. Now, how can I talk to the nekoken itself, after I get Ranma into it?

Cologne: I don't know.

Nabiki: What?

Cologne: I have a couple of suggestions, but nothing that would definitely work.

Nabiki: OK what suggestions?

Cologne: The problem is twofold. Finding out what the nekoken really wants, and getting it to agree to gift you a piece of its power if you help. I'd recommend getting a big piece of tuna for Ranma, and another for a spiritual offering. You're not dealing with the kind of spirit that cares about material wealth, so a plain type of altar is all that's required. Here's the most important part. What do you imagine the spirit of the nekoken is like.

Nabiki: you mean, the spirit will take the form I select? Doesn't that imply that it doesn't really exist? It's just a product of my imagination?

Cologne: Not at all. A powerful spirit will be completely unaffected by your impressions. However, you'll be working to make the spirit manifest. It will be easier for the spirit to fit the model you provide. If it wants, or if your image doesn't suit it, it will either expend the extra energy it needs, or not show up altogether.
It's especially important with the non-human spirits, as your impression is a means for them to bridge the gap of communication between the two of you. Some spirits are so inhuman that objectively, there is no way that they could converse with you. The energy that you put into the spell can provide a humanizing aspect to a kami, if, of course it's willing to accept humanizing.

Nabiki: I thought this was to acquire my starting magical capital. How can I be putting energy into the summoning?

Cologne: Don't be foolish. After all you've been through, if you had no magical reserves, you'd have to be near magically dead. If that were the case, you could forget ever casting a spell on your own.
You're not trying to raise the lord of Fujiyama, and make it human. You're trying to aid a spirit in doing what it already wants. If the nekoken resists, you have no chance of going against its wishes. All you need is to offer a little power to entice the spirit to deal with you, as opposed to someone else.
Lets start from a different tack. What do we know about the spirit.

Nabiki: Well, It's dangerous.

Cologne: That's it?

Nabiki: Well it's not like we've been formally introduced.

Cologne: Surely you can deduce alot from the way Ranma acts.

Nabiki: Well, he only attacks when there's a current threat available. Remove the threat, and he's nicer. So the nekoken isn't inherently mean, but it's no fool either. No forethought or planning, but it knows who its friends are. Its never been defeated, it has never needed to retreat, so it probably knows it's at the top of the food chain.

Cologne: What about gender?

Nabiki: Well, it did crawl into Akane's lap, so we could make an argument that it wants a female for a mate. But it never really did anything to imply it was either male or female. It acts more like a prepubescent kitten. If it were a female kitten, I'd expect more of a hunting instinct. Mock battles and playing with its food. If it were a male kitten, I'd expect Ranma to be going around marking its territory. Luckily he has never tried that.
Tentatively I'd say gender neutral kitten. If there were a peaceful, well liked male, Ranma might have crawled into his lap.

Cologne: So how do you see the spirit of the nekoken in your eyes?

Nabiki: A cross between a full-grown tiger, and a baby housecat kitten. Able to draw on Ranma's semi-adult brain when needed, but basically a new born kitten at heart. Wants attention and care which makes it gregarious.

Cologne: It's a shame you didn't anthropomorphise it. That would have made it more likely to be able to speak.

Nabiki: Sorry, I just can't see it like some sort of cat-woman. When Ranma goes cat, he is as much a cat as is physically possible, maybe even more so. I don't think human spines should do that.

Cologne: Eventually you'll be able to manipulate somewhat the form you provide, so that it could talk during negotiations, even if it normally couldn't understand language at all.
For now you'll have to rely on strong feelings. If you're thinking of taking advantage of this situation, you'll surely fail. You must be thinking of this as something great for both of you. Perhaps imagine that you have been living with the cat, Where both of you wish to help the other, but neither is really master of the other.
Try to concentrate on what you could do for it, if it wanted, and see if it seems to want it.

Nabiki: This sounds awfully vague.

Cologne: Of course it is. I have no idea how you're going to do this. I'd brew up something that would change our natures so that I could communicate directly with the spirit, or summon an intermediary.
These aren't options for you. You have to find your own method. I can only help, and guide.

Nabiki: How about the nekoken as a helpful spirit? A totem guide, or helpful inhuman spirit?

Cologne: Promising. It would make communication easier, as that would be one of its reasons for existing. On the other hand, that's offering more of yourself than you might want. That might be an offer of alliance. A permanent bond between you.
Not a bad idea, but it might be more than you want to take on at this time. I wouldn't do it with an unknown spirit, but I wouldn't rule it out in the future. That would be like turning a business deal into an Omiai, or a blind partnership. See if you can become the spirit's friend.

Nabiki: Right. I like cats, but that isn't enough to form a permanent relationship.

Cologne: As you're going to be communicating with it on an emotional level, and you tend to submerge your emotions during a business deal, I'd recommend preparing in advance by spending as much time as you can with kittens. Shampoo will be no help there, because emotionally she's human regardless of form.
Perhaps you should visit animal shelters, unless you know someone whose cat has recently littered.

Nabiki: The only cats I know are spayed. Keeping a cat is expensive enough, without risking litters of kittens. Besides, spayed cats live longer, stay kitten-like longer, and are less likely to get cancer, not to mention die from childbirth.
I suppose I could spend some time playing with kittens. That's hardly a hardship. I can have the ceremony next weekend. Will you be attending?

Cologne: I would if it were likely to be any risk, but in this case I'd better not. My presence would complicate things. I have my own preconceived notions that differ from yours. There's also the risk that I would be seen as the instigator, and you just an assistant. In that case, all the power would go to me, instead of you. Besides, this is going to be just the first exploratory meeting to see if you can do it a favor. Not an attempt to force it to do something.
Also, there's the risk that I might summon CAT instead of just Ranma's nekoken, and that would be a much different story.

Nabiki: CAT?

Cologne: The embodiment of cats. By yourself, you're beneath its notice. Unless, of course, you've been secretly slaughtering them for fun.

Nabiki: Nope, innocent on that score. The only creatures I've destroyed were stupid teenager's egos. Perhaps I should avoid summoning up the spirit of youthful enthusiasm.

* * *

That Sunday, Nabiki entered the common area.

Nabiki: Akane, Ranma, it's time.

Soun: Time for what?

Nabiki: Oh, I have a plan that just might lessen the effect of one of the stupidest things Genma has ever done while raising Ranma.

Soun: You're going to cure his Jusenkyou curse?

Nabiki: No, I'm

Kasumi: Reunite him with his mother?

Nabiki: No, I'm

Soun: Break the engagement to Ukyou?

Nabiki: No, I

Kasumi: Teach him how to relate to girls his own age?

Nabiki: No, I

Soun: Fish, rice, and 2 pickles

Nabiki: No,

Kasumi: Table manners?

Nabiki: The nekoken! I'm going to risk Genma's life to try to see if I might be able to cure Ranma.

Genma: Now, Nabiki. Thats an awful lot of maybes to risk my life over. There must be a safer way.

Nabiki: Nope. The only way I'll be able to tell, requires that Ranma enters the nekoken.

Soun: That sounds awfully dangerous.

Nabiki: Not to us girls. It would be absolutely safe if you weren't present. However, should you be present, there's a chance he'll attack you. If Happosai shows up, I give Happosai an 80% survival rate.

