Jerry Feldon observed her closely. "Tell me what you're feeling, Irene."

She inhaled deeply. "Excited, scared, happy, sad--all sorts of emotions jumbled together."

"That's to be expected. How are you and the girls adjusting?"

"Good." She smiled brightly. "We may be poor, but we're having so much fun together. It feels great to do what we want without having to look over our shoulders in fear." Her voice grew serious. "And it feels great not to be someone's punching bag."

"Even though you've had a bad marriage, Irene, usually both parties still hurt when the divorce actually becomes a reality. It is easy to feel like a failure, and after several months, convince yourself that maybe you should give him another chance. I know your self-esteem has improved, but Alexander has a way of talking his way back into your good graces from all you've told me."

She shook her head firmly. "Not this time. My girls mean too much to me. If I let Alexander back into our lives, they'd lose all respect for me."

"What about the lonely nights?"

"I have my writing, and I'm determined to succeed. The girls are very encouraging to me, and they read and edit my material. I like my space and my freedom." She stared into his eyes. "Sometimes I feel the loneliness of not having someone beside me at night, but I quickly remind myself of what he's done to me and my daughters."

He studied her appearance. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, and her hair hung loosely around her shoulders. She had the confidence and the drive to make it through just about anything; she was a survivor. She seemed to be deep in thought. "What are you thinking about?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I guess there are a lot of things I really don't understand. It takes two people to make a marriage. They both recite their vows, but it only takes one person to really honor those same vows. You can't make the other person do his part. Sometimes it's so hard to let go of the pain and hurt that person can inflict upon you. Your whole sense of worth can be totally destroyed with just a few carelessly spoken words. Marriage is supposed to mean sharing everything, but how can a man who calls himself a Chistian tell his wife that he owes her nothing, and when she has to beg for whatever tidbits he throws her, reduces her to feeling like she's the scum of the earth? Alexander never fulfilled his vows. It took me a long time to face that. He felt manly seeing my pain and tears. Those made him feel like a man's man. He'd throw insult after insult at me until I was a crumbled mass lying there with my heart exposed--wounded and raw."

"I'm pleased you can express the pain he caused you, Irene." His voice was soft.

"It's a good learning experience. I see now how easy it was to become trapped while I slowly let Alexander steal away the strongest part of me to fulfill the weakest part of him. I could never feel secure with him again. Sometimes I think his mental abuse was the worse. He was like a vulture waiting for me to let my guard down, then he'd swoop down, hurling more venom than you could ever imagine. This was love to Alexander." She took a deep breath. "I know it'll take me a long time to undo all the damage he has done, but I'll make it." She flashed him a bright smile.

He smiled back at her. "You amaze me, Irene. I have no doubt you'll be okay."