Genma: You mean this might be the end of the master? Hold on, while we find him.

Nabiki: Ahem. An 80% chance of survival, because he has an 80% of leading Ranma to you. If he sees you, we'll be having Panda steaks for a month to dispose of the body.

Genma: Soun! Lets go find the master, and volunteer for training. It's the least we can do to prevent him from interfering.

Akane: Nabiki! I thought this plan was for Kodachi!

Nabiki: Of course. Something for everyone involved. The brilliant thing about this plan, is that everyone benefits to some extent, except Kodachi, and any males who cross Ranma while he's under.

* * *

Akane: What's with all this junk?

Nabiki: Everything here is needed to test if my plan could work.

Akane: I think I want to hear this plan now.

Nabiki: I told you. I'll tell you only if I think this is going to work. I have to warn you, though, you might see something that looks like the cat-ghost, or something spooky. If you try to interfere, I might be in danger. If you do nothing, the spirit will be unable to harm us. The worst thing you could do is try to protect me. Even if he tries to bite me, I should be unharmed. it's just a ghost.

Akane: I don't like this.

Nabiki: That's why you'll be sitting at the other end of the room with ear-plugs on, waiting until it's time to bring Ranma out of it. The tuna sashimi is for Ranma in cat form, and the salmon is for the ghost.

Ranma: I know I don't like this.

Nabiki: Hush. I've taken every precaution. The worst thing that could happen to you is that you'll beat up your father. I mentioned killing him only to get him out of the house. The worst thing that could happen to Akane would be getting her clothes wet if everything went wrong, and she needed to use the water buckets to bring you out. Now Ranma go behind that screen, look into the cage, and let yourself be scared out of your mind. Lower your guard now, so that one day, you'll never have to again.

While Ranma commenced screaming, Akane voluntarily put the ear-plugs in. Finally the screaming stops, and a loud meow is heard. Nabiki approaches Ranma with the expensive cut of tuna, while Ranma circles around watching her. Eventually, Ranma pulls the tuna from her hand onto the floor, and begins eating it, with much more fastidious manners than he normally displayed when eating alongside his father.
Nabiki petted Ranma's head, and scratched him behind the ears, while lighting incense, and tossing the salmon onto a hibachi. Ranma suddenly falls asleep, as a cute, translucent, orange and black kitten, the size of a large dog leaps out of Ranma for the hibachi.
After all of the fish has disappeared, The long-fanged, wickedly clawed mastiff of a kitten proceeded to climb all over Nabiki, Tickling her mercilessly, until finally it consented to be groomed while sitting in Nabiki's lap.
Had this been a solid animal, it would have weighed in at 80 to 100 pounds, but as it was a translucent spirit, Nabiki could barely feel it.
Once it stopped racing all over Nabiki, it became apparent, that not only was this an unusual cat ghost, but it also had eight legs, and when it yawned, it looked like its fangs were too large to fit inside its mouth when closed.
Nabiki sat and stroked the phantom cat, while looking deep in thought. After about 5 minutes, the cat leaped into Ranma, who woke up, and asked what happened.

Nabiki: I guess we didn't need Akane after all.

Akane: Nabiki! what just happened?

Nabiki: It looks like my crazy idea worked! If I told you it involved an eight-legged ghost cat, you'd have said I was crazy!
Ranma, I can do something about your cat fear. I don't know how much, and you'll have to go through this again, but a best case scenario might give you the nekoken, without the fear of cats. Are you willing to try it?

Ranma: I'll try anything as long as it isn't one of my pop's crazy plans.

Nabiki: One more thing. I may wind up with cats in my room at some point. Can you stand living in a house knowing there are cats behind a closed door?

Ranma: If I can't, I can always camp out for a while. The weather's nice.

Nabiki: Then, if I can arrange it, we do this again next week.

* * *

Cologne: So how did it go?

Nabiki: I'm not sure. It didn't care much one way, or the other about splitting itself. Or rather, it wanted to try it due to curiosity at least once, but I don't know if it will want to go far enough to cure Ranma.

Cologne: Well, then, if it doesn't want to continue, we'll have to think up a better offer for it. At least you've made a start.
How is it going to reward you?

Nabiki: I don't know. I know it will give me something, but I don't think it knows what it can give me.

Cologne: Well, you really have two choices here. Either you can demand what you want, or you can take whatever it offers.

Nabiki: In this instance, I'm inclined to accept what it gives. I have no real idea what to ask for, or what my help is worth. And generosity often exceeds a demand, especially if we aren't in competition, and something of little value to it might be worth more to me.

Cologne: And even if you get stiffed, you'll have benefitted from the attempt, and you can either get some kind of favor in the future for your generosity, or you can use it to enhance your reputation to create other opportunities that might be possible.

Nabiki: Reputation?

Cologne: Just like with your classmates, if the spirits that you work with don't trust you, it will be very hard to do business with them. You were lucky in this case, as your dealings with Ranma probably convinced the nekoken that you keep your word.

Nabiki: There's one thing that puzzled me. It seemed to want to do something about kittens dying prematurely. It wasn't insistent, or anything. Just that it was a strong desire to protect kittens, and a knowledge that there were kittens dying out there.

Cologne: Well then, thats both a promising line for a future deal, and possibly a bit worrying, as well.

Nabiki: Why worrying?

Cologne: I've been working under the assumption that we are only dealing with a tiny kami consisting of Ranma's nekoken. Somewhere out there, there is a larger kami representing the idea of the existence of the nekoken. For example, the combined total of every nekoken spirit.
Ranma's nekoken might be worried about other kittens through what it learned while existing in Ranma. But there's also the possibility, that it is in contact with more powerful spirits, even possibly CAT. If that's the case, you might be able to use these connections just like you would in a normal business, but it would also make it harder for you to deal with opposing forces. Or if you make a poor first impression, you may never get any farther with this type of spirit.

Nabiki: You mean I might loose my chances with DOG?

Cologne: Don't be facetious. There is a DOG, although wolf might be a better name, but there is no rivalry between the two, except that the two species occupy the same ecological niche within the cities.
Just make sure you put your best foot forward. It can't hurt to be especially careful to leave a good impression, and it could have unexpected dividends.
Now, how are you planning to implement the transfer?

Nabiki: Well, at first I thought of an exchange of symbolic tokens. But this seemed too much like implying that the token contained the power, and if the token was destroyed, so would the deal.
I toyed with the idea of some kind of gold jewelry, since gold doesn't tarnish, and is intrinsically valuable, unlike precious stones which can be manufactured from quartz and carbon. But thats too like a romantic connection between Ranma and the girls, plus the added possibility of it being stolen or lost.
If we're going to use the idea of a token, it should be something that at the end of the ceremony the item is unrecoverable. Something edible, drinkable, or inhaleable.
Blood, and other bodily fluids are too trite, unsanitary, and frankly disgust me. But something else perhaps.

Cologne: There are many food related beliefs that would work. You just need to find the one that has the most significance to you. That method will be the most effective.

Nabiki: I liked the idea of using chocolate. It's very easy to break into sections, and was considered holy or valuable to many cultures. But then I remembered that chocolate is poisonous to cats.

Cologne: Keep in mind that Catnip is edible by humans but is a mild soporific and hallucinogen.

Nabiki: A drunk Ranma with no inhibitions, and chi razor-claws is a quite effective nightmare, thank you.
Meat or fish would be appropriate to share with a cat, but hardly as a gift from a cat.

Cologne: Kittens do bring home dead birds and rats as offerings to loved ones.

Nabiki: Ugh. I don't think anyone will go for eating something symbolic of a dead rat.
A kiss would be a good method of transference, if we weren't dealing with Ranma.

Cologne: Yes, that's just asking for trouble.
There's always anointing with oils.

Nabiki: That'd work, but there must be something better. That's too Western European.
Sake would work, but it might imply a marriage vow. How about milk?

Cologne: That should work. To divide the nekoken, it could permeate the milk, and then measured amounts could be drank by the girls, with Ranma drinking the rest.

Nabiki: That might be a problem. When the nekoken left Ranma, he fell asleep. If the nekoken is in the milk, no one's controlling Ranma.

Cologne: You'll need to use your sister as an assistant then, and have her spoon feed the milk into Ranma. Anything else we need to prepare?

Nabiki: I still need to convince one or both of the gymnasts I've selected. They need to be convinced magic is real, so they can go into this knowing all of the consequences.

Cologne: Developing morals against tricking them into it?

Nabiki: I don't think it will work. I need them to want this to work.

Cologne: Good. If you invite them to a lunch here, I'll volunteer Mousse as a demonstration model.

* * *

Nabiki: First, I want to ask you if you believe in magic?

Naomi: Well, I do buy charms and good-luck trinkets occasionally.

Miki: I don't. They're a waste of money.

Nabiki: Actually I was thinking more about the standing on a mountain-top, calling down rain and lightning. Things that can't be explained as a possible coincidence.

Naomi: No. Not really.

Nabiki: Mousse! come over here!

Mousse: What do you want?

Cologne: You will do this either consciously, or unconsciously. Now hold these girl's hands.

Mousse: Old bat.

After Mousse has his hands firmly held by each girl, Cologne splashes him from behind with the drinking water Miki had been enjoying.

Nabiki: You see, magic exists, it's just very rare.

Miki: Do that again!

Nabiki: Hold his wings again while we turn him back.

Mousse: *SQUAAAAK* Eeep!

Naomi: Oh my!

Miki: Did you see his ...

Naomi: Just for a moment.

Miki: So Naomi, was he named 'Moose' for the size of his ...

Naomi: Well, it WAS big.

Nabiki: Merely average. If you want more information on him, I can sell you his dossier later.
Now girls, if you believe in magic, let me tell you what I need you for. There was this six year old boy who liked cats. He had an insane father. His father wanted to teach his son how to fight like a cat.
But his son could already fight well, so he hit upon a plan. He gathered up as many cats as he could, even stealing people's pets, and put them in a big pit, and starved them for a week. Then he tied up his son, covered him with fish sausages, and threw him in.

Miki: You're kidding

Nabiki: Nope. The only thing he learned was to protect his eyes, while the starving cats shredded the fish, his clothes, and his skin. So, after starving the cats for another week, he tied up the little boy, and threw him in again.
When the boy came out, he had a paranoid fear of cats. But that didn't stop things, that was only the beginning.
His father figured out the best way to cure the boy, was for him to face his fear, so, varying the types of food he covered his son in, he threw him in, week after week, until his son went insane. His son thought he was a cat.
The ironic thing is that the father succeeded. The boy had remarkable speed and dexterity, and could shred wood with a swipe of his claws. But due to his fear and pain, he could either be wholy human, or wholy cat. When he's normal, he's deadly afraid of cats, and can't stand to be around them. When he's a cat, he's inhumanly fast.
If it wasn't so extreme, he could have integrated his two states, so that he could always access his cat abilities, and could always think. Of course, he probably would have gained some personality traits from his cat side. Things like social confidence, extroversion, playful, happy outlook.
We wanted to bleed off some of the effects, so that we might cure him. But that requires finding people who are willing to accept these changes. Both of you like cats, both of you would be able to make use of inhuman strength, dexterity, and speed. And both of you are less outgoing than average, so a little boost of social confidence might make your life happier. If you accept, we'd give you about 10% of his cat-spirit, which should make it easy to assimilate, while still remaining human, and avoiding all of the bad effects that the boy suffers due to his having the whole thing.

Miki: I'm not sure if I'm comfortable in dealing with real magic, especially if it is going to affect my mind.

Nabiki: It's completely up to you. I can promise you that you won't lose anything of yourself. You'll have to decide if it is something that you'd want to add. There are also two sets of agreements we need from you. The simple one is a promise never to abuse a cat, and to try to protect them if you can. That one the spirit inside the boy insists on.
The second requirements are promises that you wont use your abilities against us. We need a promise that you wont attack the three Chinese living here, and the Chinese in their village. We need a promise that you wont attack any Tendo, no matter what Kodachi says, and a promise that you will never try to marry Ranma Saotome, and that you relinquish any claims if they already exist.

Naomi: Ranma Saotome? The boy Kodachi is hung up on?

Nabiki: Yes. He's the boy whose father abused him. He's also engaged to marry both my younger sister, and a childhood friend. Both are arraigned marriages made by his father. Also, by amazon law, he's already married to the waitress here, although that marriage hasn't been consummated, or recognized by the Japanese. So you can see, the playing field is already quite crowded, and new fiancees keep appearing. So before helping you, we want to make sure we aren't adding you to the list of neglected teenagers.

Miki: Well, I don't mind giving up a boy I don't know, and who's already taken. And I don't mind promising not to hurt people who do me a favor. And promising to be nice to cats doesn't bother me, unless you mean man eating tigers. I like cats already.

Naomi: Yeah, I don't want to be Kodachi's romantic rival. If she'd thought of it before, she'd have made the whole team swear they wouldn't marry him. There are enough cute guys out there that I think we can bear to let one get away, right Miki?

Miki: Hmmf. As if either of us had a boyfriend to begin with. I swear my parents sent me to an all girl's school so that I wouldn't date until college. Nabiki, I want to see what we're getting ourselves into before I agree. But if that goes well, then I'm in.

Naomi: Good idea. Can you show us what we'd be getting into?

Nabiki: All right. Come by the Tendo Dojo this Saturday. And if you like what you see, we'll do the transference. So far, only people in this room know about this, so keep it quiet around other people. The last thing we want is both of the Kunos crashing the party.

* * *

Nabiki: Ranma! Akane! We're on for this Saturday. Daddy? Remember that bit last weekend about the nekoken? We're going to be doing phase 2 this Saturday. If you want to stay and lend your support, I'd suggest being fully clothed in armor. Though I doubt it will help, seeing how easily Ranma clawed through stone.

Soun: I think we can leave it in your hands, Nabiki.

Nabiki: Don't forget to take Happosai with you, or he'll just lead Ranma to you.

Genma: Another weekend with the Master?

Soun: A martial artist's life is fraught with peril.

* * *

Nabiki: Elder, I've been thinking about what you said concerning an insane magician. How does this apply to Ranma, when he goes cat? He's insane, and he's permeated with magic, as well as a spirit.

Cologne: That's not the type of insanity I was talking about, although there are strong correlaries. Some of the things he does in that state aren't possible with his level of chi mastery, and with his human spine. But Ranma's relatively safe, as it is only with regards to himself that he's delusional.
Imagine someone like Kuno with the power to subconsciously cast spells. He believes all women long for him and all men fear him. Imagine if one morning it were true?

Nabiki: Thanks. I'm going to have a brand new type of nightmare tonight.

Cologne: When these things occur, they don't last long. He'd most likely create an enemy worthy of himself, and die a martyr. Other insane magicians created pocket realms for themselves, where they think they're ruling the world from their tiny room. Some have become spirits and fell under different rules than humans, or if they're extremely one-tracked minds, merged with whatever anthropomorphized entity they most closely match. Death might look like Kuno for a generation or two.
There are many types of insanity. Luckily for us we have such perfect examples of the kind that are most dangerous, right here in Nerima. The Kunos and the cat-Ranma suffer from forms of a paranoid schizophrenic crack-up that has the power to rise them beyond merely human, or trash them as junk.

Nabiki: The Kunos as more than human?

Cologne: They have the possibility to become more than human. It's not likely, as they're way too self-aggrandizing. But in theory, they could grow out of that state. Many cultures have said that the mad are beloved by the gods, and it is to them that extreme inspiration most often hits.
Shamans used methods specifically designed to drive themselves temporarily over the edge of sanity so that they could bring back to their societies new ideas. If these ideas resonated within the sane minds of the tribe, the idea persisted, Otherwise it eventually died out.
"In action, how like an angel, in apprehension, how like a god." But without the divine madness, how like flocks of sheep do most people behave. Imagine what good Kuno could do if he were slightly more intelligent, and less concerned with himself? He'd draw followers like flies, anxious for his teaching. He'd lose the flaws that are keeping his Kendo skills from rising. He'd be someone people would look up to. Eccentric, but noble. Instead, he's a laughing stock.

Nabiki: OK, I can see that as possible, if you started off with a better brand of Kuno.

Cologne: The point is that insanity ranges from a crippling debility, to the freedom of a mystic, or hero. How many of the great minds of the past are politely referred to as eccentric? Perhaps it would be easier to list the great people who weren't a little off.
Beethoven rarely washed, if at all. Van Gogh was clinically maniacally depressive. Tesla had a disgust of hair. Da Vinci's sex life is in great dispute, as he didn't seem to have one. Oscar Wilde was sentenced to hard labor for loving a young man. Alan Turing was forced by the courts to take male hormones in order to fight his homosexuality. Julius Caesar was epileptic. Napoleon had a massive inferiority complex which he subsumed by conquering half of Europe.
Whether you define sanity by logical thought, or by group consensus, the act of changing other's mind-sets is nearly impossible for a sane individual, as logical thought cannot suggest an idea which isn't derivative. The only exception I can see would be Einstein, who was confronted with the fact that the speed of light is constant, and from that derived Special Relativity. But he couldn't have done that unless someone else decided to test the ridiculous hypothesis that the speed of light WAS constant. So in effect, what he really did was to take the work of other madmen, and develop a self-consistent description of their results."

* * *

Nabiki: Okay everyone, lets get started. Ranma, you're the patient, so you don't have to do anything yet.
Naomi, Miki, you will be needed for the last step, but until I call you, would you stand behind me, please.

Miki: Okay.

Nabiki: Akane, you're our guard, and backup. If something goes wrong, it'll either be due to someone interrupting us, or a need to snap Ranma out of it. If it comes to that, I'll call you. Otherwise, your job is to alert us if anyone's coming, and to keep them out of the dojo until I call all clear. That includes friends, by the way. You don't have to beat anyone up, just keep them occupied.
I have backup plans for everything I could think might happen, but with the craziness around here, you're our insurance. But don't come in unless we call you, it could be dangerous for you.

Akane: I hope you know what you're doing.

Nabiki: Cologne is waiting at the Nekohanten to keep Shampoo and Mousse in line. But if she doesn't hear from me, she'll assume something went wrong and rescue all of us. I set this up in case the weirdness goes off the scale, like Gojira arriving, or Kuno becoming sane.
Ranma, behind that Shoji screen is that which bothers you most. Submit to it, and I'll take it from there.

Ranma: If this works, it'll be worth it. God, I hope this works.

As Ranma went behind the shoji screen, Nabiki produced two pieces of fish, one on a plate, the other on an altar. After numerous noises, Ranma comes out, spots the fish, and starts eating.
Meanwhile, Nabiki sacrifices the other piece of fish, as a prayer offering. When Ranma finishes his the fish, he falls over, asleep.
The mastiff sized kitten emerged from Ranma, and proceeded to run wildly over Nabiki, Naomi, and Miki. It would butt its head against their legs, and use them to brush its sides, until all three of them were sitting on the floor. All three girls were petting and stroking the semi-transparent kitten, who seemed solid to the touch, but weighed practically nothing,
When the kitten had more or less calmed down, Nabiki produced a liter bottle of milk, and unsealed it.

Nabiki: In you go.

The kitten seemed to turn to smoke, which looked like it was being sucked into the bottle. As soon as the smoke touched the milk, the milk began glowing like a sixty watt light-bulb.
Nabiki filled two measuring cups with 100 milliliters each, and turned to the two girls.

Nabiki: I have to feed this milk to the unconscious boy. This'll take a while, but when I'm finished, you should both drink your portions at more or less the same time.

When Nabiki had gotten Ranma to swallow the remaining milk, Naomi and Miki drank theirs together. Everyone but Nabiki briefly glowed slightly, and Ranma came to, just as Naomi and Miki slumped bonelessly to the floor, like marionettes whose strings have been cut.

Nabiki: Akane!

Akane: What happened?

Nabiki: Everything went fine until they collapsed! Help me with them!

Ranma: They seem alright. They look just like your father does, when he faints. I'll go get some cold compresses, while you lay them out comfortably.

Nabiki: Akane, you make them comfortable. I'm going to call Cologne and Tofu for advice.

* * *

Cologne answers the phone at the Nekohanten.

Cologne: Hello Nabiki, how did it go?

Nabiki: Everything seemed to go as planned, until Ranma woke up. The girls collapsed, and appear to have fainted!

Cologne: Calm down. That's probably all that happened. Care for them as if that were the case. If they don't wake up in the next five minutes, call me back, and I'll rush over with supplies for an exorcism, and for dream-related magic. And then call Dr. Tofu to come over.

Nabiki: Okay, I'll call you then.
* * *
Nabiki rushes back into the dojo to join Ranma and Akane, who are attending the two unconscious girls.

Nabiki: Cologne says it may be just a case of fainting. No need to panic unless they don't snap out of it soon.

Ranma: I think Miki is coming around!

Miki: Uhng. What happened?

Nabiki: We had just finished the ceremony, when you and Naomi passed out. How do you feel?

Miki: I feel like the time I came to after a blow to the head, but without any pain.

Naomi: Uuuh. I feel about the same.

Nabiki: You two rest a bit while I tell doctor Cologne that we don't need a house call.

Miki: Did it work? I don't feel much different.

Ranma: I don't know. Nothing seems to have happened to me. How do we test you for possession of a spirit fragment?

Akane: We could find a shrine maiden, and have her examine you.

Nabiki returns

Nabiki: How do you feel now?

Naomi: I feel normal. I don't feel different, but I guess I don't really know how I should feel.

Nabiki: Well, I've planned a test, but Ranma should leave the room.

Ranma: Is this some "Girls Only" thing?

Nabiki: I don't want you going into it, while we test them.

Ranma: Oh, gotcha. Bye.

Nabiki: Akane, you're backup again. don't worry about outside interruptions. I'm going to bring out a housecat that I've got behind that shoji screen, and carry it toward you. If at any time, either of you feel any fear, or panic, just say stop, and I'll freeze, or get away, and I'll retreat as fast as I can.

Miki: That kitten doesn't bother me. how about you, Naomi?

Naomi: Nope. I've always liked cats, and I still like cats.

Miki: When that ghost cat wrestled with us, I haven't had that much fun in a long time. Do you think that kitten is in a playful mood?

* * *

Nabiki: Well, that didn't seem to accomplish much.

Miki: It didn't do anything to me, but I thought Naomi was acting a little out of character.

Naomi: No way. If anything, it's you that's a little different.

Nabiki: Well, let's call it a day. If anything happens that worries you, let me know, and I'll see what I can do about it.

* * *

Miki: No way! I'm just having a good day at practice.

Naomi: Come on. You've changed. You're behaving differently, and your balance has way improved!

Miki: I'm behaving the same as always! It's you who's acting differently. And you've never been that agile before.

Naomi: But I feel normal.

Miki: Let's visit Nabiki after practice.

* * *

Cologne: Well, it seems both of you have improved coordination, balance, and when you do something without thinking about it, your speed has improved. I'd say that the ceremony was a success, at least for you two.

Miki: What about the way she's acting?

Naomi: It's you that's changed! I'm the same as I was last week!

Cologne: You've both changed. Even though I don't know you very well, it's readily apparent. It's not a radical change, and you seem to have integrated those changes to the point where you can't notice them in yourself. This implies that you received a piece of the spirit, and it has completely integrated with you. If it hadn't completely merged, then you'd have definitely noticed yourself when you were acting differently.
The only question now is wither you like the change, or not. Your parents and teachers will assume that it's just a normal change in the process of growing up, unless you tell them differently.

Miki: I'm happy the way things are, but I've thought of something. What would happen if someone tried an exorcism or a ward on us?

Cologne: Nothing. Once two souls fully merge, they have formed a new soul that is complete, and indistinguishable from a normal soul. Wait. let me rephrase that. what happened has changed your soul, but it is now impossible to say what parts are native to your body, and what parts are possession. You each have one unusual soul that's as firmly fixed to your body as everyone else's.

Naomi: So is there anything mystical that we have to worry about?

Cologne: Not as far as magic itself goes. The only thing that will plague you is that due to your odd souls, you'd be considered more interesting to other spirits than the average human. I'd worry more about Catnip. A cat that could buy its own catnip would have a very good chance to get hooked. Watch out for each other when it comes to dealing with mints. You don't want to get hooked on candy canes, although if you need a vice, being hooked on peppermint is one of the least harmful.

* * *

Nabiki: Well, we may have helped Miki and Naomi with this experiment, But Ranma's still scared of cats. We achieved some kind of transference, but not enough to help my main human client, and my spirit client seems content with the experiment as it stands. I don't see where to go from here.

Cologne: His fear of cats is ingrained psychologically as well as spiritually. Even if you removed the spirit completely, he'd still have it. It should be easier to treat by traditional methods, as the spirit won't be fighting Ranma's spirit at the same time. What we really want is to achieve some new status quo where the spirit is happier, and Ranma doesn't loose his sanity around cats.

Nabiki: The theory at our house seems to be that he enters cat-mode, because that way he is what he considers the most frightening thing in the world. By becoming it, he's more powerful than what he fears.

Cologne: Well that might be part of it, but it isn't that promising a line of enquiry. That would suggest that we need to convince his subconscious that he's stronger than the cats. However we need to avoid any kind of adversarial relationship between Ranma and the cats. You wont get anywhere if either Ranma or the spirit are fighting you.

Nabiki: What I'd like to do is have Ranma form some comforting associations with cats, but I can't see how to do this with his phobia so severe.

Cologne: What if Ranma could remain aware when he went cat, and spent time with cats in that state?

Nabiki: I wouldn't go for it. I couldn't imagine being aware, but unable to control my own body.

Cologne: But being in control is much more important to you than it is to Ranma. Besides, it could be made to seem a dream sequence.

Nabiki: Well, if he were in cat mode, and playing with kittens, and could perceive their affections without the visual and audio cues that freak him out, we might be able to get him to make good associations.

Cologne: I'm a little worried that that might reinforce the image that he's safe only when it's a cat interacting with another cat. Also you'd have to select kittens carefully, an accidental scratch could do a great deal of harm.

Nabiki: So I'll have to do a very careful selection process. That's just a logistics problem, I can handle those. People who care for such well behaved cats usually wouldn't entrust them to strangers anyway. How about the cat spirit playing with a kitten and its owner? If the owner is a young child, it might further soothe the child in Ranma that was abused.

Cologne: Then you have to deal with how the child reacts to the spirit.

Nabiki: I can handle that. Even if only one tenth of the kitten/child pairs can handle playful ghosts, that only increases the logistical problem tenfold.

Cologne: You'll have to interview alot of people.

Nabiki: I can delegate most of that, I'd see only the close matches to make a final decision. How would we get Ranma into a cat trance where he's partially aware?

Cologne: I can help supply specific soporifics to put Ranma in an appropriate trance. It would be a case of me lending my skills to set up a situation you could exploit. I'll have to be uninvolved with the actual event, but if you administer the dosage, it will be seen as a ritual that you alone are performing, even though you use items you couldn't make yourself. You didn't have to learn metallurgy to make the hibachi you used to sacrifice the salmon to the kami, therefor you can use a potion I've created, and still be the sole mystic involved. But that doesn't help in summoning the spirit out of Ranma. How would you envision a spirit summoning?

Nabiki: Well, if we had an appropriate vessel, we could temporarily transpose the spirit like I did with the milk, but we'd need a vessel that would be appropriate for cuddling a cat.

Cologne: If we didn't need the vessel to actually interact with the kitten, we could use something symbolic, like a cat doll. As it is, it looks like the vessel would have to be live. You could be the vessel, but I wouldn't recommend it. Too many things could go wrong.

Nabiki: What if instead of bringing Ranma to the friendly kitten experience, we brought the experience to him? Would there be some way of storing or distilling the warm feeling of a kitten, and gifting it to Ranma in his dreams?

Cologne: That would be much harder, but also offers some interesting possibilities. We could combine that with the Xai fang Gao shiatsu technique to make him forget why he fears cats, put him into a trance state with a potion, have the distilled feelings added to his dreams, and reverse the shiatsu after he wakes.

Nabiki Why cant we just use the shiatsu to make him forget, and be done with it?

Cologne: Because his fears aren't a rational outgrowth of the event that caused them. We could make him forget why he's scared of cats, but that would still leave the fear. The fear is subconscious, even possibly autonomous. There's evidence that traumatic events like that change the physiochemical nature of the brain. The fear might be directly wired into his fight-or-flight response.

Nabiki: So how would we distill warm fuzzy cat feelings?

Cologne: You tell me. What makes sense to you?

Nabiki: Well, if I were making a potion, I assume I'd use cat parts, but it would be a bad idea to harm a cat in any way.

Cologne: There are ways around that for those of us who rely on potions, but that's a bit beyond what you're capable of doing at the moment. Go on.

Nabiki: Something worn by the recordee. An amulet, bracelet or headband. The item should represent somehow the idea we are trying to transmit. Perhaps it should be blessed by the cat spirit in some way, or at least get its approval.

Cologne: That's a good basis. Are you going to just record the human's experience, or the pet's also?

Nabiki: I hadn't thought of that. I could have something designed to be attached to a cat collar. Hey, maybe something that interlocks with the human's recording device to symbolize the combination of the two sets of feelings being transmitted, and the type of setup we want to eventually arrange.

Cologne: That sounds good. Draw up a more detailed proposal, and see if any more ideas come to you

* * *

Nabiki: OK, Ranma, I've got a theory on how to wipe out all of your fear of cats, for good.

Ranma: Great. What do I have to do?

Nabiki: Not so fast. It isn't that simple. Let me explain what's going on. There's a young spirit living inside of you that's tied to you. It's what takes over when you go into your cat-state. Most attempts to cure you would likely kill it, or imprison it, So it has been fighting for its life all along. Instead of fighting it, I'm suggesting making a permanent alliance with it.

Ranma: What would that mean?

Nabiki: I can't give you a perfect answer. What I think would happen, is that it would be always awake from now on, and able to see the world through your eyes, and you would be conscious when it was in control. It would probably like to come out and play occasionally,, but it would be your spirit that would be dominant. In exchange for this, we should be able to wipe out the fear, and even get you to the point where you like cats.

Ranma: I don't know if I like the idea of sharing my body with a spirit, especially one that can take control.

Nabiki: But that's what you already have. The spirit has been living in you since the training. Your body is its only home. And it took control whenever you were overwhelmed with fear. What I'm proposing is to allow you two to communicate, pass control freely, and make life more pleasant for whomever isn't dominant at the time. In exchange, you lose what has been a crippling fear.

Ranma: How would we do that?

Nabiki: I'm making an amulet that i can charge up. When it's ready, you'd take a sleeping draught just before going to bed, and wear the amulet while you sleep. There's a chance it would give you nightmares, but I think it would actually make your dreams pleasant. Then I take the amulet, in the morning, and recharge it. If it gives you nightmares, we'll do it slightly differently. But that's the general idea.

Ranma: How do you recharge the amulet?

Nabiki: Until you're over this fear, you really don't want to know.

Ranma: What's this going to cost me?

Nabiki: Simple. In the future I'm going to want to do more experiments. I'm asking you to agree to do them if they don't sound bad. I'm leaving you veto power to avoid ones you really don't want to do, and relying on your honor to do as many as you think are fair.

Ranma: OK. Its worth it not to lose control during a fight, and to know what happened while I'm under. I'm in.

Nabiki: Good, this will only work if you both agree to it. I'll need to get the spirit's permission too. I'll summon it when the amulet is finished. Meanwhile, think about the alliance with the spirit, there's evidence that this will let the spirit know about it.

* * *

Nabiki: I've found someone to make a necklace that can hold two small figurines as removable insets, and a woodcarver who can make figurines of a boy and a cat, that can be attached to a charm bracelet, cat collar, or the necklace's front-piece.

Cologne: Have him carve them out of oak, instead of pine.

Nabiki: Why oak?

Cologne: It's better suited to hold a psychic charge. We'll go over this more when we discuss the rudiments of alchemy. For now, let me draw an analogy. The best metal to conduct electricity in a wire would be gold, but that's impractical except in special circumstances. Next best would be silver, but that is still too expensive, so we use copper wiring. Iron and Aluminum will conduct electricity, but copper is so much better at it, even if it isn't the best. Pine would work, oak works excellently, there are even better substances, but there's no need when oak will do well enough.

Nabiki: Are there any other convenient materials with good properties?

Cologne: Keep an eye out for branches of oak or sakura that have been blasted off a tree by lightning, and stones that have had natural water wear out a hole through it. Survivors of two conflicting natural forces have a power arising from both. The power of lightning is unlike anything mankind could have made, except in the last hundred years, and wood that has survived it intact but changed resonates with the energy of life and electricity. Likewise the immutable stone subjected to implacable water describes both sides of order and change. Metallurgy is a study all its own. Luckily we live in a time where arbitrary metals can be acquired for cash, unless, of course, you need a rare one like uranium 235.
How are you set up for subjects to charge the figurines?

Nabiki: I've found half a dozen parents with six year old children. All the parents are indulgent to the idea of a charm being made. They claim not to believe in magic, but they were brought up with all of the typical superstitions. The children all get along with their pet cats. I've offered a nominal sum for their permission, and intend to bring a parent approved toy for the children every other session. The whole thing is moderately expensive, but cheaper than seeing a psychiatrist once a week. Whenever I've talked with Ranma, I've referred to the spirit living within him, without mentioning its characteristics. From Ranma's speech, he seems to have anthropomorphised it, which should make it easier to reconcile the two of them. If he can make friends with the spirit without thinking of it as a cat, then the struggle is half over.

Cologne: That's good, but you should be aware that this will add complications. Ranma has less talent and learning than you, but a much higher repository of natural magic. His opinions about the nature of the spirit will have some bearing on how it manifests and behaves.

Nabiki: I've described the spirit as trapped in Ranma, and unable to survive on it's own. I'm trying to steer Ranma into viewing it as an unfortunate victim. I'm hoping he'll rise to the occasion and want to protect and nurture it, rather than ask for an exorcism. I've pointed out that the problems it has caused him were arising from it fighting for its continued existence, and not from inherent malice on its part.

Cologne: He's spent so long isolated from others while growing up, he should enjoy having a pet kami living with him.

* * *

Nabiki: OK, Ranma, I've charged up the necklace. In this glass is a vile tasting soporific. I've tasted a drop myself, and I let Genma drink a glass after topping it with whipped cream. He stole it and drank it when I turned my back to him. No noticeable side effects, except the odd sensation that everything that happens to your body, is happening off in the distance. Have you ever taken Codeine? Its the same effect. Just before you go to sleep, drink it, and put on the necklace. Your father is out drinking, so you can sleep late tomorrow while he nurses his hangover.

Ranma: You've thought of everything, haven't you?

Nabiki: I do try. There are three likely reactions to this. The one we want will be a night of vague, pleasant dreams. There's a small chance of nightmares, which would mean it works, but not in the way we want. If that happens I can probably fix it the next night. If there's no effect, then the whole experiment's a bust. Good luck.

* * *

Nabiki: So how were the dreams?

Ranma: Weird. Pleasant, but frightening. Like taking a nice hot bath, while you know Kodachi is waiting downstairs.

Nabiki: Which feeling was predominant?

Ranma: Warmth and affection, but the fear was always in the background. Even though I couldn't figure out what was causing it.

Nabiki: Then I think it was a success. Over time, the dreams should change. When you notice what direction they're going in, please tell me.

Ranma: Am I going to have to drink more of that crap?

Nabiki: I'm afraid so. Over time, the amount of disassociation caused by the drugs will diminish until it's only sleeping medicine, Then you can substitute an over the counter sleeping pill instead. Anything else you can tell me about the dream?

Ranma: Well, I had another one, but I don't think it's related.

Nabiki: Tell me anyway.

Ranma: Your father was crying like normal, and Kasumi walks in, and I notice that Soun's only one foot tall. Kasumi picks him up and rocks him back and forth saying "There, there, father." for a while. Then she hands him over to a completely invisible woman who breast feeds him, when Akane walks in with a mallet, and clobbers him, while screaming "You pervert! How could you conceive me?"

Nabiki: You better not tell anyone else about that one.

* * *

Ranma: I had my first dream where I could remember everything clearly!

Nabiki: What happened?

Ranma: I was surrounded by warmth and affection. Not like when Shampoo jumps and hugs me, but sort of a quiet, accepting kind of affection. But off to my right lurked the thing that was causing me anxiety. It sorta resolved itself into clouds. Alot of little affectionate clouds surrounding me, and one big menacing cloud. All of a sudden, the clouds snapped into focus. I was surrounded by dozens of little cats with wisps of flame for legs, but growling at me was this huge cat, bigger than a panda! I back up against the wall in a defensive pose. The little cats get up and form ranks between me and the monster. Then at the exact same moment they swarm the beast, and drive it off! Then each cat turns into a tongue of flame, and collides together, and turns into a campfire. Then Kuno took a meringue pie and smeared his face with it, while Akane dropped lobsters in his hakama. Then miss Hinako appeared wearing a cowboy hat and boots, sitting in a saddle on pop in panda form, while a flock of crows flew by saying `Aho.' Then for some reason a hot dog was being chased by a herd of doughnuts being chased by a herd of more hotdogs ...

Nabiki: That's enough. It's getting was too Freudian for me. Lets discuss the ghost-cats in your dream. How did you feel about them?

Ranma: Well, at first I convinced myself that since they were only ghosts, that they couldn't really hurt me, But the way they tore into the big one proved that wrong. I guess I felt both frightened and safe.

Nabiki: Frightened and safe?

Ranma: Frightened of what they were, and safe because they were on my side. Like a naked katana, dangerous but comforting if its protecting you. I felt like they cared for me even though I was scared of them. Something like Kasumi entering the living room with a loaded uzi.

Nabiki: Okaaaay. I think we're heading in the right direction. We need you to get along with the kami inside you, and it is on your side. If you look at cats as powerful, but quirky individuals that are sometimes on your side, and sometimes against you, then cats are no worse than the martial artists that pass through.

Ranma: I'm not scared of any martial artists!

Nabiki: Exactly! Cologne is better trained than you, or at least knows techniques you haven't mastered yet. She's dangerous but not something to fear in itself. If you can see some cats as bad cats that cause you pain, and some cats as good, and protective, then you no longer fear cats themselves. You'll only have an unusually strong respect for the feelings of housecats.

Ranma: OK, I think I follow you, What's the next step, Doc?

Nabiki: First, we'll continue on the amulet treatment for now. It's helping, so there's no reason to stop. Next, there are two possibilities. The first is to get you to spend time with the nicest cat I can find, under supervision so that you can get away from it at any time without going under, and only go as far as you're willing.

Ranma: I'm not going to like that.

Nabiki: The other one is irreversible. Break down the wall that separates you from communicating with the kami. Once we do that, we're committed. I think you'd be better off dealing with a real cat first.

Ranma: OK, I think I can deal with a real cat.

Nabiki: Alright, I'll see if I can convince one of the mothers who helped me charge the amulet to allow you to visit. The one I have in mind, has a boy as old as you were when your father tortured you. He loves his kitten, and the kitten obviously loves him back. In addition, the kitten is already declawed so it wont hurt you by accident.

* * *

Cologne: So how goes your patient and client?

Nabiki: I can't say that Ranma likes cats, but he has become acquaintances with several cats. He still reacts badly to an accidental scratch or prick from their claws, and watching him react whenever a cat yawns and shows its teeth would be comical if it weren't so pathetic. I'd say he's ready to spend time with Shampoo's cursed form, but only on her best behavior, and only supervised. Ranma is more receptive if there's someone the cat obeys present. He'll never admit it, but he'll trust Shampoo more if you are in the room. I think it's time to introduce Ranma to his cat spirit. Once the two of them can interact, we can either work on helping them live together, or find some way to make them both happy separately.

Cologne: So how will you do it?

Nabiki: I'm not sure. Ranma has to be conscious, so I thought he should start by meditating. If I had the spirit inside of me, I'd formulate what I thought was a good offer for it, and offer it for acceptance. Somehow that doesn't seem right for Ranma.

Cologne: Yes, that likely wouldn't work. We effectively need Ranma's help in casting this spell if we want to do it with the energy available. You could appeal to a higher power to provide the energy to fix this, but that would ruin the original purpose of this which was to make a spirit indebted to you. I think your best bet would be to act as a negotiator, and shape the ritual in such a way that Ranma, himself, would cast the spell if he were able to. Set up a formal meeting. Agree to terms. Have him make whatever commitments to fulfill his half of the bargain, and have him drink this potion.

Nabiki: What's in it?

Cologne: A soporific strong enough to put an elephant to sleep, mixed with a tissane of about two dozen herbs that go poorly together, in order to make it taste vile.

Nabiki: I don't get it.

Cologne: For you, the spell would be cast once both parties agreed. Ranma, on the other hand, needs closure to convince him that all is proceeding correctly. He'll drink the magic potion, and when he wakes up, he will expect it to have taken affect. This little bit of showmanship really is necessary, because this puts Ranma's magical strength working with yours. For the same reasons, you have to make sure that the agreement isn't merely one that you feel is binding, but one that Ranma would keep. Bring in as many symbols as will convince him that this is an unbreakable oath. An irrevocable change in the order of the universe. Being of his own culture, you'll have a better idea what symbols are most binding to him.

Nabiki: I'll get Ranma or a parent to pay for a professional tea ceremony. I'll write up a formal document for him to stamp with his hanko. He'll need his family's tanto. Maybe use that to stamp it in blood. Incense and something to burn the document to send it to the spirit realm.

Cologne: I know Ranma well enough to know that a paper document won't be sufficient.

Nabiki: True, he'll have to make a verbal commitment. I'll have him swear it three times. Once on his own honor, once on his families honor. What should the third one be?

Cologne: How about on his skill as a martial artist? Have him acknowledge verbally that he's swearing triply, and after the last oath, down the potion.

Nabiki: OK, now I've got to plan the wording for the commitment Ranma and the spirit are making.

Cologne: You'll have to discuss it with Ranma beforehand. You can't surprise him at the ceremony, He has to fully accept it. You must "prepare the roots for transplanting" as you Japanese like to put it.

Nabiki: I think I can manage that, that's what a business negotiator does, anyway.

* * *

Nabiki: OK, Ranma. The final step of the cure is in two parts. The first part we decide on what the new arrangement between you and the spirit trapped in you will be, and the second will be a private commitment ceremony when all of this will take hold. The first part is informal, while the second part is very formal.

Ranma: What kind of an arrangement are you talking about?

Nabiki: Let me describe how your situation looks from the outside. You were born sixteen years ago. When you were six, your idiot father decided to torture you, at which point a kami came into being. The metaphysical process isn't important. When you are conscious, the kami is asleep, When you slipped into your nekoken, the kami had control of your body, and you were asleep. Not knowing of the kami, you and your father tried to get rid of your fear. As this would keep the kami from awakening, and possibly kill it, it has fought tooth and nail for its survival. In exchange for a promise to do right by the Kami, I had it agree to let me cure you. Now we have to decide how both of you can live together in the only body either of you have.

Ranma: So I gotta give control to this kami? I don't like that.

Nabiki: That's what you've been doing all along with the nekoken. Plus you never know what happened. This way it would happen when it wouldn't screw up the rest of your life, and you'd know about it afterwards. Besides, think of the kami. it rarely ever gets out, and has unwittingly been badly treated its whole life. The only thing you have to fight with it over, is your body. If you can get it to agree, then you've got an ally, possibly even a friend. And in the future, there's a slim chance of forging a suitable body for it.

Ranma: OK. I still don't like it, but it probably is better that way. What kind of agreement did you have in mind?

* * *

Ranma: I, Ranma Saotome, having sole possession of my body, but sharing it with the kami, which shall be henceforth referred to in the Japanese language as Ran'neko, desire to make a new arrangement with Ran'neko for our mutual benefit. From now on, when one of us is in possession of control of this body, the other may either observe or sleep as they wish. The observer will have access to all of the senses of the body. Furthermore, we may communicate with each other, at least through empathic feelings, although we hope to have this extend to Japanese at such time as Ran'neko understands it. I will voluntarily allow Ran'neko control more often than I have in the past, and expect Ran'neko to relinquish control afterwards. It is my fervent hope that we will learn to coexist peacefully. So say I, Ranma Saotome.

* * *

Nabiki: So, Ranma, did it work?

Ranma: Merrrow.

[Ranma in cat mode leapt at Nabiki, knocking her to the floor, and while sitting on her lap, gives her a big cat-kiss.

Akane: You pervert!

* * *

Nabiki: So, Ranma. Is it you in there?

Ranma: Yep, I was still half asleep when Ran'neko woke before. i can't explain it, but I can feel it there. It's curious and mystified by what's going on. I don't think it understands speech yet.

Nabiki: Well, you retained the nekoken when Ran'neko is in control. Akane couldn't punish you for Ran'neko kissing me. You even shredded her mallet.

Ranma: That was weird. My body moved before I could have reacted, And I felt like I do when casting a mouko takabisha. Now I've got a chance to learn the nekoken for real.

Nabiki: I've got to warn you, it may be impossible for a human to truely master the nekoken without merging with the spirit. Cologne pointed out some of the things you do with your spine in cat mode could not be achieved purely through martial arts, and involved magic originating from the spirit.

Ranma: So it isn't a purely martial arts technique?

Nabiki: Yep, it relies on the Ran'neko's spiritual power as well as martial arts. mind you, with the two of you cooperating, you might be able to pull it off. Cologne suggested that one doesn't learn the nekoken so much as merge with it. You might want to discuss this with her.

Ranma: I think tomorrow, while sparring with pop might be an ideal time to let Ran'neko out to play.

* * *

Ranma: Nabiki said you didn't think I could learn the nekoken.

Cologne: On the contrary, I can't think of anyone more likely to be able to learn it, seeing as you're actually in your body while it is being performed. You can probably learn alot that would be useful. I just don't think it likely that a pure human can master it.

Ranma: You think thats why I haven't been able to master these chi claws Ran'neko uses to shred things? The best I've managed looked like my mouko takabisha coming out as four flamethrowers out of my fingers. Ran'neko seems to think it's insanely easy.

Cologne: No. The problem most likely there is that the claws are a second order construct, while you're trying to form them as a first order construct.

Ranma: What do you mean?

Cologne: Say you wanted to make a katana out of fire or electricity. You have a campfire in front of you. You can increase or decrease the fire by adding wood. You can throw a burning branch, or wave it like a club. You can even shape it to some extent by shaping the fuel. But no matter what you do, you cannot form a true katana out of it. The best you could make would be a really nasty club. That's basically what your mouko takabisha is. Pure energy cast through the lens of emotion.

Ranma: So how does Ran'neko form the claws?

Cologne: The way you manipulate energy, is through more energy. Electricity is controlled through the use of other electricity. Fire affects fire. You must release some of your chi to form an environment where whenever you release a bit more chi, it flows into the shape you want without effort. All of your effort goes into shaping the mould for the claws. The claws form effortlessly.

Ranma: Is this how Happosai makes that chi blast that looks like a dragon?

Cologne: No. It's unlikely anyone has the skill in shaping second order effects to create something that detailed. For that, he's actually sending out a spirit projection, and filling it with chi to make it visible and dangerous.

Ranma: Could I do something like that with Ran'neko?

Cologne: Theoretically, yes. However trying to do that without learning the intermediate steps runs the risk of killing both of you. The natural tendency would put all your chi into the spirit, the human body would die, and then the spirit would lose the body's chi, and die too.

Ranma: Why does Ran'neko find it so easy to do?

Cologne: Because it's doing it on an almost instinctual level. Spirits are themselves first order forces. They learn how to do second order chi manipulations about the same way you learned to use your muscles as a baby. Imagine the difficulty you'd have explaining to someone else without words how to move your arm. You just do it. Moving your arm is trivial, explaining it is ridiculous.

Ranma: You mentioned first and second order effects, are there still higher ones?

Cologne: Theoretically, yes. But the difficulty in getting the desired results is of such a ridiculous magnitude, that second order is a practical maximum. Although there are legends of attacks and defenses that would be impossible without using tertiary effects.

Ranma: Like what?

Cologne: Magically dead chi traps. Something using absolutely no magic or spirits, but that channels someone else's chi into making a weapon that fires back at the activator. With no magic, it's nearly invisible to magical senses, And if anyone uses their chi to try to detect it, they kill themselves.

Ranma: Ouch. I'm glad that one's lost. How does one defeat it?

Cologne: One doesn't. One avoids it. Send in cannon fodder to activate it, and look for another way in. If you can figure out precisely how it was made, you could unmake it, but one slip, and it goes off. The traditional way to destroy it, was to watch forty or fifty people getting torn to death, so that you could figure out how to undo it.

Ranma: Ugh. Thats nasty. How do you detect it then?

Cologne: By the pile of dead martial artists. Don't worry, if left alone, the traps usually destroy themselves in a few years, and the secret has been lost for over a thousand years.

Ranma: When it was a closely guarded Amazon secret?

Cologne: No, a dragon's. She lived in the Bayankala range, although nowhere near us. One day, her cave vanished, and she hasn't been seen since.

Ranma: What do you mean vanished? A landslide?

Cologne: No, it was as if the cave never formed. After extensive excavation work, there was no evidence of it ever existing. We dug out an area larger than the original cave, but found nothing. There's still a marble plaque there, saying "Sorry about the mess. Was worried something happened to you. We will make every effort to help if we accidentally destroyed something. -- The Joketsuzoku" It's always a good idea to be polite to dragons. No sense in getting the stuffing ripped out of you every day.

* * *